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Kodex Kommunistic Kolony in Rimworld, Season 1

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Grimwulf, May 10, 2016.

  1. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

    Self-Ejected
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    1: Start work on red base. Maybe instead of walling off the mined out iron vein in grimwulfgaard, add a stone door and keep wood and uranium stored there? Also, instead of the Kremlin, Red Base should be the Grimlin.

    2: Double beds. But mix it up to prevent unproductive fraternising. Kalin sleeps with Lacgirl. Azira sleeps with Hello Friend. Everyone is equally upset. :incline:

    3: 3. Even with double rations, she's adequate at hauling shit. We need every pair of hands for the red base Grimlin.

    4: 2. They don't have anything we need right now. And retaliatory raids will delay the construction of the Grimlin.

    5: 2. If dreaad gets pardonned from Gulag, we can consider her citizenship. But the ghetto kommissar must have someone to lord over.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2016
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  2. SmartCheetah Arbiter

    SmartCheetah
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    Double walls are actually kinda viable, especially when enemies bring their engineers to drill some holes. Gives you more time to prepare (as they'd probably dodge the Grimwulfgrad alltogether.)

    Also, boot is right. You'll need to work on the power source if you don't want to get screwed. I prefer to place cables in the walls, because it's harder to fuck them up (Which would kill your turrets)
    One of the worst thing I've done once was placing cables in the middle of my fortifications. I remember a sole grenade destroying a piece of cable, which turned off all of my automated defences.

    One more room I'm always building in my colonies - arsenal/armory. Holding only armor and weapons in there. Much more easier to find and compare all the crap.
    Show Spoiler
    Armory in my most recent colony:
    [​IMG]
     
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  3. MediantSamuel Prophet Patron

    MediantSamuel
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    Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    Glorious triple update!

    1. 2, maybe the Kolonists will work harder to leave the ghetto sooner.
    2. 1, will hopefully develop a sense of Kommunity. Or, just be awkward and hilarious.
    3. 3, the Kolony does need more potatoes.
    4. 2, more manpower is essential. Try to convert, if possible.
    5. 1, Lacgirl is more man than half the Kolony, perhaps literally.
     
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  4. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

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    Perhaps a 3-way showoff between Azira, Kalin and Lacgirl. Loser lives in ghetto. That'll keep everyone motivaed to perform. And it will demonstrate the fairness of everyone being rewarded according to their contribution.
     
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  5. Reinhardt Arcane

    Reinhardt
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    Nah. Between Lacgirl, Dreaad and hello friend. We need fair fight - she's a girl.
     
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  6. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

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    She's more man than Private Greenbutt


    [edit]

    On the topic of the visitors -- is it possible to lock them in Grimwulfgard forever without negative reputation? We can try to recruit them peacefully, alternately loot them once they starve to death.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2016
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  7. laclongquan Arcane

    laclongquan
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    Searching for my kidnapped sister
    1.1
    2.2
    3.3 You are joking. As the only "vagina" in this place lacgirl got special treatment.
    4.2 Not yet, my preciouses. Not yet.
    5.1 Again, the only "vagina".

    Azira 1
    Kalin 2 Because the chance to live without others driving Kalin crazy is not to be underestimated.
    Dreadd 1 Because living alone make no sense for a spy.
     
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  8. Bliblablubb Arcane

    Bliblablubb
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    I support "Grimlin" as well, because the danish catlord beat me to proposing it myself. :argh:

    Building plan:

    1. Improve the Ghetto, we need more peasants before we build the "Grimlin". Can't have Grimwulf's legacy end up half-finished and abandoned.

    Double beds in barracks?
    1. Yes. With Dreead out of the way, someone else needs to suffer from LacCIS. Go team LacZira! :salute:

    Azira said lacgirl is pregnant. What do we do about it?
    3. Azira's "treatment" got her into that, making it his responsiblity. Be a man and do the right thing! Those worms do look a little like him anyway.
    We should be worried if Greenbutt gets knocked up after his treatment as well tho.

    How should we entertain the tourists?
    2. Leave them be. Not worth the trouble "convincing" them to pay a fee for admiring the KKK's greatness. Filthy freeloaders.
    Alternatively, if possiburu, wall them in and convince them to join. With our upcoming food supply we can feed more mouths.

    Is LacCIS worthy enough to become a citizen of KKK?
    On the one hand she is a useful Kolonist (and someone has to cook for the elite), on the other hand putting a (mostly) womyn in that position makes it look like gender equality in our KKK. Unacceptable!

