Incline Revisiting Old Games (Again)

Contra Advance: The Alien Wars EX for GBA is basically a Contra 3 port with the top-down levels replaced with 2d levels from Contra Hard Corps. Personally, I never liked the top-down levels much either

 

Alien Storm - Megadrive



^You can play as Elvis Presley

Golden Axe goes Sci-Fi. Always one of those games which got a 70%-ish review back in t'day wherever you looked.

Meh, it's still OK I guess. It's strength lies within it's pacing. One min you're fighting, the next you're in a FPP shooting gallery, the next you're running full speed at aliens. It's portioned very well, and keeps thing fresh throughout.

However, the actual fighting itself is quite repetitive, and the enemy variation leaves a lot to be desired. There's a lack of moves, which isn't too big a deal, but whereas the likes of Golden Axe has other elements which carry it, Alien Storm doesn't, and the levels are fairly bland too.

A decent but forgettable little blast.

 

Altered Beast - Megadrive



It may not be the most prestigious, it may not be the best game from the 16-bit era, but there's no doubt that Altered Beast is an iconic name among gamers of that era. Originally packaged as the "free" game on the official UK release of the Megadrive, it got a bit of a bad rap simply because it was viewed as cheap due to it being a freebie. "Fuckinghell, Bergin's a bummer who loves Altered Beast" were part of the insults of the day. So was it all that bad?

No, not at all. In fact, it's a good little blast. Playing as a strictly 2-D beat em up, your moves are limited as hell to kick, punch, duck & jump. But it works really well because not only does the main character move great, but the punch & kick mechanic target different levels of height, and that works really well when combined with said jump & duck mechanics. It's all about anticipating where the enemies are going to go, and that's when it becomes fun. See you can't just strategically pick them off one by one, instead to progress you have to grab your spirit balls, which means intercepting silver wolves. These often waltz straight through the screen, so you're often faced with a risk/reward situation of chasing after them, or defending yourself against the other enemies. Combined with the fighting mechanics it works great. There's also some great enemy variety too.

Sadly, it does fall over in a few key areas. Firstly, if you play the levels well, you only get to play in beast form for about 5 second before facing a boss. It really kills any sense of satisfaction, and puts a crimp in the pow factor. Then you've the beasts themselves. Whilst funky enough, only the dragon really stands out as anything different. Hell the last level skanks you right out & gives you the same beast from level 1 too. The game's short, there's absolutely nothing to return to after you've finished it, and there's nothing gameplay wise which differentiates each level from the next really.

I enjoyed it, but there's no doubt there's plenty of better games out there too. An iconic average thrive.

 

Battletoads Vs Double Dragon - Megadrive/SNES


^ "Eeeek!.....a NIGGER!!"


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bought us all a lot of joy as kids, but they also birthed us The Battletoads. What the fuck were they all about then? Flimsy shit designed to cash in on Turtles fame, and little more. There's a reason that 30 years later they'er still making TMNT films, and no fuckers making Battletoads. Coz they're shit. So what better way for them to cement their place in history than by pissing all over one of the greatest Beat Em Up pairings of all time in Double Dragon too? Here we go.

So like the Toads themselves, the game is very gimmicky, played for laughs, and the gameplay reflects that. On one hand some of the moves are comical & fun, on the other it feels very cheap that the computer pulls off most of the more OTT moves through only having to repeatedly press the same button, and not through player choice or combos etc. Too often you feel detached from the action, and don't mention the boss attack patterns, Christ, there's fuck all to them.

The longer I played, the less I gave a fuck, and by stage 3 I'd genuinely started to hate the game. There's gimmicky fun, and there's gimmcky shit, and this is the latter. Nothing feels right, everything feels cheap & lacklustre. It's just a big swirling mass of bollocks really.

But with all that said, whether you like it or not will depend on how far you can stretch your quality-shit tolerance. It's has got some appeal, and I can see why folk who enjoy stuff like Mad Max Fury Road may like it, but I fucking hate the thing.

 

Fun fact: The Amstrad CPC version of Altered Beast is one of the slowest games on the system - framerate has been roughly measured to be around 3-5 FPS.

 

Cadash - Megadrive


^ Pork Sword

I remember seeing the pics for this and desperately wanting to own it. It screamed "Fantasy Roleplay Adventure", and my balls almost exploded with joy when I looked at the cover advertized in gaming mags.....



Wizards, warriors, slags and dragons. I was sold. But there was a snag......I couldn't find the fucking thing anywhere. I looked high & low, I looked in between, but no fucker ever seemed to stock it. So alas, as time passed and the likes of Buck Rogers: Countdown to Doomsday & Baldur's Gate were played, this faded into the depths of memory. And now here we are today to see if I'd actually missed anything.......

