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- Nov 4, 2007
- Messages
- 14,786
So simple, yet so funny.
-
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Completed Let's play: Horde! (Finished)
- Thread starter Darth Roxor
- Start date
So simple, yet so funny.
Vault Dweller
Commissar, Red Star Studio
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2003
- Messages
- 28,024
Good ol' days and games that were about kicking you in the nuts instead of gently holding your hand and caressing your ego. Back in the day if the game didn't make you feel like a clueless retard unable to complete a simple task like protecting your land from a few hordelings, the developers didn't try hard enough.Balor said:Didn't manage to finish it though - this game is fucking HARD. I hope you'll finish it so I can see how it ends.
Darth Roxor said:
Great let's play thread, Darth! Keep up the good work.
Dosbox, yes, and the CPU cycles are fixed in the version I'm playing. Only the intro was sluggish, everything else is perfectly fine.
As I remember, knights are pretty good at guarding gaps in stone walls, where hordling usually stream into.
They hit pretty fast and hard, and can even kill a tank... sometimes they do, sometimes not, as far as my memory serves.
Using lures placed near knights also seem to work out quite nice.
They hit pretty fast and hard, and can even kill a tank... sometimes they do, sometimes not, as far as my memory serves.
Using lures placed near knights also seem to work out quite nice.
Naked Ninja
Arbiter
This game looks like it kicks Hinterland hard, great thread!
Oh man, I recall playing the shit outta the demo. Never saw this in stores, though.
Traps have hardly been mentioned, I wonder if you could place a Lure on top of a trap.
Secret Recipe and Knight Contract, says I.
Also, how 'bout some more strategically placed walls?
Anyway, great LP.
Traps have hardly been mentioned, I wonder if you could place a Lure on top of a trap.
Secret Recipe and Knight Contract, says I.
Also, how 'bout some more strategically placed walls?
Anyway, great LP.
Kingston
Arcane
I'd say this is the best LP yet. Obscure games people haven't heard about is what it should be about. I wonder how many people will try and get their hands on the game based on this LP. I know if I ever saw this in a shop, I'd buy it in a heartbeat. It looks like it's got that loving quality you just don't get in games anymore.
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,200
Satori (original)
Arbiter
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2008
- Messages
- 6,992
Update!
Welcome back citizens! Last time we met, the king gave us the title of Master of Shimto Plains. Today's episode will bring some hopechange (with more change and less hope) to our glorious task.
Next update, we'll be facing Year 2 in the (queue ominous music) T-T-T-TREE REALM OF ALBURGA-Ga-ga-ga-ga (creepy fading echo)
Following your votes, I bought Le Bombe and the secret recipe just for the hell of it, because it's cheap anyway.
So, without further delay!
Noooooo, the first part of the briefing where the Chancellor stabs a Chauncey voodoo doll didn't get saved... but it went like this:
"How are you feeling today Chauncey...?
ANY SHARP HEADACHES?
OR ANY SHARP CHEST PAINS?!"
*chauncey enters*
"Chancellor!"
"Huh... how are you feeling today Chauncey...?"
"Greater than ever!"
and the rest is as follows
So, here we are - the tree realm of Alburga. New environment, new people, new hordlings. Marvelous
And overland shot of the starting settlement. Now, it is IMPERATIVE to cut down all the trees this spring, and I'll explain why later.
New protection for new cows
The villagers look funky here. The music in strategy mode is also hilarious.
Oh yeah, getting the wall in the south was a splendid idea.
SPLENDID INDEED
P. good results. Only one hordling managed to encircle the wall to snatch some crops.
Oh yeah? Sorry, I don't listen to animal-hugging hippies. What'cha gonna do? Tie yourselves to the trees and yell 'WHY CAN'T WE JUST GET ALONG?' ?
And besides, I need $$$$ and there's some good $$$$ to be had on your trees.
IIIIIII'M A LUMBERJACK, AND I'M OK!
