SHOCKER: Cliffy B leaves Epic

Anyone who fondly remembers Jizz Junkrabbit never played it when it was current so it's all faux-nostalgia.

Shit game cashing in on the Rat Fink revival / EXTREME COOL DUDE ATTITUDE ANIMALS of the 80's/90's.

edit: I remember thinking it was a shitty Sonic / Biohazard (not RE)/ Duke Nukem ripoff and I got really mad at my friend who said it was good like Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure

 

All the other games for 8-10 year olds weren't around where those codexers were 8-10 year olds.

You sound awfully sure of this.

 

I'd take a game like Jazz Jackrabbit over another Gears of Modern Battlefield, thank you very much.

 

Jazz was a pretty decent and fun platformer and it was on the PC. Not something I'd go back to even though I'm fond of green rabbits.

 

And I'd take a bullet to the head over drowning in my own diarrhea.

 

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan Apogee had such good stuff. What was the one where you were a little kid running around in some Halloween world or some such, and there were monsters locked in cages? I believe some of the early levels had a lot of tree platforming. Had that floating in my mind a bit recently and I remember it being fun but can't remember the name of it to save my soul.

 

The latter is more likely to be saved from though, so I'm not so sure I agree.

 

Monster Bash!

 

Are you seriously going argue a hypothetical death scenario used as an analogy for shitty games with me?

 

I'm just saying it's a bad analogy bro. You need to be more clear in your intent. Needs more AWESOME.

 

Well, I don't know what in particular is wrong with it. I mean, I didn't play too much of it, but what I did play seemed to be a mechanically sound platformer. Yeah, you get all sorts of indie platformers these days, I tend to forget about that, sure, but I don't recall just about anything about it being quite that horrendous. What was so bad about it?

 

It's just a dull generic platformer from an era jampacked with shitty generic platformers. There are games more worthy of remembrance of praise than that, I just wouldn't count it as something that should count as a redeeming quality for CliffyedBee.

My awesome button is stuck.

 

Well it was finally a true platformer designed for the PC, on par with the Sonics and Marios of the time.

 

Jazz Jackrabbit 2 was a great game

 

It was like a shitty clone of Sonic except because this was the BADITUDE ERA they gave him a blaster rifle. Fuck even his feet did the little whirling circle animation at running speeds

 

who cares if is shit or not! sometimes we just want some childish non pretentious fun

 

Yeah it was like really fucking original in Sonic. They should've patented it and shit.

 

Jazz Jackrabbit 1 was a great game and had an awesome soundtrack.

 

I grew up watching wolves devour other children while I sucked the eyeballs out of their mother's heads and shit in the hollow skulls of their fathers so you'll have to forgive me for not having watched a cartoon from motherfucking 1949. I swear the moment one of you figures out the VCR thing it goes straight to your head.

 

Jazz Jackrabbit might even have been my favourite game when I was a kid. Commander Keen and Bio Menace were a close second.

 

Childhood befitting a true Codexian.

 

Oh man Bio Menace was so good. Snake Logan had a mullet and porn stache. True hero.

 

I love Bleszinski and Epic Megagames for stuff they made and published in 90s. And at the same time, I fucking hate Bleszinski and Epic Megashit for what they became after 2002.
...
Okay, it sounds like a little cunt after being brutally raped by a dreamy boyfriend. So, fuck that losers and let's wish Epic a soon end of the line.

 

I guess Cliffy B just isn't... Epic enough.