Dragon Age: The Stolen Throne: A Mostly Comprehensive Review

[JarlFrank]

Somewhere someone is going to read this, and he's going to think that it's the greatest piece of literature he has ever read. Think about it.

I can't, it hurts my brain.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

http://daforums.bioware.com/viewtopic.h ... &forum=135

Run JF.

 

[TNO]

Ah, good, drama.

My favourite from the BW forums.

No the examples are very poor. I am a writer and I sent my first draft to agents with very positive feedback a little whole ago so I do have some experience of this. Look at these examples:

'Angry red blood' - is not indicating the blood itself is angry but the fact that SHADES of red can connect to varying emotions. Red of a certain shade can easily be very ANGRY. As oppostied to say darker stickier blood? Clearly the blood is fresh and pumping straight out.

'Metallic tasting blood' - I don't recall sucking my finger after accidently cutting it and tasting iron every time.. sometimes it is salty for example. Metallic is a very strong taste - does blood always taste exactly the same? Of course not.

This review makes me very angry - the reviewer is clearly an amateur taking shots at a professional and with very little idea of what he is saying. I refuse to read anymore of it and I suggest people ignore this review because it seems to ve bery unprofessional indeed.

I'm also a writer. I sent my works into an internet forum and got really positive feedback. Don't listen to this reviewer, he's just an amateur. Gaider's a pro, man.

(Also note the typographical errors.)


P.S. Get ready. My DA: TC preview is nearly done...

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

We await it eagerly.

 

[Tails]

Indeed.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

I AM VERY UPSET ABOUT CODEX REVIEWS

I predict this thread will not end well...

that´s that.. especially his childish "is there enough bile in it" questions, about his "review". Bashing is easy, no wonder the guy didn´t even make it to the news section of the site.

..."ID LIKE TO SEE HIM WRITE HIS OWN BOOK!"

At one during the review, I wanted to say to the reviewer 'well, if it's that easy, then why don't you write a book yourself?' I, myself, dabble in writings from time to time; it is not an easy task to do, I can tell you.

...fuuuuuuuu-

This review makes me very angry - the reviewer is clearly an amateur taking shots at a professional and with very little idea of what he is saying

ONLY WRITERS CAN CRITICIZE WRITERS, FFS

JUST LIKE ONLY A COOK CAN TELL IF SOME FOOD TASTES LIKE SHIT

After reading the article, I wanted to email the review writer and tell him just how little he knew about writing because his examples were hardly examples of bad writing at all - but then thought the better of it.

If this happens post the email here plz

 

[Elzair]

Somewhere someone is going to read this, and he's going to think that it's the greatest piece of literature he has ever read. Think about it.

I can't, it hurts my brain.

What hurts your brain? Is it the book itself or my review of it?

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

They know that we know.

 

[bat_boro]

And the "If this is a story within a story then how does she know about that super-secret stuff..." excuse doesn't really work after Titanic won all those Oscars.

LOLOLOLOL



No, really

 

[JarlFrank]

Somewhere someone is going to read this, and he's going to think that it's the greatest piece of literature he has ever read. Think about it.

I can't, it hurts my brain.

What hurts your brain? Is it the book itself or my review of it?

The fact that some people consider it actually good literature.

I enjoy reading pulp sometimes, but then it should at least be interesting or in someway unique. Gaider's book is not only badly written, it also has no creativity whatsoever regarding plot and setting.

 

[Elzair]

What did all of you think about the bile content of this review? Did it contain too much, not enough, or just the right amount of bile?

Any other suggestions for improvement would be welcomed.

I think you could improve if you

1) concern yourself less with whether your handywork contains enough bile to score a nice amount of codex cool points

2) concern yourself less with whether the "right amount of bile" ensures you a honorary place among the *I HAET GAYDAR* circlejerk crowd

3) concern yourself more with assuming an unbiased and objective attitude towards the subject of your review

I'm convinced this advice can help you to improve. Of course these are only general thoughts - I didn't read this book and don't plan to either.

Thank you for the feedback.

The reason I asked about the bile level is that nearly every time I received feedback from DarkUnderlord, he said that the review contained too much bile. Before posting this, I went through the review and removed most of the snarky asides and cheap shots at Gaider. I tried to savage Gaider only when I thought he really deserved it. The original review contains A LOT more bile. I do not know whether I removed too much bile (thereby making the critique too dry and boring), or I did not remove enough (thereby making the whole review sound too much like a juvenile rant).

 

[Elzair]

Ah, good, drama.

My favourite from the BW forums.

I like that comment as well. I will now play a little game called "Grammar Nazi."

No, the examples are very poor. I am a writer, and I sent my first draft to agents with (and received) very positive feedback a little whole (while) ago, so I do have some experience of (with) this. Look at these examples:

'Angry red blood' - (There was no reason for that hypen to be there.) is not indicating the blood itself is angry but the fact (angry; instead it indicates) that SHADES of red can connect to varying (I think he meant "various".) emotions. Red of a certain shade can easily ve bery (be very) ANGRY. As oppostied opposed to say darker stickier blood? (That was not even a sentence! A better one would be the following. "Angry red blood certainly differs from darker and stickier blood.") Clearly the blood is fresh and pumping straight out.

