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Inactive Let's Play Europa Universalis III: Jerusalem Sancta

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Cassidy, Aug 18, 2012.

?

WHICH IS BETTER AND WHY?

  1. Tripoli (MMU)

    5 vote(s)
    11.1%
  2. Jerusalem (fun2EU)

    13 vote(s)
    28.9%
  3. Ikko-Ikki (fun2EU)

    4 vote(s)
    8.9%
  4. Norway (MMU)

    5 vote(s)
    11.1%
  5. Pskov (MMU)

    3 vote(s)
    6.7%
  6. Copt Egypt (fun2EU)

    9 vote(s)
    20.0%
  7. Navarra (fun2EU)

    3 vote(s)
    6.7%
  8. Riga (MMU)

    3 vote(s)
    6.7%
  1. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2004
    Messages:
    7,926
    Location:
    Copenhagen, Denmark
    Codex 2012
    A mere 119½ years. :roll:
    [EDIT] Did they have leap years back then? If yes, those weren't taken into account.
     
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  2. newcomer Learned

    newcomer
    Joined:
    May 23, 2012
    Messages:
    919
    If it's me I'll send all my troops and storm the castle

    But is it a bug? Or maybe it's counted from the time since the Hindu heretics spawned (heck, they can't even get rid of that measly stack?)
     
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  3. JagreenLern Erudite Patron

    JagreenLern
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2010
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    1,061
    Location:
    Compton, California
    MCA Project: Eternity
    Pretty cool LP. This mod looks interesting, could you post a link to it?
     
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  4. Lindblum Scholar

    Lindblum
    Joined:
    May 3, 2011
    Messages:
    659
  5. TripJack Prestigious Gentleman Hedonist

    TripJack
    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2008
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    4,669
    emprah update etc. etc.
     
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  6. jonnypolen Liturgist

    jonnypolen
    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    270
    I cannot go on not knowing whether or not crusaders will dominate the far east and what will happen to the Timurid aggressors. This is like languishing in Purgatory. Why do you hate me so much?
     
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  7. TripJack Prestigious Gentleman Hedonist

    TripJack
    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2008
    Messages:
    4,669
  8. Lindblum Scholar

    Lindblum
    Joined:
    May 3, 2011
    Messages:
    659
    Playing a Brazilian is nice and all but they're no Crusader.
     
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  9. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

    Fafnir
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2009
    Messages:
    873
    Location:
    Sweden
    Grab the Codex by the pussy
     
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  10. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    They will be crusaders in this alternate space-time continuum. Anyway I got like 90 pics uploaded already for the other thread which is why I'm updating it first for a while until there is no more backlog.
     
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  11. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    [​IMG]

    Ceterum censeo Timuridem delendam esse

    In Memoriam

    [​IMG]

    By the end of 1595, the tecnologically inferior but vast legions of heathens stormed through the Holy Land in their prideful jihad, believing victory was near. An army has been assembled to relieve Damascus before it fell in the hands of the devilists, and the reinforcements from Africa were coming.

    The superiority of the Jerusalem crusaders against the Timurids was once again proven, the end of the glory days of the mongol hordes defined on the barrel of a gun, and thus they managed to crush an evenly numbered enemy army besieging Damascus, and pursued them over Timurid territory.

    [​IMG]

    Dozens of thousands were wiped out by the superiority of tactics and equipment of Jerusalem, the heathens suddenly changing their heart, their hubris confirmed as their once common demands for territory in exchange for peace went silent. Although Jerusalem has fought many wars already, many in the court were resolute: they claimed that to ensure continued peace, it is not enough to just win another war and crush their armies, just like it was not enough for Rome to do so against Carthage twice. Therefore, they advised the Emperor to seek the complete annihilation of the Timurid Khanate instead, meaning one less threat for Jerusalem. And likewise, the capture of the highly valuable center of trade Surat from Delhi was strongly advised by the same belligerent nobles. Yet, there was much to do yet before their foes could be crushed to an extent such high goals could be achieved.

    [​IMG]

    The fortresses of the Timurids have fallen to the aggressive assaults of the crusaders, and now the long road towards their complete subjugation has begun.

    DEUS VULT!

