Dominions 4 - Pink Natajara

[Dreaad]

Back in Illdorf

 

[Dayyālu]

(I know, it's kinda difficult to find a proper image of a monkey clapping)

"Can we beg the Mighty Ruler of Illdorf to remove the druggies from our realm? For all their talk of "monkey treachery" they have quite peculiarly thrown everything at us this month, and we have not forgot that they started the war on shaky grounds, devoid of any justification. We will be gracious and not require payment from Tecaburg, bar the restoration of our borders. After all, it's Illdorf's duty now to keep the madmen under control. We can of course pay in gems or items the services of the Illdorfians."

 

[Grimwulf]

and we have not forgot that they started the war on shaky grounds, devoid of any justification

If you monkeys didn't get it yet, we started the war to punish you for betrayal. After all your begging for aid, we agreed to invade Gaelinia. We did the dirty job for you. And to what end? When we started public negotiations for the province of Cracklands, you suddenly forgot that you were asking for our help, and besieged Cracklands yourselves. Without discussing. Without notifying. Fully aware that we are in the process of negotiations for this province. You tried to double-cross me, and this is what you got.

 

[Dreaad]

Ahhh, Jesse, there you are. I trust you're almost finished with my new batch?

.....

By the way before you get back to work I need you to take a message to your master. Tell him his first task is to take on the Obsidian Waste

Spoiler

I hear your warriors enjoy it when someone 'witnesses' them dying.

 

[Grimwulf]

 

[Dayyālu]

If you monkeys didn't get it yet, we started the war to punish you for betrayal. After all your begging for aid, we agreed to invade Gaelinia. We did the dirty job for you. And to what end? When we started public negotiations for the province of Cracklands, you suddenly forgot that you were asking for our help, and besieged Cracklands yourselves. Without discussing. Without notifying. Fully aware that we are in the process of negotiations for this province. You tried to double-cross me, and this is what you got.

"Is that even logical? I don't get it."

"shhh, my Lord....he's saying that when your forces besieged Cracklands we broke some kind of unknown pact, because he started negotiations the same turn we moved in, and you could not predict the future. That's easy."

"That does not make sense either. You mean he wanted us to predict he wanted the province and not attack it? But the freakin' province is on the other side of the drug realm! It does not make any sense! And the Tecaburgians said nothing to us before declaring in public that they wanted it the same turn we besieged it! The order of things does not .... *unnnhhhghh* AND YOU SAY THIS MAKEs SENSE TO YOU?"

Yes, Monkey Lord. But I sniff glue since I was seven, it gives you a greater understanding of the mysteries of the universe and of the mindset of crackheads. A pity I can't do crack or meth, too expensive.

*Suddenly*

I've heard "greater understanding of the mysteries of the universe". Have you at last found a human worth of my time?

 

[Grimwulf]

Dreaad

Progress report. I've sent the Convoy of Doom towards the Thrones, as you rekwested. The shortest route happened to be through monkey lands. Apparently, they didn't like it too much.

Spoiler

During this encounter, all our heroes suddenly decided to be WITNESSED.

Spoiler

Only Corpus Colossus is left from the old team. He is a fearsome man of great strength.

Spoiler

The less experienced ones will catch up soon, since we have no lack of enemies. But for now, the convoy has to make a pit stop in order to regroup. Strangely enough, Calgaya happens to be the perfect spot for this again.

Spoiler

The monkeys might send complains, but let me handle this inconvinience. Finally, I have to inform you that Jesse Pinkman has passed away. After consuming meth that was meant for Chosen Warriors, he desired to be WITNESSED and attacked a monkey army head-on, on his own. We all knew it will happen some day.

That is all for my report.

 

[Dayyālu]

During this encounter, all our heroes suddenly decided to be WITNESSED.

" We do notemploy crude group methods like "witnessing". The correct methods for Enlightenment are meditation, discussion with your peers and the reading of the Ancient's writing. No such things as "witnessing". We are indeed glad that most of the Tecaburgian leadership decided to retire with a good half of our Council of the Magi towards a more comprehesive knowledge of Vacuity."

"The griefing bastards abused the rules of vassallage to cause the maximum damage to us and you are complaining about the proper use of terms? King, this is not the moment to...."

"Be silent, young one. It's the Principles that truly matter. This world is merely a stepping stone in your education!"

LOOK AT TEHHH AMOUNT OF STUFF THIS CRACKA WAS CARRING... OHHHHH YES i DO COCAIIINE NOW YEEEEES

 

[KoolNoodles]

Dreaad Grimwulf

You guys think you're going for that throne right by me? Go right ahead, because Samwise is waiting.

 

[Grimwulf]

Dreaad

Progress report. The Truck of Doom is about to get witness'd.

Spoiler

The formations require some work. I'll handle it. Meanwhile, we finally achieved some understanding with monkeys.

