Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 8 Jerzy the Not So Sceptical Anymore (Actually Not Sceptical At All, Not Even A Bit...Nope. Also Duke of Mazovia) - That's his whole title now.
"...And then our Duke was accepted back in catholic church after standing for three days naked before the gates of Rome, whipping himself till he bleed and screaming "EEP! EEP! EEP!"
We have bit of a problem now. Our realm stability is at -3, we are at huge debt again AND we are rivals with one of our vassals (count of Chełmińskie). Jerzy is too awful to deal with this fast and I don't think we will be able to recover from this situation during his rule (even though he's still young). So, we are going to sit the fuck down until we regain some stability. It will probably take couple decades so let's press start and see what happens (I will inform you only about most important events).
That's... nice!
That's important event. We have third son, and his name blown my fucking mind.
Pope asked us to grant bishop place in our court and he gave us sceptical dude. He's fucking trolling us. Also, our mom (Sibyl de Montgomery) decided to leave sinking ship and run away to county of Vladimir Volynsky.
Tutons started to be teutons. We decided to "bear the grudge" and we gained 'hostile' trait (-1 diplomacy +1 martial).
Holy crap, that's going very fast, especially since we got only one "u broke, spend shit to mantain stability" event and this time our spending actually worked.
One of our swedish pets finished education (our wife must have brought whole fucking court with her) and she have level 4 diplomatic education. Making her our chancellor allowed us to gain loyalty with with rebellious vassall who is our rival.
What the fuck?
I hope this "SPQR" is just for show because republics in this game are broken as hell.
Our vassal, Count of Chełm declared war on egypt again. I told Egyptian Sultan that I don't know this guy and he can do with him whatever he wants. CHEŁMINSKIE IS ON THE MARCH! EGYPT BEWARE.
Chełm joined up with Poznan and they are going to fuck up whole middle east!
Oh, our heir died. Fortunately we have two more sons.
Holy shit, Countess of Opole captured Jerusalem.
We have quite a lot of piety so we can spend some of it to improve our stability. Pushing church "a little" gives us only 50% chance of improving stability but option that ensures stability improvement also have a chance of giving you 'sceptical' trait. And we don't want it anymore. Fortunately, pushing church a little worked and now we have 0 stability.
We payed homage to our new king. He suck even more than we do.
... Our bishop comitted suicide.
Our court looney decided to leave to... Transylvania. Fitting.
Our new bishop is depressed... Also, our financial situation become stable. We can now start long process of rebuilding our infrastructure. I'm very, very surprised we managed to recover so fast.
Some time passed and few things happend. We gained more stability (we are at +1 now), we were forced by our liege to join crusade (and he took most of our soldiers so we can't wage any war), Poles got kicked out of Jerusalem by turks and our Duke gained some intrigue skill so we revoked bishopric of Galindia.
Are you a wizard?
It turned out she is a wizard. We had to burn her and we gained trait 'zelous'.
Now we are getting all kinds of good events.
Well, some bad things also happens. Our 5 years old courtier commited suicide.
Our reputations is great and our son could use some land so this is this is perfect moment to kill few pagans. Unfortunately our liege took most of our troops with him on a crusade...
We will have to use our vassals. But we should be fine if we do this fast enough.
Our regiments are all over the place so we will have to join up in Sambia.
We order Sędzimir to attack Zemgallians with 3 thousand man while rest of our force gathers in Sambia. Sędzimir (I think he's sonf of our bro) is completely worthless at combat so he may have some problems.
He won, but lost 622 men.
Our liege accepted Zemgallians peace offer and we had to re-DoW them.
We captured Zemgalia and it costed us only around 50 prestige (because DoW during truce) and now our son have some land of his own (county of scalovia, because this was worst shithole we had).
God no longer hates us!
And Zemgalia converted!
We can make another quick war and gain more land. I decided to declare war on chiefdom of Aukshayts. Unfortunately they have small castle so sieging it takes a lot of time without shitton of troops. Before we managed to capture it our fucktarted king accepted 3 peace proposals and we blowed away 300 prestige for no fucking reason. Fucker is going to pay, dearly.
YOU... Silly, silly king!
On the other hand, come on, we were ridiculously lucky in this update. I can get over loosing all this prestige because all my vassals suddenly decided that I'm best person ever and they all love me. I prepared for DECADES of reganing stability, but no, game decided to spam me with good events and we managed to get our shit together very quickly... And we burned a witch!
