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Completed Let's Play Myth: The Fallen Lords

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Ivar the Boner, Mar 24, 2013.

  1. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
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    Messages:
    1,053
    Location:
    Poland
    Since Shadow of the Horned Rat LP is complete I decided to make another one while I still have a lot of free time. This time we are going to play Myth: The Fallen Lords on Legendery difficulty level. Myth is one of my favourite game ever, and definetly favourie strategy game (its skirmish game inb4 Awor). My nostalgia toward this game is so huge that hearing music from this game sends shivers down my spine.
    I actually never finished this game on Legendary, I'v done some Heroic capmaigns though, and I'm extremely cocky after finishing SotHR so we will try this shiat on legendary. And this is not "How to Play Myth" or "Walkthrough" I'm not great at this game and you should not try to learn things from me. It's just LP you read when you want to see how random dude over the internet plays Myth.

    You are not treated with much of a back-story at begining of the game. All necessary informations are given to use between missions in form of diary entries of one of the soldiers. Plot is pretty much banal-shit-boring undead taking over the world, but there is slight twist to it and the way game presents this plot makes it really great experience.

    The basic informations:

    War with the Fallen Lords have been raging for 30 years and humanity is pretty much fucked by now. Most of major-cities already fallen and only one still resist. Beyond this is city are only some mountain tribes and then the ocean. So if the city falls, humanity falls with it. What remained of once great human armies was formed into Legion. And we are special operations force inside this Legion. We are few (even though Legion apparently have one million soldiers, and I think that's fucking a lot) so we won't be fighting great battles against Fallen Lords horde. We will be doing special operations like, diversions, seek and destroy, find magic item or rescue some unfortunate dumbfuck go get caught by undead while Legion itself will be fighting main enemy force buying us enough time to do our stuff. I think that's a nice touch that we will only hear about great battles while doing things that may seem pretty insignificant.

    This is serious grimdark game so this LP will also be serious and grimdark. So no funnies this time.

    -----------------
    TABLE OF CONTENT:
    Mission 1: Crow's Bridge
    Mission 2: A Traitor's Grave
    Mission 3: The Siege of Madrigal
    Mission 4: Homecoming
    Mission 5: Flight from Covenant
    Mission 6: Force Ten From Stoneheim
    Mission 7: Bagrada
    Mission 8: Ambush At Devil's Overlook
    Mission 9: The Five Champions
    Mission 10: Out Of The Barrier
    Mission 11: Silvermines
    Mission 12: Shadow of the Mountain
    Mission 13: Seven Gates
    Mission 14: Forest Heart
    Mission 15: Heart of the Stone
    Mission 16: The Smiths of Muirthemne
    Mission 17: Sons of Myrgard
    Mission 18: The Road North
    Mission 19: Across the Gjol
    Mission 20: The Watcher
    Mission 21: River of Blood
    Mission 22: Pools of Iron
    Mission 23: Last Battle
    Mission 24: The Great Devoid
    -----------------
    INTRO:
    Show Spoiler



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    WHASUUUUP!

    Well, not entirely serious...


    EDIT: I started putting updates into this "spoiler" thingy because multiple updates on one page lagged my computer. Also I decided to start resizing briefing and debriefing screenshots for those who don't want to watch them on youtube. Right now only Ambush at Devil's Overlook have resized briefing but every update from now on also will have them and I will eventually get around to resize briefings in previous updates. Cheers.
     
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  2. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Poland
    Crow's Bridge

    Show Spoiler
    Crow's Bridge
    Wednsday August 3



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    Those are two dudes from the cut-scene. They were having conversation about what happend after last battle with Fallen Lords forces. Apparently, there were no bodies to be found, and they wonder what Fallen Lords do with all the bodies. It's strange they haven't figured it out yet, after fighting undead armies for 30 fucking years. But maybe they are fresh recruits or something.

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    Well, I think mystery have been solved and our two friends can finally sleep at night finally knowing what Fallen Lords do with bodies of fallen Legion soldiers. Also, our friends names are Conlan and Alyce. Those names can be changed to whatever you like, for example I once had soldier named Bevies and you probably can imagine how I named his companion. But I don't think there is point in naming simple warrios after codexers since they have life expetancy of 5 minutes. Oh, and some of these warriors have names that ends with an "a", but they are not chicks, and don't like when people make funs of their femine names, so don't.

