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Crispy™ I want to be a Satan - Solium Infernum AAR
- Thread starter Darth Roxor
- Start date
Chapter IX: Heretics! Heretics Everywhere!
Welcome back assembled homosexuals, furries, LIBRULZ and other denizens of Hell. I hope you are ready, for now begins... THE INQUISITION!
Unfortunately, when it comes to turn logs, at this point pretty much only mine are left, and some sporadic ones from Root.
DING DING, TURN 44
Deso sure is stacking up on them legions.
Also,
Someone used an event that excommunicates a random player. Alex was the unfortunate one to draw the shortest straw.
<Alex> I hope my friends see that this accusation is baseless and will vote no!
NO PLACE FOR FRIENDSHIP IN HELL
Also, increasing int.
And moving legion to race Herostratus to Alex's HQ.
In fact, let's try to get a head start in this race.
New stuff on the bazaar:
DING DING, TURN 45
Moving legion
This is our objective.
And Hero is pretty far away
But helping him to be even more far away is a good idea.
Root is arming his Gorgons...
Deso still stacking legions.
This shit feels like early 1914
New legion on the bazaar.
DING DING TURN 46
Root got another legion.
And despite my ritual not working, as well as the distances between me and Herostratus being p. much equal to Alex's HQ:
I will be guaranteed to be first.
New legion.
DING DING, TURN 47
Alex got enough manuscripts to at least go out with a bang and fuck everyone in the arse with a -2 charisma debuff. Except for deso, because his theatre of sloth makes him immune to attribute damage.
The Gorgons were 3 turns away from my stronghold
Fortunately, I had this event in hand to nuke them effortlessly.
The Gorgons have a pitiful loyalty of 2, which means they roll d6+2 against 7. Pretty high chances of getting kicked.
My legion of doom, in the meantime, will secure Alex's dungeon heart. No remorse.
And I'll have to concede to Hero's stupid demand.
DING DING, TURN 48
Wait, what do you mean 'you increased charisma to 2'?
^ Confusion on the gorgons to keep them in place and buy time.
And finally the nuking event.
Meanwhile, Hero managed to draw the 'black ring' event. His main legion got a MASSIVE promotion, and has basically become nigh-unstoppable. Even the gorgons would have trouble with that shit. He is also approaching Root's HQ at blinding speed.
DING DING, TURN 49
Accepting Deso's insult.
Hero is right at Root's threshold.
The Gorgons have been pretty much stopped in place. First time in the game this shit was effective.
However, right here you can see one of the many instances the obscure game mechanics of Solium Infernum have totally fucked me in the arse. I used the Infernal Cabal event to nuke the Gorgons - turns out it had no effect because Root was already x-com'd.
WELL, I WISH THE EVENT WOULD STATE THAT IN ITS DESCRIPTION
Moving main legion to guard the HQ
And the Burning Legion as a meatshield to provide buffer and assistance.
Meanwhile, what does Root have to say about this?
oops?
TURN 50
Wait what
Herostratus had the first move that turn. He could have knocked out Root's HQ without any trouble whatsoever. But he decided to spend his first action on arming his legion with the infernal monster truck, instead of advancing towards certain victory.
This gave Root a free 1st move, in which he used the 'writ of rescindment' event that undid his excommunicated status. A hefty salute and a long round of applause to your incompetence, Herostratus.
Meanwhile,
The meatshield I bid on.
Also, Root didn't pay the Gorgons' upkeep, so they headed back to the bazaar. I was contemplating waiting for a few turns to get resources and secure them for myself, but I realised an opportunity as clear as this might not present itself again.
It was also pretty late at that time and my brian was working on a bit lower rotations.
Launching an offensive ritual at the Pandemonium would have me excommunicated next turn.
Oh hey, and what do you know, the stealer of Temeluchas has revealed himself.
Final standing for turn 50.
Unfortunately, when it comes to turn logs, at this point pretty much only mine are left, and some sporadic ones from Root.
DING DING, TURN 44
Deso sure is stacking up on them legions.
Also,
Someone used an event that excommunicates a random player. Alex was the unfortunate one to draw the shortest straw.
Roxor said:
<Alex> I hope my friends see that this accusation is baseless and will vote no!
NO PLACE FOR FRIENDSHIP IN HELL
Also, increasing int.
