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Completed Let's experience Bioshock Infinite, the Citizen Kane of games [COMPLETED, THE NIGHTMARE IS OVER]

Markman

da Blitz master
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Sthlm, Swe
Serpent in the Staglands Codex USB, 2014 Shadorwun: Hong Kong
The game as a shooter is meh and reeks of cut content. I bet what people liked is the white knight PROTECT TEH ERIZABETHU thing, dem big blu anime eyes give people the feels.
Also looking forward to teh plot twist comment. Keep going. :salute:
 

Elfberserker

Liturgist
Joined
Oct 25, 2013
Messages
1,540
Elizabeth originally was even worse (complete with light sources on her tits, if I'm not mistaken :lol:)

Light bulb tits!? At laest that would have been completly orginal way to light the enviroment...Could have been pretty intresting way to play with light and shadows.
But wasn't there a convorsity that orginally she had just too big titties and some people got butthurt about it?
 

Scroo

Female Quota Staff
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Codex 2014 Codex Year of the Donut Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2
Haha, funny to read as always.

Elizabeth was so annoying, I couldn't stand her. Also she looked creepy and uncanny as hell ^^
 

Baron Dupek

Arcane
Joined
Jul 23, 2013
Messages
1,870,765
Markman
You forgot about people who defend messy plot and story, who can find anything in such chaotic scenario.
 

