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Completed Let's Play Crusader Kings Deus Vult (God wills it!)

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Ivar the Boner, May 20, 2013.

  1. Storyfag Arcane

    Storyfag
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    T-2
     
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  2. Storyfag Arcane

    Storyfag
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    T-1
     
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  3. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
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    But saddest part is that Piskla never found Holy Grail. Ok that's enough bumps so I will shut up now. Thanks for help Storyfag!
     
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  4. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
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    Update 30 Ziemowit Piast - Recovering after all this "Restoration" Piskla was busy doing.

    Show Spoiler


    [​IMG]

    And we are now son of Piskla - Ziemowit. We are only 10 years old but our skills are already better than our father's. Unfortunately all counties we directly control are in 'revolt' state so our income is still crap and it will be quite hard to get rid of revolts when our stability is at -3 but we shall try. Also I'm not afraid of Ziemowit going batshit because Piskla got 'schzophrenia' from random event and not because there is something dodgy about our genepool. Oh, and we will have to live with 'church supremacy' law for some time because I don't want to change our laws while our vassals loyalty is low.

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    I tried to re-vassalise countess of Velikiye Luki but it's not working since even though she's sister of Piskla, she's also Italian.

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    Then we formed alliance with Hungary. They are very weak but weak ally is better than nothing, right?

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    Count of Savolaks declared independence. We went with "he shall pay" even though we are not going to do anything about it. We did this for prestige this option gives you (and Vengeful trait).

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    Goddamn DVIP balancing events. I thought they fire up only when your kids skills are above 12 but it's not the case. They fire up completely at random and can happen multiple times to same kid (making him useless). Fortunately we lost only 1 point of stewardship.

    Ok...

    "A) These events are there to balance the stats in Deus Vult. Without them, children's stats are so high that it breaks the core gameplay and just about every event that depends on stat checks. It is still possible to get kids with high stats, especially thanks to traits like prodigy, but unlike vanilla DV the mean will be around 7, not 10 for any stat."

    Ok, we had this shit two times in a row again and It just "balanced" my stewardship to 0 :lol: I don't know how to remove this even't so I just reloaded.

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    It might have been a mistake, he is a little bit too good for 13 years old kid. I will accept next "balancing" events (unless they will "balance" me from 8 to 0).

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    We kept spamming Aurelia with vassalization proposals and she finally accepted.

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    Ok I will accept it to atone for biggest sin LPer can commit - reloading because something went wrong.

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    Countess of Kiev declared independence again and I'm going to bitch slap her.

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    Loosing 2 stewardship is okay.

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    And we are going to take Kiev and re-vassalize her as a Cuntess of Turov because we need to send a message that Piskla is dead and fun times for our vassals are fucking over.

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    Finally "the other mongols" arrived, maybe they won't be such a failure.

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    They have 60k troops and should keep getting more every month.

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    We tried to revoke Yatviagi but Jakusz said "nope". We will try again later.

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    Our diocese bishop is starting to have strange religious views. Well, he don't own any land so he can believe in Juffo-Wup as far as I'm concerned.

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    And Ziemowit is a grown man now. He haven't finished his education yet though.

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    We married some polish chick with nice skills (Some of her skills sucks but that's because she's blind).

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    And then made her our steward and now we have decent income.

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    We managed to revoke Yatviagi which pissed off some of our vasalls but we will buy their loyalty.

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    Now we have to changed our law back to Ecclesical Balance to improve our income even further.

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    We went with "It has been searched for enough in the past!" (and we know what we are talking about).

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    Ill-Khanate is no more... DVIP probably "balanced" mongols.

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    Ziemowit finally finished his education. Well, I savescummed my way out of two stewardship "balancing" events but I don't think we are going to break a fucking game with this guy.

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    And we have our first son - Zygmunt. Hopefully we won't strangle him.

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    What?

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    Whatever game.

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    Wańko, I think we should hold a tournament to celebrate new era of prosperity!

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    That's great idea, my lord.

    [​IMG]

    And with this glorious event we shall end this update.
     
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  5. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Update 31 Ziemowit Piast - Many wars of many potatoes.

    Show Spoiler




    [​IMG]

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    Not so scary now, huh?! Lithuania is no longer in shambles so you are not pulling claims out of your ass to attack us? I'll be watching you!

    Guess what guise, we have claim on "Kingdom of Poland".

