My favorite:
Find Familiar scrolls are not a substitute for the hunting skill.
runner up: After a bloody battle, I will not celebrate by lying down and making carnage angels.
best of the list I found:
I am not allowed to rub the monk's head for luck.
I cannot make a dungeon crawl easier by opening a rival dungeon and hiring away all his guards.
On second thought, a minotaur architect is a really bad idea.
I am not to shoot every corpse in the head to make sure they aren't a zombie in Twilight 2000
739. Can't make the blacks ops super easy by sending a couple of strippers to the guardroom first.
My second wish can't be for a new, more open minded genie to grant my remaining wishes
My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
No, I cannot buy 10,000 marbles even if I say please
The name of the weapon shop is not "Bloodbath and Beyond"
Not allowed to steal my own soul
My swashbuckling fop cannot take the flaw Dark Secret: Not Gay
The Demilich only falls for getting stuffed in the bag of holding once.
778. It is not possible to bioengineer a kosher pig.
Fake eye spots on my helmets do not help intimidate the monster.
hunt drow with a spotlight and 30.06.
Doesn't matter how practical, we aren't reanimating the dead dragon and having him haul that horde back for us.
I will not keep reincarnating that bugbear until he comes back as something we can actually eat
I can not order the Druid to transform and roll out
They make platemail in a variety of styles. Crotchless is not one of them. (Not True! I think it comes that way normally)
If escorting a high priority target, I can't biosculpt the entire team to look like her.
I will not make my castle's halls 9x9x9' to keep out gelatinous cubes
No matter how practical, I can't have shotgunchucks
take all the monsters I've killed to the taxidermist after the adventure
There is something wrong with a 2nd level Kamikaze
I can't train squirrel mobs to abuse the grapple rules
If we run out of cannonballs armadillos will not do in a pinch.
I will not convince the entire party to play Amish for the cyberpunk campaign.
A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument (I think that would be pretty cool)
My monk's lips must be in sync
I am not the Lord of Rodly Might
Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero
When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepit mansion from the outside.
The green elf does not need food badly (remember Gauntlet?)
My Paladin's heraldry is not a smiley face
I do not get any XP for anyone I kill by stampeding sheep.(that's a valid historical tactic. except it was done with bigger animals)
cast invisibility on random household items like car keys, tea sets and bear traps
Even if he was a paragon of humanity in his alternate dimension, Good Hitler is not an appropriate superhero concept.
Even if the rules allow it, I cannot control 20,000 pigeons and use them as flying piranha
No matter how well I roll, the Quack skill is not a substitute for the Doctor skill.
It is very unlikely my half-ogre and the half-elf, half-dragon, tiefling and aasimar have the same dad.
thinking up new, creative and fun uses for cursed items
Pursue means chase after, not just make called shots to the knees
I cannot start the campaign conjoined to another character
My Mossad agent's battlecry is not "Torah, Torah, Torah"
Trying to rip the face off the villain will not get the Scooby-Doo ending.
The rest is here
oh, and here's a poem I wrote:
I come from the end of a bag, but no bag went over me
Imagine a bag.
A bag on the floor
Nice and flat
Flat on the floor
It's mouth is open
As it sits on the floor
Sitting on floor, is such a bore
there for a reason, that bag on the floor.
Above that bag, that bag on the floor
Is another bag, held by a rope
This rhyme is important, so you might hope
The bag on the rope
Is coiled up tightly, entwined in the rope
It quivers and shivers, attached to the rope
Entwined in the rope, it dangles above
the bag on the floor
if it were to drop
it would fall to the mouth
would fall to the mouth
of the bag to it's south
why have I given this rhyme so much mouth?
A tripwire is given the bag 'bove the mouth
the tripwire is sprung, by feet most unwary
the suspended bag will no longer tarry
it falls to the mouth of flat bag on the floor
you will regret you opened that door
Bags Of Holding
Find Familiar scrolls are not a substitute for the hunting skill.
runner up: After a bloody battle, I will not celebrate by lying down and making carnage angels.
best of the list I found:
I am not allowed to rub the monk's head for luck.
I cannot make a dungeon crawl easier by opening a rival dungeon and hiring away all his guards.
On second thought, a minotaur architect is a really bad idea.
I am not to shoot every corpse in the head to make sure they aren't a zombie in Twilight 2000
739. Can't make the blacks ops super easy by sending a couple of strippers to the guardroom first.
My second wish can't be for a new, more open minded genie to grant my remaining wishes
My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
No, I cannot buy 10,000 marbles even if I say please
The name of the weapon shop is not "Bloodbath and Beyond"
Not allowed to steal my own soul
My swashbuckling fop cannot take the flaw Dark Secret: Not Gay
The Demilich only falls for getting stuffed in the bag of holding once.
778. It is not possible to bioengineer a kosher pig.
Fake eye spots on my helmets do not help intimidate the monster.
hunt drow with a spotlight and 30.06.
Doesn't matter how practical, we aren't reanimating the dead dragon and having him haul that horde back for us.
I will not keep reincarnating that bugbear until he comes back as something we can actually eat
I can not order the Druid to transform and roll out
They make platemail in a variety of styles. Crotchless is not one of them. (Not True! I think it comes that way normally)
If escorting a high priority target, I can't biosculpt the entire team to look like her.
I will not make my castle's halls 9x9x9' to keep out gelatinous cubes
No matter how practical, I can't have shotgunchucks
take all the monsters I've killed to the taxidermist after the adventure
There is something wrong with a 2nd level Kamikaze
I can't train squirrel mobs to abuse the grapple rules
If we run out of cannonballs armadillos will not do in a pinch.
I will not convince the entire party to play Amish for the cyberpunk campaign.
A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument (I think that would be pretty cool)
My monk's lips must be in sync
I am not the Lord of Rodly Might
Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero
When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepit mansion from the outside.
The green elf does not need food badly (remember Gauntlet?)
My Paladin's heraldry is not a smiley face
I do not get any XP for anyone I kill by stampeding sheep.(that's a valid historical tactic. except it was done with bigger animals)
cast invisibility on random household items like car keys, tea sets and bear traps
Even if he was a paragon of humanity in his alternate dimension, Good Hitler is not an appropriate superhero concept.
Even if the rules allow it, I cannot control 20,000 pigeons and use them as flying piranha
No matter how well I roll, the Quack skill is not a substitute for the Doctor skill.
It is very unlikely my half-ogre and the half-elf, half-dragon, tiefling and aasimar have the same dad.
thinking up new, creative and fun uses for cursed items
Pursue means chase after, not just make called shots to the knees
I cannot start the campaign conjoined to another character
My Mossad agent's battlecry is not "Torah, Torah, Torah"
Trying to rip the face off the villain will not get the Scooby-Doo ending.
The rest is here
oh, and here's a poem I wrote:
I come from the end of a bag, but no bag went over me
Imagine a bag.
A bag on the floor
Nice and flat
Flat on the floor
It's mouth is open
As it sits on the floor
Sitting on floor, is such a bore
there for a reason, that bag on the floor.
Above that bag, that bag on the floor
Is another bag, held by a rope
This rhyme is important, so you might hope
The bag on the rope
Is coiled up tightly, entwined in the rope
It quivers and shivers, attached to the rope
Entwined in the rope, it dangles above
the bag on the floor
if it were to drop
it would fall to the mouth
would fall to the mouth
of the bag to it's south
why have I given this rhyme so much mouth?
A tripwire is given the bag 'bove the mouth
the tripwire is sprung, by feet most unwary
the suspended bag will no longer tarry
it falls to the mouth of flat bag on the floor
you will regret you opened that door
Bags Of Holding