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    We order our two titans of intellect to join their companions who stand between Crow's Bridge and the village.

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    This is the village. We have to defend it. If all villagers die, mission is over and since it's not Shadow of the Horned Rat, when you loose one mission - campaign is over.

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    We order our soldiers inside the village to join with the rest of our force. Guys with strange names like "ka'Tanga" are fir'Bolg - forest people and former enemies of men. But Humans and fir'Bolg were forced to join forces against the Fallen Lords and now fir'Bolg serve as an archers in Legion. They completely suck balls at first but got much better with every kill so It is very important to keep them alive (regular warriors are expendable though).

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    Conlan and Alyce curse the day they joined Legion (if one can simply "join" Legion) and make their way to rest of our soldiers before Hatchet Rape Squad will get them.

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    Then we order them to retreat slightly further becasue Thralls are still following them.

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    Backbone of Fallen Lords armies - Thralls. Pretty much brainless undead, slow and stupid but very resistant to damage and they always attack in large groups. I don't think if our warrior could win duel with Thrall on Legendary but fortunately Thralls like to "target" one unit and come straight at it ignoring anything else. So when shit hits the fan, and we will be forced to fight hand-to-hand usually our warriors will have couple of free hits before Thralls will realise that something is swinging sword at them.

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    Warriors - our most basic melee units. They have decent armor and shield but they attack quite slowly and will get slaughtered by enemy in fair fight. But they move faster than Thralls and are ok'ish until we get better melee units.

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    All of our men are finally in one place and we can finally prepare some defence.

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    Our artillery. Come on don't laugh at him because he's small. He may be just a dwarf but he's deadly. One more thing to love about Myth. Dwarves here are not killing machines in horned helmet dual-wielding axes. They are fragile little dudes that throw molotov-coctails at enemies. Well, maybe dwarves once were killing machines in plate mails dualwielding battlehammers, but those days are long gone. Most of dwarves are dead, their homeland overrun but Ghols and all that is left of this, once proud race, are those cute little dudes that throw exploding shit at Thralls.

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    We formed our soldiers into something resembling a regiment of gritty war veterans of Legion and we prepare to launch counter-attack before undead will threaten the village (and we FAIL horribly at that, holy shit just you WATCH).

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    We move towards the enemy swingin' our swords, looking all scary and shit.

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    But enemy don't seem to be very impressed. In fact, they order an assault. See those violet-purple-whatever flying guys in the right? Those are Soulless, Fallen Lords javelin throwers. Since they are flying they can move anywhere and don't care much about terrain.

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    Undead send some Ghols to harass us. Ghols are not undead themselves but serve in Fallen Lords armies as a fast moving scouts and are generally bane of dwarfs existance.

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    We order our fir'Bolgs to scare the Ghols away, since shouting "PUSS PUSS!" didn't worked.

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    We had to send some warriors to tell those bastards to bugger off because they make our dorf nervous.

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    While we were fucking around with Ghols, main undead force attacked. So yes, I was outwitted by AI. Not a very big achievement for AI though...

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    And everybody was screaming and shouting (especially Conlan since he got hit with Soulless spear) and there was general chaos and disorder.

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    We order fir'Bolgs to shoot at Soulless while dwarf is getting into position to chuck some flaming shit at thralls.

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    But there was no ESSPLOSHUN! so we order everybody to RUN FOR THEIR LIFES!!!

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    And the Ghols are back.

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    Well, at least Ghols are dead... some of them.

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    We continue our "tactical" ekhem, retreat while dwarf is throwing molotovs at Thralls. But don't do much damage.

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    Something exploded, finally.

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    Well, dwarf is killing some of them. But we kinda got little bit close to the village.

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    Even fir'Bolg got some!

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    But Soulless are coming.

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    We order fir'Bolg to shoot Soulless while warriors attack remaining Thralls.

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    There is only one Soulless left so we order to CHARGE!

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    ... nevermind.