Fuck. Well, guess cutting down the trees really IS a bad idea after all. And that is why it was vital to chop down everything in spring - back then we didn't lose hp.
An overview of the village.
Idiots, lol.
See that cock with silly black pants and a headband? Yup, that's the pygmy thief the first tip was warning us about. They are a lot more intelligent than their other brethren we faced before, although they still die in only one hit. They move pretty much as fast as Chauncey, have ranged projectile attacks (but don't hit hard), can hide among the trees, and while other hordlings have a 'RUN IN AND EAT EVERYTHING' mentality, they are much more mean - they run away from you when you chase them, and attack the village only when you are away.
They also plant 'horde crops'. See the saplings on the patch to the north? When the invasion ends, they'll grow into a patch of red shit that blocks regular crops from growing and doesn't give you gold.
FUCK, we've lost a cow. See? I was away chasing the other thieves, and two of them took their time and assaulted the cows.
Meh.
Neat. Let's hope it stays that way.
Restocked on cows
The evil crops need to be dug out ASAP, as they are also spreading to other forums... I mean, uh, crops.
TRY YOUR LUCK NOW, HORDLING FAGGOTS. Next next-gen cow pen 3.0. Now with 500% more spiky traps.
And another cow.
INCOMING!!!
Go me, I forgot to remove one patch of weeds, because it was cleverly hidden behind a house.
Durrhurr
Right, let's check if the meat is good for anything.
The last faggot alive hid behind a tree.
And wasn't going for the meat, so I thwacked him instead. Goddammit, the thieves are also immune to the secret recipe. Fortunately it's cheap as hell (5 gold per piece), so no matter.
Ok, that's better than last time.
We've seen our share of those in the last update.
Nothing to do here really. Last shot of the town before we hit another year.
Hmmm, lotsa.
Lotsa indeed.
There goes another villager...
COME BACK HERE, COWARD.
Another villager down (northwest corner) and more evil crops.
While chasing around thieves, one of the saved villagers got eaten...
BUT! Notice how there's a missing spike trap. TRY HARDER, SHITHEADS!
A shame they disappear after one hordling walks into them.
Yippie-kay-eh muthafucka (blood & gore 18+).
Meh. At least the cows are alright.
In yo' face, punk!
Right, we're kinda low on cash, so I won't be buying anything this time around.
Some new wares in the shoppe:
Flamethrower. Good for eliminating tanks as far as I recall, but you need to watch out to not turn your cows into BBQ.
Basically like the knight contract, only three times as expensive and more useful, since they are regular, ranged turrets.
Well, the description says it all.
So, without further delay!
Noooooo, the first part of the briefing where the Chancellor stabs a Chauncey voodoo doll didn't get saved... but it went like this:
"How are you feeling today Chauncey...?
ANY SHARP HEADACHES?
OR ANY SHARP CHEST PAINS?!"
*chauncey enters*
"Chancellor!"
"Huh... how are you feeling today Chauncey...?"
"Greater than ever!"
and the rest is as follows
So, here we are - the tree realm of Alburga. New environment, new people, new hordlings. Marvelous
And overland shot of the starting settlement. Now, it is IMPERATIVE to cut down all the trees this spring, and I'll explain why later.
New protection for new cows
The villagers look funky here. The music in strategy mode is also hilarious.
Oh yeah, getting the wall in the south was a splendid idea.
SPLENDID INDEED
P. good results. Only one hordling managed to encircle the wall to snatch some crops.
Oh yeah? Sorry, I don't listen to animal-hugging hippies. What'cha gonna do? Tie yourselves to the trees and yell 'WHY CAN'T WE JUST GET ALONG?' ?
And besides, I need $$$$ and there's some good $$$$ to be had on your trees.
IIIIIII'M A LUMBERJACK, AND I'M OK!
Fuck. Well, guess cutting down the trees really IS a bad idea after all. And that is why it was vital to chop down everything in spring - back then we didn't lose hp.