Lemming42

Arcane
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,038
Location
The Satellite Of Love
TONIGHT'S EPISODE: A DANGEROUS ASSIGNMENT
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She said that about the last one.
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Haha, yeah! I love Les Miserables too! Let's trade Tumblrs, Elizabeth!
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No, sorry, I don't have your Levine-given ability to sense things that I can't see.
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In this world, the Vox have risen, overthrowing the rich. I decided to let the Vox do all the fighting for me and then kill the Vox. Elizabeth, the Vox's biggest fan, didn't care, nor did any nearby Vox soldiers.
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IT'S THE HERO OF KVATCH!
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Fucker's memories are scattered across two equally dull realities now. Apparently in this world, Fucker died while fighting with the Vox. Also, check out that huge poster. I guess when you're having an uprising, there's always time to stop and waste time putting a huge recruitment poster up.
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This world is hilarious.
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Lin got owned, again. They recycle the model from when he was tortured here, leaving you to wonder why Lin is badly beaten while his wife is unscathed. Anyway, Elizabeth (correctly) realizes that this is entirely her stupid fault. Fucker disagrees.
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Close up to show lazy model recycling
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Good questions. Here's another question - who cares. This plot slides deeper into retardation every time mai waifu Elizabeth opens her stupid gaping mouth. I shot all these Vox soldiers, nobody cared.
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What's the moral here? Messing around with space-time is dangerous? Anyway, I think we're meant to feel sympathy for Elizabeth here.
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The Vox are fighting a big airship. After executing all the Vox, Fucker does a spiderman leap onto a rail to board the airship.
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This is really stupid. Basically, you get on a rail, leap onto the airship, rush to the controls and destroy it.
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She blinked and ruined the screenshot. Anyway, Elizabeth (correctly) continues to believe that this is entirely our fault. Fucker can't deal with it. He doesn't have to, because the phone rings! Nice escape!
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Daisy hates us because we died and came back to life, like Jesus.
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She executes Fink. Elizabeth and Fucker piss and shit themselves at this spectacle. I guess murdering thousands of random guards and soldiers is no big deal, but when this guy gets shot it's a major shock.
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She taunts Fucker through the glass. This is so lazily written. If the hero of your cause apparently died, but then returned, wouldn't you be happy? Why is she trying to kill us? Makes about as much sense as everything else in this fucking ass game.
Daisy threatens to kill Fink's kid!!! To avoid getting the game banned in most parts of Europe, Fucker springs into action to save the kid. Guess what, there's a fight on the way.
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Boring.
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Thankyou, Elizabeth, for narrating what is playing out before my eyes.
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This is a fucking joke. This scene might carry a fraction of weight if Fucker wasn't a mass murderer himself. Here's a tip, "Irrational Games" - if you want your protagonist to argue against murder, avoid the gameplay requiring him to murder hundreds of people himself.
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Kid doesn't have facial animations. He's very chilled out during this scene.
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Elizabeth goes through an air vent while Fucker yells at Daisy. Soon, Elizabeth shows up and stabs Daisy to death with scissors. The kid does not give a single solitary fuck.
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Are you kidding me? You're an accessory to hundreds of murders, you CREATED A DIMENSION of pure murder, but stabbing someone with scissors is what pushes you over the edge? Besides, if she was so against killing Daisy, why did she stab her through the fucking heart? Why not stab to wound or something? Either way, there's no escape. I can't turn back, there's invisible walls to the sides of her. We have no choice other than to COMFORT ELIZABETH.
She rushes into the back room of the airship, and is inconsolable. Not even Fucker's masculine hands can comfort her. Soon, she steps out onto the bridge of the airship.
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Yeah. Remind you of anything?
Didn't Final Fantasy IX do this EXACT scene? Like, same haircut and everything?
The difference, of course, is that in FF9 the scene carried the appropriate amount of emotion, whereas here it's just cringe-worthily awful. She gets a new outfit too, this one revealing her cleavage (but remember kids, if you look you're raping Levine's daughter.)
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With thick jets of cum
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This scene is yet another misfired attempt at emotion. If you're keeping track, this is about the 500000th example.
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We crash. I forgot why. I think it was the big mechanical bird thing again.
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The creepy twins are here, jamming on the piano. Elizabeth gets hugely butthurt.
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Music controls the bird. THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE SONGBIRD GET IT RIGHT ISNT THAT CLEVER
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This particular lock takes a suspiciously long time to pick, long enough for Elizabeth to dump a load of boring backstory on us. The bird was her guardian in the tower.
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Lol @ baby Elizabeth, ugly-ass baby. Another boring "TWIST" with Elizabeth and her dumb parents. Still impossible to care. Also, what reality are we in now? We still in the Vox one?
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Oh, so we are. They're hostile now, not that it makes a difference since I was killing them anyway. Why are they hostile, though? Do they have a hivemind connected to Daisy and they all know Elizabeth killed her?
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Look at his fucking hand and his micro-wrist. He flaps it around Cole-Phelps style to identify Interesting[citation needed] Things on this table.
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UNF UNF UNF
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Songbird ruins my intimiate hand-moment with Elizabeth.
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Stop touching my goddamn hands. Also, lol @ the dialogue. "PLEASE DONT LET HIM TAKE ME BACK!!!" Who has such low self respect as to beg someone as lame as Fucker for help?
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The elevator collapses!!! The action-packedness!!!!
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Is it just me or is there a weird low-res driver in there? Scary.
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Another arena with rails. Do you know what that means? Yeah, another HOUR LONG BATTLE. Fuck it.
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The Vox are shooting unarmed people. Neat social commentary!!!!!!!!! The Vox are just as bad as the oppressors!!!!!!! 10/10 citizen kane
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This gate is shit and thinks Elizabeth is her own mother, lol. Lamely, it also has hand recognition so we need her mother's hand to open the gate.
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Here she is. Elizabeth takes time to whine non-stop about her shit mother.
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I tried to claw open, shoot open and vigor-open the fragile glass cage. Nope.
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Elizabeth gets struck with blue lights while Comstock whines.
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Her mother turns into a ghost. Can you see where this is going? I'll give you a clue: combat.
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Yes, it's another arena fight. She can raise endless zombies, who, strangely enough, can use guns and play the exact same animations as regular enemies. How fucking lazy do you have to be to do that.
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No special way to fight her, just shoot her. Bullets hurt ghosts, yeah.
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A crappy boss.
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Does it involve combat?
Actually, we have to find three tears, which will, for some reason, get the ghost to... do what? Open the gate for us?

Had enough for now. This is a really impressive game - in that just when you think it can't get any more dull, it fucking manages it.

tl;dr: combat, combat, cutscene, combat, botched final fantasy 9 homage, combat combat combatcombatcomblarrrrgh
 

Elfberserker

Liturgist
Joined
Oct 25, 2013
Messages
1,540
So...What the hell just happened in the plot?
All I got you rescued some girl and confusing space+dismension travelling in your attempt to escape or save that chinese guy? Where the fuck that rebel thing come from?
What the fuck is going on???

