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Completed Let's play Tale of Wuxia - Comic Sans Optional
- Thread starter RK47
- Start date
Dongfang Bubai is literally a guy who studied martial arts that turned him into a woman...basically Edwina.
Dongfang Bubai, literally "Invincible East", is a fictional character in the wuxia novel The Smiling, Proud Wanderer by Jin Yong. He is the leader of the Sun Moon Holy Cult (日月神教; Rì Yuè Shén Jiào), an "unorthodox" martial arts sect. In his quest to dominate the wulin (martial artists' community), he castrated himself to fulfil the prerequisite for learning the skills in a martial arts manual known as the Sunflower Manual (葵花寶典; Kuíhuā Bǎodiǎn), and became a formidable martial artist after mastering those skills. His castration and supreme prowess in martial arts make him one of the most memorable characters in Jin Yong's wuxia universe even though he appears in only one chapter of the novel. His name has also become virtually synonymous with homosexuality and LGBT sexual orientations in Chinese popular culture.[1]
Dongfang Bubai, literally "Invincible East", is a fictional character in the wuxia novel The Smiling, Proud Wanderer by Jin Yong. He is the leader of the Sun Moon Holy Cult (日月神教; Rì Yuè Shén Jiào), an "unorthodox" martial arts sect. In his quest to dominate the wulin (martial artists' community), he castrated himself to fulfil the prerequisite for learning the skills in a martial arts manual known as the Sunflower Manual (葵花寶典; Kuíhuā Bǎodiǎn), and became a formidable martial artist after mastering those skills. His castration and supreme prowess in martial arts make him one of the most memorable characters in Jin Yong's wuxia universe even though he appears in only one chapter of the novel. His name has also become virtually synonymous with homosexuality and LGBT sexual orientations in Chinese popular culture.[1]
5 - Dunno lah
You're welcome. I just did what I should and I can't take all the credit. We should also thank Shi for stepping forward bravely and stalling them until I got here. His courage is admirable.
Well... It's kinda of embarrassing actually cause I didn't stand a chance against them. Were it not for Gu, I would've been dead already.
Martial arts skills can be gained through training, but chivalrous hearts are few and far between.
I could not have put it better myself.
Heheheh...
I need to send them back to Yamen. If you'll excuse me...
Farewell.
Money would be good lah...
Everything is fine as long as you're OK!
What is WRONG with you? You're not acting like ME!
We both owe it to Gu, our savior, hahah!
Don't call me that. I truly admire your courage and see you as my friend. It's only natural that friends help each other.
This man is too straight and has a narrow morality. Useful, but can be troublesome when flexible solutions are needed.
It's my great honor to become a friend to a great hero like you, Gu!
A useful Lawful Idiot for now.
I've heard Wei mention Xiaoyao Valley before. He spoke highly of you in terms of martial arts and moral integrity. Now I can see he was right all along!
I'm honored to be held in high regard by the young master of Changhong Security Escorts.
You're Shi Di Fen, right?
Correct. Shi Di Fen is indeed my name. Dawn of War is my game. Come join our tourney Season 2 today. Click here to find out more!
You don't know any martial arts yet yet you speak like a Xia in Jianghu!
Xia is actually 'hero' in Chinese. I don't know why the translator did not bother writing that instead. Wu Xia translates into 'martial heroes.' I'll use the term 'hero' from now on since it sounds less awkward. Forgive me comrades if you think this is improper lah. I mean friends.
I do appreciate you trying to save you, but you really could've gotten yourself killed!
Believe me, girl. The choice wasn't mine to make...
Eh... I didn't give it too much thought back there. I just saw a girl in danger and felt the urge to step forward. In fact, my legs are still trembling now when I think of what just happened...
How can you admit that you think with your penis so openly? Shameful! Ancestors lose face liao!
Oh, here comes trouble! If I let Wei see me, he'll bombard me with questions. I must go now. My name is Qi Li, and everyone calls me Li. If you visit Luoyang, be sure to stop by! My father and I usually perform on stage which is very easy to find.
Performance eh? Probably musical instrument.
I'll treat you to a feast when you come by, heheh!
Can't wait.
And with that, Qi Li runs off...
Luoyang? I'm going there to admire the statue of Nobody the Hero!
This translation.
Are you going to Luoyang, too? I'm going there to run errands for my master. How about we team up and go there together?
Great! You can power level me along the way!
Be happy to! But I'd like to stick around here in Dukang Valley for a little bit to see if there's anything interesting to see. Are you in a hurry?
No, I'm not. OK, let's hang around the village till the Hour of Shen and then leave for Luoyang.
