Star Wars 1313 announced

[circ]

Shit that was nothing. The extended song and dance number in Jabba's palace. What the fuck was that?

 

[Volourn]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

[Wirdschowerdn]

Volo has an avatar? Something's not right.

 

[DraQ]

As for the Derp Unleashed, well that's the shittiest retcon I've ever seen: From nowhere the greatest Jedi of all time suddenly appears can fuck up a star destroyer and rapes Vader over and over yet still can't beat some old prune faced monkey eyed tosser, then disappears as quickly as he came and the fate of the universe suddenly rests on a faggot with one hand who has the powah to defeat the emperor(and still doesn't as Vader does). Why would Vader settle for less trying to get Luke onside when he clearly has not even 1% of the ability of Starfucker? Where'd all the wacky force powers go? So fucking stupid.

I never paid attention to FU, not being an SW-fag and knowing it would suck, but that's got me curious: what was the story of (I presume aptly abbreviated) FU?

And yeah, Lucas is an assclown, it's pretty evident from the fucking prequel trilogy. This and midichlorians.

Tie Fighter went a bit too far as well with all the Tie Advanced and Tie Defender models

Wasn't TIE Advanced what Vader flown during the first Deathstar battle?

 

[commie]

As for the Derp Unleashed, well that's the shittiest retcon I've ever seen: From nowhere the greatest Jedi of all time suddenly appears can fuck up a star destroyer and rapes Vader over and over yet still can't beat some old prune faced monkey eyed tosser, then disappears as quickly as he came and the fate of the universe suddenly rests on a faggot with one hand who has the powah to defeat the emperor(and still doesn't as Vader does). Why would Vader settle for less trying to get Luke onside when he clearly has not even 1% of the ability of Starfucker? Where'd all the wacky force powers go? So fucking stupid.

I never paid attention to FU, not being an SW-fag and knowing it would suck, but that's got me curious: what was the story of (I presume aptly abbreviated) FU?

And yeah, Lucas is an assclown, it's pretty evident from the fucking prequel trilogy. This and midichlorians.

Tie Fighter went a bit too far as well with all the Tie Advanced and Tie Defender models

Wasn't TIE Advanced what Vader flown during the first Deathstar battle?

That was just a one off that according to lore was used as a basic for several TIE fighters, and yeah it was used as a basis for the TIE Advanced(Avenger), but then there was the Tie Defender and it all got a bit too much. I guess they wanted to keep giving the player upgraded weaponry but it would have made more sense if it was set after the defeat of the Empire at Endor. You do have a 'Prelude to Endor' campaign in Tie Fighter so it would have been cool to have a 'what happens next?' to the rest of the Empire after that. I always wondered where the 50 or so Star Destroyers disappeared to during that battle(only two were actually lost in the movie) and so you could have had a whole series of missions where you flee then try to rebuild, and getting the better weaponry.

As for FU well I lost track of the story as it was all so convoluted: Vader finds Starkiller and 'adopts' him in secret to be his student. Then he plots with him to overthrow the Emperor, but then he shows to be on the Emperor's side all along when the Emperor finds out or he only pretends to find out, but it was actually a plot between Vader and Empy to make Starkiller think that he was going to rule with Vader.. Then Vader 'kills' him to show loyalty to Empy, only not really, and secretly again he heals Starkiller and gives a sob story about how he actually is on Starkys side and not Empys' and that he really and truly means to rule the Galaxy with him etc. At the same time he tells Starky to go join the rebels to not arouse suspicion and fuck Imperial shit up while at the same time working for Vader. At the same time or earlier the Emperor has his own secret agent(Jedi or whatever the fuck) to spy on Vader and Starkiller and of course eventually she turns to the forces of good(I can't remember how or why) and convinces Starkiller to REALLY join the rebels and that Vader is two timing him with Empy, which in the end he does, yet again siding with the Emperor and Starkiller brings down everything in the throne room rather than join either, deciding to 'kill' himself rather than fall for the same trick a third time. Empy is disappointed but yet again takes on Vader as his butt buddy and it's all revealed that it was some bullshit overcomplicated plan by him to use Starkiller as a draw to bring into the open all the secret resistance to the Empire by destroying Imperial installations which it does. The real Rebel Alliance is thus created by the Emperor himself. This actually is the only cool thing in the story and would have worked so much better if that's all it focused on rather than all the other shit.


