NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

I wsh the photos in the intro were pixelized too. But this is till awesome.

 

Reminded me of this flash game: http://www.scuzzstuff.org/bushgame/

And there is also Pyongyang Racer for those who want to explore the most glorious city in all its glory.

http://www.pyongyangracer.co/index.html

 

Tree Simulator 2013: Treeloaded
http://www.desura.com/games/tree-simulator-2013-treeloaded

 

GreenManGaming survey
Do you IDENTIFY as???

No transcyborg option??

 

You know, the whole country has their own intranet service, in lieu of the World-Wide Web. There's probably a lot of hilarious propaganda flash games they've got squirreled away there.

Maybe we should arrange a Codex trip to the glorious DPRK and write an article about the state of their RPGs.

 

It's not every day that a QTE describes itself so perfectly.


EDIT: Below is the chart for Watch Dogs and all the "exclusive" deals it has, and DLC availability. Sorry about the low-res quality, but the original Reddit image has been deleted.

 

I've managed to find a higher resolution version:

 

Back in my day you didn't have to pay the developers to put cheat codes in the game for you.

 

mandatory .jpg:

 

Seems like a quality game.



Skip to 7:09 if you want to admire the huge amount of filler shit they have the guts to call content. The words "mind bending digital tricks" were liberally used.

 

These type of filler works with light hearted GTA style games but generally sucks too much and becomes mindless waste of time in edgy "serious" games like these.

 

Mini-review
Thanks to treave I finally installed another game aside from Corruption of Champion on my android pad.
I have reservations... do you?

Show Spoiler Hide Spoiler

The Premise
LoveLife: School Idol Festival is a rhythm game with stats. Gameplay involves you, as the 'idol trainer' to conduct successful concerts, earn cash and ensure the team continues to gain experience as well as having a wide roster of capable members.



The combined attribute of the the nine bandmates will determine how easy/hard it is to score when performing songs. This game has four attributes:
Stamina (Green Heart): HP. Determines how much you can fuck up.
Smile (Red): Allow better performance of Red songs.
Pure (Green): Allows better performance of Green songs.
Cool (Blue): Allows better performance of Blue songs.

Ultimately, you want an appropriate team for each song type and hopefully you have a good set of fingers to perform the touches on on prompt.

The Gameplay


The objective is simple: survive till the end of the song and score as high as you can. How to score?
Well, balls will start to float from the center of the screen towards the nine ladies, tap the lady when the ball is directly on top of her. Other cues will involve you tapping two balls on two ladies at the same time, or holding the ball on her mouth until a white orb follows it up, then let go of it right on her face. Literally. Other threats like Star Balls will punish you if you miss it.

During the performance, you will also trigger your star skills. Some girls have a chance to regenerate the stamina, others will increase the score periodically. And that's basically it. The higher the difficulty, the more reward it is. And each difficulty has a set of achievements that rewards the players with cash, or Friend Points that they can spend to Scout for more talents.



But Steve, we can only have 9 members playing, so what do we do with the rest if they can't play? Well, you can keep them to perform other songs, or... you can use them to Practice with your favorite girl and give her EXP.



Doing practice this way means the girls that you sent to practice will be gone forever. I assume they were sold to prostitution to afford the main idol some singing lessons because they are worthless otherwise. You will never get them back, oh kidding just wait for the RNG to give you another set of cards when you finish a song or unlock rewards.

Why do you play?
Because she's worth it.
Well, there's also a story mode.



Storyfags, come!



You can play a story and unlock rewards. The primary story so far is a short tutorial followed with a goal for the player to achieve like finishing a Normal difficulty song, or reaching a certain Rank etc.



What the above said.
And there's also side stories for those who want to know the girls more...'personally.'
How do you do that? Well every time you perform with them, you gain Bond points.



Max out her bond and... it's not enough.
Like real life you need to do more than 'like' her. This involves getting a duplicate card of her, and then IDOLIZE her by spending gold and effectively dress her in new clothes.



There we go!

So is this game free to play?

Absolutely. There's hardly much advertisement. This is one aspect which made me happy to play this game in the bus or train. Or in between work. I didn't have to waste my time staring at pop ups or waiting for my turn to play. The real-to-game currency is called Love Gems. You can use this to Restore Life Points spent when conducting live show - basically it limits to how often can you play. Unless you're addicted to this, there shouldn't be a problem. I played like 5-6 concerts in a day and never ran out of LP. I also suspect the alternate special costumes are only available with real cash. Not like I give a shit, I'd want them to wear nothing if I could.



There's also a more 'beneficial' usage of Love Gem and I suspect it is the main draw of the game. You can only gain a Rare 'Honor Student' Card by spending 5 Love Gems. Or save up 50 and get 11 instead. You can try completing achievements and progressing through the side stories for the gems. (1 per side story) or you can buy them with real money.
Which will take you to this screen.



Nope.



Nope.





Anyways, you can also add strangers as friends to add their team skill to your performance.



Calling their help will give them Friend Points to spend on Scouting new talents. It's a good way to get duplicate cards to 'Idolize' or burn them on 'Practice' for your main idol.

Overall, the experience is pretty positive for me. I can't find a single fault if I judge it by a mobile game limitation.
Lovelife's School Idol Festival achieved what it wanted and created a gameplay that appeals to the achiever types without making it impossible to progress unless you spend real currency.


Link to the game

 

The parts where you have to let go at staggered intervals on multiple girls at the same time are quite tricky.

 

Obsidian, what have you done?

 

Will it have queefing DLC?

 

http://www.desura.com/games/tree-simulator-2013-treeloaded

 

I never even found the original simulation parody games funny.
Still, can't blame people for trying to make a bit of money - if you make anything with "simulator" in the title and it's a buggy piece of shit, you can claim it's a parody and you just know that some asshole like PewDiePie is gonna play it and then millions of people are gonna buy it.

 

This one has already graced the screenshot thread...

 

It is at the top of the page too.

 

Floating bow tie, console gamer... would not euhm socialize with.