To Be Continued Lah
Money would be good lah...
What is WRONG with you? You're not acting like ME!
This man is too straight and has a narrow morality. Useful, but can be troublesome when flexible solutions are needed.
A useful Lawful Idiot for now.
Xia is actually 'hero' in Chinese. I don't know why the translator did not bother writing that instead. Wu Xia translates into 'martial heroes.' I'll use the term 'hero' from now on since it sounds less awkward. Forgive me comrades if you think this is improper lah. I mean friends.
Believe me, girl. The choice wasn't mine to make...
How can you admit that you think with your penis so openly? Shameful! Ancestors lose face liao!
Performance eh? Probably musical instrument.
Can't wait.
And with that, Qi Li runs off...
This translation.
Great! You can power level me along the way!
To Be Continued Lah
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Baron Dupek
Arcane
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2013
- Messages
- 1,870,829
I need more popcorn for all this stuff
gud thread
6 - Don't waste my time lah
At least Emperors get to eat ten-course dinners and concubines. You'd be lucky to even eat chicken.
No idea what this poem/proverb mean. I'll ask my cousin. See if he's familiar.
(The fortune-teller's words sound kinda profound. Seems to be a master of Taoism.)
Well said with "Joy awaits you; adventure awaits you." The poem you recited, feels vast and free. As a junior, I admire you a lot.
Gu Yuexuan of Xiaoyao Valley, you defeated thirteen fearsome bandits of Shanbei all by yourself. If anything, it should be me admiring you.
You flatter me. As a martial artist, I take it as my duty to bring peace to those in need. It is my honor to be able to use my martial arts to help the villages.
Yawn.
(Gu defeated those bandits, yet he did not claim the glory, what a modest gentleman he is! I am so lucky to know such a great friend.)
Yes, lucky you. We'll have to take advantage of him.
Hah! Wulin is turbulent like restless storms that drive the sea and wind. It is fortunate that a hero like Gu has emerged during times like this. I have nothing of value with me except some knowledge of fortune telling. I have some words for the two of you, would you like to hear them?
We're more than happy to.
Please do tell.
As long as it's free...
Wandering freely across the mysterious Northern Dark Sea, Three Xias laugh at the world of mortals side by side. The dawn has yet to brighten the eastern sky. I look back and see the hardship along the path I've walked.
??? (What did he mean? I have no idea at all.)
...Were you warning us that something bad is awaiting us in the future?
Way to go, Captain Obvious.
It is more of a poem that came to my mind after observing the aura surrounding you two. I'm not even sure of the exact meaning myself, let's just leave it all to fate.
Yes, thank you for the advice.
And you were brave enough to stand against those bandits even without any martial arts training. They were all ruthless men who would not even blink in the face of murder, why did you choose to fight?
To be honest, I did it because of the cute girl...
Haha, you're an interesting man! However, I saw an unpleasant air surrounding the area at the bottom of your forehead, are you injured?
You can try pressing the area three inches below your belly button if you don't believe me.
...isn't that the groin?
...Hey, how come? It's actually quite sore! So not only you can tell fortunes, you can also check for illness!
As a traveling taoist, I have to practice the five basic arts, which are Mountain, Healing, Living, Appearance, and Observing. I dare not say I am well versed in all the arts, but I do know a thing or two about each of them.
I am afraid your injury has been with you for a long time. I suspect it was already with you since you were a baby within your mother. Mabe your mother was always constantly under stress both physically and mentally during pregnancy, which left a mark on you.
...My mom... I see.
This smells like a scam.
So is there any way to cure the injury?
Of course there is. I think it was fate that united us here today, you can leave the curing to me!
Ah! Thank you so much!
Hold on! I have to be honest with you now, seeing that the ingredients for my medicine are complicated, you have to pay me 1000 coins after I cure you.
I knew it.
Huh? One thousand! Erm... I don't have that much money on me...
This is not a small sum of money. I am afraid I cannot gather so much mone-
Never mind, there are lot of ways to earn money here in Dukang Village. Herb gathering, Mining, Fishing, Hunting are all good methods to get some money. Speak no more, I am afraid the injury will get worse if you don't treat it today!
Right.
Erm... alright! I'll try to get one thousand as soon as possible and give it to you. But where do I start?
There are experts in each working field. So the fastest way is to simply ask these experts. You can ask the hunter, the miner and so forth... they all work in this village. You can buy the tools you need from the grocery store. Afterwards you can sell the harvest to any store.
I see. Thank you, sir! I've got to go and earn some money now.