And bla bla bla...why I wrote so much? Guess I wanted to make some sense of it after wasting those hours of my life with it...

 

[DraQ]

As for FU well I lost track of the story as it was all so convoluted: Vader finds Starkiller and 'adopts' him in secret to be his student. Then he plots with him to overthrow the Emperor, but then he shows to be on the Emperor's side all along when the Emperor finds out or he only pretends to find out, but it was actually a plot between Vader and Empy to make Starkiller think that he was going to rule with Vader.. Then Vader 'kills' him to show loyalty to Empy, only not really, and secretly again he heals Starkiller and gives a sob story about how he actually is on Starkys side and not Empys' and that he really and truly means to rule the Galaxy with him etc. At the same time he tells Starky to go join the rebels to not arouse suspicion and fuck Imperial shit up while at the same time working for Vader. At the same time or earlier the Emperor has his own secret agent(Jedi or whatever the fuck) to spy on Vader and Starkiller and of course eventually she turns to the forces of good(I can't remember how or why) and convinces Starkiller to REALLY join the rebels and that Vader is two timing him with Empy, which in the end he does, yet again siding with the Emperor and Starkiller brings down everything in the throne room rather than join either, deciding to 'kill' himself rather than fall for the same trick a third time. Empy is disappointed but yet again takes on Vader as his butt buddy and it's all revealed that it was some bullshit overcomplicated plan by him to use Starkiller as a draw to bring into the open all the secret resistance to the Empire by destroying Imperial installations which it does. The real Rebel Alliance is thus created by the Emperor himself. This actually is the only cool thing in the story and would have worked so much better if that's all it focused on rather than all the other shit.

Wait what.

 

[kris]

I think that makes just as much sense as the emperors plans in the prequels.

 

[Commissar Draco]

As for FU well I lost track of the story as it was all so convoluted: Vader finds Starkiller and 'adopts' him in secret to be his student. Then he plots with him to overthrow the Emperor, but then he shows to be on the Emperor's side all along when the Emperor finds out or he only pretends to find out, but it was actually a plot between Vader and Empy to make Starkiller think that he was going to rule with Vader.. Then Vader 'kills' him to show loyalty to Empy, only not really, and secretly again he heals Starkiller and gives a sob story about how he actually is on Starkys side and not Empys' and that he really and truly means to rule the Galaxy with him etc. At the same time he tells Starky to go join the rebels to not arouse suspicion and fuck Imperial shit up while at the same time working for Vader. At the same time or earlier the Emperor has his own secret agent(Jedi or whatever the fuck) to spy on Vader and Starkiller and of course eventually she turns to the forces of good(I can't remember how or why) and convinces Starkiller to REALLY join the rebels and that Vader is two timing him with Empy, which in the end he does, yet again siding with the Emperor and Starkiller brings down everything in the throne room rather than join either, deciding to 'kill' himself rather than fall for the same trick a third time. Empy is disappointed but yet again takes on Vader as his butt buddy and it's all revealed that it was some bullshit overcomplicated plan by him to use Starkiller as a draw to bring into the open all the secret resistance to the Empire by destroying Imperial installations which it does. The real Rebel Alliance is thus created by the Emperor himself. This actually is the only cool thing in the story and would have worked so much better if that's all it focused on rather than all the other shit.

Wait what.

Too much Herp in Derp. So anything SW related worth playing past the Jedi Academy?

 

[Darth Roxor]

Too much Herp in Derp. So anything SW related worth playing past the Jedi Academy?

Republic Commando and Empire at War (+expansion)

 

[commie]

Wait what.

Indeed. It's like they thought of one thing, realised it only had legs for half the game then recycled the plot from the first half again, adding some 'it was the Emperor's plan all along/he's always 15 steps ahead of you' bullshit at the end.