Anyway, I applaud your commitiment to play this confusing pile of shooter..Thingie.
:salute:
 

Scroo

Female Quota Staff
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Too far away from the sea
Codex 2014 Codex Year of the Donut Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2
You'll be through it soon (well kinda), stay strong, this is very amusing and alone seeing the screens and remembering my experience with the game makes me cringe :lol:
 

Lemming42

Arcane
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,038
Location
The Satellite Of Love
I didn't take many screenshots for the first part of this (looking for the tears) because the entire segment was so boring that I actually forgot to take any screenshots in a determined rush to get through it as quickly as possible.

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Can't give much commentary because it's all a blur. Room after room, street after street, trash mob after trash mob all to find 3 gay tears which will inexplicably do something to the ghost.
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Endless combat.
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Streets go on forever. It took me like three sessions to get through this quest because I kept quitting due to a massive onset of ennui.
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Through the space-vaginas we can hear conversations which further muddy the stupid unclear plot.
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These footsteps show us where to go, not that they're necessary as I can summon a huge-ass green arrow pointing me directly towards the objective whenever I want.
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So we get all 3 tears, return to the ghost, and... uh??? She resurrects a zombie army again and we have basically the EXACT SAME BOSS BATTLE we had before?
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Lol @ headshots doing almost nothing to her. The weapons in the game all feel pathetically underpowered and lightweight, even worse than Half Life 2's weapons.
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Elizabeth talks to the ghost (because fighting her and defeating her made her friends with us, just like in DBZ) :desu:and drones on about the boring plot, what little there is of it.
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The siren doesn't understand the plot either. She's probably a shitty casual who can't appreciate art games.
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Thanks for killing my mother's spectre, Fucker. Also lol at the Siren's death inexplicably blowing the gates open. Good thing we never really needed her hand, right?
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Songbird is back, and un-exciting as ever. Fucker wails like a baby.
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We're back in the office, and can leave by opening the door. Pointless.
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Control has been taken away from me for like one full minute at this point as Fucker hyperventilates and glares at the songbird.
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Ejizzabeth saves Fucker from getting his fragile ass pounded by the songbird.
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TAKE ME DOWN TO THE PARADISE CITY OH WONT YOU PLEASE TAKE ME HOME
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I'LL NEVER LET GO JACK
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Elizabeth is whisked away and Fucker stands and screams her name a few times, just to really show how much of a solid-gold retard he is.
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The really funny part about this is that they actually modelled a big house up ahead, but saw fit to use this fog effect to ensure that nobody would ever get to be impressed by it.
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Fucker shows the depths of his intellect.
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Elizabeth is trapped within a Space Vagina. Fucker gives chase.
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Golly Gee, we've entered yet another boring alternate reality. Elizabeth is a tyrant here I guess.
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That's interesting.
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I decided to step into this guy's vision. What will happen? An exciting new game mechanic?
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Haha, of course not, just combat.
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Who's Dr. Pettifag? Kinda late in the game to be throwing new antagonists out?
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Evil Alternate Elizabeth says some propaganda stuff. The map is designed so that you can avoid the fuck-head's gaze and thus avoid being attacked.
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IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME WAY TO REACH HER
Also, who is she screaming to? Does she know Fucker's right outside a tear, or is she just yelling "THEY'RE HURTING ME!" to the people who are hurting her and hoping they have a crisis of conscience?
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Talking about Fucker, presumably. Still enormously butthurt over the airship course change. #airshipgate
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What an intricate control panel! How will we ever know which switch we need to operate the- oh.
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ELIZABETH I'M COMING AT MY MAX SPEED (1MPH) AND SHOOTING EVERYONE I SEE ON THE WAY
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It's Future Elizabeth. The dark effect is stupid because you can run right up to her yet she remains in shadow, and the effect just looks dumb.
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Man, I could not care any less about this.
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Elderly Elizabeth is about 10% hotter than regular monster Pixar-reject uncanny valley Elizabeth.
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Fucker at last reveals his special skill, which he has hidden up until now - he can tell the exact year just by looking at a door.
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Fucker notes that he could go to the control room and shut off The Device which is fucking Elizabeth. How can we find it? Well, thanks to the master level designers working on this game, a huge fuck-off pipe trails across the entire goddamn corridor, leading us straight there!
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This guy surrenders. I didn't shoot him. I hit the switch. He died inexplicably. What the hell.
Also, when you hit the first switch, the doctor guy screams "STOP HIM! BEFORE HE HITS THE OTHER SWITCH!", just making sure you know exactly what to do.
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Elizabeth creates a tear which has a big tornado come towards us.
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Elizabeth and I have tornado immunity. Everyone else is swept away.
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HI MY NAME IS KEN LEVINE AND I LITERALLY CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE SEXUALIZE THIS CHARACTER
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Fucker pulls some thing out of her back. Check out the cool scar.
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Really?
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[F] Breathe
[F] Blink
[F] String words together into a barely-comprehensible sentence and say it to Elizabeth
[F] Process oxygen in your lungs to remain alive
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Oh yeah, forgot to mention, Future Elizabeth gave Fucker a card to take back to 1912 that details how to escape the songbird. It's really high level Sci-Fi! Delivering your past self a message! Never been done before! Brilliant! This really is The Shawshank Redemption of videogames!
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She says she's gonna kill Cumstock. Fucker's like "no wait" and we get this.
This game has an obsession with repeatedly criticizing the player for being a murderer. Uh, yeah, how the hell can I not be when every single asshole in this entire shitty game is trying to kill me for whatever reason. How can I not be a murderer when doors will literally refuse to open until I kill 9999 random mooks in any given room.
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tl;dr: idk anymore, plot is stupid
 

