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Completed Let's REMOVE KEBAB in EU 3 Mare Apertum: Return of SERBIA STRONG

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Cassidy, Dec 5, 2012.

  1. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    Forward to page 5!

    ==================

    [​IMG]REMOVE KEBAB FROM CROATIOA

    Trailer Music: The Serbian Witcher 2: Assassin of Kebabs

    [​IMG]

    fukc the asshol boyar i spit in the eye and mouth and heraldy of your family

    Albania still can be repair, for most remain ORTHODOX STRONG resist when Albania was liberate by Serbia, no need to return to precious mongolia.

    Then, legion too big for Serbia to stand chance march to Macedonia, Serbian forces retret, and another legion advances to Albania, but this time, like before, the Serbians make their stand led by despot Lazar IV.

    [​IMG]

    The legion attacks. The Serbian forces are greatly disvantage because of depletion of the Husaria, but they stand STRONG and defend their clay with bravery.

    [​IMG]

    REMOVE KEBAB FROM CROATIOA!

    turk garisson genocide best day of my life!

    [​IMG]

    Another important victroy for Serbia, with a dozen of hundred kebabs remove, but unfortunate for Srbija, the allys are not very smart. In fact they are total stupid and fail battle after battle. Near all victroys in war have been Serbian and near all defeats on our side from our stupid allys, only useful as distract fodder for kebab.

    If only we had a truly bright genius and greattst general...

    [​IMG]

    But before retreat, more pig skul crush.

    and of course, fukc the croatioa.

    [​IMG]

    Although in the second battle for Albania we're winner and almost exterminate entire regiments of kebab, massive turk legions are in region and Lazar IV ordered his soldiers to fall back to Serbian clay. Until army can full recover from the greatt sacrifice need to crush the turks like skuls of pig, scorch earth and defense are only options.

    [​IMG]

    Stupid krauts!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    We must be STRONG! Serbia will hold! No surrender, no mercy for kebab, not one step bakc!

    [​IMG]

    Haha stupid asshol turk send isolate forces against Moravian Srbija to be crush lik a skul of pig.

    [​IMG]

    Over thirty thousand farm animals march towards gates of our greattst countrey. Our garissons will hold no matter what. Over thirty thousand skuls of pig once Serbia regains their STRONG to strike bakc! Stupid kebab retreat after attrite and leave isolate forces sieging to be crushed hahahaha.

    [​IMG]

    We are the unbreakkbl barrier. The future of Christian civilization depends on our victroy. Serbians! Ready you brekkfast and eat heart, for tonight we dine kebab!

    While the turks dine ash from scorch earth hahahahahahahaha!

    [​IMG]

    Once again, the brave garisson of Nis defended their clay against an assault by a massive legion of worst turk idiots. Over one hundred seige towers have breached through the walls of Nis... over one hundred seige towers have fall.

    SERBIA STRONG! NIS STRONG!

    [​IMG]

    Serbia deplete so give gold for Tripoli's king of kings of Africa buy new Ferrari and stop bother our countrey.

    [​IMG]

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

    The asshol turks will refuse this so generous peace treatey and then their stability will go down the outhouse!

    [​IMG]

    Damn Magyars would you prefer to be bow to asshol turk? Serbia has no choice but to seek diplomacy here for their manpower is deplete.

    [​IMG]

    Really. Where do the turks get so many farm animals as reinforces? Do they breed like cokcroach? Most likely, they also are worst than cokcroach hahahaha.

    [​IMG]

    Just what Serbia needed right now...

    [​IMG]

    Stupid Poland why you no help Srbija? Why you idiots are waste a massive army in attrite by stack it in province without supply limit to support it? ARE YOU FRENCH WHO LIKE TO SIT IN LINE EATING CROISSANTS? Look we have lots of white flags reserved for turks so...

    hahaha we are give them all to Poland! Fukc you, this way we will have all the glory for ourselves once Constantinopel is Serbian haha!

    (Note: wow, just wow. This is exactly like France AI behavior when you play as Poland in Hearts of Iron 2

    :M
    )

    [​IMG]

    Ha, stupid krauts poor strategy led most of their army to be crush. Srbijan army only understrong, their regiments are still intact and ready for reinforce once manpower allow, for they never lost a single regiment due to being stupid. The good news is that with this, Istria will be ours! Once again: REMOVE KEBAB FROM CROATIA!

    However, Nis is lost. They fought bravely, but with hundreds of seige towers pakced with turk farm animals and our armies deplete, it was only matter of time. REMOVE KEBAB FROM NIS!

    [​IMG]

    Diffrent culture group, never will be accept culture. Shithole province without 2pac's gold like Alba? Hahaha, they can defect to fukcing Mongolia for all we care!