    [​IMG]

    Exhausted after fighting against other heathens, those who besieged Karbala were now all set for being completely exterminated, for such is the fate of all heathens and traitors.

    [​IMG]

    Where is that peace offer demanding territory from Jerusalem again?

    They shall pay the highest price for what they have done!

    [​IMG]

    From the many battles, assaults and victories, the army tradition of Jerusalem soared. Thus new great leaders emerged to bring more devastating and humiliating victories against the heathens.

    [​IMG]

    Looks like some niggers are upset. They brought this upon themselves for their arrogance of daring to think they could defy Jerusalem! Despite their total superiority, they were surprised, and those two thousand men were outnumbered and unprepared when the machetes came.

    [​IMG]

    The Emperor answered upon the news of the disaster of the Congoid buttsex apocalypse in Gold Coast: for every white man they kill, exterminate one hundred of them and incline the human race! It doesn't matter their worth as slaves, we are better off without them.

    [​IMG]

    The war was going well in the Middle East, the Timurids losing battle after battle now that Jerusalem was focusing most of their forces there.

    [​IMG]

    So they can do this shit again in a few years? No way! Suffer not the heathen.

    [​IMG]

    Conrad IV personally slaughtered a hundred niggers, and many more were done. He hope so many would rise the provinces they conquered would be depopulated and then they could easily incline Africa. Thus they pursued the savage subhumans through the jungles, trying to not mistake random apes for them along the way.

    [​IMG]

    The heathens were driven out of the Holy Land.

    DEUS VULT!

    [​IMG]

    Unfortunately, the Emperor learned the hard way he is not failproof, and somehow, somehow, he managed to shamefully lose a battle against the niggers just like in another timeline the Italians were humiliatingly defeated at Ethiopia. Upon any comments, kingconrad IV answered only with HURRS, DURRS, HERPS and DERPS while having those who even hinted of mocking of this defeat sent to the depths of the jungle to fend for themselves.

    [​IMG]

    Despite the rise of the Lithuanian Hitmen Empire, Russia has still grown and prospered, crushing the Mongols of the north as much as Jerusalem is crushing the Mongols of the Middle East. Yet this Russia remains far from mighty enought to challenge the Hitmen, and thus is seeking expansion elsewhere. Many Russian rebels also ravage the Russian lands under control of Georgia(Liberal fapped seven times when the first conquest of Georgia over Russia happened) which seems to have expanded more than it can handle.

    [​IMG]

    Hundreds of thousands of heathens have fallen, their empires standing upon ruined foundations, for they are enemies of the Lord and allies of the deceiver even if unaware. Thus it is only logical that their chest-beating is nothing but a huge lie. Thus, there was one siege left to eliminate: the siege of Fars where dozens of thousands stood, but the defenders of the fortress still held bravely.

    [​IMG]

    The entire army of Jerusalem, not counting the Colonial Militia busy trying to incline Africa, thus marched to this battle hoping their superior training and weaponry would make up to their numerical superiority.

    [​IMG]

    Making a pun with kingcomrade was prophetic. Two defeats against wild niggers with spears?

    What a shame.

    [​IMG]

    Nevertheless, the news of another failure to get rid of the savage rebels were overshadowed by the crushing victory at Fars, which paved the way for wiping out the majority of the armies of Delhi and of the Timurids, while to the East, the heathens of Malacca tried to invade Pegu, only to be completely exterminated as well, and the Classis Hierusalem was heading there to gather the army defending Pegu and launch an invasion against the spice islands the heathens control.

    [​IMG]

    Over forty thousand wiped out, and now the war has totally turned against them, as Jerusalem sought to rapidly conquer their territories, and many of the opportunistic rivals saw a great chance to crush the Timurids and Delhi as well.

    [​IMG]

    The Hindu Noble Republic of Karnataka must be out of their minds, or perhaps afraid of the growing presence of Jerusalem over India, which will now grow even stronger, but why should they be blamed here? It wasn't Jerusalem that started this war, and now, they won't let those who started it get away easily from it.

    [​IMG]

    Their desperation is visible as they throw offers of peace, but they must pay for this, they must see that their god is false, their kings must witness their cities burning as they are asked: WHERE IS YOUR ALLAH NOW?

    DEUS VULT!