    2. Nope. She can always visit Azira for treatment and see the hatched worms, no need to citizen her yet.

    Who knows, maybe she will have run off with some pirate lover already before it comes to that...
     
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  9. a bear named spigot Arcane

    a bear named spigot
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    GREAT PLAN FOR THE TRANSFORMATION OF NATURE b/w IT'S NOT GOOD FOR THE MAN TO BE ALONE
     
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  10. Grimwulf Arcane Patron Vatnik

    Grimwulf
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    Triple launchers only have one shot, even though it's triple. That will take out 1-2 turrets tops. Still got 8 more + kolonists.

    Boomrats cannot open doors. +M

    We'll have storages eventually, so it's not a problem. Wood, uranium and some other resources that deteriorate with time should be stored indoors, but they will last for years if stored outside. I mentioned this issue to let komrademen know that I'm aware of it, and will sove in proper time.

    That cave in Grimwulfgrad is nice and all, but reaching it takes a shitload of time due to all the trash and debris scattered across killing ground. Also, it's far away from the future Grimlin.

    Yeah, it's true. But doubling Grimwulfgrad walls right now seems like a waste of time, considering how backwards we are in terms of general development.

    I'll build double walls. Eventually.

    Well, that's the whole point. Our main power station is as close to Grimwulgrad as you can possibly hope. All cables go through walls/doors. We even have batteries inside Grimwulfgrad in case somebody pwns the cables.

    I kno, armory is needed.

    We use it stonecuttery right now for convinience reasons.

    We could wall them up completely, I guess. Would be mighty inconvinient not only for them, but for us as well.

    The main problem here is we don't need the loot. These guys are wearing tattered clothes and sporting shitty handguns that we won't even sell for a good price. We can either let them go for the sake of avoiding war, or we could attack this group hoping to imprison some of them. Prisoners are potential recruits and/or good merchandise.

    No real point in starving them to death. Except lulz, I mean.
     
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  11. Kalin Arcane Zionist Agent

    Kalin
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    Poll 1 - 2. Forget this junk heap, start on dem snazzy houses! I need my private house so I can, uh... Manage security an sheit.

    Poll 2 - 2. No need to double-bunk when there's enough space damn it.

    Poll 3 - 2. Pregnant my ass, probably has an alien growing inside. Banish the tranny!

    Poll 4 - 1. They hate us anyway, and besides: Plebs are needed! Ryan can probably convert them if they survive. If not... Emergency meat.

    Poll 5 - 2. No trannies allowed! Besides, it'd break the sacred Troika.

    As for citizen, obviously! Also, note how lac-tranny tried to weigh in on that. Why haven't I bashed his skull in already?
     
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  12. Usury Arcane

    Usury
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    Acknowledged. :salute: A thousand obsequious apologies gospodin Kommissar.

    Ulminati hit on a good idea there: the Grimlin. I am puzzled about Grimwulf forgetting his warg. Luxuries like food, weapons and electricity are all very well but the people need socialist heroes. Clearly, the number one priority for the Kolony is a marble statue of the warg atop a sarcophagus containing his cryogenically preserved remains. (Unless that psychopath Kalin already ate the corpse.)

    [​IMG]
     
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  13. Grimwulf Arcane Patron Vatnik

    Grimwulf
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    Warg's corpse was burnt to ashes, may his soul find eternal kommunism in Heavan.

    Grimwulf doesn't think about him to avoid PTSD.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2016
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  14. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

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    Grimwulf, prepare your body

    Show Spoiler

    Alpha 14 will be released with the Steam release, on July 15, at 1pm EST.

    The game is not released yet! You can’t get it yet! But it’ll become available on Friday. For info on how Steam keys will be distributed, please see the FAQ.

    For now, here’s a preview! Below the video, you can find a summary of all the changes we’ve made for Alpha 14. Steam up the hype train!

    Change summary:

    Scenario system
    • New scenario system allows you to choose, randomize, and customize special situations to play in. Determine starting situation, your type of community (tribe, colony), permanent map conditions, starting items, animals, health conditions, and traits, and change special rules.
    • Several built-in scenarios, including one matching the classic RimWorld experience, are included.
    • You can randomize new scenarios.
    • You can customize scenarios with a special interface that allows creation of any scenario you like.
    • Scenarios can be uploaded to or grabbed from Steam Workshop with a single click.
    • ScenPart: Permanent version of all map conditions (eclipse, solar flare, etc).
    • ScenPart: Planetkiller scenario part: World is destroyed on X date.
    • ScenPart: Climate cycle which makes the world get warmer and cooler over a period of years. Winter is coming.
    • ScenPart: Disable building a given type of building.
    • ScenPart: Pawns start with health condition.
    • ScenPart: Start with items.
    • ScenPart: Map is scattered with items.
    • ScenPart: Configure arrival method (pods or standing)
    • ScenPart: Starting pawns are all between ages X and Y
    • ScenPart: Pawns explode on death (configurable type and radius)
    • ScenPart: All pawns from source (game start/all) have trait X
    • ScenPart: Starting animal(s)
    • ScenPart: Disallow mining
    • ScenPart: Disallow hunting
    • ScenPart: Disallow taming
    • ScenPart: Disallow growing
    • ScenPart: Disable incident
    • ScenPart: Multiplier for any stat on the game (move speed, mining speed, etc)
    • ScenPart: Disallow building
    Pawn overlapping
    • Pawns can no longer overlap during melee combat (unless they’re really small). No more animal deathstacks! This also creates new tactics around blocking, surrounding, or back-line shooters. We had to write a bunch of AI and blocking code to make this function.
    AI
    • Raiders can now enter “steal” mode if they see enough value. They’ll grab your stuff and carry it off.
    • Kidnapping raiders now work together much better to kidnap. Instead of everyone fleeing at once, some will kidnap while others cover them.
    • AI dressing algorithm is now better at making outfits to withstand cold temperatures. If there is no way to make a survivable outfit, pawns won’t arrive at all. No more raids arriving and keeling over in -60C weather.
    • Predators no longer hunt boomrats and boomalopes.
    • Pawns will be smarter about avoiding traps in various situations.
    New stuff
    • Full Steam Workshop support for mods.
    • You can now play as a tribe in some scenarios.
    • Added torch lamp
    • Added pemmican for low-tech food preservation.
    • Research difficulty is now related to your faction’s tech level. Researching techs above your level is harder. So if you’re a tribe, researching spaceflight will be difficult.
    • Added research (needed for tribes only): complex clothing, electricity
    • Added research (needed for non-tribes only): pemmican
    • Added research: air conditioning, autodoors, gun turrets
    • Added ‘ransom demand’ incident. Can fire after one of your people is kidnapped.
    • Added “killed my X” social thoughts so people dislike their loved ones’ killers
    • Added new class of “minor” mental breaks, which can happen at mood under 40%.
    • Added minor mental break: food binge.
    • Ground fertility is now reported on mouseover.
    • Added moisture pump, which slowly converts wet terrain to dry terrain. Requires power.
    • Hives now pop out glow pods – bug light sources that glow for 20 days (as long as they’re installed) and can be reinstalled or sold.
    • Added traits: creepy breathing, annoying voice. These are socially repellent.
    • Added trait: pyromaniac. Will go on firestarting sprees when stressed, and never puts out fire.
    • Added panther for jungle biome. Because I discovered panthers aren’t real and I need to cope with this somehow.
    • There is now an orange glow to help you identify very hot areas.
    • Added/replaced animals created by the excellent Kay Fedewa:
      • Caribou
      • Cassowary
      • Deer
      • Emu
      • Arctic fox
      • Fennec fox
      • Red fox
      • Gazelle
      • Husky
      • Ibex
      • Lynx
      • Megatherium (prehistoric giant ground sloth)
      • Ostrich
      • Raccoon
      • Rat
      • Turkey
      • Arctic wolf
      • Timber wolf
    Interface
    • Added a row of colonist icons along the top of the screen, with various status info. They can be clicked to select, double-clicked to jump to, or box-selected to multi-select. These icons can be turned off.
    • Trading interface now lets you type in the number you want to trade instead of dragging to the number.
    • Animals tab now has gender and life stage informational columns
    • Animals tab now has a “slaughter” checkbox column to allow easy slaughtering of many animals
    • Animals tab now has checkbox columns for each trainable, to allow easy training of many animals
    • Reworked the right-click menu to be prettier, more readable, more solid, and better handle large lists of options.
    Exploit solutions
    • Traders, visitors, raiders, kidnappers, animals, etc will now escape if surrounded by walls with no way out.
    • Manhunters and insects will attack doors if colonists try to hop in and out of them while getting shots off.
    • Hives must now be tended by insects, so if insects are all instantly killed by a turret wall, the hives will die out.
    • You can no longer avoid the ‘executed prisoner’ mood impact by just shooting or starving the prisoner; pawns will get a “prisoner died innocent” thought. A similar solution applies to the deaths of colonists.
    • Solved various powerleveling exploits. Once colonists have learned a certain (high) amount in a day, they’ll learn at a much-reduced rate until the next day.
    • Flowers are no longer good animal feed (reduced nutrition).
    • Fixed exploit where players would give prisoner to raiders for kidnapping, to make raiders go away without a fight. Solution: Raiders only kidnap colonists.
    Other
    • Updated to Unity 5.
    • World generation is now part of the new game process, instead of being separate.
    • Roofs must now be manually built and torn down by colonists; they do not appear and disappear instantly any more.
    • Reworked AI food selection algorithm to take into account personal mood impacts, rottenness, and other new factors. e.g. Now cannibals will actually seek out cannibal food because they get a mood bonus, while non-cannibals will avoid it.
    • Flow for opening worlds and savegames from old version is now improved; the “warning, old version” dialog comes before you open them instead of after.
    • Deworked mods config menu to have a much nicer selection and ordering interface.
    • Humans can now eat unbutchered corpses (though they really don’t like it).
    • Infestations are easier and grow less exponentially.
    • Infestations only appear deeper underground now.
    • AI now runs away from grenades thrown by their own faction.
    • Tortoises aren’t so deadly any more.
    • Animals no longer do incest.
    • Humans now do incest.
    • Seeds for world gen are now generated from actual words instead of random letter strings.
    • You can now set both minimum and maximum skill on a bill.
    • Beauty trait now has four stages: Staggeringly ugly, ugly, pretty, beautiful.
    • Some backstories now force pawns to have a given trait (e.g. Model->Beautiful)
    • Trade caravans can bring pack dromedaries.
    • Projectiles fired by hunting colonists no longer intercept random targets.
    • Some traders buy and sell furniture now.
    • Gut worms and muscle parasites vanish sooner.
    • Reworked ancient tomb loot generation. Plasteel is sometimes found on pod people. So are components.
    • Nuzzling is now a visualized, recorded social interaction.
    • Various refactorings to make modding easier and code easier to maintain and more flexible. Much more functionality is now implemented as composable ThingComps.
    • Many, many, many other balance changes, gameplay and interface refinements, and bugfixes.
    Tagged and categorized as: Uncategorized| 30 Comments | TrackBack URI
    Steam release on July 15
    Posted June 20th, 2016 by Tynan Sylvester
    I’m stoked to announce that the next version of RimWorld, Alpha 14, will be released on Steam Early Access on July 15, 2016. You can add it to your Steam wish list on the RimWorld Steam page. On Steam, the game will have full Workshop support, for sharing mods and scenarios. It will also support Steam Cloud.