Baron Dupek

Arcane
Joined
Jul 23, 2013
Messages
1,870,765
Try not to lught from the game target (casuals) gaming audience, who take this shit seriously.
Seriously it's like good ol' FO3 days where only argument was "because it's not isometric view!". Just same pointless shit.
I'm trying too hard to write something in this bucket but no vail...
 

Lemming42

Arcane
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,038
Location
The Satellite Of Love
It has to be ending soon.
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How does she know that? Also, lol @ all the enemies I just ran past mystically disappearing. Did the tornado she created tear through every other room too?
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Thanks, loading screen. Also look at that unbelievably low res background picture.
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We really have.
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Fucker tries to stop her, she says she's doing it alone, they agree to go together. They've had this EXACT conversation about three times.
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A villain delivers insane ramblings over an unseen intercom while we do some boring gameplay-stuff! Brilliant! This is only the 500th time this has happened in this game!
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Comstock is about as convincing as a bad Disney villain.
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The boring mechanical dudes arrive in Space Marine style drop pods now. It's like the devs are trying to squeeze in one last dose of retardation and boredom before the finale.
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Wow, that tip would have been nice to have known at the start of the fucking game. Except I did but the game keeps throwing me this message every single time one of these things appears.
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Just like Fucker has the ability to tell the date from doors, Elizabeth has the ability to know exactly where any given vehicle is going.
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Oh, well this is a fun ride. Not awkward at all.
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This is what the devs said after they finished the game, stepped back and saw the horror they had created.
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THAT'S WHAT THE GAME STARTED WITH!!! AMAZING!!! 11/10 MTN DEW SPONSORED THE GODFATHER OF GAMES
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This line is bizarre. Meant to be flirtatious, angry, what? The voice actor just drawls it out like every other line in a desperate attempt to collect his paycheck and get the hell out of there.
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Ah, at last, combat! Just what we needed!
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What is the purpose of these hooks? They never seem to be used for anything other than allowing Fucker to leap onto them. On that note, why don't our enemies have claw-hands like ours?
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Let me explain this, because it's hilarious. Basically, I was on an enemy ship fighting some of the shitty enemies, when the ship with Elizabeth on it started drifting too far away for me to reach. The ship I was on then fell to the side, which is the animation all ships play when you defeat the soldiers on them. Elizabeth started calling out more enemies and more ships were attacking the Elizabeth-ship, but I was stuck on here. Became very quickly obvious that I was supposed to have gone back to my own ship, but now I was stuck on this one. I wasn't even trying to break the game, it's just such a piece of shit that a fuck-up of this scale occurred on its own.
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See? She's over there getting attacked by new enemies and I'm stuck here with no way out.
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Sure looks exciting over there.
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Screenshot doesn't show it, so I'll try to explain. I thought I could get back to my own ship by leaping off the ship I was on and respawning back where I was supposed to be. But, for reasons that are just beyond me, I FELL SIDEWAYS. I stepped off the ship and, instead of falling downwards, I MOVED SIDEWAYS, FLYING SIDEWAYS PAST COMSTOCKS SHIP AND INTO THE ETHER. Eventually, I did respawn but it was back on the buggy ship I jumped from.
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Eventually I was able to reach my own ship by jumping sideways and steering my body so that it crashed into the cabin of the ship. Sweet. Falling was still broken, though, as jumping caused me to fly over my enemies and away into the clouds. The problem was eventually fixed when I died and Elizabeth respawned me safely on my own ship.