An overview of the village.
Idiots, lol.
See that cock with silly black pants and a headband? Yup, that's the pygmy thief the first tip was warning us about. They are a lot more intelligent than their other brethren we faced before, although they still die in only one hit. They move pretty much as fast as Chauncey, have ranged projectile attacks (but don't hit hard), can hide among the trees, and while other hordlings have a 'RUN IN AND EAT EVERYTHING' mentality, they are much more mean - they run away from you when you chase them, and attack the village only when you are away.
They also plant 'horde crops'. See the saplings on the patch to the north? When the invasion ends, they'll grow into a patch of red shit that blocks regular crops from growing and doesn't give you gold.
FUCK, we've lost a cow. See? I was away chasing the other thieves, and two of them took their time and assaulted the cows.
Meh.
Neat. Let's hope it stays that way.
Restocked on cows
The evil crops need to be dug out ASAP, as they are also spreading to other forums... I mean, uh, crops.
TRY YOUR LUCK NOW, HORDLING FAGGOTS. Next next-gen cow pen 3.0. Now with 500% more spiky traps.
And another cow.
INCOMING!!!
Go me, I forgot to remove one patch of weeds, because it was cleverly hidden behind a house.
Durrhurr
Right, let's check if the meat is good for anything.
The last faggot alive hid behind a tree.
And wasn't going for the meat, so I thwacked him instead. Goddammit, the thieves are also immune to the secret recipe. Fortunately it's cheap as hell (5 gold per piece), so no matter.
Ok, that's better than last time.
We've seen our share of those in the last update.
Nothing to do here really. Last shot of the town before we hit another year.
Hmmm, lotsa.
Lotsa indeed.
There goes another villager...
COME BACK HERE, COWARD.
Another villager down (northwest corner) and more evil crops.
While chasing around thieves, one of the saved villagers got eaten...
BUT! Notice how there's a missing spike trap. TRY HARDER, SHITHEADS!
A shame they disappear after one hordling walks into them.
Yippie-kay-eh muthafucka (blood & gore 18+).
Meh. At least the cows are alright.
In yo' face, punk!
Right, we're kinda low on cash, so I won't be buying anything this time around.
Some new wares in the shoppe:
Flamethrower. Good for eliminating tanks as far as I recall, but you need to watch out to not turn your cows into BBQ.
Basically like the knight contract, only three times as expensive and more useful, since they are regular, ranged turrets.
Well, the description says it all.
Next update, we'll be facing Year 2 in the (queue ominous music) T-T-T-TREE REALM OF ALBURGA-Ga-ga-ga-ga (creepy fading echo)
Last edited:
Satori (original)
Arbiter
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2008
- Messages
- 6,992
Nice to see the Jews are being Progressive™ as usual.
Also 'environment' is spelt wrong.
Und hallo. I'm running out of ideas what to write in these introductions, so just witness as we go through another year full of nasty Hordlings.
We start by eradicating the evil seed.
Then we move the cows into non-rocky squares, and plant more traps. This cow pen is now a living hell for approaching hordlings.
We also expand the wall a bit.
And prepare for more Thwacking!
I really hate getting dazed. Sometimes it happens even after two swings.
Last one.
Damn them and their friggin blowing darts.
That's surprisingly good for this area and year.
Yup, chopping down trees is still a bad idea... I like the money though.
Hurrhurrhurr
Lotsa. But it'll be common from now on.
Time for an Epic, Valiant, Mighty, Brave defense of the Holy village of the True Metal.
(Soundtrack for this episode)
Let's wait and see how their forces spread
Right, most of them advance from the east, and those coming from the south/southwest will smash against the wall first, which will buy us some time.
SO WE'LL FIGHT AGAINST THE WIND...
... FOR THE GLORY OF THE KINGS...
... TO DEFEAT THE EVIL ENEMIES...
