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Editorial Fourteen Reasons to Hate Mass Effect 2

VentilatorOfDoom

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Tags: BioWare; Mass Effect 2

<p>A few months after their <a href="http://www.explicitgamer.com/article.php?p=2744" target="_blank">enthusiastic review of Mass Effect 2</a> Explicit Gamer now discovered that they actually hate the game. Maybe in an attempt to score Kodex Kool Kredits or maybe just to increase their reputation as profeshunal gaming journalists.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Cardboard Teammates</strong><br />It's like that scene from Empire on the Falcon... if Leia had been ritually abused by bikers for the last ten years.<br />This is where no change occurred. Once again, the bulk of your potential squadmates are annoying and predictable. Jack is the worst of the bunch, with her appearance and behavior made all the more painful by the knowledge that some socially stunted design nerd believed she was clearly the 'edgy' character. Tattoos, leather and overt sexuality obviously being the fallback for shock value. We are all impressed. I like to pretend that Jack&rsquo;s character design was really a joke. That the designers thought up the worst, most cliched female bad-ass attributes and threw it in the initial proposal just to be 'wacky'. Then some suit with a pie chart and stock options greenlighted the project, on the condition they keep the 'strong female support character' to give the game some 'color'.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><a href="http://www.explicitgamer.com/article/14-reasons-hate-mass-effect-2/page3" target="_blank">Read the whole thing there.</a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Spotted at: <a href="http://www.gamebanshee.com/news/98199-fourteen-reasons-to-hate-mass-effect-2.html">Gamebanshee</a></p>
 

circ

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WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON MAINSTREAM GAMING MEDIA? YOU FUCKING LOVED THE FUCK OUT OF FUCKING MASS EFFECT 2. DID BIOWARE CALL YOU ALL UP AND TELL YOU TO TAKE BIGGER COCKS DOWN YOUR THROATS?
 

gothfox

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circ said:
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON MAINSTREAM GAMING MEDIA? YOU FUCKING LOVED THE FUCK OUT OF FUCKING MASS EFFECT 2. DID BIOWARE CALL YOU ALL UP AND TELL YOU TO TAKE BIGGER COCKS DOWN YOUR THROATS?

Well, a few months had passed since release so it's okay to shit on ME2 now. I suppose moneyhats from publishers come with a time limit for mandatory praise.
 

Haba

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Codex 2012 MCA Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
1 good reason to read the article:
butt71-285x300.jpg
 

Der_Unbekannte

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and what good reason it is!

What i always miss in these hate lists:
The fucking scar system. It's stupid!
I understand that in Kotor if you do evil things you look evil. I understand it in Fable.
But Mass Effect? what the hell?
Why am I looking like Darth Vader without Helmet just because I play the game like Dirty Harry. Shooting stupid people in the face is not evil, it's a favor to the galaxy.
 

Der_Unbekannte

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commie said:
Scars say 'I'm an evil dude'! Didn't you read what Sid Meier said about the need for the 'bad guys' to look like bad guys so gamers wouldn't be confused?

Unfortunatly not. Time to search it on Google!

I could accept scars, if the consoletard population needs their shepard to look evil/badass. But red glowing eyes? Come on. In ME3 Paragon Shepard will have wings and a halo or what?
 
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Jack is actually supposed to try too hard to be hardcore, since she's all hurt and soft within but pretends to be the strongest bitch there is (despite actually killing people left and right since her childhood, go figure). Hentai game archetype, like the others.
 

TNO

Augur
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Yeah, Jack falls into 'bitter pseudo-psycho but secretly vulnerable if anyone shows her some love' girl. But I still thought that was pretty well done (hilarious promo material notwithstanding). I dunno, I thought the characters were generally one of the best things ME2 had going for it.

Not that I have a review pending on this prestigious magazine on this game myself or anything.... :wink:
 

Phelot

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I really can't stand these sites. This is what always happens, they suck dick then finally realize that the taste isn't all that great.

I wish they'd go fuck off and actually play the fucking game before they "review" it.
 

Der_Unbekannte

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Thanks commie for the link. Kinda interesting to read. Shows how some developers think of their consumers.

@phelot:
But saying the truth never creates traffic. They only change their opinion when most of the gamers do. Only reviews i enjoy these days are the Zero Punctuation reviews. Sure he rants a lot, but he never claims to be objective.
 
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Der_Unbekannte said:
But saying the truth never creates traffic.

Controversial statements do, however. If they happen to be the same thing, cool.

This site is badmouthing ME2! That can't be, it's the second coming of gaming, the grand evolution of rpgs! I MUST see what they are on about.

*enters site*
 

Sceptic

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Clockwork Knight said:
Controversial statements do, however. If they happen to be the same thing, cool.

This site is badmouthing ME2! That can't be, it's the second coming of gaming, the grand evolution of rpgs! I MUST see what they are on about.

*enters site*
If that really were the case then the 'dex servers should've collapsed long ago under the weight of excess traffic. After all there are nothing but controversial statements coming out of here, whether to praise games that nobody else likes (see Alpha Protocol more recently) or to bash the "best games of the decade".
 
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Ah, but unlike gamebanshee and others, we're always negative, therefore we're labeled as loons that shouldn't be given attention (in fact I was just reading a thread about that on some other site. The usual "they're just pissed games arent exactly like they were 20 ears ago" shit)
 

Sceptic

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Clockwork Knight said:
Ah, but unlike gamebanshee and others, we're always negative, therefore we're labeled as loons that shouldn't be given attention (in fact I was just reading a thread about that on some other site. The usual "they're just pissed games arent exactly like they were 20 ears ago" shit)
That false advertisement of the 'dex always amuses me. Especially since many, many new games get praised here after getting bashed in the mainstream media (again, see Alpha Protocol, but also STALKER, and the time they were released TOEE, VtMB, and so on)
 

Der_Unbekannte

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Sceptic said:
That false advertisement of the 'dex always amuses me. Especially since many, many new games get praised here after getting bashed in the mainstream media (again, see Alpha Protocol, but also STALKER, and the time they were released TOEE, VtMB, and so on)

But how many "gamers" who consume the mainstream media, know these games?

So they are right. The Codex flames all games (atleast all they know).
 

Sceptic

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Der_Unbekannte said:
But how many "gamers" who consume the mainstream media, know these games?

So they are right. The Codex flames all games (atleast all they know).
So now it's our fault the "gamers" are ignorant moarans? :obviously:
 

Black

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Clockwork Knight said:
Ah, but unlike gamebanshee and others, we're always negative
Yeah, remember how we all badly thought of Risen?
Or maybe that was before your time.
 

Black

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You mean we liked the first chapter of that mess.
I don't think the game turned into pure hack 'n slash with lizardmen at chapter II already.

the rest of the world
TRANSLATOR-GUY_1140397d.jpg

That's me caring about what mainstream mags full of dumb journalists and console gamers say. (we should make an emoticon out of him by the way) Because that's what you mean by "rest of the world" right?
When the codex isn't being negative, it's being contrarian.
Throw around more empty phrases like "Codex hivemind", this way you might at least be entertaining.
 

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