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    Now we have a bit of problem here. Undead are pressing us and we would have to split our forces in order to drag the undead away from the village. OR we could fall back into the village (sacrificing few villagers probably) and make our defence there. Since we are elite special forces part of the Legion we decide to... sacrifice villagers.

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    We regrouped and we are in the process of chucking flaming shit, shooting arrows and making generally a nuisance of ourselves.

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    But soon we are overwhelmed and we have to reatreat to the village.

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    Well, we reached center of the village and now we must made our last stand here.

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    One of our warriors died, but in chaos of battle we have no idea who, and to be honest, we don't give a crap.

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    We order our warrios to fall back and let fir'Bolgs deal with soulless.

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    Soulless decided to reatreat. Village have been saved (sort of) and everybody is cheering by shouting "HOLY SHIT I'M ALIVE!" then they shag some of the village sheeps and fall on the floor completely exhausted...

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  3. Esquilax Arcane

    Esquilax
    Joined:
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    Messages:
    4,713
    :yeah:

    What an amazing game this was. I have fond memories of not only the great campaign, but the amazing multiplayer as well.
     
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  4. Zdzisiu Arcane

    Zdzisiu
    Joined:
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    Messages:
    3,341
    Are you using any mods? Texture packs? I'm not sure if the first game looked that good without some texture packs.

    Also:

    Casualty!
     
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  5. asongforsimeon Educated

    asongforsimeon
    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2013
    Messages:
    73
    Non SOTH-hard, but pretty hard nonetheless. Good choice. There are some tough guys in potatoland, I see.
     
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  6. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
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    Location:
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    A Traitor's Grave

    Show Spoiler
    A Traitor's Grave
    Tuesday Augst 5, King's Highway



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    Unfortunately you don't choose your troops in Myth. You have to do with what you'v been given. And we didn't got any melee units, oh well.

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    We meet our guide and tell him that we are looking for middle-aged guy...

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    Our guide's name is Fulbart. And mr. Fulbart is only example of crappy voice acting in this game, every one else have stellar voice overs.

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    Bullfart is guiding us to the Mayor, but we are being followed by Ghol.

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    Ghols failed their hide roll and decided to regroup before attacking us again.

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    This is not most formidable force we encountered so far and they choosed obvious way to approach so dealing with them should be just a formality.

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    They brought Soulless with them though, so we order some of our archers to dance in serpentine pattern to avoid javelins while the rest is shooting.

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    We danced Soulless to death and we can continue our quest.

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    We can't seem to take even five steps without being attacked. This time Soulless have Thralls supporting them. But we are more afraid of javelin chuckers to be honest, Thralls are too slow, and there is just a few of them.

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    We send Ori forward to deal with Thralls. This can make him target for Soulless but we hope that few hits by javelins won't kill him. Also, those shields next to Ori's name are his experience points. More experience unit has, more effective it is, obviously. Ori have full set of shields so he will be better at chucking flaming stuff at thralls.

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    Well, Ori annoyed Thralls. But not much beyond that.

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    We fall back a little bit and continue our struggle.



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    Ori don't approve of Ghols bullshit.

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    We had to fall back even further but goddamn Ghols are gone so dealing with Thralls is just a matter of time.

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    Thrall-Ghol-Soulless trio is dealt with, but one of our archer is badly wounded so we order our Journeyman to heal him.

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    Those fat guys in silly furs are basically healers. They carry 6 "mandrake roots" that can be used either to heal your unit OR to kill one undead (and this is actually very useful later in the game... much, much later).

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    Archer is healed up and we continue to follow bullfart.

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    And here is our target. Dude on the left, not the Thrall who seems to by screaming "fuck my unlifee!".

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    We decide that frontal attack is not worthy of our special forces training and we prepare an ambush among dem trees.

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    Our target approaches. Mayor seems to be given name "Mayor" at birth so there would be now misunderstandings about who's in charge in Otter Ferry.

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    But our special force got fucking stuck in the trees...

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    Meanwhile, bullfart is getting raped by Ghols but we don't have time for such trivialities.

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    We finally managed to find our way between dem sneaky trees and we are ready to jump on our pray like enraged tiger.

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    We have been flanked by Ghols so we send Journeyman to beat the shit out of them with his shovel.