And moving legion to race Herostratus to Alex's HQ.
In fact, let's try to get a head start in this race.
New stuff on the bazaar:
DING DING, TURN 45
Roxor said:
Moving legion
This is our objective.
And Hero is pretty far away
But helping him to be even more far away is a good idea.
Root is arming his Gorgons...
Deso still stacking legions.
This shit feels like early 1914
New legion on the bazaar.
DING DING TURN 46
Root got another legion.
And despite my ritual not working, as well as the distances between me and Herostratus being p. much equal to Alex's HQ:
Rox said:
I will be guaranteed to be first.
New legion.
DING DING, TURN 47
Alex got enough manuscripts to at least go out with a bang and fuck everyone in the arse with a -2 charisma debuff. Except for deso, because his theatre of sloth makes him immune to attribute damage.
Roxorowicz said:
The Gorgons were 3 turns away from my stronghold
Fortunately, I had this event in hand to nuke them effortlessly.
The Gorgons have a pitiful loyalty of 2, which means they roll d6+2 against 7. Pretty high chances of getting kicked.
My legion of doom, in the meantime, will secure Alex's dungeon heart. No remorse.
And I'll have to concede to Hero's stupid demand.
DING DING, TURN 48
Wait, what do you mean 'you increased charisma to 2'?
Desperate Roxorowicz said:
^ Confusion on the gorgons to keep them in place and buy time.
And finally the nuking event.
Meanwhile, Hero managed to draw the 'black ring' event. His main legion got a MASSIVE promotion, and has basically become nigh-unstoppable. Even the gorgons would have trouble with that shit. He is also approaching Root's HQ at blinding speed.
DING DING, TURN 49
Rox said:
Accepting Deso's insult.
Hero is right at Root's threshold.
The Gorgons have been pretty much stopped in place. First time in the game this shit was effective.
However, right here you can see one of the many instances the obscure game mechanics of Solium Infernum have totally fucked me in the arse. I used the Infernal Cabal event to nuke the Gorgons - turns out it had no effect because Root was already x-com'd.
WELL, I WISH THE EVENT WOULD STATE THAT IN ITS DESCRIPTION
Moving main legion to guard the HQ
And the Burning Legion as a meatshield to provide buffer and assistance.
Meanwhile, what does Root have to say about this?
Root said:
oops?
TURN 50
Wait what
Herostratus had the first move that turn. He could have knocked out Root's HQ without any trouble whatsoever. But he decided to spend his first action on arming his legion with the infernal monster truck, instead of advancing towards certain victory.
This gave Root a free 1st move, in which he used the 'writ of rescindment' event that undid his excommunicated status. A hefty salute and a long round of applause to your incompetence, Herostratus.
Rootokun said:
Meanwhile,
Roxor said:
The meatshield I bid on.
Also, Root didn't pay the Gorgons' upkeep, so they headed back to the bazaar. I was contemplating waiting for a few turns to get resources and secure them for myself, but I realised an opportunity as clear as this might not present itself again.
It was also pretty late at that time and my brian was working on a bit lower rotations.
Launching an offensive ritual at the Pandemonium would have me excommunicated next turn.
Oh hey, and what do you know, the stealer of Temeluchas has revealed himself.
Final standing for turn 50.
Roxorowski said:
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Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Root will win because he's the kawaiiest archdemon
Chapter X: Scorched Earth
DING DING, TURN 51
I got excommunicated just as Herostratus was about to demand of me. R00fles!
Here's Deso's stack of doom
Setting up defences
March, march, march.
Oh hey, Root's legion has reformed... again. It is a force to be considered, alright.
Also,
Given the excommunication, I can no longer access the bazaar. It is a pretty big inconvenience, but not the biggest one when it comes to x-coms. There's also the problem of never getting regent, and all tribute rolls having a 50% chance to fail.
DING DING, TURN 52
Demonic Premonitions has to be my favourite ritual in the game, btw. Very much completely invalidates cunning-based builds unless they are VERY powergamed.
Hero desperately tries to defend his HQ with a praetor. Not exactly much he can do tho.
Deso is... regrouping?
CHAAARGE!!
Herostratus's main superlegion is way too far to do anything.
