Putting the 'role' back in role-playing games since 2002.
Donate to Codex
Good Old Games
  • Welcome to rpgcodex.net, a site dedicated to discussing computer based role-playing games in a free and open fashion. We're less strict than other forums, but please refer to the rules.

    "This message is awaiting moderator approval": All new users must pass through our moderation queue before they will be able to post normally. Until your account has "passed" your posts will only be visible to yourself (and moderators) until they are approved. Give us a week to get around to approving / deleting / ignoring your mundane opinion on crap before hassling us about it. Once you have passed the moderation period (think of it as a test), you will be able to post normally, just like all the other retards.

Death Stranding Director's Cut - Kojima's post-apocalyptic deliveryman simulator

fantadomat

Arcane
Edgy Vatnik Wumao
Joined
Jun 2, 2017
Messages
37,087
Location
Bulgaria
Ahhh people never learn that magic dev stars don't exist and that games are made by teams a not some genius dev.
 

a cut of domestic sheep prime

Guest
This is amazing. It's even worse than I thought.
Considering this is Kojima were talking about I'm sure the pissing is fully fledged mechanic.
If you piss in the grass a mushroom will grow like we've seen in the trailer. The more you drink and go without pissing the more piss you accumulate, however if go to long without pissing the PC will piss his pants - wich will emit a strong scent that attracts enemies - and will gain bladder problems (it's a survival game after all). If you piss with enemies nearby they will hear you, but if you piss at them they will vomit like in Postal 2 - you can also put out small fires it your piss. If you piss in front of NPC's they will comment on the constituion of the PC's cock.

Whoa dude, if try put the camera in front of the PC, he will turn around so you can't ogle at his dick!
You also have to rock the baby when he's starts crying, such gameplay!
as opposed to pew pew pew for 20 levels, interspersed with generic cutscenes?

so it's a weird, different vanity project. so what? I think it looks like a cool diversion.

it isn't MGS6, but it was never going to be.

meh, I'm not going to play it unless it comes out on PC anyway.:M
 

a cut of domestic sheep prime

Guest
All I wanted from this hack was MGSV with actual content and a less moronic storyline, and he makes a hiking simulator with peeing mechanics.
*ADVANCED peeing mechanics
I heard Kojima was taking the piss with this game.
Kojima: "ok, so it will be about fetch quests and rocking babies to sleep. oh and hot girls, yeah. they'll talk about their milky tits. no combat. the only shooting you'll be doing is when you're growing giant mushrooms with your piss!"

Studio executives:

NByM44X.gif
 

Zep Zepo

Titties and Beer
Dumbfuck Repressed Homosexual
Joined
Mar 23, 2013
Messages
5,233
I can't leave without my buddy Superfly Baby!

Updating Baby... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Zep--
 

DJOGamer PT

Arcane
Joined
Apr 8, 2015
Messages
7,354
Location
Lusitânia
Ahhh people never learn that magic dev stars don't exist and that games are made by teams a not some genius dev.

Well, while the devs/game directors are certantly not the one's who code the sytems, animate the assets and build levels. They are the one who primarly design the overall systems, content, control the team and have the final word.
I may not like Kojima, but it's clear as day that if it wasn't for him MGS3 would've never been a good game with fun gameplay and content the game has.
 

fantadomat

Arcane
Edgy Vatnik Wumao
Joined
Jun 2, 2017
Messages
37,087
Location
Bulgaria
Ahhh people never learn that magic dev stars don't exist and that games are made by teams a not some genius dev.

Well, while the devs/game directors are certantly not the one's who code the sytems, animate the assets and build levels. They are the one who primarly design the overall systems, content, control the team and have the final word.
I may not like Kojima, but it's clear as day that if it wasn't for him MGS3 would've never been a good game with fun gameplay and content the game has.
Not really,there is a lot of creative people involved in to making the game. The boss is the guy that say what direction the game should take,but there is a lot of other people that suggests and create shit for the game,there is narrative lead,there is art design lead,there is sound design lead. The director could have the vision about how the game should be as a whole,but he lacks the knowledge and the skills to dabble in all the aspects involved in to making of a game. That is why those people act as a council for the director,they bounce ideas of each other and some of them stick,while other ones are cut from the game. Games are created by combine imagination and skills of group of people. Thinking that there is a single dude that makes the game a gem is moronic.
 