"...And then our Duke was accepted back in catholic church after standing for three days naked before the gates of Rome, whipping himself till he bleed and screaming "EEP! EEP! EEP!"
We have bit of a problem now. Our realm stability is at -3, we are at huge debt again AND we are rivals with one of our vassals (count of Chełmińskie). Jerzy is too awful to deal with this fast and I don't think we will be able to recover from this situation during his rule (even though he's still young). So, we are going to sit the fuck down until we regain some stability. It will probably take couple decades so let's press start and see what happens (I will inform you only about most important events).
That's... nice!
That's important event. We have third son, and his name blown my fucking mind.
Pope asked us to grant bishop place in our court and he gave us sceptical dude. He's fucking trolling us. Also, our mom (Sibyl de Montgomery) decided to leave sinking ship and run away to county of Vladimir Volynsky.
Tutons started to be teutons. We decided to "bear the grudge" and we gained 'hostile' trait (-1 diplomacy +1 martial).
Holy crap, that's going very fast, especially since we got only one "u broke, spend shit to mantain stability" event and this time our spending actually worked.
One of our swedish pets finished education (our wife must have brought whole fucking court with her) and she have level 4 diplomatic education. Making her our chancellor allowed us to gain loyalty with with rebellious vassall who is our rival.
What the fuck?
I hope this "SPQR" is just for show because republics in this game are broken as hell.
Our vassal, Count of Chełm declared war on egypt again. I told Egyptian Sultan that I don't know this guy and he can do with him whatever he wants. CHEŁMINSKIE IS ON THE MARCH! EGYPT BEWARE.
Chełm joined up with Poznan and they are going to fuck up whole middle east!
Oh, our heir died. Fortunately we have two more sons.
Holy shit, Countess of Opole captured Jerusalem.
We have quite a lot of piety so we can spend some of it to improve our stability. Pushing church "a little" gives us only 50% chance of improving stability but option that ensures stability improvement also have a chance of giving you 'sceptical' trait. And we don't want it anymore. Fortunately, pushing church a little worked and now we have 0 stability.
We payed homage to our new king. He suck even more than we do.
... Our bishop comitted suicide.
Our court looney decided to leave to... Transylvania. Fitting.
Our new bishop is depressed... Also, our financial situation become stable. We can now start long process of rebuilding our infrastructure. I'm very, very surprised we managed to recover so fast.
Some time passed and few things happend. We gained more stability (we are at +1 now), we were forced by our liege to join crusade (and he took most of our soldiers so we can't wage any war), Poles got kicked out of Jerusalem by turks and our Duke gained some intrigue skill so we revoked bishopric of Galindia.
Are you a wizard?
It turned out she is a wizard. We had to burn her and we gained trait 'zelous'.
Now we are getting all kinds of good events.
Well, some bad things also happens. Our 5 years old courtier commited suicide.
Our reputations is great and our son could use some land so this is this is perfect moment to kill few pagans. Unfortunately our liege took most of our troops with him on a crusade...
We will have to use our vassals. But we should be fine if we do this fast enough.
Our regiments are all over the place so we will have to join up in Sambia.
We order Sędzimir to attack Zemgallians with 3 thousand man while rest of our force gathers in Sambia. Sędzimir (I think he's sonf of our bro) is completely worthless at combat so he may have some problems.
He won, but lost 622 men.
Our liege accepted Zemgallians peace offer and we had to re-DoW them.
We captured Zemgalia and it costed us only around 50 prestige (because DoW during truce) and now our son have some land of his own (county of scalovia, because this was worst shithole we had).
God no longer hates us!
And Zemgalia converted!
We can make another quick war and gain more land. I decided to declare war on chiefdom of Aukshayts. Unfortunately they have small castle so sieging it takes a lot of time without shitton of troops. Before we managed to capture it our fucktarted king accepted 3 peace proposals and we blowed away 300 prestige for no fucking reason. Fucker is going to pay, dearly.
YOU... Silly, silly king!
On the other hand, come on, we were ridiculously lucky in this update. I can get over loosing all this prestige because all my vassals suddenly decided that I'm best person ever and they all love me. I prepared for DECADES of reganing stability, but no, game decided to spam me with good events and we managed to get our shit together very quickly... And we burned a witch!