DING DING, TURN 53
One tribute roll failed. Another bribe resisted. Also managed to resist 'pain and punishment', which was pretty swell. Pain and Punishment is a very nasty ritual that removes all attachables from your legion. Which means I'd get effectively disarmed if I lost Vassago and the Lance of the Leper Dick. Still prob wouldn't be enough to stop the Norwegian's demise, though.
Also, fucking Hero sent like all his goddamned resources away in emissaries to Deso and Root. Asshole.
The dungeon heart stood no chance.
^ The northern approach
And the southern one.
All things considered, both approaches are very much ass. Going from the south had the benefit of less possible assists for his legions, but it would take much longer to get there. Those chokepoints and mountains are a total bitch to deal with.
DING DING, TURN 54
Faggots still attempting bribes, wololo. Also, 0 tribute. Also 2, gorgons.
Something I haven't realised before beginning the assault was that the Gorgons were sent away to the bazaar with the goddamned ballista on them when Root stopped paying their upkeep. This would prove to be very fatal as I was faced AGAIN with an unstoppable force.
Using last resources to set up premonitions.
And trying to freeze Deso's legions in place.
The Gorgons
And a bunch of other ones.
DING DING, TURN 55
The confusion ritual obviously didn't work because that's just SI for you (the gorgons were rolling d6+2 against my d6+4... yeah) and Root was helping Deso like a bitch for whatever reason.
The Gorgons started their relentless march towards my HQ.
^ this was actually a very bad miscalculation on my part that I blame on the time being around 2 am at the moment, which seriously fucked with my perceptions.
Let's look at the legions:
My legion of doom with Burning Legion support.
Reapers with Temeluchas - in theory they'd die without ever reaching the infernal phase.
The Sisters ofMercy Flame. Unknown combat card, more ranged than me and just barely less melee. And 3487693467346 infernal + an artifact that doubles all infernal damage.
Inconsequential support legion #1
Inconsequential support legion #2
So I would just go ahead and march into them, using the burning legion as support and hope for the best.
But on the other hand, I didn't have much choice because the gorgons would have raped me in like 2-3 turns.
And the effects...
DING DING TURN 56
Were less than satisfactory. But hey at least I got tribute, wololo
The combat card that lowered my melee p much killed me. Without it I could hope to do enough melee damage to kill them outright with the Leper Lance +damage. But alas, I did not do any damage whatsoever, and then got raped in the arse by a massive infernal burst to the face.
Also, I thought I'd be rushing into the reapers, not the sisters, which gave them a lot of additional unforeseen support in stats. It wasn't a very cool thing.
Lol gorgons
Final look on the field after cannons fade.
DING DING TURN 57
I would like to add one more point to that litany of curses above, however. Except for all those, there was one more very major factor that completely fucked me in the arse.
And that was obscure game mechanics. Those pretty much sealed my defeat.
Remember that mass-legion-nuking event that I wanted to use on Root's gorgons but it didn't work because fuck you Darth Roxor? Imagine if I could use it now, if I knew it wouldn't work on Root. He had 5 legions fielded, all with very shitty loyalty scores. It could have very much obliterated his entire fighting force, or at least dispose of enough to make me win that engagement shown above. And that was not the first nor the last time I got buttfucked by this goddamned game, its opaqueness and unwritten rules.
DING DING, TURN 58
HORRIBRU DEFF AND DEFEHT
BUT HEY ALL MY TRIBUTE ROLLS WORKED. R00FLES!
Now my Dungeon Heart is giving Deso 3 prestige turn.
Oh hey, Root is trying to do funky stuff with his op legion. He even assigned the bribed Valefar to it!
Final standings as of this turn. Keep in mind I am actually not there with all my fat prestige.
And new stuff on the bazaar - now that I got kicked out of the game I can access it again as an observer at least.
The Sons of Typhon is another really great legion. Almost as good as the Gorgons.
I got excommunicated just as Herostratus was about to demand of me. R00fles!
Roxor said:
Here's Deso's stack of doom
Setting up defences
March, march, march.
Oh hey, Root's legion has reformed... again. It is a force to be considered, alright.
Also,
Given the excommunication, I can no longer access the bazaar. It is a pretty big inconvenience, but not the biggest one when it comes to x-coms. There's also the problem of never getting regent, and all tribute rolls having a 50% chance to fail.
