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In Progress New Urban Fantasy

FrankHamilton

Educated
Joined
Oct 18, 2014
Messages
51
I've been a long-time lurker here. I'm not an English speaker, nor am I any good at writing. But I have fond memories of reading other people's CHYOA and it's a goddamn shame that this place is so inactive. Please offer suggestions at how to make my writing less shit. This is an Urban Fantasy. It will be quite cheesy. Have fun!
The street heels under your feet like a boat. All these buildings looks exactly the same at night. Even if you weren't drunk this city would be difficult to navigate. You're trying to recall the address where you're staying at. You're also musing on just how much of an asshole you've been today. To be fair, you've been an asshole all your life, but today more than 20 people got visual proof of that fact. Your chance to get back together with Marie has been shattered, kinda like that wine bottle you had thrown earlier.

fuck her though. fuck her boyfriend too. fuck mom for not answering the phone. fuck dad for not being there when it mattered. fuck losing the only girl who has ever agreed to fuck you. fuck society (of course) and especially...

You are distracted from your rant before you get to your high school biology teacher. A huge yellow M lights up the night. You see a number of teenagers way past their curfew exiting and entering the joint next to it. It seems to be open. You haven't had Mac's for a while. You enter and stagger through the blinding light to the counter

You really wish you could just ask for a menu and just get one.
"Want kinda sauce you want?" The acne-ridden teen taking your order spits too much when he talks. He looks like he spends too much time on the Internet.
"Just whatever you have."
"We have ketchup."
"Perfect."
"What about soda?"
"Look, can I get just the default option."
He opens his mouth in confusion. It seems I broke his programming for a couple of seconds there.
"Oh, uh, like, just whatever for everything?"
"Yes..."
"What about your toy?"
"Can I just get my goddamn burger!"
"Nah man, it's some good stuff. You get some cool things. I like to use them as figurines in my D&D game. Do you play, actually?"

"No, I don't..." You say, looking at the toy options on the counter. You stop. One of them looks familiar, though you're sure you'd never seen it before. It looks deeply familiar, like it reminds of a dream you've had. Of a man you could've become. Of a man you could still be.
"Yeah, I want to be the..."
  1. Fighter holds a steadfast glare, wielding a shield and a sword pointed towards you.
  2. Mage scowls at you, fingers of one hand clasped together as if about to snap and rain down fire upon you.
  3. Thief smiles and holds one hand in front of him as if to shake. The other hand is out of sight behind his back.
  4. Cleric looks upon you sadly. One hand holds an axe limply by his side, the other clutches an amulet.
The sound of dice rolling is heard in the distance.
We will be using the SPECIAL system. You are given a set of rolls and you can assign them to any of:

Strength
Perception
Endurance
Charisma
Intelligence
Agility
Luck

The stats are: 7 2 9 5 9 9 8
As part of your vote choose a "class" and assign your stats.
 
Joined
Nov 29, 2016
Messages
1,832
fuck her though. fuck her boyfriend too.



3. Thief

Oi, let's be a taffer for once. Back street drifter, glass cannon grifter...

Str 7 - buffing the damage on them sweet stealth attacks
Per 8 - to spot that grooved sphere on the floor of the inn
End 2 - fuck having health when one will never get hit in the first place
Cha 9 - social stealth is best stealth. Plus we must find a replacement for Marie somehow
Int 9 - we must be able to craft devious plans
Agi 9 - obviously
Luck 5 - surely 5 in luck means we are neither lucky or unlucky, which sounds pretty good to me.
 

Grimgravy

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Sep 12, 2013
Messages
3,469
Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire
3. Thief

Strength 5
Perception 9
Endurance 2
Charisma 9
Intelligence 8
Agility 9
Luck 7
 

Citizen

Guest
IV: CLERIC OF JEHOVAH (ORTHODOX)

q2.jpg


S - 7 — for heavy weaponry (I hope we are going to get power armor soon to equip more badass gunz :bounce:)
P - 5 — to hit sometimes with said heavy weaponry
E - 9 — turning the cheeks requires some endurance
C - 9 — :deusvult:
I - 2 — :deusvult: :retardеd:
A - 9 — need some APs to outgun the joos
L - 8 — holy spirit aids us
 

FrankHamilton

Educated
Joined
Oct 18, 2014
Messages
51
So three people want thief versus 2 people who want cleric. Grimgravies' thief is similar enough to the taffer that I hope there won't be too much butthurt over this.
Current character sheet is basically:
Thief
Str 7
Per 8
End 2
Cha 9
Int 9
Agi 9
Luck 5

Backstab-lovers are winning. Sad!
You still have the 7 Strength for Heavy Weapons. Are you saying you don't want to sneak attack people with Bazzookas?