    And funnest thing is that once the rest of Slovakia defects to Poland, then the rebels will be fighting on OUR side against the turk... fukc though we should have been smarttst and sold that shithole to Poland like we did with Carpathia. Wasted opportune.

    [​IMG]

    Eventually, like in Albania, our brave Serbians decide to make a stand for Zeta this time to crush the turks and show them that even with their manpower deplete, they still are much STRONG. However, legion of farm animals was marching for no longer scorch Prizren, and if one Hussar regiment was to make it there, they would have no time to retreat before the legion arrive. Still, they did what they had to.

    [​IMG]

    Leaving nothing but ashes for the worst turk and then disbanding.

    :salute:

    [​IMG]

    Without any Hussars(for they have been fully deplete at this point), without any further support, the brave Serbians nearly wipe out all pony riders of turk asshol and crushed them in Zeta!

    SERBIA STILL STRONG!

    [​IMG]

    Now the time has come to finish REMOVE of KEBAB from croatioa. And by 1589, there won't be much more time before the long occupy of Dalmatians allow Serbia to seize their clay bakc.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    The signs seem small, tiny, irrevelant at first. But while Serbia is deplete of manpower, the worst turk is deplete of something far more important: fear and authority. They are deep in instability, and all across the clay they stole from other peoples, slowly, freedom fighters enabled by Srbija rise against the kebab. To put it brief, while Serbia remain STRONG and united(other than for asshol Slovaks), The Ottoturk Emprahirie is falling apart now by lack of stability and by cripple war exhaust from the massive losses they suffer thanks to the superior of Serbia and to scorch earth, and the longer Serbia carry ons with the war, the greatter their fall even if they don't manage for many years to seize much clay from the kebab. Even if it take decades, even if it take one hundred years, we will crush all turks like a skul of pig! This is total war! TO VICTROY! TAKE BAKC NIS!

    (Note: I just dumped a Hoxha pic in this because: is there any better representative of Albanian freedom fighters?

    :M )

    [​IMG]

    Brave Lazar IV died during retake of Nis as a worst turk had a lucky shoot against him.

    :salute:

    LONG LIVE STEFAN X! GREATT GENERAL! MAY HE LEAD OUR ARMIES TO A DECISIVE VICTROY!

    [​IMG]

    The guidos also rise to take bakc their clay. In several spots, the worst turk legacy of oppress and being asshols is fall apart. The time is now. No bakstab worst hun this time too, almost technological parity with kebab(which now desperate invest all their resources to stability). Their army despite reinforces lost one third of original strong before being of war. If we sing peace treaty at this point, eventually worst turk will gain more and more technology in land force and bless of ubikebab. ALL EUROPE SHALL BE FREE FROM KEBAB! TO VICTROY!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    In 12 March 1890, the complete genocide of all turks in Dalmatians was done, and finally we have take bakc our clay! Now in a few years Istria will be free from worst turk as well.

    SERBIA STRONG!

    [​IMG]

    Brave Albanian Patriots have taken bakc their own clay. As long as worst turk legions are distract and crush by Serbian superior soliders and scorch earth, eventual they will become independent countrey again. Once and if that hopeful happens, Serba will natural ally with them during rest of war to protect them and prevent worst turk from gaining Albania again.

    [​IMG]

    And nothing of value is lost.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Against infinite legions of farm animals breed as cokcroach, best offense is defense. Our forts now will be far more STRONG! Alas as soon as mint gold is enough, construction of STRONGholds will happen in all our border regions with worst turk to make their attempts to seige them more hard and them lose even more to attrite. During the last about five years of this war, despite our manpower deplete, we have practical fight the good fight on our own. Our allys too dumb to use their far more massive armies properly. The worst turk suffers greatly, in massive instability, massive war exhaust and were it not for our allys being idiots, we would have long won this war already for together we are numbers superior too.

    [​IMG]

    OUR CLAY IS SECURE AGAIN! We have fight against vastly number superior forces, our manpower long deplete, our garissons held out bravely against all odds, and no only we did not lose any clay to worst turk in spite of their massive numbers, but Serbia also removed nearly all kebab from Croatioa(with a best day of life currently on the way in liberated Istria). Some of the weak among us suggest us to strike peace once Istria is ours. Obviously they are oblivious to implicates of leaving worst turk not fully crushed to be naive to suggest such a stupid idea. The only way to secure the future of our countrey is to fully crush the turks.

    And the fact Serbia still on the win the war despite the mass stupid of allys, mass numbers of worst turks and the deplete of Serbian manpower is yet another evidence of:

    SERBIA GREATTST COUNTREY
     
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  2. Gondolin Arcane

    Gondolin
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    Nicely done. Let's hope asshol turk drowns in rebellious kebab.
     
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  3. Vaarna_Aarne Notorious Internet Vandal Patron

    Vaarna_Aarne
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    You missed a chance to talk about Albanian style of fortification.
     