'Metallic tasting blood' - (Why did this guy use so many hyphens? I think he meant to use dashes, but the following is not a parenthetical thought.) I don't recall sucking my finger after accidently (accidentally) cutting it and tasting iron every time.. (Why did he link these two thoughts with an ellipsis?) sometimes it is salty for example. Metallic is a very strong taste - (FFFUUUU....) does blood always taste exactly the same? Of course not.

Well, that is weird! Looking back on all the times I have tasted my own blood, I remember that it always tasted metallic. However, I have only tasted blood when I had either cut my lip or bitten my tongue.

This review makes me very angry - (A hyphen is not a semicolon!) the reviewer is clearly an amateur taking shots at a professional, and with (he has) very little idea of what he is saying. I refuse to read anymore of it, and I suggest people ignore this review because it seems to be very unprofessional indeed.

I'm also a writer. I sent my works into an internet forum and got really positive feedback. Don't listen to this reviewer, he's just an amateur. Gaider's a pro, man.

LOL!

(Also note the typographical errors.)

They have been duly noted!

P.S. Get ready. My DA: TC preview is nearly done...

Will you do a review of the entire novel?

 

[Warden]

Good job.

You may have not gotten a first page here, but you got a spotlight on the bioboards. And that's always fun...

 

[Multiple Sarcasm]

That biothread was a damn fun read. For example, did you know that:
- The Codex hates BioWare because of a past rivalry with Interplay?
- The Codex hates games it hates because they hate those games, specifically, and not the retardation behind them? Out of bitterness, no less.
- The 4chan memes' useage here is genuine and in true spirit of RPGCodex? ololol
- The Codex is EXTREME?
- Viz is Gaider's alt?

Of course, you did.

 

[Elzair]

It appears that the review pissed off some Bioware forum moderator; they have now locked the thread. Well, it was good while it lasted!

 

[Xor]

- The Codex is EXTREME?

I actually agree with that one.

 

[Tycn]

Last time I peeked there it was decidedly full of white nationalist/HBD dumdums

in the general discussion section half the topics were on the order of "BLACKman rapes precious White flower" and "JOOs eat delicious babby."

A refreshing change? I'd tolerate reading "teen girl squeeing" over Skyway's slack-jawed drivel any day. He certainly isn't a standalone example, either.

heh

 

[racofer]

Posting in an epic thread.

 

[Melcar]

They make The Codex sound way more cool than what it actually is.

 

[Multi-headed Cow]

They make The Codex sound way more cool than what it actually is.

It's cool by RPG-specific forum standards.

 

[Lesifoere]

Lol we "closed ourselves off" from what could have been an emotionally engaging experience.

 

[Darth Roxor]

It appears that the review pissed off some Bioware forum moderator; they have now locked the thread. Well, it was good while it lasted!

And now guess who he was - none other than Beerfish.

How predictable.

 

[DarkUnderlord]

The reason I asked about the bile level is that nearly every time I received feedback from DarkUnderlord, he said that the review contained too much bile.

For the record:

Feedback:

• Review tries too hard.
  
• The plot synopsis is just that and can be found all over the net if you're looking for it.
  
• The "Characters? More Like Caricatures!" section was good.
  
• Probably too many quotes in it without much said about what's being quoted other than "WOW IT SUCKS HARD DOESN'T IT".
  
• "WOW IT SUCKS HARD DOESN'T IT" used a lot.
  
• "WOW IT SUCKS HARD DOESN'T IT" == Not very intelligently written.
  
• Bits about the story-within-a-story / frame-story were good.

As it is now, we wouldn't post it.

Tone it down, be less rabid. Explore more the reasons why you feel it sucks rather than saying "WOW IT SUCKS HARD DOESN'T IT" repeatedly.

Maybe spread your quotes out selectively through the piece rather than having a bunch at the end. IE: When you're talking about the characters, you could quote something in there about that character. When talking about them havign sex in the plot section, include a quote there and talk about how much it sucks.

Basically have another shot if you're up for it. Give more reasons why and explain your opinion more with something other than "OH GOD IT SUCKITY SUCK SUCK SUCKITY SUCKS DOESN'T IT? DOESN'T IT??".

It wasn't just the bile, it was bile with the lack of pizazz. Bile is good when done well like VD's Oblivion review. Quoting developers talking about riding around on horseback and killing stuff and then making an intelligent remark about "Well I guess he literally meant running around". The review just felt too much like what was said above. Repeatedly saying "OH GOD THIS SUCKS" and leaving it at that or only barely justifying it with shaky grounds IE. "Blood can't be angry OH GOD WHAT A SHITTY THING TO WRITE" which lacked 'intelligence'.

We did think about posting it along those lines but it does seem like a review that criticizses the book for the sake of being edgy and cool and winning Kodek Kool Kredits, rather than for the sake of reviewing the book.

 

[aries202]

For the record, Bioware's moderators locks thread when they think that other sites, like the rpgcodex, are being bashed (too much).

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

For the record, Bioware's moderators locks thread when they think that other sites, like the rpgcodex, are being bashed (too much).

Riiiiight.