SS Codex goes to space. Prospector ironman LP.

I WANT TO BELIEVE!

 

Awright, Azira, if you fuck this up - I swear to god. Don't you even dare



Huh. The perfomance of my officers surprisingly improved after the decline of wages.

Scanning time! Lizzurd, wake up your schizo butt and do some actual work, for a change. Let's try the second planet from the sun.



Whaaa..? What does it even mean? Show me the scan results.



Ok. Let's take a break. Nobody does anything until Lizzurd explains what the fuck is going on. Give me your professional opinion on risks involved if we land on this planet.

 

"An exotic atmosphere", eh? Any chance of it containing alcohol?

 

Just one simple fact. There may live lizards!

 

Also, unless our crew can see by UV light, landing there means we need to bring our own lightsource, and even then, we'd still probably be able to see jack sh-

...

Oh, sorry, I'll just go hit the bottle again. Forgot it was the lizard who's the scientist.

 

Good stuff with the LP! It inspired me to start a session on my own again. I did fairly well. I had a skillfull crew (only one doc killed early on), good exploration, made decent money, the most happy crew you can have etc. Shortly, I was all around on the road to success. Then I entered a gascloud and got blown up without warning... Don't enter gasclouds if you don't have to!

 

Oh my pork, this is hilarious. Moar please. I suggest sending a "volunteer" to see if the planet's atmosphere is toxic for human beings or not.

 

Lizzurd assured me we'll be fine. But I'm taking him with us, just in case.

I mean, what are the risks here, really? So it's a planet, which surface is 43% covered with plants of all sorts. Yet there are 0% lifeforms. It has rather comfortable temperature and gravity, but we might experience problems with visibility. According to our drunk pilot. Our scientist says we're gonna b ok, if we watch out for lizards.

This is how the current Awayteam looks like.



I gave Kalin a combat knife. Not the weapon he needs, but the one he deserves.

*Suddenly, SS Codex starts shaking*



Azira, what the actual fuck! Why did you need to correct the orbit? Ok, nevermind. Jeez.

TAKE US DOWN! Wait, that came out wrong. I mean, HOLY SHIIIIEET



That was a bumpy ride and a wild landing. At least we're alive.

So. The visibility is surprisingly good, even though it's night time. We are surrounded by trees, with deposits of gold and iron nearby. The green square far away is actual acid, so we better be careful not to step into an acid pool. We might encounter acid rains too.

Forgot to say there is an 'i'nspect function, which allows to inspect any square we are standing on, Usually it's either nothing at all, or nothing major. But these exotic plants are sort of creepy, might be worth of investigation.

Ok. So do we look around, try to map some turf? Or go straight for TEH GOLD?

Edit: also, we have landed right on top of a tree. Thanks, Azira. Really convinient.

 

We should look for lizards. I wish to collect local plants and investigate them for any possible lifeforms.
But we shouldn't walk far away. You know, I am afraid that the air itself may be poisoned with acid...

 

... But you estimated 0% of lifeform probability in your earlier scan report.

Goddamn crazy reptile.

 

Captain Grimwulf, were not you the one who told me that reptiles are not considered to be lifeforms? I still remember how I met you in the bar!

 

True dat. Awright, let's "collect local plants" or whatever.

Holy shit!



No lifeforms my ass! That changes everything! I want to remind everyone that we don't have a LAZORH anymore. If we encounter, hm, smth bigger than a cycads, we have nothing but Kalin and his combat knife to protect the Captain. Travelling far away, or even staying close to the ship is dangerous if we are not alone here.

Ok, you know what, CAPTAIN'S DECISON - we get out of here. But let's just check out a tree. Why are they so strange and creepy...

FUCK MU



WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON I CAN'T SEE SHIT HALP

 

I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what is going on! We are attacked by SOMETHING that we cannot even see!

Two security guards are DEAD



I think it's ERYFKRAD and Beowulf, but I can't check it out now (I forgot if it takes a turn or not). We are back at the ship, but the ship itself is in GODDAMN TREE, and I have no idea if it can even launch from there. Or at least do it fast enough.

Every wasted turn might cost us A CAPTAIN's life. Azira, I swear, if you fail me now - I will haunt you after my horrible, horrible death.

 

No lifeforms my ass.
Where did you get your diploma? In a pack of space dorritos?

 

Can't you just (C)lose the door?

 

we've still got a flashbang right? throw it at the impossible lifeform and let's get the fuck outta here.

 

But we couldn't even SEE where is it. Not even the direction it attacked from!

Damn, too late. But thankfully, we made it out alive. Well, most of us.



After closing the airlock behind and taking off the spacesuits, turned out I was wrong. Beowulf is alive.



But ERYFKRAD and Kalin are not. Let's take a moment and honour the fallen, maybe say a few words about them.

ERYFKRAD was a man of few words and shitty taste in rpgs. The best thing he had ever done is sacrificing his life for Cpt. Grimwulf.

Kalin loved reading and talking about books. He wanted a vibro sword and a bonus. All he got was a combat knife and a wage decrease. He lived a good life.

If anybody has anything else to say, now is the time. If not - well, the ship is still in good enough condition to scout one more planet.

 

Dibs on the combat knife.

 

Hm, the ship might be, but not the suits.



Awayteam will be too small if we only use non-damaged ones. Maybe it's better to fly towards the station, after all.

I will leave that decision to you, men. And while you think, complain and drink to the memory of ERYFKRAD and Kalin, I gotta have a drink myself. A long, long drink.

See you tomorrow, men!

 

It's not that the combat knife is most likely with the dead body of Kalin or that there are more volunteers to use it.
I just wanted to honour the memory of our self elected chief security officer by showing that I've learned his best business practices.

On that note - since the security team shrinked, perhaps it would be wise to redistribute the security funds among the surviving members, huh?

Also - station seems like a good course to take.

 

The knife is with us. It was p.chaotic back there, but somehow we managed to drag the bodies of fallen comrades to the ship. So we still have their damaged spacesuits and Kalin's knife.

Or recruit MOAR security at the station! Fun fact: the maximum amount of people that Light Scout ship can carry is 10, including Captian, 4 officers and 5 security. BUTT, security can use DOUBLE BUNKING, which allows to to fit up to 10 securities in total! Damn, I wanted Dayyālu and Kalin to share the same bunk. What a pity.

 

I think I speak for all of us when I say that the two men whose bodies now lie in our hold were the least of us, simply not cut out for the prospecting life. if they hadn't been killed by a creature that didn't exist, they probably would have just taken a wrong turn out an airlock or cut their own throat when practicing with the combat knife. for the rest of us, tomorrow's a new day, men. I feel like things are really going to take a turn for good when our adventures continue.

 

*chuckles* So, landing in UV light, which we do not have the photoreceptors to process, I landed the ship masterfully removed from direct surface contact. The away team then went out, looked (how did they manage that?) at blue insects, then proceeded to get mauled by things they could not see in the UV light.

Guess my estimate wasn't far off. Good for the rest of us that takeoff was uneventful, eh?

 

Sign me up for security duty; I don't think the wait's going to be long

 

Sign me up for pilot duty when you finally throw Azira out of an airlock. I want his chair and booze.

But if that'll take too long, I agree for a security job in the meantime.