Turn 4 – 215 BC – Romans
“Hmm”
As the season ends, we draw our option
God dammit. I hate this card.. we get so many. There are much more interesting cards in the game but we haven’t had much luck with them.
Anyways..
Recruitment
Hasdrubal in Spain: 1 Spanish Cav
Mago in Gaul: 1 Gallic Inf
Hannibal in Bruttium: 2 Lat Inf
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The Romans start their campaign season by handing command to Fulvius, who is stationed in Tarentum, then, mid command, raising more troops in Rome.. again. However, this time it is only 1, luckily.
Meanwhile at the camp surrounding Bruttium, Hannibal receives word that Fulvius has begun maneuvers. Although it is impossible to know exactly what he is up to, Hannibal fears he may be planning to take Consentia back.
With this in mind he remembers that crazy bro that was so upset about the cocksucking Spaniard being promoted… what was his name? Well his initials were
HHR. Whatever. He has the man fetched and has a chat with him.
Apparently the sky wizard story really took off. The man treats it as gospel now, and believes that homosexuals should not only be treated fairly, but that everybody has the DUTY, before what he calls ‘Bro in the sky’, to suck the cock.
Hannibal offers the man the chance to spread his faith, and gives him the provisions and horses he needs to reach Apulia with the aim of spreading this nonsense within Fulvius’ camp. It works. A unit of men are so touched by the brilliance of HHR’s words that they turn to Homosexuality. They dissert and follow their new Messiah off to some crazy place that Hannibal rather not think of.
Fulvius, perhaps due to the loss of his men to some strange new cult, or perhaps because it was planned all along, regarrisons his army in Rome.
The Romans now hand off command to Scipio who, as was to be expected, gathers all of the Roman forces in Umbria-Samnium in Corfinium.
He then proceeds to march into Cisalpine Gaul and storm Placentia!
The fighting starts off slow, but the first unit sent to test the scaling of the walls was run off
First Round of Combat
Romans: 0, 0
Carthage: 0, 1
However the Romans storm with all they have soon thereafter
Second Round of Combat
Romans: 4, 0
Carthage: 0, 2
Roman Victory
With that, Scipio goes for the most strategically important target in northern Italy, Genua.
The fighting starts out quite fierce, with many Romans scaling, and falling from the walls
First Round of Combat
Romans: 2, 0
Carthage: 2, 0
Knowing the strategic importance of their city, the Genuans fight hard. Alas they can not hold back the massive horde that is Scipios Army. They do manage to take another unit with them to the grave, however.
Second Round of Combat
Romans: 1, 1
Carthage: 1, 0
Roman Victory
Scipio, foaming at the mouth, orders the taking of all remaining cities of Northern Italy… and succeeds without losing a single. fucking. unit.
It is now up to Mago to keep hold of Gaul, if the Carthaginians wish to retain the Gauls trust
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The Roman navy is no less aggressive and continues with its stupid balanced bullshit
The Roman fleets that were stationed in the Ionean head to Spain and we are given he chance to intercept. We decline and hope they were just here to see what’s going on GUISE…
Well no.. they were here to set our ships on fire. Who would have thought? However the early stages of combat are uneventful
First Round of Combat
Romans: 0, 0
Carthage: 0, 0
The Carthaginian sailors, still mindful of their past defeats consider fleeing but the admiral knows that this would mean leaving the Iberian Sea, and giving fuckhead McGee, aka Gracchus the ability to flee the siege of Emproion by sea. And ‘fuck that’, the admiral tells his sailors. ‘This is still an even fight dumbfucks, win a naval engagement for once!’. A couple sailors begin to cry but dutifully start doing all that weird shit that sailors do when they need to move their ships. Yelling and pointing and pulling ropes and shit, you know.
The Romans once again, try to storm through the Carthaginian fleet but the sobbing sailors were having none of it..
First Round of Combat
Romans: 1, 0
Carthage: 2, 2
Romans are Routed
We managed to sink 2 of their ships and lost only one. The remaining Roman fleet takes refuge in the port of Emporion, essentially becoming part of the Roman forces under siege.
Command is assigned to Gracchus but he’s to busy crying tears of megashit and skips his turn instead of trying to sally out like a real man. Piece of shit.
Livius on the other hand, having been assigned a command and currently under siege in Rhegium, decides to get the hell out of dodge. He and his army board a getaway fleet at night and head up into the Adriatic and land in Umbria-Samnium
He then takes up garrison in Ancona and the Romans end their campaign phase
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Roman Recruitment
Rome: 1 Lat Inf, 1 Rom Inf, 1 Squadron
Genua: 1 Lat Inf
Asculum: 1 Lat Inf
Ancona: 1 Lat Inf
Roman Elections
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Situation
Not sure what to think. It was to be expected that they do some attacking and maybe even take all of northern Italy, but I was hoping for more losses on their part. Genua falling into their hands sucks of course.
On the other hand, southern Italy belongs to us, at least for a turn or so. We also finally won a fleet engagement. Small victory but it helps. I have no idea what happens to the fleets in port if the city is taken. I do know the fleets can try to attack us or slip by though.
Overall I think I made the wrong decision, but time will tell.