    [​IMG]

    And two sons now. Second one will be called "Bolesław". Traditional name of polish kings, you won't find "common knight" called Bolesław or Kazimierz. Those names were "reserved" for royal line only and even other Piasts never used them. They weren't protected by law or anything, it was just a tradition and it would be unthinkable to call your son "Kazimierz". Just like, until 19-20 century, it was considered blasphemy to name your daughter "Maria" (But no longer is and we have shitton of Maria's now).

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    We had a chance to improve our stability by not calling estate generals, unfortunately it didn't worked (Well, there was only 25% chanc it will).

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    Oh, we fell in love with our blind wife. It gave us "chaste" trait (+1 diplomacy, -1 intrigue. Far from being my favorite).

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    Oh, welcome back culture switch event.

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    There is no culture map mode in CK1 so I decided to make my own.

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    Wańko, Lithuania need to gain acess to the sea. We have to reconquer Danzig.

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    We already have access to the sea through Memel, Sambia, Kurs and Zemgalia, my liege.

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    Oh... well... I just want Danzig, ok?

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    Fair enough.

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    What the fuck did just happend?

    Ok I THINK that Poland attacked County of Zemgalia (who are our vassalls) because they attacked Teutonic Order and then Duchy of Muscowy attacked Poland because they attacked Zemgalia and then Peremyshl attacked Zemgalia so Muscovy attacked Peremyshl... I don't know but I'm going to blame Poland anyway.

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    What the fuck guys?! I left you alone for like, five minutes!

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    Ok, first let's deal with Danzig.

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    Ok, now we are going to defend Zemgalia from Poland. Muscowy and Zemgalia will have to deal with Teutons and Peremyshl alone.

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    Border skirmishes with poles.

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    And then Mirosław became Grandmaster of Teutonic Order, it's a king level title so he is no longer our vasall.

    [​IMG]

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    We had to mobilize everything we have (Poland is no push-over, they have 90k soldiers) but we managed to kick some asses and now we siege the shit out of king of Poland.

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    We signed peace taking 500 gold coins and Sieradz as a tribute because we are dicks.

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    Well, I'm not going to cry about loosing Count of Jaćwież and Zemgalia as a vassal because he was rebellious anyway. He can be Grandmaster if he want's to.

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    As you can see, we were not fucking around. We even mobilized Iceland.

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    Teutonic Potato Order is still at war with Poland. Miroslaw is going to feel how good it is to be independent by getting his ass kicked by poles.

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    Pope call to arms.

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    Wańko, we need to get Jaćwież back. Without Jaćwież we... well, we look silly without it to be honest.

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    You are right my lord, we really look silly

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    Seriously, just look at us now. We need to beat the crap out of knightly order during crusade.

    [​IMG]

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    [​IMG]

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    Whoa, wait a fucking minute. Bastard surrendered to king of Poland and gave gim all his titles, money and land.

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    I'm all kinds of not cool with that.

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    We need to mobilize again, ASKING our vassalls NICELY for soldiers so they won't rebell.

    [​IMG]

    Some random polish regiments are getting crushed while we organize ourselves.

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    We have twice as many soldiers this time so it should be quick.
     
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  6. Kashmir Slippers Augur

    Kashmir Slippers
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    Popping in to say that I love this LP.

    : x
     
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  7. Storyfag Arcane

    Storyfag
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    You should do that more often. Bumping this to new pages would be a lot easier...
     
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  8. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
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    Update 32 Ziemowit Piast - Commonwealth of Both Potatoes.

    Show Spoiler


    [​IMG]

    First skirmishes already begun even though we did not brought all of our troops here yet (Poland is very compact so it's easy for polish king to mobilize).

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Death and destruction everywhere (and our king is getting his ass kicked but that is acceptable for now)

    [​IMG]

    But our eastern regiments are arriving and tide is turned.

    [​IMG]

    Now Ziemowit is getting his revange on Henryk.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

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    We drove forces of Henryk back and now we are in his territory.

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    We have Jaćwież back, this means end of war right?

    [​IMG]

    NOPE

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    GIVE IT TO ME!

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    Awwww yisssss...

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    What the hell is that? Oh, kingdom of Burgundy and Italy.

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    Meh, We are king of Lithuania AND Poland. Commonwealth of Both Potatoes is born!



    [​IMG]

    And it started imploding already.

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    Don't you try to destroy my dream Stettin!

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    Yeah, behave Szczecin!

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    Lesser Poland declared independence. They can go, they are not cool enough to be in our Commonwealth anyway.

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    We can achive anything, all we have to do is BELIEVE!

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    SCIENCE!

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    We are no longer at debt so we started process of buying loyalty of our vasalls (new and old). Livs rebelled but it's just a county so we will put them down quick.