    [​IMG]

    Over Persia, a twice smaller army crushes another large heathen force. Their technological inferiority is perhaps even worse than that of Jerusalem compared to Rome.

    [​IMG]

    Unfortunately the invasion of the spice island and capital of this Banten ended less successful than hoped. They seemingly had enough men to win the battle despite their technological inferiority, and now things were looking back for the Jerusalemite forces there, as the fleet prepared to rapidly evacuate them if necessary.

    [​IMG]

    The small army sieging northern Persia effectively delivered devastating losses, as enemy forces that were still retreating met their end.

    [​IMG]

    Fortunately for the crusaders at the Spice Islands, pretenders to the heathen thorne of Banten disrupted the pursuit of their foes against them, and now they were at a position to deliver a crushing victory there.

    [​IMG]

    NO MERCY TO THE ENEMIES OF JERUSALEM! NO MERCY TO THE HEATHENS!

    [​IMG]

    And more traitors rise over Medina and Delta, how surprising.

    [​IMG]

    Banten forces are mercilessly crushed, and now it may be possible to conquer their very capital, and then demand them to recognize they are pathetic.

    [​IMG]

    However, reinforcements then defeated the exhausted armies of Jerusalem there, which were now on the danger of being routed by these heathens. To save their lives, the Emperor managed to sign a white peace with Banten, which will also allow for total focus on India and Persia in this war.

    [​IMG]

    As for Africa, after some failed tries the Emperor finally putted the niggers in their place, while others of Europe are putting Mali in their place too. The partition of Africa is beginning, and the Pope, who controls most of Italy, is one of the leading imperialists in this.

    [​IMG]

    Most of Persia has been conquered by Jerusalem as the year of 1597 was coming to its end, and only pathetic remnants were left of the once vast hordes of the Timurids, who were slaughtered by the hundreds of thousands. Mosques were burned to the ground together with the unpleased devil worshippers inside them, as a display of brutality to remind them of who controls Mecca, who destroyed the Qaaba and forged a ceremonial sword in celebration of their supremacy over Islam with parts of it. There will be no mercy for the heathens.

    [​IMG]

    However, war exhaustion was bringing consequences, yet the Emperor would not end this here. The heretics would be given their deserved fate in time for their treason.

    [​IMG]

    Fortunately the heathen faiths were in decline. There was a good reason for the war to not end right now: Delhi also had to be crushed, and their valuable center of trade will belong to Jerusalem. Let another lesson of how near all who defied Jerusalem were crushed and even wiped from the map be concluded:

    TIMUR DELENDA EST

    EXTERMINATIS INFIDELIA ET HERETICA

    DEUS VULT!
     
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  12. Lindblum Scholar

    Lindblum
    Joined:
    May 3, 2011
    Messages:
    659
    Bump for new page.
    Bravo.
     
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  13. Gondolin Arcane

    Gondolin
    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
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    4,093
    Location:
    In the Playground, reading LPs
    Nice update. Bump!
     
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  14. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2004
    Messages:
    7,926
    Location:
    Copenhagen, Denmark
    Codex 2012
    One of my favourite LPs here. :bro:
     
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  15. Kashmir Slippers Augur

    Kashmir Slippers
    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,002
    Location:
    Here, obviously
    How is your inflation looking? It it at least decreasing?
     
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  16. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    Nope. Approaching 50% . The more rich provinces I own, the better it will be once true PAX is achieved, thus I will expand colonially very quickly once this war is over, over Australia and Southern Brazil which got the province with the highest base tax as Sao Vicente (which will be renamed to Sanctus Paulus. Northern BRBR was already colonized by the Byzantine Greeks and, ridiculously, by Georgians). With two COTs hopefully I'll have enough income to help, but I'll have to make Jerusalem go bankrupt for sure now.

    =========================

    [​IMG]

    Conquirite India!

    Madre Terra

    [​IMG]

    Unfortunately someone else seized control over the center of trade in Surat, as the vultures circled over the defeated and crushed Delhi. Now Jerusalem had to wait. Perhaps they wouldn't try to take over Surat themselves.

    [​IMG]

    The Timurids are crushed and defeated. Let the other heathens finish the job themselves.

    [​IMG]

    The partitions of their puny Khanate began, and with those heathens out of the war, Jerusalem was now ready to crush them in a devastating way, occupying all their lands.