DJOGamer PT

Arcane
Joined
Apr 8, 2015
Messages
7,354
Location
Lusitânia
Yes, I know and I agree.
But there are quite a few cases of game's turn out to be gem because of the vision and direction of a particular dev.
Like I already mentioned MGS3, Demon's Souls is one as well, the first Devil May Cry and numerous others.
 

gerey

Arcane
Zionist Agent
Joined
Feb 2, 2007
Messages
3,472
the-dark-knight-104690.jpg

This is what I imagine the inside of the development studio of Death Standing looks like. That's Kojima's accountant on top after he told him that they didn't have money to implement a defecation mechanic.
 

DemonKing

Arcane
Joined
Dec 5, 2003
Messages
5,958
Can't believe I wasted 6 minutes of my life watching the "gameplay" trailer waiting for something interesting to happen.

Starts with an even more boring version of "Click X to pay your respects" with "Click X to wake up" and then we get to watch Daryl pissing out a precisely calculated amount of wee (a woman must have been controlling him because straight afterwards he walks *through* the place he was peeing - no guy would do that but it's the sort of thing women probably think we do) and then, amazingly, it manages to go downhill from there.

A true master designer...

:excellent:
 

Sòren

Arcane
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Messages
2,350
oh and hot girls, yeah. they'll talk about their milky tits.

i expected to see a hot girl with milky tits after reading this comment, and i didn't see anything of this in the videos that were posted here. the girl looks like a boring, flat chested librarian. if she squinted more often, she would look like a girl who works at my local library. i'm not paying money to see that!
 

a cut of domestic sheep prime

Guest
oh and hot girls, yeah. they'll talk about their milky tits.

i expected to see a hot girl with milky tits after reading this comment, and i didn't see anything of this in the videos that were posted here. the girl looks like a boring, flat chested librarian. if she squinted more often, she would look like a girl who works at my local library. i'm not paying money to see that!
They’re milky in that they’re literally lactating. And I think she’s hot in that girl next door sort of way. If Quiet was a seven, this girl is at least an 8. She’s just not wearing fishnets or whatever
 

toro

Arcane
Vatnik
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
14,031
oh and hot girls, yeah. they'll talk about their milky tits.

i expected to see a hot girl with milky tits after reading this comment, and i didn't see anything of this in the videos that were posted here. the girl looks like a boring, flat chested librarian. if she squinted more often, she would look like a girl who works at my local library. i'm not paying money to see that!
They’re milky in that they’re literally lactating. And I think she’s hot in that girl next door sort of way. If Quiet was a seven, this girl is at least an 8. She’s just not wearing fishnets or whatever

Are u sure?

 

a cut of domestic sheep prime

Guest
It's the bikini and the fact that she's writhing around, looking easy.

Now imagine Quiet in frumpy clothes and glasses talking about her baby. Not much difference.

Quiet also suffered from a tragic case of gook face, so I give the prize to the lactating librarian.
 

Forest Dweller

Smoking Dicks
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
12,196
We Imprison Hideo Kojima In An Interview Room Until He Breaks Down And Admits He’s Just Making Shit Up As He Goes Along
Today 8:00am
SEE MORE:ONION GAMERS NETWORK
qmluqbjfsu569klp8op8.jpg

If you’ve called yourself a gamer in the past 30 years, then you know the name, Hideo Kojima. As the mastermind writer, director, and designer behind the mind-boggling Metal Gear series and the upcoming PS4 exclusive Death Stranding, Kojima is a force to be reckoned with in the video game world, known for his elusive storylines and sprawling mythos. Hot on the heels of the latest six-minute trailer for his new game, we sat down for an interview with the legendary gaming auteur after we chained him to a radiator in a dank basement, locked the door, and refused to let him leave until he admitted one thing: He has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about, he’s just making shit up as he goes along, and he’s essentially a professional fraud.

Onion Gamers Network: Kojima-san, thank you so much for joining us. It’s an honor.

Kojima: Oh God, oh God, oh God. Why won’t you let me leave? Why won’t you let me sleep? What do you want? [Weeping]

OGN: Let’s start by discussing your hotly anticipated work on Death Stranding.Let us just ask you point-blank: Can you give us a straightforward explanation of what this game’s story is?