I had more fun with that glitch than the entire rest of the game combined.
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We've fought about 5 ships and they've all been very boring battles, so you'd think the game designers would know that enough is enough but no, here's some more.
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Good thing these ships are indestructable.
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3 years later, we arrive at the airship.
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That's convenient! Skylines!
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Elizabeth uses her Comstock-sense to take us to him.
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I have a theory that the model designers modelled everything in the game with their eyes closed. Look at this enemy. Someone thought that was a good idea.
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The drop pods with mechanical dudes inside are blocking the path. Fortunately, there's a huge switch that detaches the pods, causing them to fall. We press it and have to wait about 6 hours while all the pods drop and, of course, ships appear out of nowhere to attack us!!! Exciting!!! Truly the Casablanca of videogames
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If we crouch here (lol at her face), the enemies never reach us. So I just sat here and waited as an army of enemies boarded the ship but never bothered to actually come and attack me. Made even funnier by Elizabeth and Fucker's frantic "OH MY GOD HOW LONG LEFT?!?!?!?! HOW LONG CAN WE HOLD OUT?!?!?!" while casually sitting down.
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Boring Skyline ride, more bullshit
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If you're still awake, congratulations, you deserve some kind of award for staying conscious through all this boring shit.
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God, what the fuck is this? Why are they bringing in new plot points at this point of the game?
Also, they were "draining her"? Like the enemies in Sailor Moon drain people? What?
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Let me guess: "NO FUCKER IM COMING TOO"
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The rolleyes emote just isn't intense enough to convey what I feel here.
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We're in Santa's Grotto!
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Nice, talking about Fucker like he's not even there. Also why is he sponging her hand. What a freak.
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Jesus, who did the animation for this? That isn't how humans move.
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1000 points if you have any clue what he's talking about.
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JUST LOOK AT THE POSES, THE ANIMATION
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I don't even have a choice. Can't move, stuck in this spot. I waited like a full minute before pressing F, and they run out of dialogue after about 10 seconds and just silently grapple without changing facial expressions.
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THAT'S IT! COMSTOCK, I LOVE YOU!
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YEAH, YEAH, TASTE THE WATER, TASTES LIKE SHAME DOESN'T IT
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Comstock is the most fragile human of all time and dies. Eizabeth decides to put a lot of faith in what he said.
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Obviously? We established on the VERY FIRST TEAR we went into that having your memories scattered causes your nose to bleed, we've been though about 50 realities so why is this a shock?
Fucker suggests destroying the Siphon. What's the Siphon?
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YEAH, WHAT'S THE SIPHON. HELLO, I AM THE PERSON PLAYING THIS GAME, WILL YOU BOTH PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME YOUR PLAN
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What a loser, she can't even understand her future-self's card.
Also, yes, that is the entire Comstock scene. It really is that underwhelming, though I'm not sure what I expected.
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Where did the Vox get ships? Why are they attacking me?

