I guess the game involutarily "rewarded" me for delaying an update for so long, in the end, as you'll see. If this was Warhammer 40k I'd say Tzeentch was pulling some strings, because really... I'll pretend most of these HERETICS are Satanic cults because considering how tolerant Jerusalem became, there is no other explanation
cool and grimdark enough.
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Gog et Magog, plus Horus Haeresis
Schwarze Sonne
Jerusalem has only expanded and grown since the 15th century, but on the other hand, their economy didn't. The Empire suffers from crippling inflation, ruining their chances of ever catching up in technology to their more advanced neighbors, and there is no prospect of this improving, for their terrible economic situation is such that they have no choice but to keep minting more and more to prevent bankrupcy. Their best bet, in something whose rewards will only come in a century later, is to launch a massive colonial program for the sake of making the empire rich enough to support a standing army mighty enough to defend it against the many enemies, both inside and outside.
And where all outside enemies have been defeated, inside, the heretics, heathens and traitors have gained too much ground already while the armies of the Imperium fought in foreign lands. SUFFER NOT THE HERETIC, THE HEATHEN AND THE TRAITOR.
Wealthy lands are found in South Africa, which becomes the target of the first mass colonization project by the Imperium, as no American land found so far has as much potential in bringing wealth as Cape does.
In spite of all the new tolerance policies of the Imperium, the degree of HERESY! openly rebelling against the legitimate ruled has reached the unbereable. The acts and blaphemies of the heretical are comitting in the lands they advance through are so disgusting they are better left unmentioned.
If they knew what was truly behind all this HERESY! treason and heathen revolts going on JUST AS PLANNED... Lucky for them, the true culprits would only show themselves for real during the 41st millennium.
Looks like a chain of islands in the New World was being colonized by the devilists of Iberia. It was ripe with wealth, but Jerusalem lacked any naval bases close enough to colonize the unclaimed Antilles and Caribbean themselves, and South Africa also seemed more promising. Some claimed they found traces of gold and diamonds, but these claims were yet to be confirmed.
There were too many traitors, and the HERESY! was deeper and have corrupted far more people than they ever expected. Depleted by decades of wars, the armies of Jerusalem were too few and dispersed to crush them all at once. Cairo was the first city to be corrupted by the hordes of traitor legions, and the stability of the Imperium is greatly threatened by this development. The Lost and Damned must burn in Hell!
DEUS VULT!
Emboldened by the rise of HERESY! another traitors dare to declare himself as a pretender to the title of Emprah. They shall all die, for the Imperium of Jerusalem already overcame worse than that.
The most dangerous of the traitors were the towelhead hordes in Aden, due to the threat of it defecting to their savage countries. Thus, even as HERESY was gaining ground, all priority was first at annihilating such worst traitors.
The colonization of South Africa began, although most of the expeditions perished to accidents, disease and machete rape gangs before they could succeed. Civilization will expand through the darkest continent. Further attempts at mass colonization of South Africa will proceed later.
In a difference from previous colonial policies, this time a diplomatic approach is chosen, in part because of the tribes in this region are a bit more willing to not react violently to the colonization, in the hopes that eventually the primates will be enlightened by Christianity and their souls saved.
A very strange "comet" was sighted in the distant vastness of the unreachable ocean of stars, and upon its sighting, many began to preach apocalyptic prophecies about ITZ. This didn't help at all with the already fragile stability of Jerusalem, while the heretical and heathen legions continued to pose the greatest internal threat Jerusalem has ever faced in her entire history. To make things worse, the comet only helped with the virulent and despicable spread of the odious HERESY!
From India, more Crusaders are summoned back to the mainland to fight back heathens, heretics and traitors, and they achieve great success over Persia, crushing a vast legion of Mujahideen, and now they prepared to exterminate all these traitors without mercy.
More traitors, emboldened by the temporary victories of the others, rise in open rebellion against the Empire. Many begin to suggest it is time to implement drastic measures and restore the dreaded Ordo Malleus to purge the unclean for once and all from the Imperium, but the Emperor, aware of the technological situation of Jerusalem, completely refused to listen to such ideas, believing that this scum would all be put in their place by his armies.