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    While Journeyman was busy bashing Ghols with a shovel Ori managed to essplode Mayor. And mission is over before we got killed by Ghols...

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  7. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
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    I'm using Project Magma's 1.5 Unofficial Patch which allows to play Myth with OpenGl support. It also removes problems with playing Myth on newer systems (Vista and 7 I guess, never had problem with this game on XP even without Magma's patch). But this patch makes videos and briefings not in full screen unfortunately.

    http://projectmagma.net/
     
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  8. Corporate_Jew_Master Arcane

    Corporate_Jew_Master
    Joined:
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    Rape
    You should provide links to the into videos of each mission.

    Myth had the best storyteller VA out of any game, period. 10 years later I still remember that voice and whole paragraphs of the thing.
     
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  9. Zdzisiu Arcane

    Zdzisiu
    Joined:
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    I was just checking that site myself. Thanks for the info!
     
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  10. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
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    You are right. Problem is, I'm on win98 and Adobe seemed to stop supporting Flash Player 9 and every software site I visited deleted their links to Flash 9. And more recent versions don't work on win98. Actually, I have found some working links to flash player 9 but some 1,5MB versions that simply don't work in my case. Only flash player that made youtube working on win98 for me was 230 or so MB Flash Player 9 and I can't find it anywhere now.

    I think this is last update for today so I may actually install XP just to be able to provide links for briefings, they are worth it. Mr. Corporate Jew Master is right, Myth narrator is great, he's no Tony Jay, mind you, but that's probably what make him more believable as a "one of many soldiers".

    EDIT: well, it turned out that this tiny flashplayer actually does work, but only with Internet Explorer, goddamit. I'v added links to cutscenes. I was unable to find any usable briefing videos, the one I found were just fan made videos + recording of narrator voice, but quality is so poor that you can barely tell what dude is talking so they are useless to me.
     
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  11. CaptainAwesome Arcane

    CaptainAwesome
    Joined:
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    844
  12. Mrowak Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Mrowak
    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2008
    Messages:
    3,938
    Project: Eternity
    Follow my lead my potato brother and soon you will master the sacred and ancient art of linking to your own posts:

    First,

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    Then,

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    The result will look like this:

    Act 1 - Myth: the Fallen Lords

    Carry on good sir. :salute: Myth is one of the greatest games of my childhood. :tearofapotato:
     
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  13. Zdzisiu Arcane

    Zdzisiu
    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2009
    Messages:
    3,341
    Another quick question. You seem to have a more zoom out view than I do on those screenshots. I push the zoom out key to maximum and I still have the camera pretty low and that makes my field of view quite small. Anything I can do about it? Its a standard laptop resolution on 1366x768 so it may be the reason.


    Edit:

    I went with playing Myth I campaing on the engine of Myth II, and all my zoom problems seems to be gone as Myth II lets me set the resolution to my laptop default.
     
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  14. eklektyk Erudite

    eklektyk
    Joined:
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    1,738
    Location:
    mexico of europe
    :yeah:keep 'em coming
     
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  15. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
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    Location:
    Poland
    The Siege of Madrigal

    Show Spoiler
    The Siege of Madrigal
    Friday August 8, Otter Ferry



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    Well, that's actually pretty big force we got here. Too bad we didn't get any dwarfs.

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    But we have Bevis the Ghol Spotter.

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    No time for any witty maneuvers so we order a charge.

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    Like so.

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    Its nice to have some warmup before more serious fighting anyway.

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    The Ghols are dead and we can continue to the bridge unmolested.

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    Or not.

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    Time to get dirty again.

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    ARE YOU FUCKING DONE YET, GHOLS?!

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    Ok, I think they're done.

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    We re-group and after putting two warrior dudes to cover archers back, we start to move towards the bridge.

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    We scare some Ghols off and then we start to make a plan how to cross the bridge.

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    Bridge seems to be guarded only by couple of Soulless but behind them is much larger undead force and frontal assault would end in bloodbath. So we decide to abuse AI use tactics.

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    But first we need to deal with those Soulless.

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    We used two units to get javelin chuckers attention and then we tell all our archers to shoot them while dancing around to avoid spears thrown in our general direction.