    [​IMG]

    In 1599, the crusaders marched towards the very capital of the Timurid Khanate, certain that their victory was at hand.

    [​IMG]

    DEUS VULT!

    [​IMG]

    Even better, apparently the conflict at Delhi led to the fortunate end of the occupation of Surat, and this was an opportunity that couldn't be missed. Classis Hierusalem immediately sets sails to meet up with one of the armies of the empire so they can begin the siege of that valuable city.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    The traitors will have no mercy. A plan of mass settlement to REMOVE KEBAB for once and all required for the Crusader culture to spread through the New World, but once possible, then the towelheads will be eradicated from the glorious Imperium.

    [​IMG]

    About time, not that this would stop the HERESY!

    [​IMG]

    The Emperor died of disease in the jungles of Africa, while leading his men to a campaign of bringing peace to their African territories, which of course meant slaughtering lots of niggers. Some suggested that it was a black(literally lol) magic voodoo ritual that killed the Emprah. They were all blammed for obvious HERESY! Unfortunately Godfrey was too young for assuming the throne, and thus, just what they needed right now: a Regency!

    [​IMG]

    TIMUR DELENDA EST!

    [​IMG]

    Being enemy of our enemies, Transoxiana agreed to give military access to Jerusalem so they could finish the job.

    [​IMG]

    One of the initiates of Ordo Conquirator thus led the men towards the uncharted lands, as they sought a land route towards India, to crush not only what is left of the Timurid "empire" through those unknown expanses, but also Delhi.

    [​IMG]

    On world news, things are bad for Georgia, Russian patriots overwhelming them. Things are equally bad for the once proud Lithuanian Hitmen Empire as Silesia and Poland, allied with the Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, fight for freeing their fellow Poles from the Hitmen oppression.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    9th of May of 1600, a day which will live in infamy. The regent boldly proclaimed himself the new Emperor, ousting the von Hohenzollern dynasty from Jerusalem and restoring to Jerusalem the dynasty that originally ruled the first Crusader Kingdom of Jerusalem before it fell to the forces of Saladin. From dukes of Cyprus to again kings... not only kings, emperors of the Holy Land. The heir, lacking support due to signs of inborn incompetence, could do nothing as his few supporters fled with him to Wurtemberg, the remaining seat of power of the von Hohenzollerns. Long live Baldwin VII de Lusignan!

    [​IMG]

    Baldwin VII de Lusignan proves to be a far more capable Emperor than the heir he usurped, and his excellent diplomatic and military skills will certainly help a lot with the future of the Imperium, although his legitimacy is very questionable. With his coup supported by the merchants and burghers, he has drastically curbed the powers of the aristocracy while further centralizing the power of the Empire, two measures that shall greatly help the Empire in the long term, now that they are about to seize control of two centers of trade and maintained for a long time monopoly over Alexandria as well.

    [​IMG]

    The new Emperor didn't change the plans about the war. It had to go to the end, and after years of occupation, some of the Timurid provinces began to surrender to the enlightened dominion of the Imperium, which is even better, for it will allow for the destruction of the Timurids to go even further than originally planned.

    [​IMG]

    Some of the heathens of Delhi desperatedly tried to retake Surat. The crusaders were significantly outnumbered, but in the end their superior training and weaponry prevailed.

    DEUS VULT!

    [​IMG]

    Shortly after crushing the desperate Delhian attempt of retaking Surat, the crusaders took control of the city and of its highly valuable center of trade. Yet, they had to completely crush Delhi to convince them to surrender such highly valuable province.

    [​IMG]

    For that goal, again because they are enemies of Jerusalem enemies, Sind agreed to provide military access for Jerusalem so they could reach Delhi through land and conquer India, repeating the same steps of Alexander the Great over a thousand years ago.

    [​IMG]

    Hamadan, another of the most valuable heathen provinces, equally fell.

    [​IMG]

    The Papal States boast themselves as the first Europeans to discover Japan. Of course, they are lying. The first Europeans to discover Japan were Jerusalem, even if they are not per se European, only CULTURALLY European.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    In February 1602, the entire Timurid territory was occupied by the Imperium, as now they marched towards Delhi itself.