Spoiler

It's simple: they gave up on all fortifications and do their best to avoid our army. And we don't interfere while they take over our your provinces. A fair trade.

Spoiler

ooc:

Seems like I've sent my monthly taxes to somebody else, instead of Illdorf. Never do your turns drunk, men. Whoever received 50gp and 5 earth gems from Tecaburg this turn, I hope you have some dignity to re-send it to Illdorf. Pls. Thanks.

 

[Dreaad]

OOC: Winter wolves look good in a desert! Also that army has a great color palette.

 

[Grimwulf]

These men have their own lucky charm. raw luck!

That's how you know they will survive the attack on Earth Momma.

 

[Dreaad]

Don't forget to play appropriate music while watching the battle.

 

[KoolNoodles]

Thanks in advance for clearing that throne for me(no, really).

 

[Dreaad]

Clearing it for me you mean

Let the hunger throne games begin!

 

[Grimwulf]

Dreaad

Progress report. Seems like your last month's taxes ended up in Gaelinia, because the courier used bad meth from black market. Gaelinia leaders were dignified enough to send the package back. Well, what was left of it anyway.

Spoiler

I will see that this sum is added to the upcoming taxes. Meanwhile, the Truck experienced some problems. Namely, lack of supplies and goddamn summer. Chosen Warriors need meth food, and Winter Wolves need actual winter. I had to improvize, make a quick decision. The obvious solution was to fall back to the monkey lands again, and regroup.

Spoiler

Strangely enough, monkeys were not happy to see us.

Spoiler

I suppose it was to early to think that our grudges were settled. A Kingpin's work is never done.

 

[Dreaad]

Meanwhile in Illdorf a visiting nobleman suffered an "accident".

After the incident, Iron Man decided to install new safety equipment in the machine factory, to stop further 'disease' incidents

Spoiler

used hypodermic needles

In other news, Iron Man now has a Black Steel Kite Shield and Boots of Long Strides for sale. All bids welcome!

 

[Grimwulf]

Black Steel Kite Shield and Boots of Long Strides

If only Chosen Warriors knew how to use equipment.

 

[Malakal]

Yea, only so far you could go with only sacreds. What about your huge E mages tho, didnt use those?

 

[Grimwulf]

Yea, only so far you could go with only sacreds. What about your huge E mages tho, didnt use those?

Did you see the battle report? Just in this stack I have
- E5 x1
- E4 x1
- E3 x1
- E2 x1

Mostly Summon EP + Maws. Have been deploying them since forever. Mm1 without desert survival + the fact that I'm sending all my earth income to Dreaad complicate things atm.

 

[Grimwulf]

Not to mention that ethereal stuff like Shade Beasts is protected against most of earth magic. Maws is still worth it, tho.

Before

After

Numbers

 

[Dayyālu]

Maws is an excellent piece of machinery, and it scales wonderfully. In a stock game, with proper research and Construction the mages of Tecaburg would have ben even scarier. NationGen has iffy balance, it's kinda known and Tecaburg was the strongest nation by far in the initial generation.

I'd hoped to gain something similar from a communioned Shadow Blast casting, but my research got savaged in the last turns for *reasons* and I doubt it would work as well as Maws.

I disagree with Malakal, though: until now there is little that can stop those sacreds with our line-up and it will be so still for quite some time, and with Earth Magic in its place Tecaburg is still a force to be reckoned with even if its lands are now kinda gangbanged.

 

[Grimwulf]

Who needs lands in this game, seriously? Maybe for resources (then again, Tecaburg has res-gen mages, and thus is self-sufficient). Gem income is really minor. Thrones are valuable, but it's nearly impossible to protect them properly.

Losing fort or having it besieged is what causes real damage in this game. Also, dominion candles.

 

[Dayyālu]

Who needs lands in this game, seriously? Maybe for resources (then again, Tecaburg has res-gen mages, and thus is self-sufficient). Gem income is really minor. Thrones are valuable, but it's nearly impossible to protect them properly.

I disagree even with that a bit. Having pretty much an almost 15 D gem income between sites and alchemizing is what leaves me a bit of breathing space, the only reason I need Gold is for mages, and Luck3 events is what gives me gold for the recruiting and the wages, not fortresses. More lands you have=more chances for events, at least in my faulty perception.

(then again, Tecaburg has res-gen mages, and thus is self-sufficient).

For the Pantokrator's sake. I forgot that

 

[Dreaad]

I have a great idea!

Hmmmm, what is it Furydorf?

*Whisper, whisper, whisper whisper!*

Haha! YES! The wastelands could use more drama! Send the letter immediately!



Dear Grimheinsenberg.

You orders remain as before however you must now also accomplish the following task within 3 months. All the mages/cooks (all commanders with points in any path of magic) within your capital must be sent at the nearest level 3 throne and fight with no support from any other troops, to prove their bravery and desire to reach valhalla.

Regards

Your Benevolent and Wise Ruler Iron Man

PS You may not set retreat orders.