************

You don't touch your food. Partly because you're worried you'll puke it out immediately after ingesting, partly because you cannot stop staring transfixed at the toy in your hand. Barely 2 inches tall, made of small elastic plastic, green in color (more Hunter Green rather than Forest Green if it matters). There is something in the character's personality that makes itself apparent despite being unmoving. The friendly hand held out front contrasts with the dagger held firmly in his fist behind his back.You used to look up to these roguish character when you were a child and hoped you could maybe become one yourself one day. You can't help feeling like a bit of a loser in light of that.

You truly are a miserable man if a fucking MacDonald's toy causes you an existential crisis.

The hairs on the back of your neck immediately stand up as through the entrance slams a middle aged man. There is a moment where the only sound heard is the cashier breathing through his mouth. The middle aged man's baseball cap and cheap 2 dollar T-shirt turn in your direction. His face is average and nondescript except for his obvious interest in the toy you have in your hand. He walk determined to your table. By the way, are you feeling okay? You don't look so good.
(Roll vs 6: 10 + End = 12) Success! You do not puke. Good job!

"This is ridiculous." He begins shouting at the cashier on the other side of the room. "We've been visiting this place every day for the past 3 weeks and now that you finally have it. You sell it to some schmuck."
The cashier stops breathing through his mouth for a sec. "I'm sorry. I thought... Well, he asked for it and I..." A blond girl, only slightly older than the cashier peeks in from the kitchen.
"And you just gave it to him. I thought we had a deal"
"Are you talking about this?"You hold up the rogue toy. "I got it for free for the Happy Meal. It's not even like I came here for it specifically." You say.
Baseball cap guy looks you over, seeming to seize you up. He definitely looks more like a schmuck than you. (Roll vs 10: 4 + Per = 12) Success! There is a strange tent under his shirt, possible concealed carry. This guy might be more dangerous than you thought.
"Then you'll be willing to give me the totem in exchange for one of the toys, right?"
"I think I prefer this one and I did pay for the Happy Meal so..."
You wish you weren't feeling so much like shit. So much weirdness is happening right now. Do you run, do you sucker punch him, do you stall for time, maybe just puke on his shoes as a defense mechanism? Your brain feels like a goldfish flushed down the toilet. Your intestines don't feel much better either. Slosh, slosh...

As you see him raise his hands, your instincts take over and you leap trying to keep him from retrieving his... (Roll vs 18: 6 + Agil = 15) Failure! In one smooth movement the man now has a long blade only millimeters away from your shoulders. You see your own pale face and disheveled hair reflected in it. You need a bath and a haircut.
"Is that a katana?" Exclaims the cashier.
"It's a wakizashi!" Shouts the man.
"At least it's not a gun. That would be putting everyone at risk." Chips in the blonde from the kitchen.

"This is too public, how about you and I take a walk outside and settle our differences honorably, mate? You can start by giving me your name."
So, I guess this is happening.

First thing's first, probably not gonna be able to disarm him.
a) Kick to the balls. He seems big but also overconfident. Just gotta catch him unaware.
b) Go with him outside. He has the sword, don't play funny games. At least not immediately.
c) Stall him. What should you say or do?

Afterwards. the plan is:
1) Run away as fast as possible.
2) Try to subdue him
3) Call the cops
4) Try to negotiate

Finally, what's your name? And are you going to offer it?
 
Joined
Nov 29, 2016
Messages
1,832
Ok.

So we know that in addition to the blade he has a gun, so running is not an option unless we can somehow outrun bullets (ie hit what is probably a retardedly high target number).

Current vote:

c) Stall him (as below)

Instead offering our name, we should say that we suffer from amnesia. This could be a setting where knowing someone's names = having power over them like Earthsea or whatever.

We try to convince him that this "totem" was actually responsible to turning our life to shit. The cum stains on our sweatpans? Yeah dude, as soon as I got this thing our girlfriend got in a fatal car accident (because she was distracted by performing fellatio on my dead ex-best friend, or so the coroner said) which resulted in a porn addiction. The stink of liquor on my breath? Brah, viewing my abdominal ultrasound will give you liver cirrhosis - and I picked up the habit the second I got this rogue toy.