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    Our archers are not amazingly experienced but they can deal with couple of Soulless.

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    There is Jimi Hendrix joke in there somwhere.

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    Now we must somehow kill those guys. It won't be very difficult, just tedious.

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    We send three archers there (bridge is too narrow to send more) and shoot Soulless and fall back when they try to shoot back. If you step off the bridge enemies guarding it will go back to their positions. Archers shoot slightly faster and I think they have slightly longer range so Soulless don't really have a chance. You can call it abusing the AI but you can also larp that since they are brainless undead they will just carry their order (guard the bridge) no matter what hapens. Like I did, to feel bit better about myself.

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    Well, we repeated this whole process until all Soulless were dead. It's not really that tedious since you can speed-up the game (up to 16x times).

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    Couple Thralls were following Soulless into our death trap so we ordered our warriors to chop them to pieces.

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    Close-ups for IMMERSHUN! sake.

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    Bridge is ours now. We order everyone to get to the other side, we send archers first to weaken Thralls if they decide to attack us.

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    Serious tactical shit like you never saw before.

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    We order one dude to cheer in honour of our glorious victory over the bridge.

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    Ok, back to the business. Taking the bridge was only first part of our mission. We now have to find part of the army that besieges Madrigal and force their asses to chase us.

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    We have heard a strange noise. Like something is... shrieking.

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    Wights. Suicide bombers of Fallen Lords armies. They will try to get near your soldiers and then detonates themselves but cutting their bellies with a knife. And fun fact, noise they are making is the same sound as Rat Ogre's shriek in Shadow of the Horned Rat. This sound is very often used in movies and games, I think it's sound of leather glove dragged over bass strings.

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    We shoot the fucker with arrows.

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    ESSPLOSION!

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    Getting over the bridge was nothing to shrug about and now we got ourselves surrounded by exploding dudes. Join the Legion they said...

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    See the fucking world they said...

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    But exploding dudes?

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    They didn't even fucking mentioned it.

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    After exploding what was to explode we prepare to get our sorry asses closer to enemy camp.

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    And here they are, now we must make them follow us back to the bridge.

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    CASUALTY!

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    We fended off Ghols attack but now we must GTFO, liek, fast.

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    Faster than that.

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    FASTER GODDAMIT!

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    Almost there!

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    Fucking map designers man, bunch of trolls.

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    We essploded the dude-trap and we are getting our asses to the other side of the bridge.

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    I don't know what we supposed to achieve by dragging enemy army five steps from their camp, but I just follow the orders.

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    Much rejoicing.

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    And three causualties.
     
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  16. Corporate_Jew_Master Arcane

    Corporate_Jew_Master
    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2012
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    Location:
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    Ah, good memories from that mission.

    Would like to see how well you fare in the Tain.
     
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  17. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
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    I'm pretty sure I will fuck-snap at mission in which you get only Berserkers* and probably lower difficulty for this one.

    * You know which one, I don't want to spoil what this mission is about in case that someone who doesn't know this game. is reading this.
     
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  18. Deuce Traveler Prestigious Gentleman 2012 Newfag Patron

    Deuce Traveler
    Joined:
    May 11, 2012
    Messages:
    2,532
    Location:
    United States
    Grab the Codex by the pussy Divinity: Original Sin Torment: Tides of Numenera Shadorwun: Hong Kong Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    Brofisted two of your posts for your taking the extra time to draw arrows and commentary into your pictures. 3 updates in a day. You are really putting some effort into this.

    :salute:

    Edit: I just checked to see if GOG is selling this game, but it looks like they are not. I'm now a sad Codexer.
     
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  19. Esquilax Arcane

    Esquilax
    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2010
    Messages:
    4,713
    Amen to that. You are a goddamn machine, bro. I love this good shit.

    :bro:
     
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  20. agentorange Arcane Patron

    agentorange
    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2012
    Messages:
    4,147
    Codex 2012
    Great work. You can really crank these let's plays out.

    I remember getting Myth 2 for a Christmas gift, but I was too feeble to beat it so I just cheated my way through it :oops: . Distinctly remember those dwarves though, and how fun it was to blow undead scum to bits with their bombs.
     
