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Review RPG Codex Review: Pillars of Eternity, by PrimeJunta

FeelTheRads

Arcane
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
13,716
Whats your point, FeelTheRads? surprised someone likes the reviews best that coincides with his own opinion the most?

I don't know, ask the "this is not the real review because it doesn't say the game is awesome" people.
People like one and a half turd there.

That's THE review.

This is THE review, bro. Reviews are now political manifestos and we judge their value based on whether we agree with them or not.
Fuck facts, "obsidian gunna make awesum rpg someday believe me" is what a real review should sound like.
 
Self-Ejected

Ulminati

Kamelåså!
Patron
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
20,317
Location
DiNMRK
:1/5::0/5:

Everyone involved in writing that travesty should commit ritual suicide to remove the stain on their family's honor.

Almost as boring to read as it was to play PoE.
Unenthusiastic.jpg
 
Last edited:

Angthoron

Arcane
Joined
Jul 13, 2007
Messages
13,056
This posts expresses one or more of the following:

1) Incredulity
2) Celebration
2) Excitement
3) Lack of excitement
4) Outrage
5) Questioning of author's sexuality
6) Hailing the author as being excellent and/or impartial
7) Desire to write own, more objective and talented review
8) Accusations towards the staff
9) Hailing staff as smart and competent people
10) Other

Note: This form may be used for any and all future PoE reviews.
 
Joined
Jun 10, 2014
Messages
515
Location
The last dictatorship of Europe
Whats your point, FeelTheRads? surprised someone likes the reviews best that coincides with his own opinion the most?

I don't know, ask the "this is not the real review because it doesn't say the game is awesome" people.
People like one and a half turd there.

That's THE review.

This is THE review, bro. Reviews are now political manifestos and we judge their value based on whether we agree with them or not.
Fuck facts, "obsidian gunna make awesum rpg someday believe me" is what a real review should sound like.
Chill out, bro. I liked the review not due to the fact that it supports my opinion of the game but because it feels like a proper codexian review. What I mean is that it touches all the aspects of the game and gives a good summary of what's done nicely and what's done wrongly.
This is the kind of review we all enjoy here, don't we?
 

Ellef

Deplorable
Joined
Dec 29, 2014
Messages
3,506
Location
Shitposter's Island
PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015
This review is almost as boring as Pillars of Eternity.

Review by Prime Crybaby, edited by Obsidian forum Janitor, screenshots by neutral-positive comments only.
:excellent:
 

Duraframe300

Arcane
Joined
Dec 21, 2010
Messages
6,395
... and so the long and weary Codexian Civil War continued with no clear winner with many a wounded and butthurt member languishing in the many PoE review threads strewn throughout the forum...

Who knew a codex civil war could be this boring?

But in the age of decline,...

everything declines
 

PlanHex

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Dec 31, 2007
Messages
2,053
Location
Copenhagen, Denmark
Worth noting is the excellent voice acting for the main antagonist: like David Warner with Jon Irenicus, Josh Brolin makes Thaos’s villain speeches sound like he means it.
Josh Brolin? What? No mention of him in the credits. And Thaos does not really sound like him.

On that note, anyone else thinks it's really annoying that it seems impossible to find out who voiced what in this damn game? Outside of the few people that are given characters on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2461406/fullcredits?ref_=tt_cl_sm#cast
 

markec

Twitterbot
Patron
Joined
Jan 15, 2010
Messages
45,668
Location
Croatia
Codex 2012 Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming! Dead State Project: Eternity Codex USB, 2014 Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath
So the Shill Brigade worked so long for this shit, its just hilarious. Im all for this review being linked on the curator page since shit game deserves shit review.
 
Joined
Jun 16, 2015
Messages
148
Location
Amerikwa
:whatho: Reading this felt like my mind was being fucked by liberals.

4 goddamn reviews for a single shitstorm while something that is actually a quality game such as Serpent In the Staglands is left with none? :decline:
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
Fourth a charm? No. Since a game must be played seven times, it must also have seven reviews. Only then can the cycle be complete and the Codex at last be returned to its hate-filled torpor.

Seven times? A lie needs to be repeated a thousand times to deceive the clueless to accept it as truth and this is only the second deceitful shill review: there are still 998 PR sellouts left.

I liked the review not due to the fact that it supports my opinion of the game but because it feels like a proper codexian review.

Kane & Lynch original review in Gamespot is more "Codexian" than this one, which, on the other hand, is totally fit for Gamespot, Kotaku or IGN. Beats it even in drama: a honest review for the first time that got a games journalist fired and the site where it happened dumped with goatses/"I'm 12 wat is this" vs. a crybaby fanboy beating apologism into a dying horse and occasional jabs in comments? No contest.

For those who want a Serpent In the Staglands review, it's futile. All whores like to pick an indie who can't afford them bribes as a punching bag and I wouldn't be surprised if insisting in having one soon would end with the usual suspects rushing a Pope Amole II "review" of it. Still would pale compared to K&L's review classical drama.
 
Joined
Jun 10, 2014
Messages
515
Location
The last dictatorship of Europe
Kane & Lynch original review in Gamespot is more "Codexian" than this one, which, on the other hand, is totally fit for Gamespot, Kotaku or IGN. Beats it even in drama: a honest review for the first time that got a games journalist fired and the site where it happened dumped with goatses/"I'm 12 wat is this" vs. a crybaby fanboy beating apologism into a dying horse and occasional jabs in comments? No contest.
The fact that you hated the game doesn't mean that every positive review is bad.
 
Unwanted

Irenaeus II

Unwanted
Dumbfuck Repressed Homosexual The Real Fanboy
Joined
Jun 9, 2015
Messages
3,251
Location
Rio de Janeiro, Cidade Desespero
Kane & Lynch original review in Gamespot is more "Codexian" than this one, which, on the other hand, is totally fit for Gamespot, Kotaku or IGN. Beats it even in drama: a honest review for the first time that got a games journalist fired and the site where it happened dumped with goatses/"I'm 12 wat is this" vs. a crybaby fanboy beating apologism into a dying horse and occasional jabs in comments? No contest.
The fact that you hated the game doesn't mean that every positive review is bad.
This will blow their minds.
 

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