Completed Let's play: Horde! (Finished)

[Redeye]

[/img]

 

[Ashery]

I've been thinking, wouldn't a wall with a moat be an excellent defense?

It might be a good idea to build your pen next to water if you try again. Could kill a bunch of hordlings.

Expensive to do and not easily moved.

I've found knights placed along the outer edge of a pen to be the most effective method. Even for a sustainable pen holding thirty cows, you can get away with only having four to six knights and still have near perfect security.

Hell, I did without walls entirely in the swamps. The ring of teleport, however, is a must if you want to try going without walls as there will be the occasional hordling that comes from a different direction.

Being without knights greatly limits what can be done...Archers are just too fucking expensive to use frequently, so we need to come up with a suggestion that's actually feasible.

Also, spreading the cows out costs a bit more up front (Almost twice the initial cost, no two cows can be adjacent), but it's well worth the investment as you can use more permanent defenses for the pen.

I suppose you could use a 9x5 pen design (holds 15 sustainably), with the longer side facing the direction where most of the horde comes from. Add in two archers, one at each of the front corners so that the front is covered by two archers and each of the sides is guarded as well. After that, add in a couple traps in the rear for emergency defense and you should be good.

 

[ghostdog]

Hey Darth, sir Chauncey can't die that easily. Get to work and give us moar!

 

[Darth Roxor]

Yes, yes, I know, I'll update tomorrow > I wanted to update today but got too sucked in by Knight Shift.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Now, at the start allow me to quote a great man and philosopher

Spoiler

'NOW I'M REALLY PISSED OFF.'

Right, so we can proceed to fighting off the hordlings in the last year in the Tree Realm.

TREE REALM OF ALBURGA, YEAR 4: TAKE THREE!

(funny thing is, I remember that everytime I played Horde, this particular level DIDN'T make me rage so much, I think)

I've had enough of moving the goddamn cows. Let's try spreading them out after all, and see what happens.

Hmmm... I feel like I've seen this before.

I feel like I've thwacked these hordlings before.

RAARGGGH!!!1 *battle rage*

Cocks are trying to plant evil saplings on my soil! What is this transgression?!

After removing the sapling, we punish the ones responsible with extreme prejudice.

Another sapling in the north (the red cross-like thingy near the edge of the cowpen). It would appear that our archer got, uh, eaten. Oh well.

So-so. At least I won't have to pay anything to the hirelings ohurrhurrhurr.

Ok, this next-gen cowpen was definitely a good idea. I don't have to move any of the cows.

So let's put the extra money to good use.

And buy moar cows and walls.

I lack cash for an archer though...

However, when things get tough, the tough go chopping!

Quit whining trees, nobody cares.

'sup

Chauncey - the master of deja-vu.

I love the smell of explodin' hordlin' in the mornin'... it smells like... victory.

Dum de dum. The stupid archers should have some kind of scripted priority to RESCUE VILLAGERS THAT ARE BEING EATEN RIGHT NEXT TO THEM

GOLD!!11

At this point I heard the archer yell for help. Jolly...

TO THE RESCUE!!!!

Oops, too late. Well shucks \o_O/

Whoa, we lost like, half of our village in this attack. Changing the strategy and posting only one archer might have been good for my coffers, but not too good for the safety of the peasants...

The cows still don't need moving. Amazing.

Another archer hired. Let's hope the archer's guild doesn't ask any questions why do we need replacements each season...

More cows to the herd.

Heck, even more.

By Triglav and Svarog, the enemy is a-coming!

Relatively peaceful.

First sightings. A second after that, a shaman popped up near the archer.

So, I went to investigate.

HOLY SHIT. Nothing like buying two pieces of BBQ for goddamn 60 gold.

But the shaman has been punished quickly, before he could beam out. He also dropped jewish gold.

Hmmm, at least the BBQ might stop some hungry hungry hordlings for a while if they run through the place.

Even more jewish gold D:

The situation was getting a little bit out of hand here, lotsa buildings got destroyed.