Like real. This is a scam. I won't pay him.
At least Emperors get to eat ten-course dinners and concubines. You'd be lucky to even eat chicken.
No idea what this poem/proverb mean. I'll ask my cousin. See if he's familiar.
Yawn.
Yes, lucky you. We'll have to take advantage of him.
As long as it's free...
Way to go, Captain Obvious.
...isn't that the groin?
This smells like a scam.
I knew it.
Right.
Like real. This is a scam. I won't pay him.
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7 - What the cluck lah
(Hmm... wait a second. If someone wants to perform better in an exam, shouldn't he pray to Lord Wen Chang of Academic Study?)
In order to thank God of the Earth for his blessing, I would like prepare a feast for him. But unfortunately, I suffer a lot from back and lumbar pain of late. It's really hard for me to move around. Could I ask you a favor? I'll be extremely happy if you can help me with the preparation of the sacrifice.
Eh...whatever.
How can I help you, madam?
I need to prepare the Three Sacrifices, which are Chicken, Wild Boar Meat, and Grass Carp. Could you get me one portion of each, please?
We'll see.
Moving west-ward we spot two persons playing a board game in a garden.
No, we will continue! You slick little boy! Win a match and you want to get away with it? Let's rematch! I'll show you who rules the board!
*Sigh* I really want to play hide-and-seek with Doggy.
Hey, you are playing Weiqi, right? You play quite well for a little boy. Impressive.
Can you play?
Not really.
Playing Weiqi is very easy actually. Just learn the Ten Gists of Weiqi, and it will be much easier to play.
Oh? What are the Ten Gists?
Too much greed results in loss; Do not rush into opponent's sphere of influence before you're fully prepared; remember to command harass; Reserve energy for defense while attacking, Abandon certain stones to hold the initiative on the board; Abandon less profit for the purpose of getting more; Sacrifice stones when the whole game is at stake...
Weighing and considering are essential before each move; Counter shift with shift; Seek survival when the opponent is strong; Seek a drawn game when winning is possible. And remember: try to hit Tier 2 with good ekanami.
I see. I will come to challenge you after I learn the Ten Gists by heart.
Shi Di Fen's chess proficiency has increased by 5.
Weiqi isn't actually chess. It's more akin to Chinese checkers. They call it Go in Japan.
Chinese chess is something else. It is called Xiangqi.
A translation error perhaps?
Hey! Are you playing or not? I've waited long enough.
I'm done. Two of fifteen, pass.
Wh-what! You kept such a trick! Damn, wait. I'll find a way...
Take your time! Big bro, can you do me a favor?
What is it?
I'm craving for plums. If you can bring me some plums. I will pay you back for sure.
Fine. If I find some plums, I'll give them to you.
OK, that's a third task I undertook without knowing where to go...
Hmm. Time's ticking fast. I need to - oh!
One of the Three Sacrifices!
Cluck, cluck!
Come to papa~
Suddenly the Rooster rushed towards the endangered Hen!
Cuck cuck!
Wow! This is one ferocious chicken!
Eh...whatever.
We'll see.
Moving west-ward we spot two persons playing a board game in a garden.
Shi Di Fen's chess proficiency has increased by 5.
Weiqi isn't actually chess. It's more akin to Chinese checkers. They call it Go in Japan.
Chinese chess is something else. It is called Xiangqi.
A translation error perhaps?
OK, that's a third task I undertook without knowing where to go...
Hmm. Time's ticking fast. I need to - oh!
One of the Three Sacrifices!
Suddenly the Rooster rushed towards the endangered Hen!
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10 - The Deadliest Handjob lah
Oh, I'm planting flowers here!
Wow, these flowers look spectacular, what are they?
These are a special species of peony. They're called Fiery Golden Pellet!
That's a very interesting name! Sounds like those golden pellets used by eminent masters to achieve immortality.
Heheh, this Fiery Golden Pellet is also known as Everred. It seldom blossoms and is difficult to grow. Its flower blossoms under its leaves and its color is saturated and harmonious. They said this flower was transformed from the three golden pellets of Lord Lao Zi, and that it first appeared in Qianxi Temple.
Seen from afar, these flowers looked like fireballs. When people come closer, they realized these fireballs were actually peony flowers. Later, the monks from the temple tried to relocate them to be planted elsewhere. Unfortunately, due to the inappropriate season and surroundings, these flowers' inner qi was damaged, thus they no longer emit the fiery glow as before.
