Most retarded Total War tactic ever

Holy fucking shit this is so incredibly retarded I just have to share it.

I was playing Roma Surrectum 2 and had a hard siege defense battle against Carthage going on. In the end, I only won because of the battle time limit and almost lost... there were just too many enemies. And at one point, when about 3 enemy divisions went up on my walls through the same siege tower, I was like "holy shit if only I could destroy that wall, I could kill more than 300 or so enemies in one strike". Then I noticed: I have ballistas. Then I thought: hey, what if I move my ballistas there and shoot at my own wall until it breaks down?

So I did. I brought my ballistas there, and shot at my own fucking wall until large parts of it broke away (60 to 80 percent damage). At 21 percent damage, the outer battlements broke off and destroyed the siege tower as they fell down, killing all soldiers still inside. At 61 percent damage, the top of the wall broke off, ripping a huge amount of enemies from the crowded wall.

THIS IS SO FUCKING RETARDED
Sure, it's incredibly effective and probably the most brainfucked cheese-tactic ever, but it's also really REALLY stupid.

I couldn't stop laughing for about 5 minutes after doing this.

 

I imagine you had quite a repair bill?

 

I always send a general cavalry (or regular cavalry) unit out during sieges and first attack the battering ram(AI drops it then rarely picks it up again). Then I chase ladder guys(they drop ladders, rarely pick them up), finally I chase siege engines, and charge/withdraw tends to after a time confuse the AI so the tower ends up just sitting there by the wall, at an angle, useless.
After this I sit back and watch as my machine gun wall archers rape the enemy which just sits there.
It's a good, low cost tactic for third rate and low number garrisons, obviously not needed in vanilla where you can easily fill out everything with the best units.

 

I dont think it's retarded. It's like you lure enemies into your building then bomb/mine/booby trap them to death.

It's only UNrealistic because you can shoot ballista at and the wall was breached almost immediately. If it's taken half your siege time just to breach one wall you wouldnt feel that, would you?

 

I think the walls of the time were much more vulnerable to hits from the inside than the outside.

 

Not retarded, makes sense. It's probably been done before.

 

Yes, it is a sound tactic.

 

Frank, it's actually a quite fun thing to do and "uses" the game's features and world reactivity without "abusing" them.

In Medieval I put archers, that can plant pikes behind my gates. I then send them up the walls as soon as the battle starts. Enemy cavalry charges in through broken down gates and dies in droves. Fun times.

 

My gods, why haven't I thought of this?

But what good is a huge wall and gate for, if some puny spike can do a much better job?

 

Yeah, the spikes tactics is pretty cool, even in an open field with enough archers it makes for neat makshift fortification.

Also: I'm upset about JF's new avatar )-:

 

Why is that?

 

It's who JF is on the inside.