Detective CYOA

[EmoBunny]

January 19, 2018:

You haven't slept all night; your head has been too alive, too buzzing with thoughts.
A knock comes at the door. After shoving the cocaine back into the drawer, you answer it.

It's Detective Fitz. "Come on," he says. "There's been a murder. You're our consultant, so get moving."
His brusque manner is rather off-putting.

Do you:

A. Shut the door in his face.

B. Ask why you're being consulted on this.

C. Go with him.

 

[schluberlubs]

B

 

[Gondolin]

D. Offer a line to Detective Fitz then have a nice chat about the case.

 

[oscar]

B

 

[Kz3r0]

B.

 

[Lindblum]

C.
I imagine we will be briefed during the ride, hard-boiled detective style.

 

[Quetzacoatl]

B.

 

[SerratedBiz]

Oh yeah, "Detective Fitz". Where's his badge, huh?

The old follow me here, you're our consultant trick. Next thing you know you're following him to a dark alley and getting mobbed by a machete rape gang.

A. Use your goddamn self-preservation instinct.

 

[Stygian Lurker]

B.

 

[EmoBunny]

"And why are you asking for my help, you haven't been to see me in months?"

"Well that's the thing. If you'll remember, the departments been keeping you here, supporting you financially. Some people are wanting a return on their investment."
He obviously finds it distasteful for the police to pay for your room and board.

"Well nothing's been interesting lately. There hasn't been a single serial killer in over a year. I don't-"

"Well we've decided that we will no longer allow you to choose what you work on based on your own criteria. If you want to continue to have a place to live and keep your *habits* going, than I suggest you start helping us more."

"Why do you even need me for this?"

"Should be a simple case, but there are some who are doubting your abilities at all. We're going to see this as a test. Now get moving."


Do you:

A. Slam the door in his face anyway.

B. Follow him out the door.

 

[Quetzacoatl]

B.

 

[Gondolin]

(B)aby's got a habit to support.

 

[Crooked Bee]

B.

 

[Stygian Lurker]

B

 

[Kz3r0]

B

 

[SerratedBiz]

Oh, threaten *me*, will you?

You not only come to my place, interrupt me in the middle of high time without even a courtesy phone call as a warning, then expect me to follow you to some rookie cop's case just so you can appease some investors? To hell with this; we obviously showed our worth in this city and kept it safe for a whole year, time to pack up and change addresses.

A. Have some goddamn self-respect.

 

[Esquilax]

What kind of a pussy-ass film-noir detective are you guys? Badass film-noir dudes don't get spooked the moment that some little shit comes by pretending he can tell us what to do. This is very unbro of you guys. I say we tell this dude that if he has a problem with us, he can take it up with Mr. .357, then afterwards we go back into our apartment to do a line of blow then call a hooker over.

A

 

[EmoBunny]

You climb into the back of the waiting car, and Fitz gets in next to you. "Take us to the scene," he says as the driver pulls away.

"Where did it happen?" You ask.

"Rural area about an hour outside of town."

Great, now you're stuck in this car for an hour.

"What happened?"

"All the pertinent information will be given to you at the scene," comes the quick reply. Fitz pulls out a thin novel from inside his coat and begins to read.

There's a buzzing in your head that won't go away. You realize it's been over 24 hours since your last cigarette. You get a pack out of your pocket and pull one out. As you begin extracting your custom Zippo lighter from your other pocket, Fitz grabs the waiting cigarette and casually tosses it out the window.
"No smoking in the car."

This day looks to be a very poor one.

Do you:

A. Tell Fitz to shove it and get another out of the pack.

B. Persist in trying to get more information about the case.

C. Try to get some sleep on the drive.

 

[oscar]

C

 

[Kz3r0]

B.

 

[Tzaero]

B.

 

[Sukeban Cho]

Our noir detective is turning to be quite a pussy. We need to fix that A.S.A.P.

Thus, A.

 

[Tzaero]

Get him to pull out another cigarette if he refuses to say anything

 

[Esquilax]

Our noir detective is turning to be quite a pussy. We need to fix that A.S.A.P.

Thus, A.

Fuck, thank you for that. Guy threatens our detective in his home, makes condescending comments about the way he lives his life, and now you want to keep letting this guy's bullshit slide? Unbelievable. Fuck this dude. If he doesn't like cigarettes he can do this shit on his own.

A

 

[Multiple Sarcasm]

A. "No smoking in the car", "No punching me in the face", "No shoving that book up my arse"... Where will this end?