After countless generations of reproduction, these flowers found their way into families of ordinary people. And because they first appeared in Qianxi Temple, people also refer them as Qianxi Crimson. The famous scholar of Song Dynasty, Ouyang Xiu wrote in his Luoyang Peony: There was a time when the Thousand-leafed Peony didn't exist and the Left-purple Peony just start gaining its fame. But forty years later by now, the best peony is crowned only to Qianxi Crimson.
This Fiery Golden Pellet is indeed astounding, never had I imagined that it has such an epic history.
Shi Di Fen's flower proficiency has increased by 5!
Well at least we got something out of that word salad.
He's breathing! I can tell from his uniform that he's a member of the Tianshan Sect. Hey dude, hold on! Can you hear me?
Dude! You just said dude, dude! That's so unlike you, dude!
Hong?? Is she your lover?
Hong and I fell in love with each other... But she is... a member of the Sura Palace...
What! You just said the Sura Palace?
Sura Palace? Yuexuan, what is that?
Sura Palace is a secret organization. Its leader, Asura, is a powerful woman and formidable fighter, who is said to be one of the Eight Guardians of the Cult! Sura Palace only takes female members. They generally hate men of any kind. It's said that their creed is to KILL ALL CHEATING MEN IN THE WORLD...
That's oddly specific. Butthurt detected?
What's more, members of Sura Palace are forbidden to get involve in relationship with men. If anyone breaks the rule... the couple will be faced with extremely tough punishment.
What!! Are these women out of their mind?
They need the D.
*cough* We truly love... each other... We would rather die... than live separate lives... without each other! *cough*
Well. you're separated now, buddy. Time to die, I guess. It's over. XD
You are seriously wounded. You'd better not talk for now. I'll get a doctor for you.
That's useless... I'm suffering from... serious internal injury... It's caused by Sura Palace's unique skill... which is called Sura's Six Hand Technique. This internal injury is too destructive to be healed by regular medicine... Unless I take some Millennium Polygonum Multiflorum.
Hang in there, buddy! We will do our best to find Millennium Polygonum Multiflorum for you. Just rest here.
We? And we're just gonna leave the dude there on the floor? Brilliant RPG.
Yuexuan, where can we find Millenium Polygonum Multiflorum?
I don't know. Let's go and ask the local doctor.
Yeah, so let's go find this... MPM drug.
Shi Di Fen's flower proficiency has increased by 5!
Well at least we got something out of that word salad.
Dude! You just said dude, dude! That's so unlike you, dude!
That's oddly specific. Butthurt detected?
They need the D.
Well. you're separated now, buddy. Time to die, I guess. It's over. XD
We? And we're just gonna leave the dude there on the floor? Brilliant RPG.
Yeah, so let's go find this... MPM drug.
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11 - Non Playable Chinese
Who are you and why are you telling me this? Can you imagine walking on the streets and suddenly this stranger just babbling about some relationship issues. I don't even live here.
Now Zhi is seriously ill and no doctor has been able to cure him thus far. Serves him right for mistreating his wife. I think Chuntao will be better off without him. She deserves someone better.
Is that why you chase her around?
You got it!
Kids these days.
Don't run~
Go and tell her then, I don't care and I'm not afraid of her!
What an adorable little couple.
Gulp~ I am hungry again. How I long for a bear's paw and a bottle of Dukang wine.
(What an insane dirty monk.)
I'm too scared to go out there to do my firewood cutting now. I don't think you should hang around there too often.
Tiger?? Did you really see a tiger?
I... I didn't see it, but I heard the tiger roar. It was terrifying. I almost puked my guts out.
What do you think, Gu? Could it really be a tiger?
I don't really think so, there has never been any sighting of a tiger here. I guess he is probably mistaken.
Moving on...
Who are you and why are you telling me this? Can you imagine walking on the streets and suddenly this stranger just babbling about some relationship issues. I don't even live here.
Moving on...
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12 - Many more fascinating insight into the azn minds...
Next to the tool seller, is another tradesman.
A blacksmith? Then do you forge weapons?
Of course I do. No matter what kind of weapon, if you can name it then I can forge it. By the looks of you, I guess you are newcomer to Wulin, aye? Interested in buying a weapon or two from me?
I'd like a Halbech missile.
I don't know the location of the Halbech missiles.
There are so many kinds of weapons in the world, I totally have no idea which to choose. Do you have any suggestions?
Are you serious? The type of weapon that you wield is determined by the style of your martial art! For example, the Clan of Heaven's Sword from Luoyang uses the sword, the Gentleman of All Arms. Likewise, members of Changhong Security Escorts wield broadswords, the Overlord of all Arms.