    [​IMG]

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    Oh, stability for free, that's nice.

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    Another count(ess) rebelled. But we still don't have realm duress so we should be fine.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

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    Why the fuck would COUNT of Polotsk declare war on Bohemia? Bohemia may not look like much from here...

    [​IMG]

    But they own most of Iberia, so Polotsk is on it's own.

    [​IMG]

    And we managed to put down all rebellions and now very vassal is loyal.

     
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  9. Storyfag Arcane

    Storyfag
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    : x
     
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  10. Kashmir Slippers Augur

    Kashmir Slippers
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    One, true Potato!
     
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  11. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    Keeping a large kingdom from falling apart is way too easy in the sequel compared to the predecessor, and to this day I. CK II, from the DLC milking to the removal of certain challenges, was ultimately

    :decline:

    PS: Some mods fix that, to an extent.
     
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  12. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
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    Update 33 Ziemowit Piast - Potato Invictus

    Show Spoiler




    [​IMG]

    My will is done. Commonwealth is created, two pieces of one potato are finally together again...

    [​IMG]

    I'm looking at this for 5 minutes now and I'm still not sure what happened.

    [​IMG]

    Oh, this guy attacked somone and then got dogpiled. Well, this county is too far away for me to care. They can kill him.

    [​IMG]

    Dagnabbit!

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    That must be work of Henryk the No Longer King of Poland!

    [​IMG]

    We survived but we have to keep an eye on this cunt.

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    Oh, our vassal become pope controller, fortunately he is our friend.

    [​IMG]

    To be honest I didn't even realized we were wounded.

    [​IMG]

    "the-other-mongols" are back, and this time they have 80k men.

    [​IMG]

    Holy shit, Polotsk is taking over Bohemia.

    [​IMG]

    They got kicked out and now rape train is coming.

    [​IMG]

    And we also stressed now. Well I don't think that -2 to health stressed and ill gives us will outright kill us though.

    [​IMG]

    Mongols are actually conquering shit this time and they have 120k men now. I think what happend last time was that they got their only province conquered while they were sieging something and this forced them to accept any peace deal.

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    Polotsk failed in Bohemia so they are trying their luck in Iberia.

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    Peace is nice, but we must continue our destiny, we must continue our drang nach osten!

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    And we have some weak-ass pagans near so why not?

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    Kapfgruppe Ziemomysł, all dranging nach ostening and shit.

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    Will you stop raping my vassal if I accept? Well, they didn't but at least we have allies now.

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    Crap, our marshall left us.

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    But he's still leading our forces...

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    We are in position and it is time to declare war.

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    Unfortunately miracle worker failed to heal us.

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    We granted Vladimir to our daughter.

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    God approves of our dranging and improved our stability.

    [​IMG]

    And Golden Horde is back.

    [​IMG]

    And that's why I keep giving shit to my daughters, when they die you get your stuff back (they can't marry if they are rulers).

    [​IMG]

    We granted Adleta Moskva and Bryańsk. We will keep Smoleńsk for our firstborn son (unless Ziemowit decides to strangle him).
     
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  13. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
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    That's true. But I think that creating large kingdom is harder in CK2 than in CK1 (unless you start as one of course) at least for me.
     
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  14. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
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    There might be slight update delay tomorrow. I AM no-life (which is probably obvious to you now) but sometimes I have to go back and forth between my house and house of my parents. I uploaded game saves to my e-mail but those things sometimes are getting eaten by internet goblins so you never know. There shouldn't be any problems but I decided to warn you anyway because Heimdall saves got eaten like that when I was sure that everything will be fine SO NOBODY PANIC I GOT THIS SHIT.
     
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  15. Krivol Liturgist

    Krivol
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    :salute:Great LP. And good luck with Tatarzy, Nogajce and all that stuff.
     
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  16. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
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    Update 34 Zygmunt Piast - Polish hospitality and empire of trees.

    Show Spoiler




    Commonwealth is a woman, very big and angry woman.

    [​IMG]

    We diplo-vassalized Duke of Pomerania, he was vassal of Germany but had low loyalty so we stole him from them.

    [​IMG]

    And then Henryk the No Longer King of Poland died and his heir become our vassal. I was planning to vassalize him anyway so I'm quite happy it happend automatically.

    [​IMG]

    Now Independence of Lesser Poland is annoying me as hell but it's ruler is Gaelic and have land in Brittany and I don't feel like dragging my ass there to beat him.

    [​IMG]

    Why not? We have enough kids and celibacy will help us gaining piety.