    Non-Steam users will, of course, still be able to access your DRM-free downloads as you always have. They’ll update just as before.

    EDIT: For those asking whether they’ll get a Steam key, please refer to the FAQ answer about this.

    Alpha 14 is a large update, since it’s been several months since Alpha 13 and we’ve had 2-3 developers working continuously. So, it’s got about 5-6 developer-months of effort in it (the original pre-Alpha for the 2013 Kickstarter had about nine developer-months). However, it is also a refinement-oriented update. I could’ve packed more mega-features in addition to the scenario system, but instead chose to focus on fixing a lot of old issues. Veteran players will notice a huge number of subtle improvements at every level, which newcomers should have an even more polished experience.

    I’ve also been reworking the code to try to support modding better. Making it easier to mod the game makes it more fun to mod, which modders like, so they make more and better mods, which players like. I think it’s a powerful and often under-emphasized way of turbocharging a game community. I’m still soliciting requests in this thread: What would make the game easier to mod?

    Being Early Access, we’ll continue to release new alpha versions of RimWorld with new features into the foreseeable future. We’ve already started some new mega-additions for Alpha 15. We can’t squeeze them into Alpha 14 because it’s too late and they’d introduce bugs. But momentum is good and we’re poised to leap forward in the months ahead.

    I’m also going to be doing something unusual, which is trying to actively market the game. I much prefer game development work to marketing work, and so have usually followed the Field of Dreams marketing strategy (“If you build it, they will come.”) But, for something as important as the Steam release, I think it’s worth making some effort to get the word out. Wish me luck! And, if anyone has any ideas for ways to spread the word, I’d be happy to hear them in the comments here, or on the forums.
     
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  15. Grimwulf Arcane Patron Vatnik

    Grimwulf
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    [​IMG]

    I'd rather stick to Alpha 13, coz looking at the changelong I highly doubt old saves will be compatible.

    :hero:
     
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  16. Usury Arcane

    Usury
    Joined:
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    You need a secret police headquarters, of course. Must build (or repurpose) an induction area where all traces of the original inhabitants have been removed and only neo-bolshevism remains, an area where recruits can be beaten into the proper frame of mind: Kalingrad Autonomous Oblast!
     
