Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Yeah, going through all this pain to restore dude's empire just to sell his sarcophagus would be quite dickish move... but this sarcophagus is just... you know, standing there... all empty and... it's not even paying the taxes!
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Completed Let's Play Europa Barbarorum (Arche Seleukeia)
- Thread starter Ivar the Boner
- Start date
Yeah, going through all this pain to restore dude's empire just to sell his sarcophagus would be quite dickish move... but this sarcophagus is just... you know, standing there... all empty and... it's not even paying the taxes!
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 12 Drums of Gaugamela (It's a band plan that somehow works so far).
Basileus reached Ekbatana and decided to... leave Prthian army alone and just continue his march.
They will be crushed by Ekbatana's garrison if they try to attack it anyway. We won't waste our time dealing with them and just go straigt for Zadrakata.
Ptolemaioi continue their desparate attampts at reganing Alexandreia but forces they attack with are getting smaller and smaller.
So Sarpedon may sleep well at night knowing that everything he conquered will stay in Seleukoi hands.
Former Celtic town and now last bastion of Pontos run out of food and garrison don't have any other choice but to sally forth. They have two family members there and one of them is king but that won't help them much. Being forced to lift the siege by sallying garrison is shittiest situation you can imagine if you fight against human player so AI can't win this even with most elite troops. Pontos is no more.
But we still can have some fun killing them right?
We imidiately order our troops to run towards city gates.
And then pepper Pontics with arrows and javlins while they try to get out of the city.
All we have to do now is to push weakened enemies into their own walls and gate.
I usually let all enemies leave the city and then order attack. Usually you can break them all at the same time, ending the battle. But their general is fucking beast and they won't break easily.
Third cavalry charge from behind and still no Pontic fucks were given.
"King" himself arrived. He can be badass commander but he's not immortal. And killing him will make this battle much quicker.
Die for pete's sake!
"King" of pontos finally died, stabbed hunderds times, run over by horses, chopped to pieces...
... Now we have to deal with rest of garrison. We could just stand here poking guys that tries to leave the city gates but that would take hour or two.
But we could send Theodoros with his Hetaoiroi and Prodromoi charging carrying head of Pontic "king" ona a pike and screaming bad things about persian satraps that decides to be kings and rebel against Basileus.
Every adult male in Ankyra was killed as a rebel and then we sold women and children as slaves. Because that's what we do with rebels.
Fuck your indigenous culture!
News about Theodoros putting down Pontic rebellion did not reached Basileus yet because he's far in the east heading for Zadrakata.
Ptolemaioi being Ptolemaioi. They brought larger force this time but it won't help them since we managed to stranghten Alexandreia garrison (we even have some Pezhatairoi there).
Epeiros (we are at war with them) landed in Asia Minor so I decided that Nikaia will be Theodoros next target.
Diospolis was was forced to sally forth because they ran out of food.
Battle in a sandstorm, which makes for interesting nex-gen piss filter!
Plan is the same as at Ankyra.
We will keep stabbing Ptolemaioi until their morale drops and then we should brake them with one charge.
Ptolemaic general left the city using different gate and attacked us from our flank. AI always does that so we were prepared.
Body stealers general is getting his ass surrounded while we poke his troops with extreme prejudice.
Enemy commander died and Ptolemaioi morale dropped.
Only one unit of skirmishers is not fleeing so we order everyone to drop sarissa and just charge.
And they all are fleeing now and the battle is over.
Enslaving Diospolis will hurt our taxes in long run but will make population easier to control and give us huge money boost (which we will spend building economic buildings because our cities are extremely undeveloped).
Plan for the rest of our offensive in Aigyptos. When the last Ptolemaioi city in the south falls Sarpdon will go back to deal with this town west of Alexandreia. But until then Alexandreia garrison will have keep fending off ptolemaioi attacks.
Basileus reached Ekbatana and decided to... leave Prthian army alone and just continue his march.
They will be crushed by Ekbatana's garrison if they try to attack it anyway. We won't waste our time dealing with them and just go straigt for Zadrakata.
Ptolemaioi continue their desparate attampts at reganing Alexandreia but forces they attack with are getting smaller and smaller.
So Sarpedon may sleep well at night knowing that everything he conquered will stay in Seleukoi hands.
Former Celtic town and now last bastion of Pontos run out of food and garrison don't have any other choice but to sally forth. They have two family members there and one of them is king but that won't help them much. Being forced to lift the siege by sallying garrison is shittiest situation you can imagine if you fight against human player so AI can't win this even with most elite troops. Pontos is no more.
But we still can have some fun killing them right?
We imidiately order our troops to run towards city gates.
And then pepper Pontics with arrows and javlins while they try to get out of the city.
All we have to do now is to push weakened enemies into their own walls and gate.
I usually let all enemies leave the city and then order attack. Usually you can break them all at the same time, ending the battle. But their general is fucking beast and they won't break easily.
Third cavalry charge from behind and still no Pontic fucks were given.
"King" himself arrived. He can be badass commander but he's not immortal. And killing him will make this battle much quicker.
Die for pete's sake!
"King" of pontos finally died, stabbed hunderds times, run over by horses, chopped to pieces...
... Now we have to deal with rest of garrison. We could just stand here poking guys that tries to leave the city gates but that would take hour or two.
But we could send Theodoros with his Hetaoiroi and Prodromoi charging carrying head of Pontic "king" ona a pike and screaming bad things about persian satraps that decides to be kings and rebel against Basileus.
Every adult male in Ankyra was killed as a rebel and then we sold women and children as slaves. Because that's what we do with rebels.
Fuck your indigenous culture!
News about Theodoros putting down Pontic rebellion did not reached Basileus yet because he's far in the east heading for Zadrakata.
Ptolemaioi being Ptolemaioi. They brought larger force this time but it won't help them since we managed to stranghten Alexandreia garrison (we even have some Pezhatairoi there).
Epeiros (we are at war with them) landed in Asia Minor so I decided that Nikaia will be Theodoros next target.
Diospolis was was forced to sally forth because they ran out of food.
Battle in a sandstorm, which makes for interesting nex-gen piss filter!
Plan is the same as at Ankyra.
We will keep stabbing Ptolemaioi until their morale drops and then we should brake them with one charge.
Ptolemaic general left the city using different gate and attacked us from our flank. AI always does that so we were prepared.
Body stealers general is getting his ass surrounded while we poke his troops with extreme prejudice.
Enemy commander died and Ptolemaioi morale dropped.
Only one unit of skirmishers is not fleeing so we order everyone to drop sarissa and just charge.
And they all are fleeing now and the battle is over.
Enslaving Diospolis will hurt our taxes in long run but will make population easier to control and give us huge money boost (which we will spend building economic buildings because our cities are extremely undeveloped).