DING DING, TURN 52
Rox said:
Demonic Premonitions has to be my favourite ritual in the game, btw. Very much completely invalidates cunning-based builds unless they are VERY powergamed.
Hero desperately tries to defend his HQ with a praetor. Not exactly much he can do tho.
Deso is... regrouping?
CHAAARGE!!
Herostratus's main superlegion is way too far to do anything.
DING DING, TURN 53
One tribute roll failed. Another bribe resisted. Also managed to resist 'pain and punishment', which was pretty swell. Pain and Punishment is a very nasty ritual that removes all attachables from your legion. Which means I'd get effectively disarmed if I lost Vassago and the Lance of the Leper Dick. Still prob wouldn't be enough to stop the Norwegian's demise, though.
Also, fucking Hero sent like all his goddamned resources away in emissaries to Deso and Root. Asshole.
The dungeon heart stood no chance.
^ The northern approach
And the southern one.
All things considered, both approaches are very much ass. Going from the south had the benefit of less possible assists for his legions, but it would take much longer to get there. Those chokepoints and mountains are a total bitch to deal with.
DING DING, TURN 54
Faggots still attempting bribes, wololo. Also, 0 tribute. Also 2, gorgons.
Something I haven't realised before beginning the assault was that the Gorgons were sent away to the bazaar with the goddamned ballista on them when Root stopped paying their upkeep. This would prove to be very fatal as I was faced AGAIN with an unstoppable force.
Using last resources to set up premonitions.
And trying to freeze Deso's legions in place.
The Gorgons
And a bunch of other ones.
DING DING, TURN 55
The confusion ritual obviously didn't work because that's just SI for you (the gorgons were rolling d6+2 against my d6+4... yeah) and Root was helping Deso like a bitch for whatever reason.
The Gorgons started their relentless march towards my HQ.
^ this was actually a very bad miscalculation on my part that I blame on the time being around 2 am at the moment, which seriously fucked with my perceptions.
Let's look at the legions:
My legion of doom with Burning Legion support.
Reapers with Temeluchas - in theory they'd die without ever reaching the infernal phase.
The Sisters of
Inconsequential support legion #1
Inconsequential support legion #2
So I would just go ahead and march into them, using the burning legion as support and hope for the best.
But on the other hand, I didn't have much choice because the gorgons would have raped me in like 2-3 turns.
And the effects...
DING DING TURN 56
Were less than satisfactory. But hey at least I got tribute, wololo
The combat card that lowered my melee p much killed me. Without it I could hope to do enough melee damage to kill them outright with the Leper Lance +damage. But alas, I did not do any damage whatsoever, and then got raped in the arse by a massive infernal burst to the face.
Also, I thought I'd be rushing into the reapers, not the sisters, which gave them a lot of additional unforeseen support in stats. It wasn't a very cool thing.
Lol gorgons
Final look on the field after cannons fade.
DING DING TURN 57
57. Gorgons right outside my place. Farewell cruel world.
And ultimately, my failure was the direct result of everyone else's horrible retardation-induced derps. If Alex hadn't nuked cheddar, I wouldn't have to worry about hero. If hero had KO'd root, I wouldn't have to worry about the gorgons, and root wouldn't spam deso with emissaries. If hero wasn't so blind to the fact that deso is a sock puppet, everything would have gone differently as well. Ffs.
I had a part in everything. Twice I destroyed the light and twice I failed. I left ruin behind me when I returned... But I also carried ruin with me
I would like to add one more point to that litany of curses above, however. Except for all those, there was one more very major factor that completely fucked me in the arse.
And that was obscure game mechanics. Those pretty much sealed my defeat.
Remember that mass-legion-nuking event that I wanted to use on Root's gorgons but it didn't work because fuck you Darth Roxor? Imagine if I could use it now, if I knew it wouldn't work on Root. He had 5 legions fielded, all with very shitty loyalty scores. It could have very much obliterated his entire fighting force, or at least dispose of enough to make me win that engagement shown above. And that was not the first nor the last time I got buttfucked by this goddamned game, its opaqueness and unwritten rules.
DING DING, TURN 58
HORRIBRU DEFF AND DEFEHT
BUT HEY ALL MY TRIBUTE ROLLS WORKED. R00FLES!
Now my Dungeon Heart is giving Deso 3 prestige turn.