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  17. Bliblablubb Arcane

    Bliblablubb
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    Mar 1, 2014
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    KKKastle
    That's not an exploit, but a legitimate strategy. :decline:

    Do "invited" people magically escape the gulags before being re-educated? No comrades, they don't.
     
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  18. Ashery Prophet

    Ashery
    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
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    :lol:
    Show Spoiler

    You don't actually have to literally build and deconstruct the wires; just haul the metal and cancel the construction. Bit late on that advice, though, :lol:

    Make two rooms for the workshops. This will give you the flexibility to separate people who don't get along as well as giving you rooms large enough that you'll only need a few tool cabinets and statues to fill in the bonuses for speed, mood (beauty) and mood (space).

    Also, I'm all but certain that uranium doesn't outright decay while sitting outside, but it does take damage from explosions and the like. Wood, however, does decay, and pretty quickly, too.
     
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  19. Kalin Arcane Zionist Agent

    Kalin
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    :shredder:
     
    • Racist Racist x 3
    • Acknowledge this user's Agenda Acknowledge this user's Agenda x 2
    • hopw roewur ne hopw roewur ne x 1
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  20. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
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    Codex 2012
    It's sunday. Update?
     
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  21. MediantSamuel Prophet Patron

    MediantSamuel
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    Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    P. sure Grimwulf said he was away this weekend.
     
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  22. hostergaard Educated

    hostergaard
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    :decline:
     
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  23. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
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    Codex 2012
    Ah yes. Drinking. :salute:
     
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  24. Grimwulf Arcane Patron Vatnik

    Grimwulf
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    Azira's Journal (open)
    The snow is thawing. Moving around will be easier from now on.

    [​IMG]

    Which means that hunting season is open. I know we have plenty of meat and furs, but it's not about survival.

    It's about national security.

    [​IMG]

    I should invite lacgirl to join me. Murdering hostile lifeforms is what pregnant women do. I think.


    [​IMG] It is time for us to leave.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] So, the rumors were true. They have it all: oppression, racism, transsexuals. KKK is a place of... Wait, look at that!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Somebody lives in that house in the middle of nowhere! Look at the snowmen. Although... Nah. There is just no way. This place is even more miserable than KKK. No sane man could ever survive here on his own.

    Later that night.


    [​IMG] *snores in deep sleep*

    [​IMG] Wake up. Wake up!

    [​IMG] *mumbles* Hrm, shake dat mighty booty, Trudy. Yeah. Make the ground tremble. That's it. Lenin would be proud.

    [​IMG] WAKE UP!!

    [​IMG] Hurrr. Whaddya want, you assless excuse of a woman?!

    [​IMG] We have visitors, Grimwulf.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Wh-- TRADERS! *psshhh* Edgelords! This is your Kommissar speaking, respond! Over... *psshhhh* WAKE UP, YOU FUCKERS!! Over.

    [​IMG] Not gonna work.

    [​IMG] They need a certain... encouragement.

    [​IMG] Right!

    [​IMG] WAKE UP, PRIVATE GREENBUTT!!

    [​IMG] *JUMPS, looking around with crazy eyes, moaning and drooling*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] YOU ARE TO GO TO THE COMMS CONSOLE AND ESTABLISH CONTACT WITH ORBITING TRADING SHIP! RIGHT NOW, PRIVATE!!

    [​IMG] Kohhhh

    [​IMG] THE REST OF YOU MAY SLEEP TWO MORE HOURS! GLORY TO KKK!!!

    [​IMG] Fucking Grimwulf.

    [​IMG] Guhurh?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Hormh? HHHRRUUUU *bangs at comms console, dropping loads of saliva on top of it*

    [​IMG] Something's causing interference, Grimwulf. Your... subordinate can't contact the starship.

    [​IMG] His dead brain is interference.

    [​IMG] It's not that. And you have to solve the issue if you ever hope to trade with anybody.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] The fuck do you expect me to do, Sparkles? I have no idea what might be the problem.

    [​IMG] *coughs* I have a theory.

    Technical note (open)
    Ok, so there is no fookin' way that starship doesn't have shit to trade. At this point it was clear that it's some sort of bug. Rollin' further without trading at all would be kommunistic and shit, but basically impossible in the long run. We need traders, men.

    So I've surfed thru forums, trying to find a solution. And what do you know? We couldn't trade, because there is a prisoner in cryo casket.

    [​IMG]
    What the fuck, Rimworld...


    [​IMG] We have a frozen German sleeping in cryo facility, correct?

    [​IMG] Aye, there is a human female stored inside. What of it?

