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Completed Let's Play Europa Barbarorum (Sweboz)
- Thread starter Ivar the Boner
- Start date
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 35 MeatGrinder
We have to keep removing those annoying full-stacks in our land. I think this is last greek army but there is carthaginian one in Iberia.
Greeks have strange habit of attacking while they should be defending. I'm all for them doing that, it makes things easier.
Enemy general charged our left flank. Normally it would be not an issue but greek general bodyguard are bunch of badasses. Fortunately we have Woithiz Watha near, they don't have AP weapons but 20 attack is 20 attack.
Most dangerous greek units are being kept in one place so I decided to order our right flank to charge while rest remains in their positions.
Koinnon Hellenon CAN mount ridiculously good armies but in this campaign they insist in spamming Hoplitai Haploi and those guys can't do shit if there is no general near to boost their morale.
We sent our cavalry after fleeing enemy infantry and then just encircled greek general and phalanx unit.
I doubt they learned their lesson losing 5 full stacks and gaining absolutely nothing so we will keep Illyria well garrisoned.
We've dealt with our minor greek problem so we can start doing actually important shit.
Ok, this is not very important but cool nontheless.
SWEBOZ RULE ZE WAVES!
Singidunum and Szermisegethuza are under siege now Getai will truly now how stupid it was to attack us (it's actually first war that we did not start).
Seriously? you try to relive the city with those guys? I'ts not gonna happen.
Thanks for the city!
Singidinum garrison ran out of food and is forced to sally forth.
They have some good units here but there is no chance for AI to sally sucessfuly.
And we can start our enslave-fest.
We can recruit Scordisci Elite Infantry. I learned to respect those guys during my short-lived Romani campaign long ago when one unit of those guys slaughtered 4 units of Hastati which I sent at them because I didn't bothered to check what Scordisci deal is, I thought they are normal swordsmen. But no, they are rape incarnate.
... That's unexpected. I would actually like Baktria to become super-power and keep Ptolemaioi busy.
SWEBOZ RULE ZE WAVES!
Also, I noticed that when Gawjam-Bastarnoz rebelled to us we gained ridiculous unit of Falxmen, 2 gold chevrons of experience and gold wapon/armor upgrade which you simply cannot have by normal means.
We keep eastern offensive rolling. Getai don't even seem to put any effort into defending themselves. Maybe they wan't us to kill them?
Our Army of Doom and Despair (tm) reached source of all evil in the world - homeland of Boii. Next turn we shall try to use our (or actually, yours) fort strategy.
But first we will take Naissos. I will do this battle myself because because aut-resolve would probably lose it.
I decided to do some risky shit. I managed to get our spy inside Eburonum and he opened gates for us.
This won't be pretty but we have to try anyway.
We have second army under AI command so won't have to deal with all enemies at once.
But still, this is a siege, we are at huge disadvantage.
Well, shit. Our guys routed and we have to retreat.
Seriously, fuck this gate. Let's try to get through other one.
Boii saw through our bullshit and managed to bring some defenders here.
But we can use our Guard Mode hax.
We are running out of time so there is no chance for us to take Eburonum. But we have to kill as many defenders as we can.
... Which won't be that many.
Well, that was fucking stupid idea.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN!
DIDN'T WORKED!
We killed Boii general so he respawned. Fortunately we severly weakened Eburonum garrison so we will try this shit again soon.
We have to keep removing those annoying full-stacks in our land. I think this is last greek army but there is carthaginian one in Iberia.
Greeks have strange habit of attacking while they should be defending. I'm all for them doing that, it makes things easier.
Enemy general charged our left flank. Normally it would be not an issue but greek general bodyguard are bunch of badasses. Fortunately we have Woithiz Watha near, they don't have AP weapons but 20 attack is 20 attack.
Most dangerous greek units are being kept in one place so I decided to order our right flank to charge while rest remains in their positions.
Koinnon Hellenon CAN mount ridiculously good armies but in this campaign they insist in spamming Hoplitai Haploi and those guys can't do shit if there is no general near to boost their morale.
We sent our cavalry after fleeing enemy infantry and then just encircled greek general and phalanx unit.
I doubt they learned their lesson losing 5 full stacks and gaining absolutely nothing so we will keep Illyria well garrisoned.
We've dealt with our minor greek problem so we can start doing actually important shit.
Ok, this is not very important but cool nontheless.
SWEBOZ RULE ZE WAVES!
Singidunum and Szermisegethuza are under siege now Getai will truly now how stupid it was to attack us (it's actually first war that we did not start).
Seriously? you try to relive the city with those guys? I'ts not gonna happen.
Thanks for the city!
Singidinum garrison ran out of food and is forced to sally forth.
They have some good units here but there is no chance for AI to sally sucessfuly.
And we can start our enslave-fest.