Oh hey, Root is trying to do funky stuff with his op legion. He even assigned the bribed Valefar to it!
Final standings as of this turn. Keep in mind I am actually not there with all my fat prestige.
And new stuff on the bazaar - now that I got kicked out of the game I can access it again as an observer at least.
The Sons of Typhon is another really great legion. Almost as good as the Gorgons.
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Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
I just hope Root will survive the coming storm and emerge the new Satan.
Tough luck with those gorgons anyway.
Tough luck with those gorgons anyway.
Brotherman Bill
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2009
- Messages
- 6,933
Coxxor suiciding at desos legion and accusing me of incompetence 
Problem with this game is that the opponents aren't rational, you are butthurt-driven. Two people suicide just to bring me down.
Problem with this game is that the opponents aren't rational, you are butthurt-driven. Two people suicide just to bring me down.
Less than two weeks. Started 10th January, ended 22nd.
Coxxor suiciding at desos legion and accusing me of incompetence
There were many different factors and variables associated with my legion suiciding.
There were, however, 0 factors and variables present when you had 1st move and a legion that would kick the shit out of Root's HQ no matter what silly things happened with level rolls.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Shouldn't norwegian demons be in an ice hell?
Brotherman Bill
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2009
- Messages
- 6,933
Coxxor suiciding at desos legion and accusing me of incompetence
There were many different factors and variables associated with my legion suiciding.
There were, however, 0 factors and variables present when you had 1st move and a legion that would kick the shit out of Root's HQ no matter what silly things happened with level rolls.
All those variables barring the d3 were deterministic.
Incidentally the same thing as with roots HQ. In addition to that it was the writ, which was a variable out of the blue.
I dunno man, you sound like you think I somehow owed you to take out root, as if that had even mattered in the end... He wasn't the problem for me exactly.
Chapter XI: Best Laid Schemes of Mice and Men
DING DING, TURN 59
Right. Unfortunately, the final updates of this LP will be a bit... frantic.
As you can see, my turn log is a bit scarce now that I got kicked out of the game (and it gets even better later), and I p. much have no more diaries remaining from anyone, so I'm left a bit blind. But I'll try to do my best to guess and recreate the following events!
Deso's Gorgons are preparing to capture the pillar of skulls.
While root's puny personal guard are chillin' around the Garden of Delights.
Can't see anything else happening in this turn, so
DING DING, TURN 60
The Gorgons didn't cap the pillar, but got disarmed of the ballista.
Which was put on Deso's personal guard.
Also, the sisters of the flame are below the Gorgons, and now Deso is encircling Root with like 3 legions. This could be messy
Also, someone must have got... something off the bazaar 'cause I don't remember this artifact being there. I sure wish I could have it earlier in the game, though.
DING DING, TURN 61
The turn log just got even better.
Also, given how Root got to be regent the second time this turn, it would appear Deso has excommunicated himself, and is about to blow up Root's HQ.
BUT WAIT, WHAT IS THIS?
Further north, Deso's sisters of the flame got blown up by the sudden appearance of an Angelic Host.
The Angelic Host is an event. When used, this superlegion of ultradoom will appear in a random place on the board to nuke a random legion, and will proceed on a killing sprees against other random (closest?) legions. As you can see, given the host's horrendously high stats and mobility (move 5, flying), it is almost unstoppable.
DING DING, TURN 62
where lots of shit I can't quite explain happens.
First, the Gorgons disappeared from the map.
Second, the Angelic Host got closer to Root's HQ...
and it seems Deso's personal guard with the ballista was nuked by... something.
It wasn't the Host, though. From the looks of it, it's somehow managed to actually suicide against Root's HQ, given its lowered hp. How? Don't fucking ask me because I simply don't know. Root must have used some very successful ritual (deceit or destruction to remove the ballista?) or the HQ got a VERY lucky +roll to ranged, or both.
As it is, however, Deso's armada is very much in shreds.
Oh, turns out Deso just didn't pay the Gorgons' upkeep, so they headed back to the bazaar.
DING DING, TURN 63
The Angelic Host has very much slaughtered Root's personal guard, along with the praetor Valefar.
Not much else to be reported, so
HUE HUE, TURN 64
The Angelic Host has ended its killing spree, earning an easy double kill, and returned to heavan.