Fuck it, we know why, it's because we haven't had a boring battle in at least 10 minutes so we're overdue.
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They're musical notes. C-A-G-E. It's a song to get the songbird to do whatever you want.
So, at no point in her entire life, trapped in a tower with fuck-all to do, did Elizabeth EVER play those notes in that order?
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Yeah, he's got an ace track record for it so sure.
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Hmm, arena, lots of skylines, tears with weapons, endless source of enemies.
Guess what?
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I'm not going to post all the screenshots because they're immensely boring, but rest assured the battle went on for so long that I was prepared to quit the game and come back to it later. This screenshot shows the songbird attacking a zeppelin, it's really dumb. Just forget about this whole scene.
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She runs to the bow of the ship so we can recreate that scene from Titanic.
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WHAT
IS
THE
SIPHON
WHAT IS GOING ON
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It's like watching Fist of the North Star!
Anyway, the explosion of the Siphon (?!?!?!) causes us to crash, lol. Elizabeth saves us with her Fabulous Secret Powers.
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lol songbird got fukkin owned
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Oh, joy, we're in the only place even more boring than Columbia.
When will it end.

tl;dr: the game ends about 50 times but keeps on going
 

Baron Dupek

Arcane
Joined
Jul 23, 2013
Messages
1,870,765
Wonder what twist happen this time. Actually I know that, just want to see it and hopefully found any logic behind it. But after reading this LP I lost hope...
 

Lemming42

Arcane
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,038
Location
The Satellite Of Love
The torment finally comes to an end.
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Forced to go for a boring ride in a shitty cage thingy for a look around Rapture, the shittiest setting ever.
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Thousands of maps... all being re-used at once.
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This looks like some shit 80s new age album cover.
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Look! Fucker's character model is really stupid-looking!
I feel like I'm being enriched by every second this game drags on. True art! It really is the Ben-Hur of videogames.
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Elizabeth talks about destiny. At least that means it was my destiny to waste my goddamn time playing this shit and I can't take the blame for it.
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We arrive in Fucker's past.
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lmao @ the guy in the middle, who modelled that
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Game goes off on a boring speech about REDEMPTION again.
Elizabeth says Comstock is still alive and we have to follow him.
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Back in Fucker's office, it's a baby. It is, apparently, his baby and he has to give it away to one of the creepy twins.
I think I've figured out the TWIST. Fucker is Comstock, right? Stupid.
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UNGHHH META COMMENTARY ON THE RESTRICTIVENESS OF GAMES UNGHHH 12/10 DORITOS/MTN DEW THE CITIZEN GODFATHER OF GAMING
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Say, this looks familiar. Back at the start. Maybe the game's offering me a chance to fix my past mistakes and quit right here so none of this boring shit ever happened.
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Oh, great, a million million boring worlds to trudge through.
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WOULD U KILL HITLER AS A BABY
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Back in Black and White mode, I give baby "Anna" (obviously actually Elizabeth) away to some dork, who I guess is alternate-Fucker. Look at her damn face, she even looks fucked up as a baby. Those accusing eyes.
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ANNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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lmao, her finger gets ripped off when the portal closes. Guess that explains Elizabeth's horrific finger deformity.
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Is it possible to care any less about this story?
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Oh, so it is. We've already been here once. I guess the devs wanted the super-duper epic fun of hopping across multiple worlds but were too lazy to make more than three maps.
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Fucker says we have to kill Comstock before he can... uh...
What did Comstock do? Found Columbia? Whatever.
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At last, ménage à trois.
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Goddamn, this is really dumb.
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Who the hell is that on the far left? I dont think she ever had that haircut or coat.
Hey, wouldn't it be cool if the Elizabeth from the dimension where this game doesn't suck showed up? If such a dimension exists.
f4OLo9K.jpg

This is meant to be high drama but I honestly can't stop laughing.
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I'm being drowned by thousands of Elizabeth clones!!!
The End.
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Studio sure is fittingly named.

What a total goddamn waste of time and money. I got this on sale for like £5 and I still feel ripped off. I could have spent that money on food or something. Or I could have just set fire to the goddamn money and had more fun out of it.
This game is actually short as shit, but it still took me 5 million years to get through it all because playing it for more than, say, 2 hours caused me to enter a comatose state.

THE END
Mini review: Don't even think about this waste of time ever again, it's a completely worthless game. Shitty awful gameplay consists entirely of easy, impossible-to-fail combat which is literally never fun. Story is a mess that shifts gears between trying (and failing) to be really deep and cool and just comes off as pretentious and sub-B-movie bullshit. Setting is horrible, characters are horrible. It looks like most people bought this game just to jerk off to Rule 34 of Elizabeth, and I can't even do that given that she's a hideously ugly semi-human looking modelling disaster.