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  21. Bluebottle Erudite Patron

    Bluebottle
    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Messages:
    1,182
    Dead State Wasteland 2
    Fucking good choice. Hoped the hint at the end of the SOTHR LP was pointing to this.
     
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  22. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,053
    Location:
    Poland
    Thanks for comments. As for my ms paint arrerz, it's sometimes hard to point out that's something important is going on on screenshot, our soldiers moving to attack enemy for example, and writing "and then we order... and then we order..." etc. may not do the trick and there is language barrier and I don't want to repeat myself too much because of poor vocabulary. So I started to draw those arrows in SotHR LP and they do pretty good work at explaining some stuff. And for the comments on screenshots - dead soldiers in Myth are always replaced for next mission (by fresh troops) and it makes them much more expendable than SotHR regiments so I couldn't give them too much character, but I also didn't want them to be completely silent.

    And finally for updating speed. Fortunately I choose mission based games for my first LP's and that makes updating LP very easy and quick since I know how long one update have to last and don't have to worry if update is too short or too long, so I just spam them as they go.
     
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  23. DraQ Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    DraQ
    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2007
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    Chrząszczyżewoszyce, powiat Łękołody
    THAT's what I call enjoyable RT micro, not some IE shit.
    :salute:

    Shit, I really need to find Myth dilogy somewhere, I only played 2 and was still much of a wuss back then.

    BTW: I LOL'd at Ghols going "TROLOLO" - I think only someone who has played 1 or 2 can truly appreciate that.
    :lol:

    And while the troops might expendable, troops that don't get replaced grow in experience and become awsum.

    tl;dr
    :avatard:
     
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  24. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,053
    Location:
    Poland
    Homecoming

    Show Spoiler
    Homecoming
    Monday September 15, Outskirts of Tyr



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    DEAR DIARY.

    TODaY WAS A GoOD DAY. WE WerE SEND TO REtRIEVE THE TOtAL KKODEX oR SOME SHIeT, AND THEN WE WERE ALL LiEK "CASAUltY! CASUalTY!" LOL.


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    Part of our forces teleported through the knot. We must now roll in special forces manner avoiding javelins screaming "GO GO GO!" "SECTOR CLEAR!" and all that jazz and then get our asses OUT of the knot to make way for the rest of our highy trained killing machines.

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    Like so.

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    Our archers joined us but Ghols thought they will be easy target and decided to attack. We send our warriors to deal with them.

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    And then quickly order archers to shoot at Soulless.

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    Myth AI may seem braindead but sometimes it's capable of doing sensible things, for example Soulless lost their melee support so they won't attack us straight away and will try only to harass us little bit until they get more help.

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    While archers are trying to deal with Soulless our Journeyman arrives. He's the only unit that can carry Kkodex so it's crucial to keep him alive. Also, JOURNEYMAN iST COMPUTAR! NARRATUR!.

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    I don't know who the fuck would put KKodex in such a sacred place so it's must be doing of evil.

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    We outwitted Soulless (Achievment unlocked!) by pretentind to retreat and then shooting them with archers and we are ready to go search for the Kkodex.

    Puddles of water or somesuch. We can cross them allright, but water will put down fuses of dwarfs bombs so we must be careful.

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    Also, REFLEKSHUN! this game is so fucking next-gen man.

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    We quickly cross puddles of water in hope that we can avoid fighting in them. But we were immediately attacked by undead.

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    We sort of avoided fighting in water but now we must fight up-hill. We also send warriors close to get some heat off the archers. Warriors are in tight formation so Soulless will surely hit someone, but I prefer to loose warriors than archers to be honest.

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    Goddamit, Thralls. Well, this will probably mean we will have to fall back to puddles of water.

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    We harass Thralls with dorfs trying NOT to throw two molotovs in one place. It's fine if they explode at the same time, but that rarely happens. Usually when you throw two bombs at the same place explosion of one will throw another one in random direction... and if they hit your dorfs man... Each dwarf carry couple of satchel charges than cane be used to place "mine fields" for large enemy groups, if dorf essplodes - satchel charges also go off and BOOOM!. It's hilarious as fuck, but you have to reload afterwards...

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    Ok, now we must seriously fall back.