We can recruit Scordisci Elite Infantry. I learned to respect those guys during my short-lived Romani campaign long ago when one unit of those guys slaughtered 4 units of Hastati which I sent at them because I didn't bothered to check what Scordisci deal is, I thought they are normal swordsmen. But no, they are rape incarnate.
... That's unexpected. I would actually like Baktria to become super-power and keep Ptolemaioi busy.
SWEBOZ RULE ZE WAVES!
Also, I noticed that when Gawjam-Bastarnoz rebelled to us we gained ridiculous unit of Falxmen, 2 gold chevrons of experience and gold wapon/armor upgrade which you simply cannot have by normal means.
We keep eastern offensive rolling. Getai don't even seem to put any effort into defending themselves. Maybe they wan't us to kill them?
Our Army of Doom and Despair (tm) reached source of all evil in the world - homeland of Boii. Next turn we shall try to use our (or actually, yours) fort strategy.
But first we will take Naissos. I will do this battle myself because because aut-resolve would probably lose it.
I decided to do some risky shit. I managed to get our spy inside Eburonum and he opened gates for us.
This won't be pretty but we have to try anyway.
We have second army under AI command so won't have to deal with all enemies at once.
But still, this is a siege, we are at huge disadvantage.
Well, shit. Our guys routed and we have to retreat.
Seriously, fuck this gate. Let's try to get through other one.
Boii saw through our bullshit and managed to bring some defenders here.
But we can use our Guard Mode hax.
We are running out of time so there is no chance for us to take Eburonum. But we have to kill as many defenders as we can.
... Which won't be that many.
Well, that was fucking stupid idea.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN!
DIDN'T WORKED!
We killed Boii general so he respawned. Fortunately we severly weakened Eburonum garrison so we will try this shit again soon.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Don't panic Fafnir! I GOT THIS SHIT!
Eburonum garrison is down to half strength and I decided to screw "balanced armies" and recruited full stack of our Elite heavy infantry and Speudogordoz so I'm pretty sure we will be able to conquer Boii next time*. Unfortunately update may be "delayed" because It's incredibly hot today and I'm blessed with room that have windows facing directly where the sun shines.
* Unless our spy screws up, our best spy have only 65% chance of getting into Eburonum and 40% chance of opening gates for us.
Eburonum garrison is down to half strength and I decided to screw "balanced armies" and recruited full stack of our Elite heavy infantry and Speudogordoz so I'm pretty sure we will be able to conquer Boii next time*. Unfortunately update may be "delayed" because It's incredibly hot today and I'm blessed with room that have windows facing directly where the sun shines.
* Unless our spy screws up, our best spy have only 65% chance of getting into Eburonum and 40% chance of opening gates for us.
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
Update 36 Sweboz Work is Never Done
I decided to attack Lucarottea even though Getai have few armies near. They will probably keep sending one army at a time so in worst case we will have to retreat.
They had extremely experienced soldiers here so we had more losses than I would have liked.
... Let's just retreat.
And now let's finish destruction of Carthaginian navy.
It says "ships sunk 0" but trust me, carthaginian ship went down. I don't think it was necessary but I thought it will be extremely cool to see former half-nomads buldings some kayaks and just destroying biggest fleet in the world. It was very satisfying. Also:
SWEBOZ RULE ZE WAVES!
Thank you Aigilaz, you are best king ever. Unfortunately he is getting kinda old and his second son will soon take over.
War in the east continues and Getai are as incompetent at defending themselves as ever.
Getai from Lucarottea decided to chase our army. Fortunately our general retreated to river crossing... IT'S NOT MY FAULT, I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!
And Getai army went POOF! as enemy armies tend to when they fight us on river crossings.
AI turn is over and we can enslave Sardike thanks to Getai failure to relieve it.
Armenia is dead. Now Ptolemaioi may be bored so it's only matter of time when they start going apeshit on other factions.
Nanthaeburaz recieved reinforcements and he can try to take Lucarottea again.
That's a very potato stack.
We fought here already and I don't like this place all that much. Doesn't matter though, I'm pretty sure we got this.
Non-Potato army attacked as first and got completely annihilated by glorious storm of javelins.
Now it's slav time! awww yeaah
Our soldiers fear cannibalistic potato but we keep general near to boost their morale.
They have one unit of Agema Orditon and potato spearmen are slightly better than our thracians here but we still have some good units and Guard Mode hax.
Commonwealth of Both Potatoes a little bit early.
But Kraut > Potato or Kvass and we just started mass-rout among our enemies.
I added few Dugunthiz to our Bastarnoz rebellion stack and decided to send it at Olbia. That's as far east as we are going to expand because I don't want to border Ptolemaioi.
Also, we almost finished recruiting our ridiculous anti-boii army. We will start process of conquering Eboronum just like we did (or failed to do) before, we shall send two full-stacks at it and if they fail our faction heir will lead this elite doom stack. And if that fails... we will do it again.
More failed Getai counter-offensives.
I would fucking give them those 16k mnai but I know they will attack as again anyway. So, nope.