The game also looks exactly like Dishonored in parts, which is bad for this game because it makes you wish you were playing Dishonored instead. Even if you didn't really like Dishonored, this game will make you beg to play it just because this is so terrible in comparison.

The End, you can leave now, never have to think about this game again
 

Scroo

Female Quota Staff
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Staff Member
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Codex 2014 Codex Year of the Donut Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2
Haha, great, thank you for doing the LP, Lemming42 and actually finishing it. I had some good laughs and I felt pretty much the same about this game, and every time it looked like the game would finally release me it was just a tease and it would STILL drag on and throw me into mindless boring arena shootouts. And then of course THE TWIST™, ohhh SHOCKING!

Well very funny LP :)
 

archaen

Cipher
Patron
Joined
Mar 10, 2014
Messages
633
Lemming does an LP of himself cheese grating all his skin off for 20 hours and rolling in salt and lemon juice. "Well, it was still better than Bioshock Infinite."
 

Baron Dupek

Arcane
Joined
Jul 23, 2013
Messages
1,870,765
5Ł? Man, Should spend on nuXcom with Long War instead of this shit.
Oh wow.
Now I don't want to read that Atlas Shattered, or what's called, without constant, vile flashback of gaming jurnos mess....gosh, this is vietnam of gaming.
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,156
If it makes you feel better, Lemming, Elizabeth suffers horribly in the DLCs. Levine may not like seeing his "daughter" as pornographic material, but he doesn't mind if said character is literally tortured to death, for not to mention her dying hope is that a superior male figure (Bioshock 1's main character) takes care of everything.
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
:bravo:

Never this image has been more appropriate, considering which movie it was taken from.

Now, I suggest you play some decent games for a change, there is no need of new Drogs or prospers arising.
 

pippin

Guest
THE END
Mini review: Don't even think about this waste of time ever again, it's a completely worthless game. Shitty awful gameplay consists entirely of easy, impossible-to-fail combat which is literally never fun. Story is a mess that shifts gears between trying (and failing) to be really deep and cool and just comes off as pretentious and sub-B-movie bullshit. Setting is horrible, characters are horrible. It looks like most people bought this game just to jerk off to Rule 34 of Elizabeth, and I can't even do that given that she's a hideously ugly semi-human looking modelling disaster.

I agree. In the beginning, I was accepting the story as run of the mill steampunky/sci-fi garbage, with a few ok elements (I particularly liked the old soldier who confronts Booker. Would love to see more about him), but when this huge conflict bewteen socialists and aristocrats (vox vs comstock) shit arises and the only lesson booker learns is something like "gee, both sides are bad" I felt insulted. That's the sort of thing only a socially and politically irresponsible person would think, and it's ironic that Levin thinks of himself as the "smart" option when it comes to vidya gamez. Many doritos bags were bought during this game's marketing campaign, I'm sure. I don't understand why so many people were in awe of this game.
 
Unwanted

CyberP

Unwanted
Joined
Aug 2, 2013
Messages
1,711
The Bioshock series should have an honorary place in the hall of infamy on how to NOT do game design. Pitiful, isn't it. Sad thing is Mr.Levine was the lead designer of System Shock 2, a game of fine prestigious craft. Fair enough he wanted to make a dumbed down version of the sci-fi masterpiece Shock 2 to sell to the masses, but this is beyond dumbed down. It's horrifying. There is barely a method to the madness.

Thank you Lemming42, for the half-assed analysis. The game didn't even deserve that, but someone had to do it. :salute:

What the hell has become of the old masters? Do they seriously believe the games they are putting out these days are good? Judging by Levine's offense taking to 'Beth fan-porn on the net, yes, yes they surprisingly do.
How the mighty of the 90's have fallen eh. I still have respect for most, but I take it all to heart.
 
Self-Ejected

supervoid

Self-Ejected
Joined
Oct 9, 2014
Messages
1,076
Thanks of playing this before I wasted my time on it. I almost torrented got it because of all positive reviews on internets. You can not trust anyone nowadays. And this is shooter? I had missed this info before and was sure that it is classified as action-adventure-something because everybody was talking mainly about plot twist.
 

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