Plan for the rest of our offensive in Aigyptos. When the last Ptolemaioi city in the south falls Sarpdon will go back to deal with this town west of Alexandreia. But until then Alexandreia garrison will have keep fending off ptolemaioi attacks.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
You have enough shekels, create a small army in Alexandria and take Libya. Will be one less burden.
Aye, that will be for the best.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 13 Striking back at Pahlava
Our garrison is very strong here so I'm allright with Ptolemaioi attacking this city constantly.
Pharos of Alexandreia... we could sell it for 4 thousand Shekels.
Ok, siege was going fine but then AI bork like it sometimes do during sieges and Ptolemaioi units got stuck on the walls (I had to go around killing them) and then I noticed another broken unit that was stuck carrying ladders back and forth, I was tired of this siege so I ordered my units to charge those guys and decided to go make myself a tea... And I forgot that I Ptolemaioi captured my towers and my pahalangitai were getting shot do death while I was wating for water to boil. But we saved Alexandreia and we should be able to replenish garrison next turn.
I'm all for Andhaira attacking me with crappy stacks. That's why I decided to deal with them now, I want to fight them while they can't produce any good units because their towns are horribly undeveloped and they will be stuck with "nomads" status until they reach Babylonia (I think that's most eastern part of the world where they can start building non-nomadic government buildings).
Well, for the first time we fight Pahlava in open field and no one else but Basileus Antiochos Syriakos himself is leading our army.
This is ALMOST army I want all my armies to look like. We have proper cheap skirmishers to catch arrows instead of expensive Peltastai and only thing we lack is more non-general cavalry and one more unit of non-macedonian-style-phalanx melee unit. Everything else is just about right.
Too old to rock'n'roll but too young to die!
Armored horse-archers - stuff of nightmares. Imprevious to arrows and only light/medium cavalry can catch them... but will be easily cut down by them.
We have small arrow echange between our archers and Pahlavan horsies.
We reposition one phalangitai unit to protect our archers in case of Parthian cav being sneaky.
Some of Parthian infantry finally approaches. They have three unit of regular archers so we will have to do something about it (their infantry is no concern but why lose our men to some yahoos with bows?)
Another batch of infantry, those are looking more formidable than "hellenic native spearmen" but still not very worrying.
Parthians left their archers behind and then send native spearmen charging at us. Most of them were killed by arrows and javelins.
Then we ordered our skirmishers to charge survivors to break them with shock and mass and make way for our generals Hetairoi.
I hoped that we will have clean, straight line for our cav to charge parthian archers but AI decided to be all sneaky and tries to cut our way with axemen..
Companion cavalry are no cataphracts but I think we can still easily break light infantry (even though it's not a "proper" charge because our lances are not lowered).
Dude who's name I can't even spell went right through parthian axemen while Basileus cut's them to pieces.
Meanwhile more parthians started to pop out from the trees but charging phalangitai from the front won't end well for them.
YOU ARE NOT EVEN TRYING!
Dude-Who's-Name-I-Can't-Even-Spell managed to catch enemy archers, unfortunately in the middle of forest which is not perfect but I'll get over it.
Antiochos is finished with enemy axemen and is getting ready to fight armored horse-archers. Parthians attack would be quite dangerous if they made them all at once, not one after another.
You have to give Parthians one thing, not only they can switch from nomads to settled people in one century, they can also switch from being horse niggers to being tree people during one battle!
But no matter from where you attack, attacking phalanx always ends badly.
Phalangitai screwed their job to protect the archers.
But that's just some light cavalry so our persian archers survived.
There is only one unit that sits near the edge of a map chilling. I will send my cavalry to deal with them and go make myself a tea... or not, I will actually micro this last charge.
They are outclassed and outnumbered... oh and being in loose formation is not helping them either.
And we won, not a glorious victory by any means because their army was extremely shitty even for early parthian standards.
Now we will starve Zadrakata because "slow and steady wins the race" and all that jazz.
Meanwhile in the Aigyptos, Sarpedon continues his offensive.
We are also in process of replenishing Alexandreia's garrison after last pyrrhic victory.
And in Asia Minor Epeirotes got their asses kicked by Pergamon, which makes me very, very happy (I don't want to border them yet).
Andhaira grow restless, they send another army at Antiochus.
And it's infantry army. What are they thinking sending those peasants at best infantry in whole known world? infantry that conquered everything that was to conquer! (and then lost it, but we got this shit now).
Dem fucking trees, man.
Seriously, what Antiochus army is even doing here? playing boyscouts?
Ok, I found clear space and we are going to deploy here.
We can hear proto-andhairas howling and then some banners pops out from the woods...
Not so scary without your horses eh?
Some light cavalry charged from the woods straight into phalanx formation, there were other targets but they decided charge phalangitai. Who are we to question their ways?
Then their infantry attacked.
It's time for some butt-charging so we pull our commanders from the woods.
To my amazement they managed to withstand our butt-charge and I'm not feeling comfortable when my commander is fighting spearmen (I don't even know if pandotatoi have any bonuses against cav, but still) so I decided to use our phalangitai to encircle them.
It's not obvious on still screenshot that all Pahlavans banner are turning white but, yeah, they are routing.
All we had to do then was to remove parthian archers frompremises woods and the battle was over.
Quite a few casualties but mostly skirmishers so no fucks are given (catching arrows it's their job).
I think that we will assualt this town afterall because there is no reason to sit here for 4 more seasons.
And I decided to listen to Voice of Reason (CorporateJewMaster and Storyfag) and recruit small army to take this annoying city west of Alexandreia.
There is no poing to fight this on battle map. I will auto-resolve it.
Goddamit we lost more than 600 men... I didn't even took screenshot because at first I decided that "no way, I'm reloading" but then gods said to me "Bullshit dude, you clicked auto-resolve, you take responsibility". We enslaved this town because obviously there is some kind of illegal cult of RNG gods here.
Our garrison is very strong here so I'm allright with Ptolemaioi attacking this city constantly.
Pharos of Alexandreia... we could sell it for 4 thousand Shekels.
Ok, siege was going fine but then AI bork like it sometimes do during sieges and Ptolemaioi units got stuck on the walls (I had to go around killing them) and then I noticed another broken unit that was stuck carrying ladders back and forth, I was tired of this siege so I ordered my units to charge those guys and decided to go make myself a tea... And I forgot that I Ptolemaioi captured my towers and my pahalangitai were getting shot do death while I was wating for water to boil. But we saved Alexandreia and we should be able to replenish garrison next turn.
I'm all for Andhaira attacking me with crappy stacks. That's why I decided to deal with them now, I want to fight them while they can't produce any good units because their towns are horribly undeveloped and they will be stuck with "nomads" status until they reach Babylonia (I think that's most eastern part of the world where they can start building non-nomadic government buildings).