    [​IMG] Even when the body sleeps, the mind does not. Never forget that, Grimwulf. I am sure the German is sending destructive mind waves that interfere with certain frequencies and--

    [​IMG] Can you even hear yourself?

    [​IMG] That reminds me. We wanted to sell that woman, didn't we? *pshhh* PRIVATE!!

    [​IMG] *jumps* HHHRMMRNNNG!

    [​IMG] Bring the Snowqueen to the guest room. And move yer moaning ass faster, damn you! Over.

    [​IMG] B-bovr.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] H-h-hll frrrrnnnd.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] P-p-pprtt Ldh?

    [​IMG] EEK! Let me go, monster!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Hmmmrnnnghh

    [​IMG] I'm not staying here! I will kill myself if I have to, but I will not spend another day in this hell!

    6th of Spring, 5501


    [​IMG] RISE FROM YOUR BEDS, KOMRADES!! FOR THERE IS NO GREATER CRIME THAN SLOTH!

    [​IMG] :x

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Good morning, working class.

    [​IMG] Mornin', Grim.

    [​IMG] Good morning, Kommissar.

    [​IMG] I will piss on your grave every night, Grimwulf. Every. Single. Night.

    [​IMG] You can do whatever you want, Kalin, as long as you're mining granite 10 hours a day. I suggest you start immidiately. Chop-chop.

    A bit later.

    [​IMG] Lacgirl.

    [​IMG] *gulps* Is it time for treatment already?

    [​IMG] Mm? No, it's time to go hunting. Grab your rifle and kill all muffaloes in the area. Can't let them take us into a siege, right?

    [​IMG] ... Muffaloes? Siege?

    [​IMG] Do you have any objections?

    [​IMG] NO, DADDY!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] I'll be a good girl, I promise! Will do everything you say. Just... no more anal candles. :negative:

    [​IMG] That's what I call healthy relationships. You run along now, I'll catch up later. RYAN!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *drooling heavily*

    [​IMG] *crying and struggling*

    [​IMG] Spring. Best time of year. Even here, in such a grim place as KKK, everyone has a romance.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Me and lacgirl. You and Kimmy. Grimwulf and Grimwulfgrad. Kalin and pickaxe. It's all just chemistry and hormones, but isn't it something to live for?

    [​IMG] *snorts*

    [​IMG] Yeah, I prefer alcohol too. *Leaves the building*

    [​IMG] *BREAKS THRU the (open) door* GREENBUTT! CALL DAT STARSHIP, damn you.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *mashes buttons and switches randomly*

    [​IMG] Well? Is it online?

    [​IMG] Hoh?

    [​IMG] I WANT TO KNOW IF THESE COCKSUCKERS CAN HEAR ME OR NOT!

    [​IMG] Yes. We can hear you.

    [​IMG] Aha! Bloodred General Kommicock Grim Monsterballs speaking, leader of Kodex Kommunistic Forces, Mother of Drag-- wait, that last one was out of place. Although...

    [​IMG] Fiberium Traders. Do you want to do business or not?

    [​IMG] Psst, Greenbutt. It's your chance to shine. You are the best negotiator among us!

    [​IMG] Mmmmmmmmnnnggggghhh

    [​IMG] I want you to strip them naked, you hear? Naked. Threaten, bluff, shoot them if needed - I don't care. I want everything they have, and I'm not going to pay shit.

    [​IMG] ... We can still hear you.

    [​IMG] Eavesdropping is a punishable offence here in KKK! But I'll let it slip for a discount. Show me yer merchandise.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Hrmpf. What do you think, private Greenbutt?

    [​IMG] K-K-Kapusta?

    [​IMG] K-K-K indeed. Off with you! I'll consult with the dead.

    [​IMG] So. The beer?

    [​IMG] Incendiary Launcher! Masterwork PDW! :killitwithfire:

    [​IMG] Food and medicine come first, Grimwulf. You should think and care about your people.

    [​IMG] The prices are retarded. Your negotiator is worthless.

    [​IMG] Thanks, Sparkles. Any REAL advice?

    [​IMG] Why don't you start with selling junk?

    [​IMG] What junk? HANDGUNS AIN'T NO JUNK, WOMAN!

    [​IMG] *different voices whispering* Is he talking to himself? I dunno. This whole planet is inhabited by crazies.

    Sometime later.

    [​IMG] That does it.

    Show Spoiler
    Apparently, I somehow forgot to make screenshot of the final deal. WELL THEN.