Even if you hold the most powerful weapon this world has ever known in your hand, without martial arts training, you are still no match for any trained martial artist.
Well...
Yeah, Shi, this mister speaks the truth. I think you don't need to worry about buying a weapon just yet. Why don't you pick a master and learn some martial arts first, then you can think about picking a weapon.
If you say so, I think I'd better find a master. Anyway, it seems that you fight bare-handed in battle, right?
My martial arts style focuses on Quan (fist) and Zhang (palm), therefore I do not carry weapons with me.
Wow that's awfully convenient. Maybe that is the best style to pick if you don't want to spend a lot of money for weapons?
What am I thinking? Those RPG devs would probably add fighting gloves! For balanced Ekanami.
Das Rite!
I see. Well then, sir, what is all the hammering for?
In the smelting process, the ore must be repeatedly hammered to become a fine piece of metal.
You also have to keep an eye on heat control, water quality, and even the time of day in order to forge a good weapon.
Wow. I never thought forging weapons could be so complicated. I wonder if I can forge my own weapons one day.
If you wish to learn how to craft weapons, I suggest you start with mining. I'll tell you what, you go out there and bring me five Iron Ores. I will not only pay you with money, but also give you a little demonstration of how I do my work.
That sounds agreeable. I already have a shovel. I'll get some ore later. If I know where to get one.
Why is that?
Oh, it's all because of some nonsense. Two days ago, he fetched me some carp but I commented that one of them was not fleshy enough, which upsets him. Then he decided not to sell me any fish for one whole week. What a handful, isn't he?
Haha, this old man has quite a temper.
You bet. *sigh* Young man, if you know how to fish, would you please fetch me five carps? I will pay you the market price of 200 Qian each! You know what? Let me sweeten the deal, if you bring me all 5 carps at once, I'll pay you double! 2000 Qian!
That's a lot of Qian, man. Ok, if I catch five of them, I'll come back to you!
It's overrrrr XD
Hey, can't you see I was about to reel in this big fish here? It's gone now thanks to you! *Sigh*!
I'm really sorry! You seemed like you know quite a lot about fishing, sir. I've heard that you're the expert, so I'm guessing you're also the supplier of fishes in town?
DAS RITE! My name is Yi Xiyue, and I know of no-one who can fish better than I can within ten-mile radius. I know all sort of fishing techniques and the types of bait. Even the Rainbow Carp, which is also known as the King of Carp can be caught by me.
That's amazing! Would you please teach me the techniques of fishing?
Go away, kid. No way I'll just teach anyone my techniques, you think I'm stupid? Get out of my sight!
I heard rumors that this fisherman loves a certain brand of rice wine. So I bribed him with it.
I heard that your favorite drink is Jimo Wine, so I bought one for you immediately.
Oh! Did you say Jimo wine? Gib! Ahhh what a lovely taste lah! I can see that you are quite sincere liao. OK lah, I guess I'll teach you my fishing techniques.
The most important thing about fishing is patience. And remember, different areas of water house different types of fish. After you throw your bait, it'll take a while before it settles down. The better quality your fishing rod is, the quicker it'll settle down.
Then it's just a matter of waiting for the fish to take the bait liao. If you want to capture the king of carp, the Rainbow Carp, you will need the red worm as bait.
After the fish is hooked, it'll use all its power to escape, and the rod is almost uncontrollable at this point, making it easy to break the line if you try too hard to pull the fish in. So just wait till it gets tired of struggling and eventually stop moving., then pull it in as hard as you can until the next time your rod becomes uncontrollable., then you stop pulling. Wait until the fish is tired again and quickly pull it in.
Repeat these steps and you'll be able to catch any fish without breaking a sweat, these are my secrets of fishing.
I see now. Thank you so much. I sure have learned a lot.
And in return for you bringing me such tasty wine, I'd like you to have this rod and some baits.
Fishing skill increased by 5.
And I got the same wooden fishing gear I just bought and some earthworm.
Damn. What a waste of Qian to buy them earlier!
Wow that's awfully convenient. Maybe that is the best style to pick if you don't want to spend a lot of money for weapons?
What am I thinking? Those RPG devs would probably add fighting gloves! For balanced Ekanami.
Das Rite!
That sounds agreeable. I already have a shovel. I'll get some ore later. If I know where to get one.
It's overrrrr XD
I heard rumors that this fisherman loves a certain brand of rice wine. So I bribed him with it.
Fishing skill increased by 5.
And I got the same wooden fishing gear I just bought and some earthworm.
Damn. What a waste of Qian to buy them earlier!
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