Even in face of crumbling stability, mass treason and heresy, the Empire continue its road towards modernity, establishing important laws to create an unified set of measures for weight, volume and other things as a means of improving the efficiency of both the government and productive enterprises.
In 1st of September of 1604, the worst possible thing that could have happened during this which was turning out to be the darkest decade in the entire history of Jerusalem just happened. The HERESY has infiltrated even the very throne room of the Imperium, and the once loyal Egyptian Castellan known as Horus stabbed the emperor, killing him instantly and leaving the fate of Jerusalem in the hands of a two years old girl, Maria de Lusignan, as now, while the traitors remained at large, the Imperium would face the hardships of over ten years of Regency.
The durka durkas and Asir won the battle, bolstering the morale of these worthless triators, as if the situation wasn't bad enough.
The rumors may be exaggerated, but in time the truth will be discovered. There are claims that in the cities that fell to this new wave of HERESY! that in this case there is no doubt about their nature, and this is not a mere schism or Christian sect refusing to recognize the authority of the Pope but still standing to the fundamentals of Christianity. What these HERETICS are doing according to the claims is not merely a mirror of the now gone Reformation, for HERESY in the now tolerant Jerusalem is far more serious than that. The refugees from the captured cities claime these traitors are openly worshipping Lucifer as their god, establishing and preaching Satan worship in the darkest and most evil cults to have ever tainted the Holy Land. The emperor has no doubt on the truthfulness of such claims. These cultists of Satan cannot be negotiated with, for to cede to their demands is to turn Jerusalem from Holy to fallen, devilist, the greatest possible victory for Satan since the forbidden fruit. That is completely out of question. This is an almost direct war between Heaven and Hell, and they shall win.
Never before the Empire has faced so many traitors at once, and their manpower is depleted, to make things worse. The Empire hangs on a thin thread, facing a serious threat of collapse. The devil's hands are clearly at work here.
Probably the filthy Slav pretender also sold his soul to Satan for this. Death to all traitors!
In Lebannon and Syria, the HERESY! reached massive levels. Some advisors suggested razing and slaughtering everyone believing there was no hope but EXCIDIUM to put an end to this plague, yet the Regency Council was hopeful they could crush this HERESY before it taints those provinces beyond repair.
The machete rapists are slaughtered again, but this is only one victory next to the advance of the many dozens of thousands of traitors.
Fortunately, the worst traitors were crushed, but the battle against the ragheads was far from over.
There were signs order was finally being restored, some of the traitors completely crushed and defeated, burned at the stake and now burning forever in Hell.
Another step of successful colonization in the promising South Africa. Now, just one step left to ensure the Colonia Africana Australis becomes contiguous.
Heathens and Heathen HERESY fight each other in Hamadan. The Imperial Forces march towards Hamadan as quickly as possible to take advantage of the battle to exterminate both.
Meanwhile, while Jerusalem was colonizing South Africa, the Eastern Roman Empire wasn't idle in the colonial race, taking control of the Ivory Coast in West Africa. Paradoxically, from the reports, the New World was being mostly neglected in comparison to Africa and the Indies for would-be colonizers and imperialists.
The Satanist HERESY! continue to spread like a plague out of control, their legions of twenty thousand or more devilists each too vast for the Imperium to fight while the more immediate threat of defection by those "patriots" remains at large.
In April of 1606, finally a combined army crushes the ragheads, finally taking a decisive step towards putting an end to all this treason. Now the cultists must be crushed, and prayers work to keep more traitors from rising while the HERESY is purged.