    We sold:
    - all 3 pistols (won't need them ever);
    - shoddy survival rifle (still have a normal one in case a new colonist arrives);
    - psychic animal pulser (it makes all animals on the map go crazy, including your own. I'd rather sell this thing and buy a husky or two);
    - Kimmy, Doctor (it just happened, ok?)
    For a grand total of 467 silver.

    We bought:
    - 8 beer (is needed);
    - 5 components (hard to get otherwise)
    for a grand total of 84 silver.

    We should have received the beer, components AND 383 silver. But instead we only got 327. Why?

    [​IMG]

    That's why.


    [​IMG] Anything else?

    [​IMG] Nu. Go away, but come back soon.

    [​IMG] *sigh* Dropping the goods near your beacon. Automatic drones will pick up the weapons and slave that you agreed to sell. Have a good day.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] GWA HA HA HA HA, did you see that, private Greenbutt?! AM I GOOD OR WHAT? Sold all that JUNK like an absolute Stalin! Woooooooo

    [​IMG] *shaking in terror and stress*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] What is wrong with you, dammit? Should have listened to lacgirl's double bed idea. Sleeping with Kalin would calm you down.

    Meanwhile.

    [​IMG] *Inhales* You can do it, princess. Shoot to kill. Make daddy proud, so he will never torture you again.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *sneaking* Wait, what? *pssshhhh* Grimwulfgrad, this is Black Hole. There is a group of people approaching. Over.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *psshhhh* Acknowledged, Black Hole. Keep an eye on them, report if they get any ideas.

    [​IMG] They... Oh, Gawd.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Muffaloes allowed them to pass.

    [​IMG] Come again?

    [​IMG] The beasts didn't attack them, didn't even ask their identity! I think... I think one of them even nodded.

    [​IMG] Just how deep does that rabbit hole descent?

    Later that morning.

    [​IMG] Good day to you, hard-working people of KKK. We came here from--

    [​IMG] I know exactly where you came from, you deer.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Pardon me?

    [​IMG] Don't play drama on me, sinister animal. You came to look at Grimwulf? He is standing before you. Or maybe you want to find a weak spot in Grimwulfgrad? You will not.

    [​IMG] I... Just wanted to trade.

    [​IMG] What's your plan, sell us poisoned food? Pathetic. Awright, I'll play along. Show me what you got.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Light machine gun, eh? The quality, though. Goddamit.

    [​IMG] It's difficult to maintain ancient weapons in decent shape.

    [​IMG] Shuddup. I'll take the meds and components. Will pay in frag grenades and some silver.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Now git out of Grimwulfgrad, knave.

    Later that day.

    [​IMG] *bang* Aaaand you're dead.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Lacgirl, are you even aiming?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *weeping, hands shaking* I am, daddy. Honestly.

    [​IMG] You've spent half of the day here, unable to kill a single muffalo. I am worried about your condition, lacgirl.

    [​IMG] NO! No. I'm fine, you'll see! Just need another minute. I like to play with prey and all that, tee... hee... ~?

    [​IMG] No time for games. Hurry it up. Or else.

    [​IMG] *sweating, shooting like crazy, missing all the time* Fuck fuck FUCK FUUUUUCK!!!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] I CAN'T!! *walks away in shame and tears*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    Meanwhile.

    [​IMG] Remind me of the latest voting results, Nelson.

    [​IMG] First of all, we have to improve our dwellings, the so-called Ghetto.

    [​IMG] Why do we even bother? I have Grimlin to build.

    [​IMG] Apart from that, we should take special care of lacgirl. She's pregnant.

    [​IMG] Awww. It will be a cute little conscript. :love:

    [​IMG] Anything else?

    [​IMG] Your double bed idea was rejected.

    [​IMG] Obviously.

    [​IMG] And please don't harm the tourists. You need trading to survive and prosper.

    [​IMG] But muh Iron Curtain!

    [​IMG] You forgot the citizenship, Nelson.

    [​IMG] Ah, yes. That stupid citizenship of yours. Congratulations, it seems like you, Kalin and Azira will be the elite troika ruling over the others.

    [​IMG] Just the way it should be. Now... where do I start?

    [​IMG] Building. If you don't know what to do - build.

    [​IMG] That's a good advice. I'll start with a big-ass warehouse/fridge, so we can store all dat harvest.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    Later that day.


    [​IMG] So that's the way it is, huh? Uncle Kalin does all the sweat work, while lazy drunkard Azira takes another stroll?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] It's a matter of national security, Kalin. You remember what happened last time when a warband of muffaloes attacked Grimwulfgrad?

    [​IMG] You mean that time when we didn't have a single turret? Not even gates?

    [​IMG] Yes.