Well, for the first time we fight Pahlava in open field and no one else but Basileus Antiochos Syriakos himself is leading our army.
This is ALMOST army I want all my armies to look like. We have proper cheap skirmishers to catch arrows instead of expensive Peltastai and only thing we lack is more non-general cavalry and one more unit of non-macedonian-style-phalanx melee unit. Everything else is just about right.
Too old to rock'n'roll but too young to die!
Armored horse-archers - stuff of nightmares. Imprevious to arrows and only light/medium cavalry can catch them... but will be easily cut down by them.
We have small arrow echange between our archers and Pahlavan horsies.
We reposition one phalangitai unit to protect our archers in case of Parthian cav being sneaky.
Some of Parthian infantry finally approaches. They have three unit of regular archers so we will have to do something about it (their infantry is no concern but why lose our men to some yahoos with bows?)
Another batch of infantry, those are looking more formidable than "hellenic native spearmen" but still not very worrying.
Parthians left their archers behind and then send native spearmen charging at us. Most of them were killed by arrows and javelins.
Then we ordered our skirmishers to charge survivors to break them with shock and mass and make way for our generals Hetairoi.
I hoped that we will have clean, straight line for our cav to charge parthian archers but AI decided to be all sneaky and tries to cut our way with axemen..
Companion cavalry are no cataphracts but I think we can still easily break light infantry (even though it's not a "proper" charge because our lances are not lowered).
Dude who's name I can't even spell went right through parthian axemen while Basileus cut's them to pieces.
Meanwhile more parthians started to pop out from the trees but charging phalangitai from the front won't end well for them.
YOU ARE NOT EVEN TRYING!
Dude-Who's-Name-I-Can't-Even-Spell managed to catch enemy archers, unfortunately in the middle of forest which is not perfect but I'll get over it.
Antiochos is finished with enemy axemen and is getting ready to fight armored horse-archers. Parthians attack would be quite dangerous if they made them all at once, not one after another.
You have to give Parthians one thing, not only they can switch from nomads to settled people in one century, they can also switch from being horse niggers to being tree people during one battle!
But no matter from where you attack, attacking phalanx always ends badly.
Phalangitai screwed their job to protect the archers.
But that's just some light cavalry so our persian archers survived.
There is only one unit that sits near the edge of a map chilling. I will send my cavalry to deal with them and go make myself a tea... or not, I will actually micro this last charge.
They are outclassed and outnumbered... oh and being in loose formation is not helping them either.
And we won, not a glorious victory by any means because their army was extremely shitty even for early parthian standards.
Now we will starve Zadrakata because "slow and steady wins the race" and all that jazz.
Meanwhile in the Aigyptos, Sarpedon continues his offensive.
We are also in process of replenishing Alexandreia's garrison after last pyrrhic victory.
And in Asia Minor Epeirotes got their asses kicked by Pergamon, which makes me very, very happy (I don't want to border them yet).
Andhaira grow restless, they send another army at Antiochus.
And it's infantry army. What are they thinking sending those peasants at best infantry in whole known world? infantry that conquered everything that was to conquer! (and then lost it, but we got this shit now).
Dem fucking trees, man.
Seriously, what Antiochus army is even doing here? playing boyscouts?
Ok, I found clear space and we are going to deploy here.
We can hear proto-andhairas howling and then some banners pops out from the woods...
Not so scary without your horses eh?
Some light cavalry charged from the woods straight into phalanx formation, there were other targets but they decided charge phalangitai. Who are we to question their ways?
Then their infantry attacked.
It's time for some butt-charging so we pull our commanders from the woods.
To my amazement they managed to withstand our butt-charge and I'm not feeling comfortable when my commander is fighting spearmen (I don't even know if pandotatoi have any bonuses against cav, but still) so I decided to use our phalangitai to encircle them.
It's not obvious on still screenshot that all Pahlavans banner are turning white but, yeah, they are routing.
All we had to do then was to remove parthian archers from
Quite a few casualties but mostly skirmishers so no fucks are given (catching arrows it's their job).
I think that we will assualt this town afterall because there is no reason to sit here for 4 more seasons.
And I decided to listen to Voice of Reason (CorporateJewMaster and Storyfag) and recruit small army to take this annoying city west of Alexandreia.
There is no poing to fight this on battle map. I will auto-resolve it.
Goddamit we lost more than 600 men... I didn't even took screenshot because at first I decided that "no way, I'm reloading" but then gods said to me "Bullshit dude, you clicked auto-resolve, you take responsibility". We enslaved this town because obviously there is some kind of illegal cult of RNG gods here.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 14 Giants Under the Sun
We have a chance to take Pselkis without sieging it.
I deployed my army all wrong and we are facing smaller Ptolemaioi army instead of main one.
Not a problem though, we shall turn around and send 3 phalangitai units with cav support to deal with Pselkis garrison.
Glorious Arche Seleukeia Foot Companion Ubermanschens versus Unwashed Horde of Ptolemaioi Machimoi.
But for every machimoi our pezhetairoi will poke two more will rise to poke back so we butt-charged them with extreme prejudice.
Now we have to deal with relieve army and they actually have real family member general...
...With suicidal tendencies.
And they throw everything they got on our right flank. Like I said before, even pezhetairoi phalangitai* can be messed up by front attack simply by numbers and weight of attacker so we will have to "collapse" on ptolemaioi before our right flank formation will be destroyed.
*Even Argyrsaspides can be broken from front. I actually took some time to read about Diadiochi armies and apparently, Argyraspides were even bigger primadonnas than fucking Pretorians. But, unlike pretoria guard, they actually did some fighting from time to time to prove they are really elite, but still were bunch of dicks.
We did this collapsing thingy and trapped Ptolemaioi phalangitai.
I can't imagine worse place to be, I will call this: "General Discussion".
Unfortunately one unit that did not took part in battle managed to leave the field so we may not get Pselkis for this.
No, we didn't but I'll get over it.
Our small army is ready and next turn we shall send it west to deal with this annoying Ptolemaioi city.
Our eastern provinces started being butthurt so we moved our capital back where it belongs.
Alexandreia is all "Bawww!" because of this but they should shut the fuck up next turn.
Now it's time to take Pselkis. I won't autoresolve it but I also won't show you this battle.
Auto-resolve, never again! Never Fosfget
And into slavery Pselkis goes!
Oh wow, I think it's first time we got command star for battle we did ourselves!
Alexandreia is still very butthurt and we had to move our capital to Antiocheia. We should enslaved those bitches and rename this city to Skinnymandria.
We left token force in Pselkis and send Sarpedon to take Hibis.