For all that promise of swords & sorcery, Cadash is actually quite lacking and, in truth, pretty shit. It attempts to add RPG elements to the action, but nothing really takes you out the realms of hack & slash. It feels like an RPG that was converted into a hack & slash game to appease the masses. Talking to NPCs at the start? Pointless. Anything happen when you level up? Nope. A choice of weapons or spells to use? Nope. Some games can get by that if they''re fun to play, but unfortunately the hack & slash itself is pretty shit too. The levels, combat & enemies are all pretty poorly designed, and the end of level bosses are cheap as fuck too.

It's not a painfully unplayable game at all, nor one I'd hate on, it's just a bit crap really.

 

Cutie Suzuki no Ringside Angel - Megadrive


^ Nice Beaver......

I've absolutely no idea how we came across this game as kids, but one of my best mates Oz got his mits on it and we played it into the ground. I used to borrow it off him all the time, just to perv at sexy pixelated women grappling with each other. Been looking forward to playing this again.

And it doesn't disappoint either, not in the short term anyway. Really easy to pick up & play, it gives you a nice variety of moves and strategies to employ to do over your opponent. Grapple them with one of the various moves available? wear them down on the mat? clothesline them? trade punches? twat them against the railing from outside the ring? fly from the top corner? it's all there and all works really well in keeping things fun.

The presentation is really good too, with great aesthetics entwined into the gameplay & adding to the excitement. It's very clever how they don't give you an energy bar, but instead alter the portrait of the combatants depending on their health. This really keeps it feeling organic and VERY much in keeping with TV wrestling. One minute you're shaking & looking despondent with the opponent kicking your ass, the next you've knocked out a string of moves to see you thriving, and you're opponent is shitting it as you proceed to get topside. It can be very Hulkamania-esq, and is great fun.

The kicker is that, once you have the hang of it, it's a bit too easy. It's really not that hard to cheese victories, and that can kill a lot of the fun and excitement. There's also not much to see or do once you've finished it, in fact it's really a game that's more suited to playing on a Fri night drunk with your mates whilst the wives cook tea and talk shopping.

A really quirky, jolly game which lacks depth, but is still great, daft, brain-dead fun.

 

Golden Axe - Megadrive



So I've skirted around some of the big hitters of this era in order to give a bit more exposure to some of the lesser known titles, but I've been playing this most night with the missus these past few weeks, so now seemed like a good time to cover it, and you don't get much more of a bigger hitter than Golden Axe. This was one of the first Megadrive titles which I played alongside DJ Boy & Altered Beast on my mates Japanese imported Megadrive, and it's legacy is legendary.

It's just flat out fucking brilliant isn't it? There's no such thing as a "perfect" game, but this just does SO much right it's incredible. Firstly I'm a sucker for the fantasy theme, and this absolutely nails it. Barbarians, amazons, dwarves, dragons, the undead, it's wonderful rip-off of Conan with a bit of D&D thrown in for good measure. The music? Ye gads it's bang on. Each track is an absolutely epic fantasy score, which captures the vibe of the game & fantasy theme superbly.

Then you've the level design. Golden Axe does something which few actual "RPG's" manage to do nowadays, and that's convey the feeling of being on an adventure. The journey feels immense, as you do such things as fight in a village which is situated on the back of a giant turtle, whilst it sails you across the sea. It's real fucking fantasy stuff and I thrive on it. Each section of the game oozes character and, even though the enemies are very repetitive, the way they are presented in conjunction with the environment & little touches tells it's own little story.

But it's all for nought without good gameplay, and this is damn fine. Again not perfect, but damn fine. You always have to be on your toes and constantly on the move, hit & run, get in first or it's too late, it really is great stuff. A few too many enemies do fall to cheesy tactics, namely falling to their deaths very easily & being vulnerable to dash attacks. But they are so aggressive themselves, especially with their dash attacks & air attacks too, that it still strikes a great balance overall.

Two player is where the game excels, as there's no end of times you can use teamwork to good effect. You share credits, so said teamwork matters even more, and playing with a bit of a gimp like our lass can be as comical as it is frustrating. Single player is still great, but not as repayable as you can easily find yourself repeating similar patterns throughout several playthroughs.

What's more to say though? It's a fucking classic. An all time classic which is still just as enjoyable now as it was back then, and is probably my number 1 "pick up & play" game of all time.

Own it now.

 

Crackdown - Megadrive




I fondly remember playing this whilst waiting for my mam to take me to scouts as a kid. Used to love it, but grew bored of playing it quickly too. Kind of game I'd play through fully once every 4 or 5 months, then not touch again for ages. That old school voiced intro is so bad-good I'd mutter it to myself over the years for shits and giggles at random intervals.