    [​IMG] I remember it, Azira. I was gored and trampled to near death. Which is nothing compared to your treatment that followed. Yeah, that day is kind of hard to forget.

    [​IMG] I just want to make sure it won't happen again, Kalin. Is it a sin in your book?

    [​IMG] Not at all. You go. Take your time. If you stay there for long enough, I will dig the whole sector myself! How cool is that? YOU GO! YOU LEAVE KALIN TO BREAK HIS FUCKING SPINE DIGGIN' THIS SHIIEETT ON HIS OWN!!!

    [​IMG] *backs away slowly* Have fun! Oh, hello again, lacgirl! Where is your muffalo?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] I can explain, daddy...

    [​IMG] I'm afraid it's too late for words. You need serious surgery, my dear. You need it now.

    [​IMG] I-- I WANT TO KEEP THE BABY!

    [​IMG] Grimwulf won't allow it. You can't work while being pregnant. Although, now that I think of it...

    [​IMG] You think of it, love. And I need to go... urgent pregnancy business. *runs away*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] What's wrong with you?

    [​IMG] SHUDDUP! I AM A WOMAN, NOT A THING!!

    [​IMG] Whaa..?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] THE BABY HUNGERS!

    A bit later.


    [​IMG] Pum-purum-purum. *singing* And then Obama understood... pum-pum...

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] He'll spend his days in Singapore... Man, what's that NOISE from the kitchen? I can hear it through the wall.

    Meanwhile.


    [​IMG] *bang*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] And all of you muffaloes will look up and shout "Save us!"... *bang*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] And I'll look down and whisper "No." *bang*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    Grimwulf's Captain Log (open)
    Not enough power. The turrets only work during the day.

    [​IMG]

    Of course I can flick the switch and add the power from the ghetto station.

    [​IMG]

    But it's better to build additional generators and turbines. We'll need them anyway.

    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] What are you scribbling there, Grim?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *nom nom* Nuthin'.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] I see... Well, that's second muffalo I've brought today. You're welcome. I'll go shoot another one, if you don't mind.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Gotta be careful, Azira. They have deer blood coursin' thru the veins. You know how venguful they are.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] My kommie senses tell me it's safer to stay within KKK walls for now.

    [​IMG] I'll wait a bit inside Grimwulfgrad, but if nothing extraordinary happens, I'll continue hunting. Lacgirl, sweetheart, would you kindly turn on the turrets?

    [​IMG] I am yours to command, daddy.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Ahh, that's better. Come and get your vengeance now, beasts.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Gotta give it to Grimwulf. Here at Grimwulfgrad one can feel truly invulnerable.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] ... Fuck.

    Later that evening.

    [​IMG] *bang* COME AT ME, BEAST!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] COME at... Is it chasing someone else?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] No. It can't be... Dreaad?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *huff huff* Should have listened to my wife. Should have stayed home.

    [​IMG] GET DOWN!

    [​IMG] Wh-- aaaahhhh!!! *jumps away*

    [​IMG] *bang*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] A shot worthy of a legendary sniper.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *points rifle at Dreaad* Back off from my prey.

    [​IMG] *shakes the beard* Back off from my wife!

    [​IMG] Your..? Forget it. Everyone thought you're dead.

    [​IMG] Really? That explains a lot, ха ха... Will you tell them the truth?

    [​IMG] I don't think I should. People have moved on, Dreaad. They learned how to live without you. *mumbles* Didn't take much time or effort...

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Good. Let them think I'm dead. СДОХНУЛ, хахахаха ха. Ха. Works for me. But do me a favour, would ya?

    [​IMG] What's on your mind?

    [​IMG] Tell lacgirl that before I died I lived a long, happy life with another woman. And we were in love with each other. *looks at the snowman, drops a tear* My beloved wife.

    [​IMG] ...

    [​IMG] Right. Marvelous. Good luck, Dreaad - let's try not to see each other ever again.

    Later that night.

    [​IMG] *yawns* Good job on that... construction, Grimwulf. Whatever it is.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] I didn't SELL HER INTO SLAVERY, you slandering scumbag. I released her from captivity for a compensation.

    [​IMG] I see you're in that special mood again. Oh, well. Good night, Grim.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Let me explain you the difference in details, Nelson. First, a slave is a sad creature. Did you see Kimmy's face when the drones took her? She was happy. Second, I could fetch waaaaay more if I sold her as a slave. SHUDDUP, I'm not finished. Third...
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2016
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  25. MediantSamuel Prophet Patron

    MediantSamuel
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2016
    Messages:
    619
    Location:
    Institute of Tchort
    Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    Glorious update. :salute:
     
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