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Stellaris - Paradox new sci-fi grand strategy game

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TBS, I know you know better than to play this bullshit. Didn't I run a turn of SMAC by email for you one time?

Yeah, you did. Thanks for that, btw.

I love me a good Grand Strategy Game, but I barely played Stellaris actually. Fiddled with it a bit. Then I heard about how next patch would overhaul it and decided to wait for that instead.

I have a "wait and see" to Paradox games since the old days of pretty much broken launches. I might jump into it with the next patch, or not, while current-gen pdox games run decently on my laptop, they don't run 100% fast, even with me lessening all the graphix and using mods that make it run faster.
 

Blaine

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Grab the Codex by the pussy
Fuck me, I'm gonna have to play this garbage pail so that I can roost on this thread like a pissed-off bird and properly dress down all these clowns, aren't I?



But not this year. Even on holiday sale, this shitpile costs over $60 with its DLCs, but only after cutting out the unessential DLCs. And the DLC's still not finished coming, is it? And it's still a less complete game than fucking MoO2. Fuck me!
 

Tigranes

Arcane
Joined
Jan 8, 2009
Messages
10,350
He clearly has a million billion dorrahz and lives forever, so he can afford to do something Celerious as buy and play a game he thinks is shit just so he can shit on it a bit more.

I mean, a man's hard-on is a precious thing.
 

Grotesque

±¼ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Divinity: Original Sin Divinity: Original Sin 2
25588179_2007414816194420_269420648730913127_o.png
 

Blaine

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Grab the Codex by the pussy
He clearly has a million billion dorrahz and lives forever, so he can afford to do something Celerious as buy and play a game he thinks is shit just so he can shit on it a bit more.

I mean, a man's hard-on is a precious thing.

I don't make a habit of buying games that I know from secondhand information are absolute garbage, but the space 4X genre is near and dear to me. The gross insult of comparing this cash-in shitheap to Master of Orion is difficult to ignore. Once I've played the game for around 20-40 hours, I'll be armed with firsthand information, and won't need to rely on osmosis.

I'm not going to play Stellaris just to shitpost in this thread, though. I plan to write an extensive review for the Codex. In fact, your mockery has inspired me to buy the game right now, dig into it, and get the review out ASAP. If by some miracle I'm convinced that the game isn't a total shitheap, then the review will reflect that, but I'll be using MoO, SMAC, and other genre titans as bases for comparison. I'm aware there's a bit of disparity between Stellaris and "pure" 4X; I'll be taking that into account as well.

I pushed my 4,500-word Underrail Re-Preview out in less than 8 hours. Better get to writing feverishly if you're of a mind to scoop me, Paradox shills. You have about three to five days, maximum.

Merry Christmas, you fucking tasteless pieces of declined shit!
 

Tigranes

Arcane
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Messages
10,350
Sure, go ahead, I wonder if I'll learn anything new though, it's pretty clear this game is lukewarm poo

I pushed my 4,500-word Underrail Re-Preview out in less than 8 hours.

Wow, you write superhumanly quickly! please use your boundless wealth to give me sex change surgery so I may have your babies
 

Blaine

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Actually, it was more like two hours. Ask Infinitron; he has the eidetic memory of your typical robot. Keep in mind that simply typing it out is only a minority of the actual work. Composition is where most of the work comes in.

Here's what I've heard about Stellaris, from reading the Stellaris Steam forums, the Paradox forums, and various other 4X forums off and on since the game's release:

  • shallow/pointless diplomacy
  • shallow economy simulation
  • shit-tier AI presents no challenge (some reviewers/commenters go into great detail, here)
  • battles are doomstack vs. doomstack, more and bigger = better, absolutely no tactical choices to make, only a retreat button (reinforced by Paradox's feverish attempts to rework the combat in this game)
  • paint the map and kill everybody, that's your gameplay
  • fucking orc, cyclops, dwarf, elf races and other gay bullshit

I know that these are all true because the preponderance of evidence is huge (and in the case of fucking fantasy races, I've seen them and the negative reviews Steam users have left for them with my own eyes), but I don't know intimately or to what extent. I do think it's worth 20-40 hours of my time to find out, in this particular case.
 

Tigranes

Arcane
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Messages
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Don't worry, dude, I still want your babies even if you're not quite sure if it was two or eight. I guess with that kind of elasticity, playing this really would be worth your time. Just promise me you won't have any fun!

(This would be more entertaining if Stellaris was actually a good game, but oh well.)
 

Jason Liang

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Stellaris is probably even worse if you've played the others, since the game is so derivative. There's practically nothing original or innovative- it's just rip the cool ideas and toss salad with them. Perhaps someone who's never played MoO, SMAX, SC2, SotS, SH 4.0!, etc... will enjoy it the most.
 

Blaine

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Don't worry, dude, I still want your babies even if you're not quite sure if it was two or eight. I guess with that kind of elasticity, playing this really would be worth your time. Just promise me you won't have any fun!

I hope you have some elasticity in your asshole if you plan to keep up this homoerotic mockery campaign.
 