... AND WE'LL RIDE WITH OUR LORD...
... FOR THE POWER AND THE THRONE...
IN THE NAME OF HOLY
THUNDER
FORCE!
IN THE NAME OF HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY
THUUUUUUUUUUUUUNDEEEEEEEEEEERFOOOOOOOOOOOORCE!
Oh yeah, that was fucking epic.
But enough of these shenanigans, time to get rid of the evil crops again.
And move the cows/rebuild the walls.
Goddamn, I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I'm too greedy, and not ALL trees hurt you.
An overview.
Kay, seems the eastern flank is clear for now.
More jumpers... yay...
Somewhere around this part, I got pretty confused, I kept hearing crops getting eaten (you can hear a distinctive 'NOM' when they get snatched) and villagers yelling 'HELP!', but I had no idea where to proceed since the hordlings seemed to be friggin EVERYWHERE.
Savin' peasants since year 0001, yo
moar dazing.
And like I said. Lost almost all of our fucking crops. 18 destroyed crops means we just lost 54 gold. Dang.
Last screenshot in Vynter. Nothing to do, so I called the horde almost instantly
So, I took my time to examine enemy movements, then proceeded to kill two suckers in the east, and suddenly I heard 'HELP!!!'
What the hell, how could they get there so fast?
FUCK! I thought these don't appear until like, the third or even fourth area.
This, my gentle readers, is a hordling shaman. They can teleport right into the middle of your village, throw fireballs that turn buildings to rubble, cows and villagers into BBQ, and are generally a pain in the arse, but at least they are rather slow when moving...
...and die after three hits.
SHIT, a cow is missing. At this point I got confused again, because yet again a mayhem ensued. While I was running to the shaman and getting dazed, pretty much all the hordlings managed to get into the village.
WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE GETTING DAZED, YOU RETARD.
I also heard a surprised 'MOO?!' kind of sound that indicates a cow is under attack. GREAT.
*sprint to the opposite part of town*
But I managed to arrive in time. I believe it was the very last moment too. Really got lucky out there.
Whoa, they actually managed to bust the wall. But it only shows how sturdy it is that it fell down only just now.
Ouch... this is bad. But it COULD be worse.
Meh.
Oh yeah, I'm sure it hurts you more than me, Chancellor Apfelbaum.
Right, so we now have 820 crowns and are sent to the shoppe again. Should I buy something (and what should it be) or hoard the gold to buy more cows and do repairs around town?
Decisions, decisions... the fate of the gold is in your hands Codexers!
We start by eradicating the evil seed.
Then we move the cows into non-rocky squares, and plant more traps. This cow pen is now a living hell for approaching hordlings.
We also expand the wall a bit.
And prepare for more Thwacking!
I really hate getting dazed. Sometimes it happens even after two swings.
Last one.
Damn them and their friggin blowing darts.
That's surprisingly good for this area and year.
Yup, chopping down trees is still a bad idea... I like the money though.
Hurrhurrhurr
Lotsa. But it'll be common from now on.
Time for an Epic, Valiant, Mighty, Brave defense of the Holy village of the True Metal.
(Soundtrack for this episode)
Let's wait and see how their forces spread
Right, most of them advance from the east, and those coming from the south/southwest will smash against the wall first, which will buy us some time.
SO WE'LL FIGHT AGAINST THE WIND...
... FOR THE GLORY OF THE KINGS...
... TO DEFEAT THE EVIL ENEMIES...
... AND WE'LL RIDE WITH OUR LORD...
... FOR THE POWER AND THE THRONE...
IN THE NAME OF HOLY
THUNDER
FORCE!
IN THE NAME OF HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY
THUUUUUUUUUUUUUNDEEEEEEEEEEERFOOOOOOOOOOOORCE!
Oh yeah, that was fucking epic.
But enough of these shenanigans, time to get rid of the evil crops again.
And move the cows/rebuild the walls.