So Crackdown really hasn't aged well at all, not one bit. The era produced some of the most rush-inducing Shumps in gaming, plenty of which stand the test of time today, so this style of more ponderous, considered Shump is really up against it nowadays. And it just doesn't cut it unfortunately.

The main problem I found was that most deaths occur from moving into the path of bullets which you can't see coming. Enemies hide outside the screen, and then shoot you dead the second you walk them into view. Which in turn really just turns the whole game into simply memorizing which enemies are where. It's not bad like, it's just a bit dull & there's far many more better games out there which apply that approach. The repetitive nature of shoot-duck-shoot-duck isn't really much fun either.

But with all that said, throw a 2nd player into the mix and it can be a laugh. I played it with our lass and it was like playing with a blind retard with no thumbs, which did create some laughs as I tried to drag her through the levels.

One of those games which I woudn't bother with now.

 

Play Scooby Doo for sega

 

Shining Force - Megadrive


^Laser Eye=Penis eye

Now this was a game I played to death back in the day. I owned the excellent Therapy? album Troublegum, and would turn down the volume on the game, and play both simultaneously over & over. I'd have had it as a "classic" before playing it now, so I was a touch apprehensive about returning to it with the nostalgia specs off to say the least......

It does a lot of things right which still hold up. The charm especially is there in abundance, with those cut-to battle sequences still fun to watch, even the 90th time over. The roleplaying areas all have their own character, and most importantly it feels like your on an actual journey, with the story fairly thin but told in such a way that the hero's journey is the focus. The humour's fairly good too, very child-like but still cheeky & charming in parts.

But it's biggest strength probably lies withing the plethora of characters you can add to your team. You've your standard knights, wizards & warriors, but then you have some superb unique characters such as a Ninja, Samurai, Dragon, Steamknight, Jellyfish (yep, you read right) etc. these really add some great flavour to the game & it's very rewarding locating & adding a character who offers something completely different to the others. It's also so easy to pick up & play that you're instantly drawn in and flowing along with the action no sweat. It's all really straightforward stuff, yet despite that has a smattering of depth here & there too.

But boy does it hit some major bumps, some which make the whole shebang a real grind.

Firstly, it takes some real time to gather momentum, in fact it doesn't really start to get going until Chapter 3 (there are 8 in total). Secondly, some of the maps are great with traps & unique challenges presented in them, however far too many are an absolute fucking slog. I mean a total and utter grind, where you spend turn after turn trekking across rough terrain just to reach combat. Yes you can have flyers & the likes who ignore such penalties, but these are fairly rare & at least half your force will be hindered by said terrain. It just makes for some long winded, dull battles. To add to that, leveling is pretty fucked up. You can go from wimp to God to wimp and back all in a few levels. It's not unheard of to be taking 1pt of damage in one battle, then getting one or two-shotted in the next. And this tends to push your focus into killing enemies for EXP rather than to win the battle, which again sours the whole experience.

At times I was loving it, and could see why it was a fave of mine back in the day. But nowadays it had just too much dragging it down to retain that "classic" status. I'd defo say check it out, but I think that's the last time I'll be playing it. Sleep well sweet prince.

Just started this. Seems OK so far, will continue later in the week.

 

Wonderboy in Monster Land - Megadrive



Some folk rave about this one, but despite being a Wonderboy fan I never got round to playing it. Just reading some online comments about it now, and there's plenty along the lines of "best Megadrive game ever". So it best be good.

Lying cunts, it's not. In fact it's downright dull as fuck. Which is rather puzzling to say the least considering that I absolutely thrived on the Master System's Dragon's Trap back in t' day. The problem is that the game is too far away from being any of the genres which it incorporates, and those which it does it doesn't incorporate well.

As an RPG it's proper old school stuff, with the guidance given often very ambiguous. Many puzzles you solve just by kinda trying things and going to different places at different times when you run out of ideas. As a platform game there's no real platforming to speak of. Yes you can jump, but you'll never navigate platform, pits, traps & suchlike as you do in games such as Mario. And combat is quite frankly shite, as you walk forward, stab, walk forward, stab etc. There's no real need for anything other than be cautious.

And then you've the levels themselves. Absolutely padded out to fuck. It's not unheard of to have to navigate 3 or 4 screens exactly like the one before, doing pretty much the same walk-stab pattern as you have all game. This is probably the game's worst sin, and it becomes real od real fast.

A few nice touches exist, and it does respond well. but it's a prime example of the type of game which made me think as a kid "I REALLY need to get a PC to play some proper RPGs"

 

Chicken Leg for codex avatar 2020.