    [​IMG]

    Then we vassalized Galich (Polish dude is ruling it)

    [​IMG]

    We created Duchy of Galich and granted it to our new vassal to make him feel welcome in our glorious Commonwealth.

    [​IMG]

    Awwwww shieeet.

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    Well, it's good thing that we have a lot of money to bribe our vassals.

    [​IMG]

    We shut our vassalls whore mouths with money and then gave few counties away and everyone seems to be happy. And we are Zygmunt now, I would like him to have better stewardship and intrigue but it's not very likely since he is educated in church.

    [​IMG]

    Zygmunt finished his education. He is 'martial cleric' and he suck at skills I think are most important (Intrigue and Stewardship) but is not that bad overall. Let's find wife for this bugger.

    [​IMG]

    We married Agnieszka, she's a prodigy and I like her skills, unfortunately she hate our guts.

    [​IMG]

    We impregnated our wife and mongols are back (they got killed by cumans again).

    [​IMG]

    And then our bro come of age...

    [​IMG]

    My brother is a grown man and we need land for him. Mere county won't be enough and I decided that we tolerated independence of Lesser Poland for too long. We shall incorporate it to our Commonwealth and grant it to Bolesław.

    [​IMG]

    We will have to do this by force because Gaelic overlords of lesser poland won't just give up.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Let's show them some Polish hospitality.

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    They are allied with Sweden, but Swedes deceided that they got this and did not join war.

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    Jeeez our bishop got fucked up.

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    But we won.

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    Give your stuff to me you silly Gaelic person and we will let you live.

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    We granted county of Sandomierz and Duchy of Lesser Poland to our bro.

    [​IMG]

    And now we are even bigger and scarier than ever. Zygmunt have 2 king titles and 11 dukes as vassals, he gain 3.6 prestige per month for being awesome.

    [​IMG]

    But Big Red Blob of Bad Intentions (tm) is also no pushover.

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    I looked on terrain map mode and we are empire of forests, we have only 3 or 4 "plains" provinces, rest are fucking forests.

    [​IMG]

    Also, most of our vassals (like this duke here) are 'rebellious' but we can afford to keep buying their loyalty...

    [​IMG]

    ... and loyalty of their children and their children children, children, children... we look to Juffo-Wup for directions, we seek the Non to Void the Non or to refuse the Non... 'look... learn... teach... learn...' We are Mycon, we respond.

    [​IMG]

    You phased out for a moment my liege, are you allright?

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    ... Oh, yeah, I'm cool, thanks.

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    Cruel, hostile, stubborn. It runs in family...
     
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  17. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
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    Thanks! Well, I don't think we are going to have any problems with mongols (Tatarzy for us, potatoes) because even Ill-Khanate is in deep troubles (they are down to 3 provinces) so we don't have any outside threat. I think we are going to expand till we implode because even if Burgundy (Big Red Blob of Bad Intentions) may look scary, we still have way more soldiers because our provinces are better developed (eastern europe is poor but germany is not Alexandria either) and, thanks to CK tech system, we are more advanced than they are (Because we are closer to constantinople? I don't know).
     
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  18. Storyfag Arcane

    Storyfag
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    Steamroll them, taking away their royal title :smug: Is it possible to become an Emperor (which, I'm guessing, will allow you to control even more provinces)?
     
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  19. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
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    No, there is no emperor title in CK1 (so we can't have kings as a vassals) and grabbing claim for King title is extremely expensive (3500 prestige).You can get those by random event (if you are rival of king) or by inheriting it (that's how we got claim on kingdom of poland). BUT it's usually bad idea to get king title by force because it's "transfers" vasalls to you, and you can end up with bunch of extremely strong vasalls. But even if your vasalls are weak as shit CK1 still have "u too big, pls implode" system in form of "realm duress" which not only make your vasall rebellious but also lowers your skills so it is completely impossible to have huge, stable kingdom, you will implode sooner or later. And I decided that we will go apeshit on europe and our downfall will be heard in fucking china.
     
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  20. Storyfag Arcane

    Storyfag
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    Can't wait to see it :salute:
     
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  21. Krivol Liturgist

    Krivol
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    Potatoland aka Prussia
     
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  22. Storyfag Arcane

    Storyfag
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    Oh, look, we're almost on page 5...
     
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  23. Krivol Liturgist

    Krivol
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    Oh, didn't noticed. Then bump.
     
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  24. Storyfag Arcane

    Storyfag
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    Just two posts more.
     
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  25. Krivol Liturgist

    Krivol
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    It's a hard work, you know...
     
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