Zboj Lamignat

Arcane
Joined
Feb 15, 2012
Messages
5,523
Gee, remember those times when, unlike other codex boards, strategy forum wasn't 75% filled by posts made by obvious utter fucking retards?

Yeah, me neither.

Merry Christmas guys!
 

Blaine

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Gee, remember those times when, unlike other codex boards, strategy forum wasn't 75% filled by posts made by obvious utter fucking retards?

Nope. Much like every other subforum, it's 90% retards playing and discussing the latest miserable decline and then pathetically trying to justify themselves.
 

Mortmal

Arcane
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
9,158
Gee, remember those times when, unlike other codex boards, strategy forum wasn't 75% filled by posts made by obvious utter fucking retards?

Nope. Much like every other subforum, it's 90% retards playing and discussing the latest miserable decline and then pathetically trying to justify themselves.

There's not so much decline here, i cant recall a better era for strategy games. The only disapointment come from stellaris because its the most mainstream game ever released at paradox, and apparently it's getting massively revamped.This year you could still play endless space 2, dominion 5 . CK2 and eu 4 with all the dlc are something really awesome.It never been better.
 

Blaine

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Grab the Codex by the pussy
There's not so much decline here, i cant recall a better era for strategy games. The only disapointment come from stellaris because its the most mainstream game ever released at paradox, and apparently it's getting massively revamped.This year you could still play endless space 2, dominion 5 . CK2 and eu 4 with all the dlc are something really awesome.It never been better.

Better than SMAC and MoO? kys kiddi

Victoria II was the last good Paradox game. Get over it.

Endless Space 2 is p. gud, for a modern Civ-style thing
 

Mortmal

Arcane
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
9,158
Actually, it was more like two hours. Ask Infinitron; he has the eidetic memory of your typical robot. Keep in mind that simply typing it out is only a minority of the actual work. Composition is where most of the work comes in.

Here's what I've heard about Stellaris, from reading the Stellaris Steam forums, the Paradox forums, and various other 4X forums off and on since the game's release:

  • shallow/pointless diplomacy
  • shallow economy simulation
  • shit-tier AI presents no challenge (some reviewers/commenters go into great detail, here)
  • battles are doomstack vs. doomstack, more and bigger = better, absolutely no tactical choices to make, only a retreat button (reinforced by Paradox's feverish attempts to rework the combat in this game)
  • paint the map and kill everybody, that's your gameplay
  • fucking orc, cyclops, dwarf, elf races and other gay bullshit

I know that these are all true because the preponderance of evidence is huge (and in the case of fucking fantasy races, I've seen them and the negative reviews Steam users have left for them with my own eyes), but I don't know intimately or to what extent. I do think it's worth 20-40 hours of my time to find out, in this particular case.


"Shit-tier AI" is an understatement of the millennium when you can slaughter
fTTBLia.gif

, including fallen empires, awakened fallen empires, end-game crisis uber aliens, with just 1 planet on "insane". The only thing that is hindering you a bit is lack of energy. When you have a 120 naval capacity fleet out of 30 naval capacity available you get like -200 energy/month, so you have to do silly things like trade minerals/research/strategic resources for energy. Trading that stuff every few months gets annoying fast. Although you could turn aliens into tributaries and vassals, those options are for pussies only.

You can also wardec
fTTBLia.gif
,
except fallen empires, since almost day one and be "The Heir to the Throne of the Kingdom of Idiots" and fuck up the AIs real good or take all their planets. Oh wait they don't have planets.. they only have 1 planet because you wardecced them so now they are building shitty corvettes instead of expanding.

Then when you get bored there are amazing exploits awaiting for you to discover them. Things like complete "diplomatic immunity", endless troops, unkillable fleets that destroy doomstacks, endless influence.
Unkillable fleet , how so ? Never had to exploit much in stellaris , never heard about that.
 

Lone Wolf

Arcane
Vatnik
Joined
Apr 17, 2014
Messages
3,703
with just 1 planet on "insane".

Guy, I think this is your most used phrase on this forum. And it's probably in every single post you've made in this thread.

Embarrassing. Congratulations, you've figured out how to use shitty exploits to win the game. What an indictment of Stellaris, that it can be exploited by people who treat all games as puzzles to be figured out. It's a good thing classics like MOO1/2 could never be exploited, perfectly balanced as they are.

I really don't know how I managed to enjoy my time with Stellaris, with all these exploits running around.
 

Raghar

Arcane
Vatnik
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
Messages
22,506
with just 1 planet on "insane".

Guy, I think this is your most used phrase on this forum. And it's probably in every single post you've made in this thread.

Embarrassing. Congratulations, you've figured out how to use shitty exploits to win the game. What an indictment of Stellaris, that it can be exploited by people who treat all games as puzzles to be figured out. It's a good thing classics like MOO1/2 could never be exploited, perfectly balanced as they are.
Does it still work in current version?
 

Lone Wolf

Arcane
Vatnik
Joined
Apr 17, 2014
Messages
3,703
If any of you want a great (and NSC compatible) shipstyle, check out Kurogane (and maybe Tall Ships, too, by the same author) on the Steam Workshop.

Quality.
 

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