 

I'm playing this ancient console RPG, some people may have heard of it. It's called Morrowind, but funnily enough it got a PC port. Can't wait to see what this Bethesda company has in store for the next titles.

 

Scooby Doo - Megadrive



As requested......

....I wasn't even aware that this game existed, so here we go.

Games like this are always gonna struggle to win me over due to 2 things. Firstly I'm a massive Monkey Island fan, so it's got all on trying to match up to that. Secondly, games of this ilk are very fiddly on gamepads, so I'm constantly longing for a mouse to play it.

As it stands I kinda enjoyed it a bit, but not much. The presentation is excellent, with the graphics in particular really capturing the Scooby vibe. Music is OK, nowt special, but it does play out very much like a Scooby cartoon, and just having those cliches such as monster chases in there is a nice little touch.

However, the humour is lacking, with odd moments of comedy but again when you go back to superbly written shizney like Monkey Island it just can't compete. Then the puzzles themselves can be very obscure, not anything new for this type of game, but some of them are really quite poorly designed IMO, having to open every door in a room to unlock one door for example. But the real kicker is that there's no real moments of inspiration. Everything's a bit flat & dull - grab items from draws, use bog standard items to solve puzzle (e.g. use a shovel to move snow). Finally it all takes place in contained areas, again unlike Monkey Island where there's a sense of exploration & adventure there. Again I just much prefer the latter.

Still I had some fun and don't think it's bad at all. I think Scooby Doo fans could get a lot out of it, and can see why some folk may thrive on it with the nostalgia goggles on, it just didn't do anything special for me & combined with the gamepad controls I found it more work-like than fun.

 

Final Fight - SNES



Another legendary game amonst us as kids, Final Fight really stood out in the arcades because of the meaty sprites & presentation, and tie ins with 80's rock & wrestling. More so, in Mike Haggar you had the choice of playing as a musclebound monster who towered over the enemy, and piling driving them into the ground. Suddenly you could be what most beat 'em ups would have as a boss. The whole thing created quite a buzz back then, and it was one of the main reasons I bought a SNES.

So big sprites, crunchy thuds, great tunes, responsive action, everything fits together great to create a very satisfying experience overall. Again it's move set is a bit limited, but it's certainly started to move away from the 80's era of limitations, with a enough in there to keep it interesting. And despite the more basic move set, a combination of varied enemy types & how you can utilize your limited moves & weapons surprisingly provides plenty of fun & variety. Other than the bog standard low grade fist-fodder, each enemy is very unique and has significantly interesting attacks. More-so, when certain combos of enemies team up it forces you to think & act in different ways, and it works really well. All the enemies have a ton of character too, which again keeps things interesting.

It's also very deliberate & punchy. Enemies take big chunks out of your life bar with only a few hits, and that keeps things on edge throughout. The levels have plenty of character too, with each serving as a noteable marker on what feels like a journey across dangerous turf.

But this SNES version suffers from a few major kickers. Firstly you can't choose from all 3 fighters, you always have Hagger to select from and then it's one of Cody or Guy depending on the version you play. It's not the end of the earth and you can work round it with different versions of the game, but it is a shame. However, the lack of a 2-player mode really is a kick in the sack and takes a big chunk of fun away from the game. You also have censorship playing a big role in certain versions of the game, with even certain sprites changing sex to appease the SJW chumps. And finally there's a missing level and, even though the level which was dropped was definitely the worst one IMO, it'd still be nice to have it there.

Still a top scrap, but I'd like to play the Mega CD or Arcade version with all the missing bits soon & see how that compared. For all it's faults, it's definitely still worth playing.

 

*sees Falksi's long list-of-tags*

Great. Now this thread is five miles longer.

 

How the fuck I didn't get a "Consoletard" tag I'll never know!

 

Hi, i hope you having a wonderful day , i couldn't pm you so, was wondering you mentioned a game called universe B.A.T 2 1980 game in other thread, i couldn't google the game could you please write me the correct name of the game please Thank you

 

This?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B.A.T._II_–_The_Koshan_Conspiracy

 

Maybe Thanks for the reply

 

I had to search for a while to find what that post was on about, and found that I was naming several games instead of just one: Both the Universe series of games and the two B.A.T. games, of which Sukhāvatī was so gracious to link to above.

I hope this clears up any confusion.

 

You never get the tags you actually want (with exceptions of course, see some of the Vatniks who are quite happy with their tag)

 

Yeah, I'm not bothered about tags either way, it just seemed a missed opportunity for DU as I'm clearly one of the more console focused posters on here.

Shame that the extended tag list is fucking up folk's enjoyment of reading the threads though because of the thread length like Unkillable Cat says above. I guess I'll just have to post longer messages

 

Just answer enough of DU posts in threads he cares about and probably deactivates them himself