    DEUS VULT!

    [​IMG]

    By March, the heir of the just established de Lusignan dynasty was revealed, and like a certain von Hohenzollern, shortly after such heir, Baldwin was also took a wound to the balls that rendered him sterile.

    Here comes Maria de Lusignan, the first Empress of Jerusalem. Oh great, a woman ruling an Imperium.

    :decline:

    Of course the last time a woman ruled Jerusalem, she turned it from a little Crusader Kingdom to a near-empire and they won wars against far worse odds than the current ones, giving the foundations of the mighty Imperium of now. And Maria is a very competent and smart kid, who might easily become one of the greatest rulers of the Imperium.

    [​IMG]

    By the end of April of 1602, most of the armies of Jerusalem were marching into India, as they began to head north, intent on conquering the city of Delhi itself.

    [​IMG]

    Their inferior forces stood no chance, the crusade carried on.

    [​IMG]

    Their defeat was total, their nation plagued by rebels while their doom was coming. Those without the Lord can only end one way.

    [​IMG]

    The only other province of the Timurids Jerusalem wished to conquer, Ajam, has finally chosen to join the Imperium. Part of the reason for this was also the fact Ajam is the last stronghold of the ancient Zoroastrian religion in Persia, and compared to the Timurids, the Imperium was more tolerant.

    [​IMG]

    With the naval powers among heathens out of the war, exploration resumed. A large if desertic continent was discovered, which was named Australia. Suitable lands for colonization were yet to be found, but that would soon change.

    [​IMG]

    The assault of Delhi was a failure, their heavily fortified position and some bad luck leading to the death of thousands of crusaders. Nevertheless, the siege was not yet lost, and despite taking heavy casualties, they continued it while the heathen Delhi was falling apart everywhere, a deserving fate for those who defy the Holy Land.

    [​IMG]

    With the fall of Delhi, they finally would be willing to cede the valuable center of trade of Surat.

    [​IMG]

    And now Jerusalem has grown richer and mightier, securing more of India for themselves, their conquests mirroring the very conquests of Alexander the Great before, their Empire stretching all over Asia, and their civilizaiton the first to secure the spice trade in the Indies, to the envy of Europe.

    [​IMG]

    To finish the crushing of the Timurids, they were forced to renounce all their claims over the Imperium and to also release the worthless and pathetic shithole of Baluchistan as an independent land. They now have been reduced to less than nothing, taught a lesson on how nobody messes with Jerusalem and wins. As for Baluchistan, it is a poor shithole full of sandniggers that isn't worth shit, so why bother taking it rather than releasing it? And thus, once again peace, with every enemy of the Imperium crushed without mercy and defeated.

    DEUS VULT!
     
    • Brofist Brofist x 1
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  17. Gondolin Arcane

    Gondolin
    Joined:
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    Messages:
    4,093
    Location:
    In the Playground, reading LPs
    Also with zero stability and high infamy.
     
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  18. TripJack Prestigious Gentleman Hedonist

    TripJack
    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2008
    Messages:
    4,669
    two updates in one day?
    :bounce:

    what is your infamy limit?
     
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  19. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    The infamy limit is 21, but luckily this mod isn't full of random and nonsensical shit like FRAMED! events. On the other hand, there will be tons of rebel moles to pop in the coming years.
     
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  20. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

    Fafnir
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2009
    Messages:
    873
    Location:
    Sweden
    Grab the Codex by the pussy
    :avatard: Splendid update!
     
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  21. Kashmir Slippers Augur

    Kashmir Slippers
    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,002
    Location:
    Here, obviously
    What they said.
     
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  22. Lindblum Scholar

    Lindblum
    Joined:
    May 3, 2011
    Messages:
    659
  23. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2004
    Messages:
    7,926
    Location:
    Copenhagen, Denmark
    Codex 2012
    I :love: this LP!
     
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  24. Storyfag Arcane Patron

    Storyfag
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2011
    Messages:
    7,051
    Location:
    A Dark Place
    I have now officialy stopped stalking this LP and will now actively bump it and demand updates :smug:

    Remove curry from India?
     
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  25. TripJack Prestigious Gentleman Hedonist

    TripJack
    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2008
    Messages:
    4,669
    remove all mongoloids from premises
     
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