Remember that Parthian army we left alone near Ekbatana? yeah, they hauled their asses back to Zadrakata and we will have to deal with them before any further parthians wll be removed from the premises.
Ptolemaioi attack again, and this time with none other but their king!
And we got picture of Ptolemaioi slaughtering Selekids as a loading screen. Thanks game.
They don't even have any phalangitai. You are worst sucessors Ptolemaioi!
This guy is not their king but he's also Ptolemaioi family member so we shall kill him.
Meanwhile our left flank collapses on main ptolemaic force.
We got their king, but our encircling operation is constantly interrupted by ptolemaic light skirmishers.
Unfortunately Ptolemaioi king died before he told us where they hid Alexandros body.
And now we just have to clean this mess.
Bithynians in Nikaia are forced to sally.
They put up a reasonable fight but we managed to take Nikaia.
Aaand into slavery they go.
South is looking better than ever. Sarpedon is sieging Hibis...
And our smaller army is taking care of Peraitonion.
They still have army near Ptolemais-Theron but that's ways away.
And of course they still control Salamis but AI can't make proper naval invasion to save it's life.
In the east Parthians are trying to do some counter attacks but Zadrakata should be fine.
Antiochus got besieged in Apameia but we will sally forth and remove Andhaira from the premises.
We have a chance to take Pselkis without sieging it.
I deployed my army all wrong and we are facing smaller Ptolemaioi army instead of main one.
Not a problem though, we shall turn around and send 3 phalangitai units with cav support to deal with Pselkis garrison.
Glorious Arche Seleukeia Foot Companion Ubermanschens versus Unwashed Horde of Ptolemaioi Machimoi.
But for every machimoi our pezhetairoi will poke two more will rise to poke back so we butt-charged them with extreme prejudice.
Now we have to deal with relieve army and they actually have real family member general...
...With suicidal tendencies.
And they throw everything they got on our right flank. Like I said before, even pezhetairoi phalangitai* can be messed up by front attack simply by numbers and weight of attacker so we will have to "collapse" on ptolemaioi before our right flank formation will be destroyed.
*Even Argyrsaspides can be broken from front. I actually took some time to read about Diadiochi armies and apparently, Argyraspides were even bigger primadonnas than fucking Pretorians. But, unlike pretoria guard, they actually did some fighting from time to time to prove they are really elite, but still were bunch of dicks.
We did this collapsing thingy and trapped Ptolemaioi phalangitai.
I can't imagine worse place to be, I will call this: "General Discussion".
Unfortunately one unit that did not took part in battle managed to leave the field so we may not get Pselkis for this.
No, we didn't but I'll get over it.
Our small army is ready and next turn we shall send it west to deal with this annoying Ptolemaioi city.
Our eastern provinces started being butthurt so we moved our capital back where it belongs.
Alexandreia is all "Bawww!" because of this but they should shut the fuck up next turn.
Now it's time to take Pselkis. I won't autoresolve it but I also won't show you this battle.
Auto-resolve, never again! Never Fosfget
And into slavery Pselkis goes!
Oh wow, I think it's first time we got command star for battle we did ourselves!
Alexandreia is still very butthurt and we had to move our capital to Antiocheia. We should enslaved those bitches and rename this city to Skinnymandria.
We left token force in Pselkis and send Sarpedon to take Hibis.
Remember that Parthian army we left alone near Ekbatana? yeah, they hauled their asses back to Zadrakata and we will have to deal with them before any further parthians wll be removed from the premises.
Ptolemaioi attack again, and this time with none other but their king!
And we got picture of Ptolemaioi slaughtering Selekids as a loading screen. Thanks game.
They don't even have any phalangitai. You are worst sucessors Ptolemaioi!
This guy is not their king but he's also Ptolemaioi family member so we shall kill him.
Meanwhile our left flank collapses on main ptolemaic force.
We got their king, but our encircling operation is constantly interrupted by ptolemaic light skirmishers.
Unfortunately Ptolemaioi king died before he told us where they hid Alexandros body.
And now we just have to clean this mess.
Bithynians in Nikaia are forced to sally.
They put up a reasonable fight but we managed to take Nikaia.
Aaand into slavery they go.
South is looking better than ever. Sarpedon is sieging Hibis...
And our smaller army is taking care of Peraitonion.
They still have army near Ptolemais-Theron but that's ways away.
And of course they still control Salamis but AI can't make proper naval invasion to save it's life.
In the east Parthians are trying to do some counter attacks but Zadrakata should be fine.
Antiochus got besieged in Apameia but we will sally forth and remove Andhaira from the premises.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 15 Giants Under the Sun
We have to break the siege of Apameia.
It should be easy because, even though Parthian general is quite beastly his army is complete crap.
We are constantly getting shot by arrows while we leave the city but that's to be expected.
Our soldiers are in position and now we shall run towards Pahalavan army.
Our line is all fucked up but it's hard to control running phalangitai.
I decided to ignore horse archers and use our cavalry to do proper hammering.
And with such terrible infantry as Parthians have there can be only one effect of butt-charging.
Mass rout.
We lost more soldiers than I expected and removed less Andhairas than I hoped but such is live.
But siege of Apameia is over.
And we can continue our march at Hekatompylos, which don't have walls so it's completely at our mercy (and we don't have any).
Theodoros decided to join Olympiad and is useless for season or two. We will have to replenish and reorganize his army without him.
It's always better to defend than to attack so I put Antiochus next to Hekatompylos in hope that Andhaira will catch the bait and attack him.
Like so.
We have nice hill to defend so let's put our soldiers there.
They have shitton of archers but, eventually, they will be forced to storm this shit.
They send their armored horse-archers first which is quite wise since our archers are very ineffective against armoured targets.
Finally, they attacked with infantry.
And this will go all kinds of bad for them.
We will have to go through this parthian general unit to hammer their infantry.
Since parthian cav is tired we are doing fine.
But then we got butt-charged by unit I didn't saw and it almost broke Basileus Hetairoi.
We have to get him out of there because if he flees or dies everything may go to hell.
Meanwhile our infantry pokes the shit out of parthians.
Pahalavan cav decided to chase our general but unfortunately for them, they ran straight into edge of our phalanx.
And this allowed us to do quick counter attack.
And completely rape them.
Death of a general and enemy cavalry presence behind dropped parthian infantry morale and made them flee.
Then we had to clean this mess but there is whole crapton of parthian archers who kept regrouping so it took a while.
But we did it and battle is won.
And we captured Hekatompylos and removed parthians from it's premises by selling them into slavery.
We have to break the siege of Apameia.
It should be easy because, even though Parthian general is quite beastly his army is complete crap.
We are constantly getting shot by arrows while we leave the city but that's to be expected.
Our soldiers are in position and now we shall run towards Pahalavan army.