K: What? Is that all? Well, if you really want to know, I guess...so, Death Stranding is supposed to be a commentary on the ravages of climate change and the way our fragmented society can be destroyed by invisible forces. The protagonist, Sam Porter Bridges (Norman Reedus), uses a fetus-like BB-unit to build connections between—

Unfortunately, at this point, we had to slap Kojima-san across the face to make him focus. After his nose stopped bleeding, we resumed the interview.

OGN: You understand the deal here, right? We’re asking you to provide the simple narrative arc for your game. Or you can just state, for the record, that you made a fun package-delivery video game and then filled it with incoherent references, such as the cetacean stranding, Dirac equations, or climate change, to make it seem more important than it actually was.

K: I worry it would ruin the gaming experience for my fans to elaborate too much on my creative process, but—What is that? Why are you showing me a photograph of my family? Please leave them alone.

OGN: Just answer this: Is there any reason whatsoever that one of the game’s trailers seems to show Bridges time-traveling back to a World War I trench filled with black goo? Or the Schwarzchild radius? Or did it just sound cool to you and, as always, that was enough of an explanation to include it in an 80-hour video game even if it didn’t cohere in any logical way?

K: Well, there’s actually an interesting facet of the mythos that explains why Sam Bridges would be sent back into a trench warfare scenario. As a member of the Corpses Disposal Unit of BRIDGES, he has a part in the “homo ludens” movement. Let me expand on that...

After a few more minutes of this, we had an OGN editorial assistant streamline the interview by cutting off the tip of Kojima’s pinky with pruning shears.

OGN: We can keep playing this game all day, sir.

K: [Weeping] What do you want from me?

OGN: Just admit you don’t know what any of this means! Admit that the Strand and the BB-Unit or whatever the fuck—all your vague conspiracy bullshit—is a bunch of lazy storytelling. Admit that you’re just some game designer who watched James Bond back in the ’80s and decided to cobble together a spy video game called Metal Gear, and now you’re in way, way over your head because of your constant narrative horseshit.

K: [He vomits on himself]

OGN: Who are the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo?

K: [Loud heaving]

OGN: Who are they? Don’t make us ask again.

K: I don’t know, okay? I don’t know! I have no idea what I’m talking about! Everyone in video games just assumes any reference above a third-grade level means that you’re making art. So, once journalists started calling me a visionary, I kept adding more and more of them to Metal Gear—calling the characters Ishmael and Ahab just because it’s from Moby Dick—stuff like that. And now here I am, forced to explain another video game that I don’t even remotely understand.

OGN: Would you say there’s any theme whatsoever to your games?

K: At best, you could say that the theme of my entire lifetime of game-making is that “war is bad” and the “environment is good.” Everything else is nonsense. I suppose another theme would be that it’s cool when government agents are cyborg ninjas or wear golden masks. Also, I like it when your character can urinate on command. There. I admitted it. Are you happy now?

OGN: Not quite. Before we let you go, we’d love to chat with you about the game’s fetus or whatever it is. But we, unfortunately, need to take a break for the next few days. Until then, we left you a tin bucket in the corner for your bathroom needs.

K: Oh God, don’t leave me here. Does anyone hear me? Help me! Help me!

Tune in next week for our follow-up interview where Hideo Kojima talks about the character design in Death Stranding after we blare heavy metal and flash floodlights at him for 36-hours straight to keep him from falling asleep.
 

blrrmmmff

Scholar
Joined
May 2, 2017
Messages
173
I suppose we will find out now that metal gear solid games were good despite Kojima, not because of him. He would have 500 wacky ideas, 20 of which would be used, and then a team of professionals would build a good game + narrative around that. And they would use his name, so future games would sell better (and because he clearly enjoys all the attention and status).

It would also provide more leverage for the team to have more creative control on future iterations if his name was attached to it.

Now he has ultimate control, and the team cannot filter out the 480 terrible wacky ideas and only use 20, they have to use all 500! Maybe that is why they get movie actors in, so Kojima can fame whore with them and be distracted while the team actually tries to salvage something that resembles a good game out of it.
 

Zep Zepo

Titties and Beer
Dumbfuck Repressed Homosexual
Joined
Mar 23, 2013
Messages
5,233
Take that, "RPG Fans" You are responsible for Very Easy Mode in games.

Priceless...

Zep--
 

As an Amazon Associate, rpgcodex.net earns from qualifying purchases.
Back
Top Bottom