Unfortunately the biggest hurdle is going to be convincing this guy that the cashier actually gave us that toy a month ago, not today (we just like taking it everywhere and playing it while eating with our food because, surprize, ever since we got it we got into D&D and our intelligence is slowly reverting to that of a child), but I hope that the intense misery and wretchedness we are experiencing at this particular chapter in our life will fuel our words with the honesty and passion necessary to distract this gunslinger. Mixing truths into lies is always easier than just inventing bullshit stories. Basically, we will try to plant doubt in his mind and make him think that perhaps this particular artifact? is not what he is after. He doesn't have to buy it, just consider it long enough to distract him for a SNEAK attack.

1) Try to subdue him

Why subdue him? Because we are going to take his wallet if that's the last thing we do, that's why. Being a taffer is being a klepto and fuck if we can't turn our very first encounter into an opportunity for profit.

Alternatively:

a) Kick him to the balls

That's a critical sneak attack if I ever saw one.

4) Try to negotiate

Now that our adversaries' testes are thoroughly bruised, we talk. Establishes that our own balls are made of steel and sets up a hilarious awkward conversation.
 

Grimgravy

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Sep 12, 2013
Messages
3,469
Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire
We basically said we just got it with our meal. So your stall would be difficult.

a
4
Sounds interesting.
 
Joined
Nov 29, 2016
Messages
1,832
blame it on the memory loss

EDIT

Ah, fuck it. Let's take the SHORTEST PATH.

a)
4)
 
Last edited:
Unwanted

Kalin

Unwanted
Dumbfuck Zionist Agent
Joined
Sep 29, 2010
Messages
1,868,264
Location
Al Scandiya
"Is that a katana?" Exclaims the cashier.
"It's a wakizashi!" Shouts the man.

:lol::salute:

This obviously prestigious blademaster could become a powerful ally.

Better put that superior charisma to use.

b) Go with him outside.
4) Try to negotiate
 

FrankHamilton

Educated
Joined
Oct 18, 2014
Messages
51
a4 got two votes so it's the winner.
I'm regretting not adding an option for
d)puke on him
******************************

You look your assailant in his eyes.(Roll vs 12: 9 + Per = 17) He looks confident, thinking you are scared of him. He probably assumes he'll be able to just bully you into doing what he wants. You aren't scared of him at all, though. Actually, why aren't you? Why exactly are you so calm? You've never been threatened with a katana* before, but you would've assumed it would be at least a bit frightening. You are at the very least at a serious disadvantage. For now, at least.

The toy rogue has a dagger held behind its back. Both your own hands are in plain view, however. Since you are still sitting, your legs are covered by the table. That might be good enough.
"Fine, take it then you lunatic!" you say, sliding the toy forward. It falls face forward balanced on it's outstretched arm and legs. Its hidden dagger is now on display.
Katana* guy briefly looks away from you to reach for the toy. That's enough time for you to lean back and kick forward. (Roll vs 10: 1 + Str + 2 = 10) GLANCING BLOW! Your foot collides with something alright. You're not sure if you managed to hit the balls. Due to your awkward position (plus still kinda drunk) you don't bring your full force to the kick. Katana* guy visibly winces but seems unfettered otherwise. He swings his sword wide. (Contest: 7 + Agi = 16 vs 5 + Str =12) SUCCESS! You don't want to think about how close that was. Even though you don't see it you feel the air from the blow pass you above your head as you duck under the table. You let both your legs fall forward as you fall off your chair, trying to kick once again. This time his leg. (Roll vs 10: 9 + Str = 17) SUCCESS! His leg knocked back he loses his balance and falls to his knee, leaning against the table. You make another try for his balls, this time a clear shot. The man moans in pain on the table as you kick him. Nonetheless, he tries to stand again. You kick him once more. And a fourth time for good luck. The man must either be castrated or have balls of steel.

Finally he drops on the (poorly mopped) floor. He goes into fetal position, covering his groin with his hands. He's started sweating profusely giving his cheap grey shirt stains of darker grey. You pick the toy rogue and the katana* he had dropped of the ground. You're not sure what the (street) samurai code is but you hope the winner of the duel becomes the new rightful owner of the weapon.

******New skill: Sleight of Hand Lvl. 2*****

"Umm... should I call the police or...?" The cashier mumbles at this point.
"It's a bit late for that, don't you think?" You say.
Since when are you so good at this? You've been in a couple of fights before. You got your ass handed to you on a plate those times, though. You have some friends who are better at their job when they're high. Maybe it's like that with you and fighting? You are good at it only when drunk and going for groin kicks.