In face of the growing instability, of the rumors of devil worship and human sacrifices happening in the open in the lands the Empire lost to the traitor legions, a resurgence of paranoia and fanaticism happened, and in one of the provinces still under the control of the Empire, accusations began to be thrown wildly against women accused of witchcraft in Asir, which the Emperor found to be very absurd. Why search for enemies everywhere after they have shown themselves in the open? Thus, to protect the innocent, the Regent Emperor bans the practice of witch hunts, causing much furor among the zealous and dragging the stability of the Empire even worse, but on the other hand, helping the Imperium in the long term to become more innovative and close the technological gap it has suffered for so long.
Even with all the treason and legions at large, culture in Jerusalem flourished, for the Imperium is stronger than those who dare to betray it.
Niggers, Niggers never change.
And, with all the instability, the still long Regency, the chaos and the treason, the Imperium began to be seen by their long rivals and opportunists as a giant with feet of clay, ready to go down, and next to the HERESY the vultures began to circle over Jerusalem, ready to show their true colors.
Fortunately Scandinavia is distant, and Jerusalem still could achieve naval supremacy, crushing their arrogant bid for land in Africa. Dishonorable Vikings! Do they worship Satan in secret too? Nevetherless, it is entirely possible to crush them in a fair 1 vs. 1 war, and they will pay for this!
An Epic Age
When the thousand years are over, Satan will be released from his prison and will go out to deceive the nations in the four corners of the earth—Gog and Magog—and to gather them for battle. In number they are like the sand on the seashore.They marched across the breadth of the earth and surrounded the camp of God’s people, the city he loves.
Revelation 20:7-10
Heretics, Traitors, Heathens and now an entire band of vultures banding together in an attempt to crush the Imperium. This indeed is the Decade of the Vulture. Nevertheless, Jerusalem must prevail against Satan and his minions!
DEUS VULT!
Like puppets in the hand of the Devil, near every old enemy launches an authentic dogpile against the Holy Land to pursue their old grievances or new ambitions. Jerusalem will not falter in this darkest hour!
This makes no sense. Fucking stupid combat mechanics in EU3.
The fleet of Scandinavia outnumbers the Holy Fleet of Jerusalem. The situation is critical, but nevertheless, there is one and only one chance for Jerusalem to put a rapid end to this war: to achieve naval supremacy and blockaed Scandinavia, which seems outright impossible in face of the Scandinavian navy numerical superiority. Is this the beginning of a long decline of the Jerusalem Empire? Or will it become their finest hour again as they are besieged by heretics, traitors and old enemies at the same time and still will prevail?
The opportunistic ragheads in India will be taught a lesson, their technologically inferior armies were totally slaughtered without mercy, crushed and wiped out, and their very capital would be besieged now by the Crusaders in India.
DEUS VULT!
As much as seizing landing from such Heathen scum of Khandesh was desirable, Jerusalem couldn't afford to fight so many wars at so many different fronts against so many enemies at once. They had to seek peace, unfortunately, but these heathens were taught a leasson, slaughtered in the dozens of thousands for their arrogance.
A Scandinavian force invading South Africa was attacked, but the battle turned disastrous due to both the terrain advantage, numerical superiority of cavalry and technological advantage working against Jerusalem, and with some unlucky dice rolls to complete it. After this, a risky gambit is chosen instead, while the colonial garrisons hold their line with immense bravery against all odds.
Georgia continues to advance unopposed to the far east, but there is nothing the Empire could do. Their economy is a wreck, their manpower reserves continue depleted, the traitors and heretics continue to march triumphantly over many cities. All odds are against Jerusalem. May God help them.
The risky gambit is an invasion of the Georgian colonies in South America, followed by Classis Hierusalemica advancing boldly right to the Sound Toll, intent on completely blockading Scandinavia and achieving naval supremacy, in spite of the naval superiority of their foes. This was their last, best hope for a victory in all but name.
Some theologians are starting to take seriously the idea the Devil is manipulating the kings of the world to fight for him. Never before there was such a concerted effort to crush Jerusalem, and some began to refer to the Apocalyptic prophecies on the massed attack of "Gog and Magog" against the God's people. Considering the claims Satan worship is happening in the open and how bad things are going for Jerusalem, many believe in the claims this is the beginning of the end, as foretold in the Book of Revelation.