Meanwhile, Deso is moving his two remaining legions towards Root's dungeon heart. Those are the crimson reapers, which for some reason don't have Temeluchas assigned to them anymore
And the plague bearers, who are very much total ass.
DING DING, TURN 65
The turn log is as exciting as ever.
Uh-oh, Root got the Sons of Typhon.
Powerful in combat, sure, but the 1 movevement speed and the upkeep are a major bitch.
The sons were replaced by this in the bazaar. Not exactly a worthy replacement.
But hey, Deso's personal guard has reformed!
DING DING, TURN 66
ho boy
Root uses summon creature: VI
He bought the Vile Apostates
And his puny personal guard reformed.
New legion on the bazaar.
And the final standing for turn 66. Not like it matters anyway because prestige doesn't do shit for x-com'd people.
So it would appear Deso currently has 2 supershit/1 mediocre legions against root's 1 megashit/1 mediocre/1 HORRIBLERAPELEGION.
I sure am curious what happens next
Right. Unfortunately, the final updates of this LP will be a bit... frantic.
As you can see, my turn log is a bit scarce now that I got kicked out of the game (and it gets even better later), and I p. much have no more diaries remaining from anyone, so I'm left a bit blind. But I'll try to do my best to guess and recreate the following events!
Deso's Gorgons are preparing to capture the pillar of skulls.
While root's puny personal guard are chillin' around the Garden of Delights.
Can't see anything else happening in this turn, so
DING DING, TURN 60
The Gorgons didn't cap the pillar, but got disarmed of the ballista.
Which was put on Deso's personal guard.
Also, the sisters of the flame are below the Gorgons, and now Deso is encircling Root with like 3 legions. This could be messy
Also, someone must have got... something off the bazaar 'cause I don't remember this artifact being there. I sure wish I could have it earlier in the game, though.
DING DING, TURN 61
The turn log just got even better.
Also, given how Root got to be regent the second time this turn, it would appear Deso has excommunicated himself, and is about to blow up Root's HQ.
BUT WAIT, WHAT IS THIS?
Further north, Deso's sisters of the flame got blown up by the sudden appearance of an Angelic Host.
The Angelic Host is an event. When used, this superlegion of ultradoom will appear in a random place on the board to nuke a random legion, and will proceed on a killing sprees against other random (closest?) legions. As you can see, given the host's horrendously high stats and mobility (move 5, flying), it is almost unstoppable.
DING DING, TURN 62
where lots of shit I can't quite explain happens.
First, the Gorgons disappeared from the map.
Second, the Angelic Host got closer to Root's HQ...
and it seems Deso's personal guard with the ballista was nuked by... something.
It wasn't the Host, though. From the looks of it, it's somehow managed to actually suicide against Root's HQ, given its lowered hp. How? Don't fucking ask me because I simply don't know. Root must have used some very successful ritual (deceit or destruction to remove the ballista?) or the HQ got a VERY lucky +roll to ranged, or both.
As it is, however, Deso's armada is very much in shreds.
Oh, turns out Deso just didn't pay the Gorgons' upkeep, so they headed back to the bazaar.
DING DING, TURN 63
The Angelic Host has very much slaughtered Root's personal guard, along with the praetor Valefar.
Not much else to be reported, so
HUE HUE, TURN 64
The Angelic Host has ended its killing spree, earning an easy double kill, and returned to heavan.
Meanwhile, Deso is moving his two remaining legions towards Root's dungeon heart. Those are the crimson reapers, which for some reason don't have Temeluchas assigned to them anymore
And the plague bearers, who are very much total ass.
DING DING, TURN 65
The turn log is as exciting as ever.
Uh-oh, Root got the Sons of Typhon.
Powerful in combat, sure, but the 1 movevement speed and the upkeep are a major bitch.
The sons were replaced by this in the bazaar. Not exactly a worthy replacement.
But hey, Deso's personal guard has reformed!
DING DING, TURN 66
ho boy
Root uses summon creature: VI
He bought the Vile Apostates
And his puny personal guard reformed.
New legion on the bazaar.
And the final standing for turn 66. Not like it matters anyway because prestige doesn't do shit for x-com'd people.
So it would appear Deso currently has 2 supershit/1 mediocre legions against root's 1 megashit/1 mediocre/1 HORRIBLERAPELEGION.