Then our Bastarnoz destroyed one Getai army and are sieging Olbia.
Getai showed off their incompetence again and gave us Buridava with another fail-relieve.
Also, I just noticed that taking Olbia will make us border Ptolemaioi... let's not do that and go somwhere else.
Pontos asked us for alliance and we agreed, because why not? This alliance also ended our war with Carthage.
Our spy manage to get inside Eburonum again but failed to open gates for us, we are fucked.
Then we payed Greeks 16k mnai for ceasefire and trade right because fuck it, we can afford it.
Well, my pc can't handle this battle anyway so... autoresolve!
... I'm speachless.
FUCK YOU BOII!
And there I was, wondering "where the fuck is my victory screen?" and then EB was like: "YOU HAVE TO DO THIS SHIT AGAIN WITH CARRODUNUM LOLOLOLOLO!11!1".
I decided to attack Lucarottea even though Getai have few armies near. They will probably keep sending one army at a time so in worst case we will have to retreat.
They had extremely experienced soldiers here so we had more losses than I would have liked.
... Let's just retreat.
And now let's finish destruction of Carthaginian navy.
It says "ships sunk 0" but trust me, carthaginian ship went down. I don't think it was necessary but I thought it will be extremely cool to see former half-nomads buldings some kayaks and just destroying biggest fleet in the world. It was very satisfying. Also:
SWEBOZ RULE ZE WAVES!
Thank you Aigilaz, you are best king ever. Unfortunately he is getting kinda old and his second son will soon take over.
War in the east continues and Getai are as incompetent at defending themselves as ever.
Getai from Lucarottea decided to chase our army. Fortunately our general retreated to river crossing... IT'S NOT MY FAULT, I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!
And Getai army went POOF! as enemy armies tend to when they fight us on river crossings.
AI turn is over and we can enslave Sardike thanks to Getai failure to relieve it.
Armenia is dead. Now Ptolemaioi may be bored so it's only matter of time when they start going apeshit on other factions.
Nanthaeburaz recieved reinforcements and he can try to take Lucarottea again.
That's a very potato stack.
We fought here already and I don't like this place all that much. Doesn't matter though, I'm pretty sure we got this.
Non-Potato army attacked as first and got completely annihilated by glorious storm of javelins.
Now it's slav time! awww yeaah
Our soldiers fear cannibalistic potato but we keep general near to boost their morale.
They have one unit of Agema Orditon and potato spearmen are slightly better than our thracians here but we still have some good units and Guard Mode hax.
Commonwealth of Both Potatoes a little bit early.
But Kraut > Potato or Kvass and we just started mass-rout among our enemies.
I added few Dugunthiz to our Bastarnoz rebellion stack and decided to send it at Olbia. That's as far east as we are going to expand because I don't want to border Ptolemaioi.
Also, we almost finished recruiting our ridiculous anti-boii army. We will start process of conquering Eboronum just like we did (or failed to do) before, we shall send two full-stacks at it and if they fail our faction heir will lead this elite doom stack. And if that fails... we will do it again.
More failed Getai counter-offensives.
I would fucking give them those 16k mnai but I know they will attack as again anyway. So, nope.
Then our Bastarnoz destroyed one Getai army and are sieging Olbia.
Getai showed off their incompetence again and gave us Buridava with another fail-relieve.
Also, I just noticed that taking Olbia will make us border Ptolemaioi... let's not do that and go somwhere else.
Pontos asked us for alliance and we agreed, because why not? This alliance also ended our war with Carthage.
Our spy manage to get inside Eburonum again but failed to open gates for us, we are fucked.
Then we payed Greeks 16k mnai for ceasefire and trade right because fuck it, we can afford it.
Well, my pc can't handle this battle anyway so... autoresolve!
... I'm speachless.
FUCK YOU BOII!
And there I was, wondering "where the fuck is my victory screen?" and then EB was like: "YOU HAVE TO DO THIS SHIT AGAIN WITH CARRODUNUM LOLOLOLOLO!11!1".
Ackermanus
Educated
Serves you right for making me reinstall this after I thought I was done with RTW for good. And having to suffer through endless turns of dept as the Lusotannan only to find out my units are pretty crappy (especially the general's bodyguard). Anger.
Anyway, he who destroys an impregnable rebel city with respawning stacks of doom destroys another easily. Right?
Anyway, he who destroys an impregnable rebel city with respawning stacks of doom destroys another easily. Right?
Merkwürdigliebe
Arcane
That was glorious, continue or are you done?
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
We still have to take Carrodunum for at least one turn so I'm not done yet. But there may be problems with further updates because I won't have access to my main rig for a week or two and my secondary PC can't handle EB at all.
Chill out. We'll be patient.
The usual Codex reaction to delays!
Ivar the Boner
Arcane
I still can't update this LP so I brought you picture of Fafnir appearing in my Soulblighter LP (Dwarven ghosts were not under our control so I couldn't manually change their names, this is complete coincidence)
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