As you can see in this picture. I would be surprised to see a single standing building in my humble village.

Hey, hey! One does stand tall after all!

Ouch...

Ok... winter... how marvelous.

Time to change the cow pen into great $$$$

zzzziiiiiiing.

Hired three archers. Don't wanna take any chances - there's no such thing as TOO cautious :

:

Here goes nothing...

Ok, so the plan is as follows. If I manage to fend off the hordlings coming from the north, the northernmost building SHOULD be safe enough, since the main strike force and panzer battalion come from the south, so it'll take them quite some time to reach the house (which will probably be left for the 'last' ) while they are blasting the whole town.

NO TIME TO GET DAZED SHITHEAD.

:half-life marine voice: This whole operation is out of control!

godfuckingdammit...

LEAVE THAT ARCHER ALONE, SCUMBAG.

We're taking heavy losses...

Time to get fucked \o/

ok... let's try this bomb thingy one more time...

FIRE!!!! ALL GUNS!!!!

Yup, a direct hit ensued after this. Nothing died. Fucking jolly...

So I went to do some thwacking. Dropped another bomb in the meantime. Again, nothing died.

FUCK. There was a thief sneaking in the backlines. I hoped I took them all out.

This is not good...

... apparently the sneaking thief destroyed the northern house and ate the villager inside...

Next update tomorrow. This time I WILL succeed. :evil:

 

[ghostdog]

Aren't those tanks always coming from the same direction? If so maybe you should put a knight or two there and some meat to try and lure them.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

Comrade Darth Roxor, the Central Committee is not pleased with your results.

 

[Claw]

You know what? Next time wall in that house.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Aren't those tanks always coming from the same direction? If so maybe you should put a knight or two there and some meat to try and lure them.

Oh yes, knights would DEFINITELY make stuff a lot easier...

...but you cocks never voted for hiring them, so CHOICES AND CONSEQUENCES bitches, there's no going back now :evil:

You know what? Next time wall in that house.

That is a good suggestion, I'll take it into consideration.

 

[Luzur]

but the tanks just walk down walls.

and hire lots of knights next.

 

[luckyb0y]

I think I used to put knight next to archers so they wouldn't get eaten so easily.

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

This LP caused me to...

... and i love it quite a bit. Keep up the... uh... good work. :D

 

[Multi-headed Cow]

I think he's coming on to you.

 

[abstract]

Since you get so much gold after selling off the cows in the last season, can't you hire like 10 archers to help with the fight?

 

[Monocause]

He sold the cows so that he has the money in the next region. Spending it all on archers would be kinda pointless. On the other hand, spending some of it might be a good idea.

 

[Darth Roxor]

The problem is, archers aren't really that good against tanks. One archer will fire like, 2 or 3 arrows before the bastard gets to him, which is rather weak, and after he fires the said 2 or 3 arrows you hear him call for help and you start raging because of wasted gold, and with 5 tanks approaching, I'd need pretty much 10 archers so I can outnumber them 2:1, which will make the other 5 archers keep shooting a bit more while the first 5 are currently being eaten alive. And that is also a horrible waste of cash, since it would cost 600 gold just to hire them, and then another 60 for every archer left alive at the end of the season (which is rather implausible, but still), so instead of the ~1800, I'd be left with 1200 at best, and possibly even less + you need to subtract 200 gold for the taxes after this season, so I'd be left with 1000 AT BEST, which is not good since we want to start the new region with as many cows as possible and maybe get an archer or two for defence.

 

[Balor]

Well, two knights next to each other are impenetrateable defence against tanks. You just need to lure them.
Alternatively, you can dig lots of pits. Not that it will work very well, though...

 

[Darth Roxor]

Well, two knights next to each other are impenetrateable defence against tanks. You just need to lure them.
Alternatively, you can dig lots of pits. Not that it will work very well, though...