I sure am curious what happens next
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hoverdog
dog that is hovering, Wastelands Interactive
this is awesom! I want to be a devil play it!
Brotherman Bill
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2009
- Messages
- 6,933
It's been finished for a week or two.
hoverdog
dog that is hovering, Wastelands Interactive
Hit me up if anyone's planning on a new one.
Chapter XII: The Throne of Hell
DING DING, TURN 67
Best turn log
The situation on the front looks pretty intredasting. Root assigned Focalor to his vile apostates.
And aided by the puny bodyguards, they will face
Deso's slaves
And the plague bearers with a mysterious combat card
While the crimson reapers head in from the south.
DING DING, TURN 68
mofo stuff happened.
See that fissure? Root must have assumed the reapers would head in north or something and tried to bomb their arses with it. Instead of bombing, you know, the two legions that were stopping him from getting some serious advantage of numbers. Especially since x-com'd folks can't get new legions, it would srsly fuck deso up.
As you can also see, the Vile Apostates have very much vanished from the map, suicided against the Plague Bearers, whose mysterious combat card must have reduced the Apostates infernal stat to rubble, given how they took no damage at all from the combat.
DING DING, TURN 69
Root's chosen fall back to the HQ. If not for those massively fat Sons of Typhon, his situation would look really damn desperate right now.
It still doesn't look good, however.
DING DING, TURN 70
Root bought a newmeatshield legion, the Abyssal Striders.
Meanwhile Deso put his slaves closer to Root's Dungeon Heart.
And a new legion appeared on the bazaar.
DING DING, TURN 71
Root's made a valiant breakthrough with the abyssal striders.
He armed them with the dreaded hellfeuer ballista, but they still almost died in the process, as Deso's slaves had a Mysterious Combat Card (TM) that must have seriously fucked their stats. Although Deso's slaves barely survived as well.
DING DING, TURN 72
Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit.
Using his inherent regently first move, and the Striders' supah high movement speed (3), Root's making a desperate last run towards Deso's stronghold, hoping to bomb the shit out of it with the ballista.
But... can he succeed?
If the Stronghold doesn't get a massive boost to its ranged attribute from level advantage, it is very much fried, however.
Should the striders not nuke the HQ in the ranged phase, they are fucked. And to nuke it, they'd need to do 11 damage during the phase, which means a double from 6. They currently have 8 ranged, the HQ has 1. Level advantage gives +d3 to a random stat. If Deso's stronghold gets as much as +2 to its ranged attribute, root is toast.
DING DING, TURN 73
Well,
It seems Lady Luck was smilin' on Root that day.
The Striders took no damage and claimed the stronghold in a single swift barrage.
Deso's legions have dispersed, banished to the abyss along with their heretic master.
Although Root still got a new meatshield for his stronghold just in case.
And well, to conclude.
HAIL CAESAR, THE ETERNAL LORD OF HELL, WHO HATH VANQUISHED HIS ENEMIES AND REMAINS THE ONLY ARCHFIEND FIT FOR THE DUTY OF SATAN
That fancy hellish screen pops up when the game ends. That screen actually didn't pop up this very game because the conclave still had to draw 2 tokens for it to end, but there was not much point to just process Root's single turns until it did, so I had to borrow from another game
Let us reminisce of the entire cast.
Jaedar the Vile, the first to get booted from the game, nuked by a treacherous infernal affliction by Alex, and then mercykilled by Roxorowicz in turn 41.
Alexoi, Hell's first pacifist, who only wanted everyone to have friendly fun. Excommunicated by the remaining butthurt archfiends and eliminated by Roxorowski in turn 48.
King Herold V, an aspiring contender to the throne who unfortunately couldn't keep his stronghold under guard. Bumrushed by Roxorus in turn 53 (KILLING SPREE).
Roxette, a foul heretic with the highest kill count in hell whose only regret is his opponents were dumb enough to spell his doom (he also fails at math). Outgunned and Outnumbered by Deso in turn 58.
Devil Deso, another foul heretic who survived long enough, but couldn't even blitz a guy with just 1 3/0/0 legion at his disposal. Groriously outmanoeuvred by Root in turn 73.
Caesar, the eternal underdog emerged king. Who the hell expected that.
That's it, thanks for readan, the end...
...or is it?
