Star Wars 1313 announced

Same old shit.

Good VO in the first movie clip, but I see nothing even remotely Star Wars-y in this.

 

So I was like "Hey, having windows on a spaceship sounds like a great idea, surely nothing bad will happen to them." and then I was like but maybe I give them a benefit of a doubt and then it was like "Oh-ho, look, dude got shot out of the broken window!"

So Star Wars had the same tech level for how many thousand years, and they didn't figure out that windows IN SPAAAACE is bad for what exact reason?

 

SW is retarded from any scientific or quasi scientific point of view. Big news, hold the press!

 

It looks like it's made on the TOR engine (at least characters). So, shit. Also, the first thing they show in a gameplay trailer is... a QTE section. Wow.

 

They worked for the last 1312 Star Wars games.

 

Stick to the cover and Pop a robotic mole like in 90% of other ''RPGs"... So this why this game is called 1313(th)? or is this from target audience age? :declining:

 

Clearly 1 symbolises cawk while 3 symbolises boobs. Combine that with "mature" and you get emotional engagement!

 

Well fuck, I'm going to buy it.

Developed for PC too... lush.

 

Maybe if they showed some boobs instead of pair of fags I would be ''emotionally engaged'' and even feel some.

 

Why the fuck would anyone want a dark and mature Star Wars experience? I wanna blast shit with my laser guns while cutting shit up with laser swords and throwing stuff around with ZE FORCE!! Or keep only the first one and give me Republic Commando 2. Is that so hard to get? Goddamn it.

 

At least they got the protagonist right. Sleazy, a bit dubious...a bit faggy, as the Commissar already alluded.

Much better than this gay Starkiller dude from TFU. He looked like some nobody.

 

Will there be Twi'lek whores?

 

Fixed and by dark and mature they mean gay butt sex and/or gratidious swearing.

 

I would rather not have that shit in games at all.

 

Uncharted IN SPACE... the joke just tells itself.

 

Holland is one of my Gods...SWOTL and Their Finest Hour were great sims for their time as well and had the best manuals ever, that were great history books in their own right. How the decline has marked this man...it's tragic....

Fun fact: I sold my copy of TIE Fighter CD in the late 90's as I thought that I'd never get it running again and there'd be no need anywa as we were on the incline escalator to the stars and games would just be getting better and better for ever.

 

Poppin' moles in linear corridors, my that certainly is a Star Wars game they have there.

Ask the weirdos who like The Sith Lords.

 

Hey, remember when Star Wars games used to be awesome fast-paced FPS titles with expansive 3D levels and lots of exploration, or full 3D dogfighting games in the style of Wing Commander, or interesting RPGs that expanded upon the universe and had fun characters to interact with?

Yeah, let's just make Gears of War... with blasters! Because everyone knows that the last pointless and inane Star Wars action game they made turned out so well!



Oh... oh wait.

 

George Lucas and fanboys are butthurt about Star Trek's remastered editions, and refuse to accept that KotOR2 exists already.

 

Gears of Star Wars. Even has the waist high walls an' ever'thing.

 

No, in Gears of Star Wars you would use a lightsaber to MAKE waist-high walls everywhere!

 

More than anything I hate the ridiculous retcon and fucked up progression in Star Wars. The original trilogy due to limitations in CGI and money actually provided the most aesthetically interesting yet spartan designs. Black/white clean lines on Imperial ships/architecture etc. Then in the new shit all of a sudden there is a huge abundance of super fancy tech despite it being 30-40 years before the first films. The screen is filled with hundreds of weird arse flying things that you see for two seconds, everything exploding etc. I could accept putting in more Rebel ships and more fighter combat during the Death Star battles rather than the dozen or so ships you actually saw, but filling every scene with such stuff? In KOTOR the tech is more advanced as well despite being 4000 years earlier and since that time nothing really changed.

As for the Derp Unleashed, well that's the shittiest retcon I've ever seen: From nowhere the greatest Jedi of all time suddenly appears can fuck up a star destroyer and rapes Vader over and over yet still can't beat some old prune faced monkey eyed tosser, then disappears as quickly as he came and the fate of the universe suddenly rests on a faggot with one hand who has the powah to defeat the emperor(and still doesn't as Vader does). Why would Vader settle for less trying to get Luke onside when he clearly has not even 1% of the ability of Starfucker? Where'd all the wacky force powers go? So fucking stupid.

Tie Fighter went a bit too far as well with all the Tie Advanced and Tie Defender models and all the super secret Imperial civil wars, but at least it offered some kind of explanation for why the Empire wouldn't be able to beat the pathetic Rebels, being distracted by internal problems, and the space combat didn't really interfere with canonical progression. Dark Forces did it right too, being set during the rebellion but focusing on normal combat in trying to stop a secret project. The other games Jedi Knight and it's sequel also worked as they were set after the end of the trilogy so anything should go then. But TFU was fucking atrocious, the worst lore rape I've ever seen in a game.

 

Twi'lek whores are a staple of any SW game or film. They are sure to be present and whorey enough!

We may even have the opportunity to shoot first. Unless they edit that out later.

 

My Favorite Part of the Video is when the explosion caused all the crates in the room to move into perfectly proportioned cover spots.

 

The best part? George Lucas approved it all himself.