Our line is all fucked up but it's hard to control running phalangitai.
I decided to ignore horse archers and use our cavalry to do proper hammering.
And with such terrible infantry as Parthians have there can be only one effect of butt-charging.
Mass rout.
We lost more soldiers than I expected and removed less Andhairas than I hoped but such is live.
But siege of Apameia is over.
And we can continue our march at Hekatompylos, which don't have walls so it's completely at our mercy (and we don't have any).
Theodoros decided to join Olympiad and is useless for season or two. We will have to replenish and reorganize his army without him.
It's always better to defend than to attack so I put Antiochus next to Hekatompylos in hope that Andhaira will catch the bait and attack him.
Like so.
We have nice hill to defend so let's put our soldiers there.
They have shitton of archers but, eventually, they will be forced to storm this shit.
They send their armored horse-archers first which is quite wise since our archers are very ineffective against armoured targets.
Finally, they attacked with infantry.
And this will go all kinds of bad for them.
We will have to go through this parthian general unit to hammer their infantry.
Since parthian cav is tired we are doing fine.
But then we got butt-charged by unit I didn't saw and it almost broke Basileus Hetairoi.
We have to get him out of there because if he flees or dies everything may go to hell.
Meanwhile our infantry pokes the shit out of parthians.
Pahalavan cav decided to chase our general but unfortunately for them, they ran straight into edge of our phalanx.
And this allowed us to do quick counter attack.
And completely rape them.
Death of a general and enemy cavalry presence behind dropped parthian infantry morale and made them flee.
Then we had to clean this mess but there is whole crapton of parthian archers who kept regrouping so it took a while.
But we did it and battle is won.
And we captured Hekatompylos and removed parthians from it's premises by selling them into slavery.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 16 - Giants Under the Sun (Sneakiest of ambuscades and new sport discipline)
Parthians are not building any siege equipment here so they obviously try to starve our garrison. So Sally can't wait, or it will be too late, as we're are walking on by...
Sally was sucessful and Parthian soul slides away, but don't look back in anger I heard you say... Ok, I'm done.
Meanwhile our "allies" are walzting around Asia minor again. Macedonia is getting their asses royally kicked by Epirotes and Koinnon Helleinon so they probably look for some easy conquest here.
I planned to go around this parthian army leaving it behind like we did with them at Ekbatana. But bastards got fucking Catahpracts so leaving them alone is no-no. We won't attacked them yet because they are standing on hills.
Ptolemaioi ran out of food and attacked our small army besieging them. I will do this battle myself because family member in this city is actually their faction leader.
Holy crap, Polemaic king is last living egyptian unit on the field and he's fighting whole unit of Phalangitai alone.
I told them to stop poking him and just smah his head with an axe.
Goodnight sweet king.
ENSLAVE!
Hibis surrendered without a fight... ENSLAVE.
Theodoros finally stopped dicking around on Olympiad and is sieging Halikarnassos.
Oh, we won't have to attack this army afterall, they decided to attack us.
Pretty standard deployment... but there is special sneaky surprise.
We prepared sneaky ambush for parthians. Yup, guys wielding 21 foot long pikes are "hidden" in the forest!
They advance expecting nothing!
Be vevy vevy quiet...
SHIT THEY SAW US! HOW COULD IT BE!?
But they are confused as fuck and don't know what to do.
They decided to... charge us with archers.
And cataphracts...
Everything was going great but their general decided to join the fun.
Parthian general got poked to death.
Then we had to chase down the routers and battle was over. Well, one unit of "ambushers" got annihilated but I think that seeing phalangitai hidden in small pack of trees was worth it.
Parthians somehow managed to pull army from their asses and besiege Ubermaschen-Alexandria.
But garrison there should be able do deal with it and we are marching at Asaak (which we lost in first episode).
PTOLEMAIOI NAVAL INVASION! RUN FOR YOUR LIVEES
Parthians decided to assault the walls of Ubermanschen-Alexandria. Good luck.
Our mighty Basileus Antiochus Syriakos died of old age.
Antiochus Syriakos is no more, all hail Antiochus II Theos!
Fortunately I send another family member with Basileus knowing that Antiochus is old fart and might drop dead any moment. So our army near Asaak still have leadership.
We have fucking Baktrian exodus here. They are not at war with us so I won't attack them because we don't have army near to finish the job.
Halikarnassos decided to surrender without a fight and pay homage to Basileus... Aaaand into slavery they go.
Kalinkos Syriakos, son of Theodoros (now Antiochus II Theos) come of age. We will keep him in his father army to give him some experience and then maybe we will make him leader of our new army we are recruiting near Alexandreia.
And this new army is a very special army. For the first time we will have our own elite troops - Argyraspides (Silver Shields). It's about time because we already fought with Ptolemaioi elite (Something Agema something ptolemaioi) and those buggers were tought. Now we have our own shiny little primadonnas.
Asaak surrendered without a fight and we enslaved the shit out of it.
And then we moved our capital to Seleukeia again which resulted in wave of butthurt throughout whole asia minot.
Sarpedon finally is reaching Ptolamais-Theron.
Oh, and ptolemaic invasion fleet is just chilling near red sea.
Whoa, I didn't expect that. Ptolemaioi actually hualed their asses from Ptolemais-Theron to stop Sarpedon.
You fool! you won't stop most experienced Seleukid army with bunch ofniggers ethiopians!
Goddamit, ethiopian shamans brought sand storm upon us!
But that won't help them much.
We have case of extreme clusterfuck on our left flank so I decided to send Sarpedon there to figure out what's going on.
While our brave phalangitai were poking the shit of many indigenous cultures we managed to kill ptolemaioi general.
And the result is explenation why Ethiopians always win marathons.
We didn't managed to catch them all (they are Ethiopians man, they haul asses) but we killed quite a few.
Epidemy of hurting butts is out of control. We have to move our capital again.
Edessa seems to be sweet spot for now.
We build small fleet of kayaks to ferry our army to Salamis and be done with Ptolemaioi once and for all.
Parthians are not building any siege equipment here so they obviously try to starve our garrison. So Sally can't wait, or it will be too late, as we're are walking on by...
Sally was sucessful and Parthian soul slides away, but don't look back in anger I heard you say... Ok, I'm done.
Meanwhile our "allies" are walzting around Asia minor again. Macedonia is getting their asses royally kicked by Epirotes and Koinnon Helleinon so they probably look for some easy conquest here.
I planned to go around this parthian army leaving it behind like we did with them at Ekbatana. But bastards got fucking Catahpracts so leaving them alone is no-no. We won't attacked them yet because they are standing on hills.
Ptolemaioi ran out of food and attacked our small army besieging them. I will do this battle myself because family member in this city is actually their faction leader.