You hear the downed man grumble. You can't hear exactly what he says however. Something like "Have you already welcomed the rogue in your heart?". Something like that.
(Roll vs 14: 6 + Cha = 15)
You take your happy meal tray and you sit on the floor next to the now-katana-less guy. You ask him if he wants any of your fries, on account of your being too sick to finish it. He says nothing but he starts taking some of the fies anyhow. You keep the katana* in your right hand away from the man's reach. Eventually the man sits up. His face is still red and his shirt is still sweaty.

"You are a fast guy." He says to you, licking the salt around his mouth.
"Yes, I suppose I am."
"I bet you're surprised, right? We all were when we first started and our powers started showing."
Your headache has calmed down considerably. You start drinking a bit from your soda and taking some fries yourself. Your main goal right now is to survive the night without puking.
"Powers? Are you guys a cult? A TOY collecting cult?"
He smiles at you.
"I never thought about it until now, but I guess that's the fastest way to explain it" His face gets grim suddenly. "I don't go around armed like that just for show. You are about to enter a war between good and evil. Pfah I'm starting to sound like Sana. But it's true, you get me?"
"You're joking right?" You stare at him. He does look like an idiot, but you were kind of hoping you would get a more interesting story than "we're fighting Satan".
"Hey, can I get an extra soda here. I'm dry as a... Hmm what gets dry easily?" the man yells at the cashier.
"Sandpaper?" You try.
"Not that dry. But look, my name is Brian..."
"Is that the same name you had before you were reborn as a toy collector?"
"Keep wisecracking and we'll be sitting on the floor all day. Look, usually Sana or Fritz do the talking. I'm more the working class kind."
"Right..."
"You don't know what that totem is good for. It packs quite a punch once you know how to use it. And that stuff comes with a lot of responsibility. You ever watch Spiderman? (Good movie! First one was the best.) Look, how about you just give it to us and you don't have to worry about any of that stuff."
"Or else?"
"Then, here..." He starts fishing in his pocket. Your ready the katana* in case he pulls out the gun, but this turns out to be uneeded as he pulls out a piece of paper with a phone number written on it. He passes it to you
"Is Sana's phone number. She can explain better than me. You're not working tomorrow right?"
"Is it Sunday tomorrow? I guess I'm not" Thank god for that. Last thing you want is dealing with work tomorrow after this night.
"Give her a call! If you learned so fast in just a few minutes then you would be a very good addition to our group. Honestly, I'm too much of an idiot to explain all this stuff."

It kind of makes sense that this would be happening now. You are exactly the kind of disillusioned youth who would be recruited by a cult. You just hoped it would be something cooler than toy collecting. You suppose...

a)
Give him the "totem". Forget this ever happened. Go back to your millennial angst. Try to convince him to keep the katana*.
b) Keep the totem. Call next day if you feel like it. Might as well see what they have to say. Try to convince him to keep the katana*.
c) Keep the totem. Don't call them. You need some time to think about this. Try to convince him to keep the katana*.

About Brian
1) He seems like a nice guy, if not terribly smart. It's rather telling that the only person you haven't pissed off tonight is a lunatic that attacked you with a sword.
2) The lunatic attacked you with a fucking sword! Hopefully you don't have to deal with him more than necessary.
3) He looks like someone who is easy to manipulate. Not a bad friend to have.

* "It's a wakizashi!"

******************************
I'll try to add a proper Character Sheet in the first post tomorrow.
 
Joined
Nov 29, 2016
Messages
1,832
c > b. real taffers work alone and we are definitely not rescinding control of this """totem"""

With 9 intellect we might very well get more out of thinking our situation over as opposed to getting brainwashed by a crazy cult that certainly have their own agenda.

3)
we must have the power to take everything from him - including his life
 

Kipeci

Arcane
Joined
May 22, 2012
Messages
3,027
Location
Vicksburg
A3

Jeez, just a happy meal plastic piece of garbage. Give it to him if he’s going to be so happy about it.
 

Citizen

Guest
C — if we are really going to get some rogueish supapower, we'd better put it in use for some evil but extremly rewarding deeds. The cult are probably goody-two-shoes type of dudes that would make us selflessly help babushkas cross the road.
As for the weeb sword — we should impress this fine gentleman with our knowledge of japanese (?) culture and the art of the blade. With our overkill Cha&Int stats, he would soon beg us to keep it.

3 — The things we are planning to do in the nearest future could require some sort of gullible cretin as a scapegoat, we'd better take his personal phone number.
 

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