DING DING, TURN 67
Best turn log
The situation on the front looks pretty intredasting. Root assigned Focalor to his vile apostates.
And aided by the puny bodyguards, they will face
Deso's slaves
And the plague bearers with a mysterious combat card
While the crimson reapers head in from the south.
Root said:
DING DING, TURN 68
mofo stuff happened.
See that fissure? Root must have assumed the reapers would head in north or something and tried to bomb their arses with it. Instead of bombing, you know, the two legions that were stopping him from getting some serious advantage of numbers. Especially since x-com'd folks can't get new legions, it would srsly fuck deso up.
As you can also see, the Vile Apostates have very much vanished from the map, suicided against the Plague Bearers, whose mysterious combat card must have reduced the Apostates infernal stat to rubble, given how they took no damage at all from the combat.
DING DING, TURN 69
Root's chosen fall back to the HQ. If not for those massively fat Sons of Typhon, his situation would look really damn desperate right now.
It still doesn't look good, however.
DING DING, TURN 70
Root bought a new
Meanwhile Deso put his slaves closer to Root's Dungeon Heart.
And a new legion appeared on the bazaar.
DING DING, TURN 71
Root's made a valiant breakthrough with the abyssal striders.
He armed them with the dreaded hellfeuer ballista, but they still almost died in the process, as Deso's slaves had a Mysterious Combat Card (TM) that must have seriously fucked their stats. Although Deso's slaves barely survived as well.
DING DING, TURN 72
Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit.
Using his inherent regently first move, and the Striders' supah high movement speed (3), Root's making a desperate last run towards Deso's stronghold, hoping to bomb the shit out of it with the ballista.
Rootokun said:
But... can he succeed?
If the Stronghold doesn't get a massive boost to its ranged attribute from level advantage, it is very much fried, however.
Should the striders not nuke the HQ in the ranged phase, they are fucked. And to nuke it, they'd need to do 11 damage during the phase, which means a double from 6. They currently have 8 ranged, the HQ has 1. Level advantage gives +d3 to a random stat. If Deso's stronghold gets as much as +2 to its ranged attribute, root is toast.
DING DING, TURN 73
Well,
Rawt said:
It seems Lady Luck was smilin' on Root that day.
The Striders took no damage and claimed the stronghold in a single swift barrage.
Deso's legions have dispersed, banished to the abyss along with their heretic master.
Although Root still got a new meatshield for his stronghold just in case.
And well, to conclude.
HAIL CAESAR, THE ETERNAL LORD OF HELL, WHO HATH VANQUISHED HIS ENEMIES AND REMAINS THE ONLY ARCHFIEND FIT FOR THE DUTY OF SATAN
That fancy hellish screen pops up when the game ends. That screen actually didn't pop up this very game because the conclave still had to draw 2 tokens for it to end, but there was not much point to just process Root's single turns until it did, so I had to borrow from another game
Let us reminisce of the entire cast.
Jaedar the Vile, the first to get booted from the game, nuked by a treacherous infernal affliction by Alex, and then mercykilled by Roxorowicz in turn 41.
Alexoi, Hell's first pacifist, who only wanted everyone to have friendly fun. Excommunicated by the remaining butthurt archfiends and eliminated by Roxorowski in turn 48.
King Herold V, an aspiring contender to the throne who unfortunately couldn't keep his stronghold under guard. Bumrushed by Roxorus in turn 53 (KILLING SPREE).
Roxette, a foul heretic with the highest kill count in hell whose only regret is his opponents were dumb enough to spell his doom (he also fails at math). Outgunned and Outnumbered by Deso in turn 58.
Devil Deso, another foul heretic who survived long enough, but couldn't even blitz a guy with just 1 3/0/0 legion at his disposal. Groriously outmanoeuvred by Root in turn 73.
Caesar, the eternal underdog emerged king. Who the hell expected that.
That's it, thanks for readan, the end...
...or is it?
Last edited:
Well
Kashmir Slippers
Magister
This was awesome. Thank you for posting it.
Congratulations, root!
Congratulations, root!
Occasionally Fatal
Prophet
Good stuff satans.
Now I only have to wonder if I should LP the game that followed.
It was seriously derpy though, especially at the end, and I dunno if even the good kind of derpy
It was seriously derpy though, especially at the end, and I dunno if even the good kind of derpy
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