Holy crap, Polemaic king is last living egyptian unit on the field and he's fighting whole unit of Phalangitai alone.
I told them to stop poking him and just smah his head with an axe.
Goodnight sweet king.
ENSLAVE!
Hibis surrendered without a fight... ENSLAVE.
Theodoros finally stopped dicking around on Olympiad and is sieging Halikarnassos.
Oh, we won't have to attack this army afterall, they decided to attack us.
Pretty standard deployment... but there is special sneaky surprise.
We prepared sneaky ambush for parthians. Yup, guys wielding 21 foot long pikes are "hidden" in the forest!
They advance expecting nothing!
Be vevy vevy quiet...
SHIT THEY SAW US! HOW COULD IT BE!?
But they are confused as fuck and don't know what to do.
They decided to... charge us with archers.
And cataphracts...
Everything was going great but their general decided to join the fun.
Parthian general got poked to death.
Then we had to chase down the routers and battle was over. Well, one unit of "ambushers" got annihilated but I think that seeing phalangitai hidden in small pack of trees was worth it.
Parthians somehow managed to pull army from their asses and besiege Ubermaschen-Alexandria.
But garrison there should be able do deal with it and we are marching at Asaak (which we lost in first episode).
PTOLEMAIOI NAVAL INVASION! RUN FOR YOUR LIVEES
Parthians decided to assault the walls of Ubermanschen-Alexandria. Good luck.
Our mighty Basileus Antiochus Syriakos died of old age.
Antiochus Syriakos is no more, all hail Antiochus II Theos!
Fortunately I send another family member with Basileus knowing that Antiochus is old fart and might drop dead any moment. So our army near Asaak still have leadership.
We have fucking Baktrian exodus here. They are not at war with us so I won't attack them because we don't have army near to finish the job.
Halikarnassos decided to surrender without a fight and pay homage to Basileus... Aaaand into slavery they go.
Kalinkos Syriakos, son of Theodoros (now Antiochus II Theos) come of age. We will keep him in his father army to give him some experience and then maybe we will make him leader of our new army we are recruiting near Alexandreia.
And this new army is a very special army. For the first time we will have our own elite troops - Argyraspides (Silver Shields). It's about time because we already fought with Ptolemaioi elite (Something Agema something ptolemaioi) and those buggers were tought. Now we have our own shiny little primadonnas.
Asaak surrendered without a fight and we enslaved the shit out of it.
And then we moved our capital to Seleukeia again which resulted in wave of butthurt throughout whole asia minot.
Sarpedon finally is reaching Ptolamais-Theron.
Oh, and ptolemaic invasion fleet is just chilling near red sea.
Whoa, I didn't expect that. Ptolemaioi actually hualed their asses from Ptolemais-Theron to stop Sarpedon.
You fool! you won't stop most experienced Seleukid army with bunch of
Goddamit, ethiopian shamans brought sand storm upon us!
But that won't help them much.
We have case of extreme clusterfuck on our left flank so I decided to send Sarpedon there to figure out what's going on.
While our brave phalangitai were poking the shit of many indigenous cultures we managed to kill ptolemaioi general.
And the result is explenation why Ethiopians always win marathons.
We didn't managed to catch them all (they are Ethiopians man, they haul asses) but we killed quite a few.
Epidemy of hurting butts is out of control. We have to move our capital again.
Edessa seems to be sweet spot for now.
We build small fleet of kayaks to ferry our army to Salamis and be done with Ptolemaioi once and for all.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 17 End of an Era and Beginning of New One.
Parthia decided to siege our army in Asaak with this bunch of goofballs and we have to make them go away.
Well, AI shoot the shit out of us with arrows while we were going through the gate and then just left the field. I must say that I would never expect RTW AI to do something that smart.
Fuck, Ptolemaioi got Elephants in Ptolemais-Theron. Those are just forest elephants but still.
Seleukeia SMART!
Ok, one season later we are no longer SMART!
This is great day for Sarpedon, finally he have a chance to kick Ptolemaioi out of his satrapy.
But we have to watch out for dem elephants.
fak.
Kill them for fucks sake!
Throw pointy shit at them, it's the only way!
They are running towards the gate! tell Phalangitai to get the fuck out from there!
Join the army they said...
- They are enraged, they cannot be stopped!
- Keep poking!
Ok, dem elephants were the only interesting part of this battle so it's only thing I'm going to show you.
Hey, those Persian archers that got completely fucked up by elephants (only 1 guy survived) are almost completely healed. Oh, and this song is creepy as fuck for some reason.
ENSLAVE.
Our newest army is complete and we are going to put them on our kayaks and send to Salamis to end Ptolemaic threat once and for all.
And we have a problem in eastern front. Basically, we overextended ourselves. We can't recruit reliable garrisons here and our eastern army is too weak to leave some soldiers behind and continue our offensive. We have to wait for Antiochus II Theos to stop dicking around in asia minor.
Baktrian's left our land ane are going gods knows where.
Ok, Hegemonides army is on our kayaks and it's time for our island invasion.
Ptolemaioi realised that putting their navy and army near red sea won't help them win this war at all and are trying to save their last bastion.
Parthians being parthians.
Shieeet, I think they could break our meatgrinder this time.
Yup, fucking cathaphracts, maang, Armoured mounted RAPE.
Dagnabbit, worst nomads took our Zadrakata again. This aggression will not stand, Man.
But our kayaks invasion is sucesfull and Hegemonides is ready to assault walls of Salamis next season.
Meanwhile, Antiochus the Sequel is taking Sinope by sturm because garrison there is crap so no point in starving it.
You know what? they are happy as hell so let's just occupy them.
Another Parthian attack.
And they have Cataphracts again, but only two (two guys, not two units).
Go back to your precious mongolia!
Ptolemaioi army landed... in asia minor. I have no words... whatever, they won't be a faction next turn anyway.
Enslave!
Ptolemaioi are no more. Now we have to deal with Hayasdan, Pahlava and Baktria (and then conquer some Eleutheroi land and whole of Greece). I decided to let eastern front "rest" a while, we will build some MIC's there and keep defending what we have. Meanwhile our armies should finish conquest of Asia minor and free cities of arabia and egypt. Then we will send armiy big enough to deal with Armenia, Parthia and Baktria in one thrust... or one poke.
Parthia decided to siege our army in Asaak with this bunch of goofballs and we have to make them go away.
Well, AI shoot the shit out of us with arrows while we were going through the gate and then just left the field. I must say that I would never expect RTW AI to do something that smart.
Fuck, Ptolemaioi got Elephants in Ptolemais-Theron. Those are just forest elephants but still.
Seleukeia SMART!
Ok, one season later we are no longer SMART!