Indeed. And that's probably why I never used to have problems with this level until now. I always abused knights as hell.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

Well, two knights next to each other are impenetrateable defence against tanks. You just need to lure them.
Alternatively, you can dig lots of pits. Not that it will work very well, though...

...but you cocks never voted for hiring them, so CHOICES AND CONSEQUENCES bitches, there's no going back now :evil:

 

[Darth Roxor]

Alright ladies and gentlemen, I hope you're ready to face certain doom yet again, for now begins, THE INQUISTION!!

Spoiler

Uh, I mean, the new update.

Well, I suppose you've seen the first three seasons enough times, and since apart from the shaman in fall there's nothing really interesting in them, I took the liberty of not taking any screenshots except for the tables with results.

Except for Fall when I lost all but one patch of crops, the outcomes weren't bad, especially in the villager compartment.

Now, for the interesting part. The Cryptic Necrofrozen Morbid and Inverted Winter Madness.

Cow pen clean-up.

Damn, I've somehow managed to get helluva cash this time.

So I put it into good use and hire four damn archers to protect the damn village.

And planted a spike trap for the fuck of it at the northernmost house. Wanted to wall it in, but then I realised you can't build walls on the road, so I decided to screw.dat.

MAKE HASTE! VALHALLA AWAITS!

INTRUDER ALERT
RED SPY IS IN THE BASE

Time to head off and defend the north house.

Right, the situation is moderately safe, let's head southward.

Just in time to save a peasant. Let's head back north to check things out.

Yeah, just in time again. Faggots cleverly evaded my trap

Archer_04 gets a promotion for saving Archer_01 from stomach acids.

One shithead thought he'll hide among the trees and stay safe. Well, THINK AGAIN

ODIN!! HERE I COME!!!!

It's very good that they came in two groups this time. It makes our chances of survival rise A LOT. Given the fact that they are more or less mobbing, I proceeded to thwack the hell out of them with my spinning attacks of death.

Btw spinning.

TAKE THAT, YOU FILTHY RAT.

Another down. Moar daze. The third one is occupied with eating peasants.

BANG! Now for the other three.

Hmmm, I do believe there used to be an archer in this particular place.

Yup, there also used to be another archer in that intersection with two tanks.

uh... PREPARE FOR IMPACT!!!!

Right... we're halfdone with the panzer battalion, let's not screw it up by dying, shall we?

Time to gut the bastards.

haHA!

DIE, DIE, DIE AHAHAHHA. Now for the last one.

I don't wanna take any chances.

ACHTUNG, ACHTUNG HERMAN. PREPARE ZE TORPEDO BAYS FOR A MASSIVE BARRAGE.

FEUER!!! TORPEDO LOS!!!

Hmmm, I don't zink zhis worked zhat much, herr oberleutnant.

RELOAD ZE TORPEDO BAYS, PREPARE ANOTHER SALVO.

SEND ZHEM TO ZE DEPTHS OF ZE SEA!!!

NEIN, NEIN, NEIN!! ZE TORPEDO MISSED ZE TARGET

Fortunately, we still have ze deck guns.

Victory! Not without losses either, but at this point, I don't care. What's important is that we leave this hellhole.

Hurr.

Right. Shoppe. Now, we can buy stuff, the same as last time (rock of healing, flame thrower, ----->knight contract<-----, ring of teleportation).

Should something be bought? Decisions, decisions...

Until the next time, ladies and gentlemen!

 

[RK47]

flame thrower sounds useful. Do pick up the knight too.

 

[Darth Roxor]

flame thrower sounds useful.

I remember I bought it on one playthrough before, and while it's very effective against tanks, it also sucks a lot of cash, I think.

 

[Azira]

Ring of teleportation!

And yeah, buy that knight contract as well.

 

[Reverend Flashback]

For fucks sake, buy the shittiest shit you can get. Rock of Healing it is!

 

[fractal]

Knights are essential for the next area, but I managed to get through without the ring and took only light losses. I did rely mostly on crops as income, cows were only stationed near knights to pay for their upkeep and lure hordlings.