I think that makes just as much sense as the emperors plans in the prequels.

Yeah, using one group against another in secret but at the same time working against the same group he created is pretty fucking stupid. In this shit it just goes too far and it's like those annoying expanded universe storylines which have the Emperor cloned and killed and re-cloned and re-killed over and over. Is it really that hard to come up with a half decent story?

Too much Herp in Derp. So anything SW related worth playing past the Jedi Academy?

Republic Commando and Empire at War (+expansion)

KOTOR 2(KOTOR came out a few months before Academy).

 

[kris]

I think that makes just as much sense as the emperors plans in the prequels.

Yeah, using one group against another in secret but at the same time working against the same group he created is pretty fucking stupid. In this shit it just goes too far and it's like those annoying expanded universe storylines which have the Emperor cloned and killed and re-cloned and re-killed over and over. Is it really that hard to come up with a half decent story?

The dark horse comic "dark empire" is one of the worst affronts to star wars or storytelling in general. In fact they managed to take in most of the fallacies of comics in general in that one. (Clones, people coming back from the dead, exaggerated powers, all new cooler better whatever) Only George Lucas himself managed to make something worse with the prequels. maybe force unleashed beat both, but I have not played that.

 

[commie]

I think that makes just as much sense as the emperors plans in the prequels.

Yeah, using one group against another in secret but at the same time working against the same group he created is pretty fucking stupid. In this shit it just goes too far and it's like those annoying expanded universe storylines which have the Emperor cloned and killed and re-cloned and re-killed over and over. Is it really that hard to come up with a half decent story?

The dark horse comic "dark empire" is one of the worst affronts to star wars or storytelling in general. In fact they managed to take in most of the fallacies of comics in general in that one. (Clones, people coming back from the dead, exaggerated powers, all new cooler better whatever) Only George Lucas himself managed to make something worse with the prequels. maybe force unleashed beat both, but I have not played that.

Heh, you're lucky not to have played. Strange thing is that the actual use of force powers to fling fuckers or chop them up with your saber is pretty cool and graphically it looks nice. Just a shame that there's nothing else in the game but doing the same thing over and over mixed with annoying as fuck platform jumping and the shittiest boss fights evah. I'd recommend you to chech out a jewtube of the actual 'story' for the lulz though...

 

[Commissar Draco]

KOTOR 2 is not SW game... It is Obsidian game.... Today Games are Serious business... And I bet this Suit was as excited about toothpaste he sold last year.

 

[Wirdschowerdn]

New trailer:



Looks like a half-decent Star Wars game. Not bad, hadn't one of those for nearly a decade now.

Incline: Only PC version announced so far, probably means no current gen release.

 

[Wirdschowerdn]

That's still better than FU 1313!

 

[Don Peste]

Cover-based = Unforgivable shit.

 

[Wirdschowerdn]

Day 1 purchase!

 

[ironyuri]

How can that be titled a gameplay trailer? I haven't seen any gameplay?

 

[Infinitron]

Your father's keyboard. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a gamepad; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of monocle and incline in the Old Republic. Before the dark times... before the popamole.

 

[Angthoron]

Day 1 purchase!

Day 1 comment on a Day 1 purchase!

 

[Don Peste]

Day 1 purchase!

Day 1 comment on a Day 1 purchase!

Well, maybe when it's 75% off on Steam and if it has co-op.

 

[Angthoron]

Day 1 purchase!

Day 1 comment on a Day 1 purchase!

Well, maybe when it's 75% off on Steam and if it has co-op.

Speaking of co-op, been playing Saints Row 3 co-op with bros, sick fun. Too bad it's only limited to 2 players. Easily the best buy of the Steam Summer Sale.

Yeah, that's how much I care about SW1313.

 

[Wirdschowerdn]

You two, out of my thread! Popamole like Saints Row has no place here.

 

[Angthoron]

You two, out of my thread! Popamole like Saints Row has no place here.

But but... I bought it on Day 1

 

[Infinitron]

Maybe we should have a dedicated "Morgoth's DAY ONE PURCHASE Mainstream Gaming News Thread".