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  4. Merkwürdigliebe Arcane

    Merkwürdigliebe
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    Feels like your pretty lucky that Kebab isn't blockading the shit out of your ports with that navy.
     
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  5. LusciousPear Savant

    LusciousPear
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    Which version of Mare Apterum is this? I'm playing Georgia in 1.50 and I don't seem to have any of the faction stuff, nor do I have the "occupy a province for long enough and it's yours"
     
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  6. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    1.32b

    A piece of advice: Downgrade from 1.50 to 1.32b, because it has serious bugs like the modernization event chain no longer working, and likely the occupy events are broken too. Better to wait for copx to release a new version with these new issues fixed and play the older 1.32b until then. Which is a pity because the lack of factions is a great improvement, as the system was greatly messed and forced you to deliberatedly neglect building certain things, and oftenly the relationship changes literally made no fucking sense at all. In the end, Europa Universalis III isn't the same kind of strategy game as Tropico, which has a proper and logical faction system, but obviously operates on a far more micro level.
     
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  7. The Brazilian Slaughter Arcane

    The Brazilian Slaughter
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    Doing awesome so far!

    Are you going to remake Byzantium or schew such a ancient Empire and forge A NEW SRBIJAN EMPIRE THAT IS STRONGER?

    Will you take all the ex-kebab land or liberate/vassalize them all?

    Also, will you stop at Constantinople or will you advance into Anatolia?
     
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  8. Kipeci Magister

    Kipeci
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  9. Corporate_Jew_Master Arcane

    Corporate_Jew_Master
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    After kebab is removed and all the clay is srbjan again, will you remove falafel and guido as well?

    (consider porting this into vicky II if the mod allows it)
     
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  10. Merkwürdigliebe Arcane

    Merkwürdigliebe
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    Or do the super hard mode challenge. Remove Kebab in Victoria 2 with the default historical start. Tried it my self before and failed. Gonna have to try again, could be LP material maybe.
     
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  11. Corporate_Jew_Master Arcane

    Corporate_Jew_Master
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    It's easy as hell with Greece (built fleet, block the straits, destroy their armies in the balkans and slowly gobble up all that land) but as Serbia you have to rely on Russia to do most of the fighting.
     
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  12. Vaarna_Aarne Notorious Internet Vandal Patron

    Vaarna_Aarne
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    Well, you do need Worst Turk to have a decision to move the capital if enemies get too close to Istanbul, otherwise you can't take it.
     
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  13. LusciousPear Savant

    LusciousPear
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    Really craving doner kebab now.
     
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  14. Kalin Arcane Zionist Agent

    Kalin
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    Had some of the filth for lunch even. Made me feel all guilty and sinful when I thought of this LP.

    Those weird Lapps should make their own Nordic shaman-version of kebabs with their superior reindeer meat and flatbread. Would taste a hundred times better I'm sure, and while Lapps are weird and not really properly Nordic, at least they beat Worst Turk.
     
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  15. LusciousPear Savant

    LusciousPear
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    I've had fantastic elk and reindeer in Finland. Reindeer kebap would be EVEN BETTER
     
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  16. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

    Fafnir
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    Grab the Codex by the pussy
    Bumping for further enjoyment!
     
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  17. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    Due to the insane cheats ubikebab provides and lack of any means to develop provinces, playing as Serbia in Magna Mundi/Mare Apertum is insanely more difficult than in Vicky 2. Trust me on that.
     
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  18. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    Also guys, I have an EPIC update ready with 60+ screenshots which, for the sake of continuity and epicness I can't really split or crop. And it will also feature some options for you to vote for in the end that involve a very critical decision. Thus, I need page 6 before I post it.
     
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  19. CaptainAwesome Arcane

    CaptainAwesome
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  20. SCO Arcane In My Safe Space

    SCO
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  21. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    One of my mistakes in my first try as Serbia, other than the fact MMU is much shittier than MMP2 and even more than Mare Apertum:

    The benefits of the military NIs are pathetic compared to the income bonus of faster core gains from political/cultural NIs and superior economy from the economical NIs that allow you to

    1) Raise larger armies without having to mint as much, which means less inflation = better research and thus better odds against worst turk thanks to technological parity.

    2) Gain extra manpower from faster coring

    3) Keep a decent administrative efficiency after more than tripling your original starting territory.

    4) ???

    5) PROFIT!

    tl;dr Unless you start big with tons of provinces of your own or accepted cultures, Humanist Tolerance, Bill of Rights and the Economic/AE boosting ideas like Bureaucracy and Guild Privileges are much superior to the military NIs.
     
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  22. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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  23. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    tupac only raper even serbian black metal* fan respect

    *don't tell me that actually exists
     
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  24. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    BUMP
     
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