Goddamn, I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I'm too greedy, and not ALL trees hurt you.
An overview.
Kay, seems the eastern flank is clear for now.
More jumpers... yay...
Somewhere around this part, I got pretty confused, I kept hearing crops getting eaten (you can hear a distinctive 'NOM' when they get snatched) and villagers yelling 'HELP!', but I had no idea where to proceed since the hordlings seemed to be friggin EVERYWHERE.
Savin' peasants since year 0001, yo
moar dazing.
And like I said. Lost almost all of our fucking crops. 18 destroyed crops means we just lost 54 gold. Dang.
Last screenshot in Vynter. Nothing to do, so I called the horde almost instantly
So, I took my time to examine enemy movements, then proceeded to kill two suckers in the east, and suddenly I heard 'HELP!!!'
What the hell, how could they get there so fast?
FUCK! I thought these don't appear until like, the third or even fourth area.
This, my gentle readers, is a hordling shaman. They can teleport right into the middle of your village, throw fireballs that turn buildings to rubble, cows and villagers into BBQ, and are generally a pain in the arse, but at least they are rather slow when moving...
...and die after three hits.
SHIT, a cow is missing. At this point I got confused again, because yet again a mayhem ensued. While I was running to the shaman and getting dazed, pretty much all the hordlings managed to get into the village.
WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE GETTING DAZED, YOU RETARD.
I also heard a surprised 'MOO?!' kind of sound that indicates a cow is under attack. GREAT.
*sprint to the opposite part of town*
But I managed to arrive in time. I believe it was the very last moment too. Really got lucky out there.
Whoa, they actually managed to bust the wall. But it only shows how sturdy it is that it fell down only just now.
Ouch... this is bad. But it COULD be worse.
Meh.
Oh yeah, I'm sure it hurts you more than me, Chancellor Apfelbaum.
Right, so we now have 820 crowns and are sent to the shoppe again. Should I buy something (and what should it be) or hoard the gold to buy more cows and do repairs around town?
Decisions, decisions... the fate of the gold is in your hands Codexers!
Last edited:
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Messages
- 14,786
Ashery said:
Yeah, but keep in mind that there's one problem about archers:
CASH.
First, buying the contract itself takes 750 from your coffer.
Then, you have to hire an actual archer which takes another 50+ (forgot the exact number, but I think it's about 60) and then you need to pay them like ~30 at the end of each season to keep them working.
CASH.
First, buying the contract itself takes 750 from your coffer.
Then, you have to hire an actual archer which takes another 50+ (forgot the exact number, but I think it's about 60) and then you need to pay them like ~30 at the end of each season to keep them working.
Black_Willow
Arcane
Get yourself da flamein' dick!
Lim-Lim
Liturgist
You have way too little cows. I suggest that you buy shitloads of cows at these early levels, because it's damn hard keeping them alive when the big hordlings start to appear.
GarfunkeL
Racism Expert
Maybe knights to help you out there?
Ashery
Prophet
- Joined
- May 24, 2008
- Messages
- 1,337
Darth Roxor said:
Yea, but keep in mind that there's one problem about cows.
TIME.
As the previous year has shown, you're pushing Chauncey's abilities to readily handle the hordelings to their limits. You're already using as many traps as possible to protect the cows, so you can't just use more of'em to get out of the situation you're in.
Chauncey just doesn't have the time to handle everything himself. The ring of teleport might help, but I'm not sure if it's just a single shot item or what.
In your current state, protecting the cows involves either having Chauncey in their immediate vicinity at all times (Impossible and not guaranteed to work) or spending a sizable amount of crowns on single shot traps as you did in the previous year. You only lost a single cow this year, so you're only out 100c there, but how much did you spend on traps? How many crops would've been saved if you had the archer on either the E or W side of the wall?
Stereotypical Villain
Arcane
I'm putting down my vote for the archers as well. They may be expensive, but i think they'll turn out to be a sound investment in the end.
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