This is great day for Sarpedon, finally he have a chance to kick Ptolemaioi out of his satrapy.
But we have to watch out for dem elephants.
fak.
Kill them for fucks sake!
Throw pointy shit at them, it's the only way!
They are running towards the gate! tell Phalangitai to get the fuck out from there!
Join the army they said...
- They are enraged, they cannot be stopped!
- Keep poking!
Ok, dem elephants were the only interesting part of this battle so it's only thing I'm going to show you.
Hey, those Persian archers that got completely fucked up by elephants (only 1 guy survived) are almost completely healed. Oh, and this song is creepy as fuck for some reason.
ENSLAVE.
Our newest army is complete and we are going to put them on our kayaks and send to Salamis to end Ptolemaic threat once and for all.
And we have a problem in eastern front. Basically, we overextended ourselves. We can't recruit reliable garrisons here and our eastern army is too weak to leave some soldiers behind and continue our offensive. We have to wait for Antiochus II Theos to stop dicking around in asia minor.
Baktrian's left our land ane are going gods knows where.
Ok, Hegemonides army is on our kayaks and it's time for our island invasion.
Ptolemaioi realised that putting their navy and army near red sea won't help them win this war at all and are trying to save their last bastion.
Parthians being parthians.
Shieeet, I think they could break our meatgrinder this time.
Yup, fucking cathaphracts, maang, Armoured mounted RAPE.
Dagnabbit, worst nomads took our Zadrakata again. This aggression will not stand, Man.
But our kayaks invasion is sucesfull and Hegemonides is ready to assault walls of Salamis next season.
Meanwhile, Antiochus the Sequel is taking Sinope by sturm because garrison there is crap so no point in starving it.
You know what? they are happy as hell so let's just occupy them.
Another Parthian attack.
And they have Cataphracts again, but only two (two guys, not two units).
Go back to your precious mongolia!
Ptolemaioi army landed... in asia minor. I have no words... whatever, they won't be a faction next turn anyway.
Enslave!
Ptolemaioi are no more. Now we have to deal with Hayasdan, Pahlava and Baktria (and then conquer some Eleutheroi land and whole of Greece). I decided to let eastern front "rest" a while, we will build some MIC's there and keep defending what we have. Meanwhile our armies should finish conquest of Asia minor and free cities of arabia and egypt. Then we will send armiy big enough to deal with Armenia, Parthia and Baktria in one thrust... or one poke.
You're an update-beast.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
You're an update-beast.
Or a no-life, but that's basically same thing.
Are you going to restore the Persian empire borders (Hellespont to Egypt to Bactria) first before attacking Romans in their turf?
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
You bloody mind reader... Well, to win we "only" have to restore Alexander's Empire but I thought that game of Rome Total War would not be a game of Rome Total War if we would not sacked Rome. So yes, first we are going to restore Alexander's Empire and then we are going to inavade Romani.
Kashmir Slippers
Magister
Does this mod require the base R:TW or the expansion to work? It looks worth trying.
Also bump.
Also bump.
Dayyālu
Arcane
Baseline Rome Total War 1.5. Expansion is optional.
And, Chosen and Beloved of the Gods, EB is not worth trying. EB is a a God amongst the Total War Games. It is the ultimate proof of love of History in vidya gaem form.
Any thing that CA has produced before or after (Weeeellll, bar Shogun 1 and Medieval 1) is not worthy of being even compared with EB. It has some stability problems and lacks polish in two or three points, but it is.... magnificent.
I know I sound like a rabid fanboy. But EB, for once, is worth it.
Yeah, EB is not "worth trying". It is the ultimate TW experience. Massive historygasm for historyfags, decent AI on the campaign map (of course except diplomacy - that's unfixable, I think), and even smarter in battles. Don't "try" it. Play it!
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 18 - We Blobbed... A litle.
Like I said in previous update, our offensive in the east is stopped and we are going to only defend ourselves for some time.
While we develop our MICs in the east, our western armies shall conquer every free city of arabia and egypt.
This will be a field test of our newest, shiny army.
We have Argyraspides, who are Pezhetairoi on steroids.
And Thorakitai, who are our shock troops and fights pretty much like Roman Triari (throw shit and then charge).
Let's see if our investment was worth it (Which means that I will se if it was worth it and then I'll tell you).
Ok, during this battle I learned that if we had best infantry in the known world before, now we have EVEN BESTEST! but our cavalry is still not worth fertilizer their horses produce so we have to do something about it.
We slaughtered eleutheroi army and garrison and now we can just enter the city.
Enslaving everyone of course.
Now we shall conquer city of douchebags that attacked us in episode number 2.
Dammit, I didn't noticed that Nikaia is under siege by Epeiros and we are going to lose it.
Now I will vent my frustration on some turbanheads.
Or not, their reinforcements never arrived so we just fought tiny stack of 400 dudes.
I decided to ask roman army what's up. They are still running around with Camillan troops, bloody upstarts.
Many seasons have passed and we managed to build basic MICs in the east and now we can continue our offensive (or, actually, start taking our shit back) and leave half decent garrison in Ass-sack.
Ok, turbanheads in bostra ran out of Kebab and are forced to sally.
JEEEZUS...
This city was inhabited by some fucking lost tribe of semitic spartans. They haven't done much damage to us but it took me almost hour to mow those bastards down.
There will be good shekel for them in slave market.
I tried not to rush things and siege Pathians slowly but they managed to ninja'd some small stack here and they attacked us hoping to lift the siege.
They have mostly archers so I will try to charge them before they will do too much damage to us.
Yeah you bastards, we are back!
This army have mostly pandotapoi phalangitai who make for very nice garrison troops but they overstayed their welcome in our field armies long time ago. But this is only thing we can recruit in this part of our empire.
Native phalanx is a shit phalanx, but it's still a phalanx.
- Ivaroi Bonereikos
Our only decent phalangitai got surrounded and are being slaughtered by barbarians. Their sacrifice won't be forgotten (but it was pointless because we pretty much already won).
We managed to save our klerouchoi! Well, some of them...
We won and our 7 brave klereouchoi are still alive and well.
But too many parthians managed to get away so the siege will continue.
Ammonion surrendered and there is absolutely no point in enslaving them becuse there is only 425 guys in this shithole.
It's time to show Epeirotes how much Antiochus II don't approve of messing around in his asia minor.
Garrison is quite 'meh'. They have some phalangitai but fortunately just levy ones and not their Epeirote Elite Phalangites because I have bad memories of fighting those guys (not in this campaign of course).
Oh, I decided to turn grass back on becasue it makes things look less bland and don't lag my computer as much as I thought (Actually, it doesn't lag at all which is strange, you have to remember that I'm playing this on a toaster).