In desperation, the Glorious Classis Hierusalem sailed to the New World, hoping to deploy one of the larger armies of Jerusalem, then get them back and boldly launch an invasion against Scandinavia plus the blockade in the hopes of putting an end to this great war.
But the fleet was intercepted in high seas by the much larger Scandinavian fleet, and thus began one battle Jerusalem's future depended upon. Despite outnumbered, led by the great admiral Guy de La Porte, the Crusader Fleet fought valiantly, and delivered devastating losses against the overconfident Scandinavians during the starting phases of the battle, while, as a miracle, a gust of wind helped Jerusalem as well, which many sailors believed to be divine intervention.
Against all odds, the Battle of the East Guinea Basin thus became the greatest naval victory in the History of Jerusalem. Outnumbered and outclassed, the brave fleet of Jerusalem sailed masterfully through the High Seas, crushing the Scandinavian navy and achieving the seemingly impossible. Thus, they continued their journey to the New World, after which they would boldly advance to blockade Scandinavia in the hopes such blockade would prove sufficient to negotiate a peace without any territorial loss for Jerusalem.
The Georgian colonies were completely undefended. The courageous soldiers of Ordo Excidium rapidly crushed through their defenses, as another means of making the conflict less one-sided.
The Lord shall save the Holy Land from Gog and Magog.
With the devastation of the war, people migrated to the colonies, speeding up their development. The Emperor decided to let it happen, because Aden is a shithole anyway.
A smaller fleet of one of the many opportunists fighting with Scandinavia is completely wiped out as the fleet of Jerusalem continues to sail towards Scandinavia, the war about to reach a decisive moment.
A chambermaid is found brutally mutilated inside a secret passage with a satanic sacrificial altar inside the castle of Jerusalem, and finally, the extent of the corruption is truly realized, as it was the very brother of the Emperor who was found responsible for this heinous act. Without further thought, the Emperor order the execution of his own blood, tainted by the forces of
chaos evil, and this drives the Imperium into even further instability, while the war continues to be a collection of catastrophes other than the legendary naval victory in the East Guinea Basin.
All of Georgian colonies fell under Jerusalem control, and the fleet is about to reach Scandinavia. Prayers are made for now the future of the Holy Land is at hand, the Jerusalem guard resigned to hold the Holy City itself to the last man, if necessary.
The Navy successfully blockades the very heart of Scandinavia, and shortly after the Emperor request a meeting of the King of Scandinavia to negotiate peace.
It was a "defeat", for Jerusalem lost prestige from having to concede defeat. Nevertheless, considering the entire might of the vast empire of Georgia threatening to approach the gate of the Holy City, and the extent of this vast coalition banded against the Empire, this was certainly a victory for the Empire, to have held its territorial integrity against such odds thanks to the bravery and skills of the sailors of Classis Hierusalem, who shall be commended for their heroism, for their seemingly impossible victory against a twice larger navy that saved Jerusalem from suffering a humiliating and devastating defeat.
With its economy in a really bad shape and HERESY! of the worst kind plus traitors ready to defect to heathen lands at large, Jerusalem had no choice. Equal treaties are signed with the other foes as well. And thus, against all odds, Jerusalem didn't lose territories against such vast legion of enemies, from Gog to Magog. May God damn all those who dare to defy the Holy Land, and all heretics and traitors, to the lake of fire, as now, with the outside enemies finally out, it is time to put an end for once an all to this long disease of HERESY! that plagued the Holy Land for so long.
To be Unclean; That is the Mark of the Traitor
To be Impure; That is the Mark of the Traitor
To be Abhorred; That is the Mark of the Traitor
To be Reviled; That is the Mark of the Traitor
To be Hunted; That is the Mark of the Traitor
To be Purged; That is the fate of the Traitor
To be Destroyed; For that is the fate of all Traitors
EXTERMINATIS HERETICA, INFIDELIA ET TRADITORES!
DEUS VULT!