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    Actually, dorfs managed to severly weaken Thralls before we reached water so we order our warriors to attack.

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    Total War ain't got shit on this game.

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    Ok, Thralls are chopped to pieces.

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    Now we order our archers to deal with Soulless like Legion instructional movies shows how it should be done.

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    We got hurt in the process. We should fucking sue Costner.

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    And more Soulless are coming!

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    We send warriors to flank them, and also we try to get one badly wounded archer out of Javelin Rape Zone.

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    But we failed. CASUALTY!

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    I realised that sending all wariors in tight formation there is a waste of lives. So three weak and wounded brave warriors were pushed out by the rest volunteered to attack javelin chuckers.

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    We order them to split and attack. Soulless actually were quite confused by this turn of events.

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    And they called for support.

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    But we had enough time to pick off couple of them.

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    Ok, now GTFO.

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    CASUALTY!

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    And now begins the process of chucking flaming shit.

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    How many shit can chuckling Chuck chuck?

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    Alot is the answer, if there are two chucking Chucks. Thralls are weakend enough and we send our warriors to attack.

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    We really shouldn't have done that. But I was impatient and those are early missions. In later ones game will not allow us to get away with shit like that.

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    CASUAlTY!

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    Ok, thralls are dead-dead and we use our archers to shoot remaining Soulless.

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    Purple Haze all around!

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    Ok, we are done. Now GET TO DA KKODEX!

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    It's here. Corpses of group that was sent here previously are also here. They must have had dwarfs with them, because we see satchel charges "mine field". Well, setting a mine field didn't fucking helped them much.

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    But we are not the previous group and we can deal with some undead. We choose "Aethelwulf" to scout ahead. You can recognise this guy from previous mission. He was one warrior we put at the bridge to help archers abuse the AI.

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    He got Thrall's attention and we order him to get back to where the rest of our soldiers are.

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    Draggin poor undeads into Thrall Rape Zone.

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    But while we were raping Thralls, more undead arrived.

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    But we were prepared and our hidden warriors jump on Soulless like enraged, bloodthirsty siberian lion.

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    But we must order them to fall back because more Thralls are coming.

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    One warrior slashes Soulless while retreating becasue he's badass like that.

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    Then we send dwarves into the fray. Also we use two warriors to drag some undead somwhere else.

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    Drofs kinda botched their job and we must charge with warriors.

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    Thralls decides that they have better things to do than fighting our warriors... and just go away.

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    They didn't even try to fight back so we just chopped them to pieces. It fucking confused the shit out of me to be honest, I thought they are trying to lead us into a trap, but no. They were just... walking away man, just walking away... like, they didn't want to fight anymore, like something broke inside them and they just... I don't know man, the horros of war... THE HORROR.

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    Ok, Thralls are dead so we order Four Serpent Seeking Shadow to get the KKodex.

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    It would be nice if we could go back the way we came here, but no such luck.

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    Serpent Seeking Shadow Panther thinks he knows better way out and leads us straight into fucking Ghol trap.

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    Ghols can pick-up EVERY item lying in the battlefield, be it hand or leg, sword or someones head and throw it at you. They can also carry exploding pieces of Wights... take your guess what those Ghols are carrying...

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    Yup, Wights pieces. And we are surrounded by those damn Ghols. Good job Serpent Seeking Panther Faggot, fucking good job.

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    We were fending off those cunts for something that seemed like eternity. And they were constantly throwing some shit at us. Now I know how the AI feels in this game.

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    Four Faggots Serpent Shadow Seeking Panther was hit by wight piece. Suits him well, it was he's idea to go this way.

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    and this whole "Throw Random Shit at Unfortunate Legion Soldiers" was just a diversion to give Thralls and Soulless enough time to get to us.

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    So we are just getting the fuck out of here no matter what. Ghols can keep throwing shit if they want. We are OUT!

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    We reached fabled Invisible Line Marking End of the Map and someone screamed "beam me up scotty!" and mission is over.

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    Undead were dissapointed that map designers decided to end this mission in such cheap way.

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    CASUALTIES!
     
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  25. Ivar the Boner Arcane

    Ivar the Boner
    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,053
    Location:
    Poland
    bump for next page
     
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