They have mostly celts here, and badly armored celts at it. Celtic factions have acess to best armors* (They invented chainmail so no wonder) but only higher tier troops have those and even those suffer from biggest weakness of celtic troops - terrible morale.
* Only iberian storm troopers (Dosidataskeli) have better armor than heavy celtic chainmail. Apparently Iberians found a sneaky way to sew scale armor with chainlinks and armored their shock troops with this abomination. Final result was infantry armored heavier than cataphracts... and Arche Seleukeia ripped off this idea and we have similar unit:
Thorakitai Agematos Basilikou (Hellenic Elite Spearmen)
"...Historically, the Dosidataskeli were feared enough to be written about by Greek historians. Stories of their fierceness was enough to inspire the Seleucids to design their own unit that was frighteningly similar to them and to export the mail veil east, where it was used by the Parthians. They were exported from Iberia and were instrumental in the first unifications of Ireland as well."
Whe I first saw them I was liek, ERMAGHERD HUSKERLS! DO WANT.
But those yahoos don't have iberian power armors or even chainmails, all they have for defence is layer of butter so our archers slaughter the shit out of them.
That's the least intimidating phalanx formation I ever saw. What next Pyrrhus? putting your elepehants behind your phalanx formation hahaha?!... oh wait, actually we did that, nevermind...
And then we poked, we poked until we could poke no more (grass works so that's all you have to see from this battle).
We will occupy it because that was our city (Not that it stopped us from enslaving Zadrakata).
Theodoros Antiochus II Theos is quite nice commander now, but let's give his son a chance. We will put Antiochus in Nikaia and make his son leader of this army and send him at Pergamon (Because Pergamon is still free even though it was assaulted by Maceodnians and Epirotes many, many times).
Like I said in previous update, our offensive in the east is stopped and we are going to only defend ourselves for some time.
While we develop our MICs in the east, our western armies shall conquer every free city of arabia and egypt.
This will be a field test of our newest, shiny army.
We have Argyraspides, who are Pezhetairoi on steroids.
And Thorakitai, who are our shock troops and fights pretty much like Roman Triari (throw shit and then charge).
Let's see if our investment was worth it (Which means that I will se if it was worth it and then I'll tell you).
Ok, during this battle I learned that if we had best infantry in the known world before, now we have EVEN BESTEST! but our cavalry is still not worth fertilizer their horses produce so we have to do something about it.
We slaughtered eleutheroi army and garrison and now we can just enter the city.
Enslaving everyone of course.
Now we shall conquer city of douchebags that attacked us in episode number 2.
Dammit, I didn't noticed that Nikaia is under siege by Epeiros and we are going to lose it.
Now I will vent my frustration on some turbanheads.
Or not, their reinforcements never arrived so we just fought tiny stack of 400 dudes.
I decided to ask roman army what's up. They are still running around with Camillan troops, bloody upstarts.
Many seasons have passed and we managed to build basic MICs in the east and now we can continue our offensive (or, actually, start taking our shit back) and leave half decent garrison in Ass-sack.
Ok, turbanheads in bostra ran out of Kebab and are forced to sally.
JEEEZUS...
This city was inhabited by some fucking lost tribe of semitic spartans. They haven't done much damage to us but it took me almost hour to mow those bastards down.
There will be good shekel for them in slave market.
I tried not to rush things and siege Pathians slowly but they managed to ninja'd some small stack here and they attacked us hoping to lift the siege.
They have mostly archers so I will try to charge them before they will do too much damage to us.
Yeah you bastards, we are back!
This army have mostly pandotapoi phalangitai who make for very nice garrison troops but they overstayed their welcome in our field armies long time ago. But this is only thing we can recruit in this part of our empire.
Native phalanx is a shit phalanx, but it's still a phalanx.
- Ivaroi Bonereikos
Our only decent phalangitai got surrounded and are being slaughtered by barbarians. Their sacrifice won't be forgotten (but it was pointless because we pretty much already won).
We managed to save our klerouchoi! Well, some of them...
We won and our 7 brave klereouchoi are still alive and well.
But too many parthians managed to get away so the siege will continue.
Ammonion surrendered and there is absolutely no point in enslaving them becuse there is only 425 guys in this shithole.
It's time to show Epeirotes how much Antiochus II don't approve of messing around in his asia minor.
Garrison is quite 'meh'. They have some phalangitai but fortunately just levy ones and not their Epeirote Elite Phalangites because I have bad memories of fighting those guys (not in this campaign of course).
Oh, I decided to turn grass back on becasue it makes things look less bland and don't lag my computer as much as I thought (Actually, it doesn't lag at all which is strange, you have to remember that I'm playing this on a toaster).
They have mostly celts here, and badly armored celts at it. Celtic factions have acess to best armors* (They invented chainmail so no wonder) but only higher tier troops have those and even those suffer from biggest weakness of celtic troops - terrible morale.
* Only iberian storm troopers (Dosidataskeli) have better armor than heavy celtic chainmail. Apparently Iberians found a sneaky way to sew scale armor with chainlinks and armored their shock troops with this abomination. Final result was infantry armored heavier than cataphracts... and Arche Seleukeia ripped off this idea and we have similar unit:
Thorakitai Agematos Basilikou (Hellenic Elite Spearmen)
"...Historically, the Dosidataskeli were feared enough to be written about by Greek historians. Stories of their fierceness was enough to inspire the Seleucids to design their own unit that was frighteningly similar to them and to export the mail veil east, where it was used by the Parthians. They were exported from Iberia and were instrumental in the first unifications of Ireland as well."
Whe I first saw them I was liek, ERMAGHERD HUSKERLS! DO WANT.
But those yahoos don't have iberian power armors or even chainmails, all they have for defence is layer of butter so our archers slaughter the shit out of them.
That's the least intimidating phalanx formation I ever saw. What next Pyrrhus? putting your elepehants behind your phalanx formation hahaha?!... oh wait, actually we did that, nevermind...
And then we poked, we poked until we could poke no more (grass works so that's all you have to see from this battle).
We will occupy it because that was our city (Not that it stopped us from enslaving Zadrakata).
Kashmir Slippers
Magister
Terribly sorry. I did not know the gravity of my sin.
I would love to see if I am worthy of playing such an excellent, deep-looking mod. I appreciate the suggestions.
Sorry for hijacking the thread, though. Please continue.
I would love to see if I am worthy of playing such an excellent, deep-looking mod. I appreciate the suggestions.
Sorry for hijacking the thread, though. Please continue.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Do it you faggot! There are many mods for Rome Total War but Europa Barbarorum is special.
No problem, every comment is appreciated.
So, what's left to conquer in Asia Minor?
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
After new update? Thankfully nothing.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
bumpity
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
bumpity
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
bumpity
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
almost there
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