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The Biowarian Twist: ME3 Edition

Havoc

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Ok. We all know what's a Biowarian Twist. It's not a twist, it's just stupid. So let's guess the "twists" in the upcoming title Ass Effect 3.

Me first:

Cerberus joines the Reapers, because Shiny Eyes wants for humanity to be the only race.
 

ChristofferC

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It turns out that Shepard was a reaper all along and all his actions were only meant to divert attention. His brain was reprogrammed by other reapers so he didn't remember his real past. Your mission in ME3 will be to help wipe out humanity.

EDIT: But in the last minute Shepard realizes how evil his own race is and feels disgusted so he turns on them and wipes out the reapers!!
 

CrimsonAngel

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Humans are actually what reapers ones where and they where put on earth by the Prothians to try and make a virus to fight the reapers. The Prothians died out, but the virus us still hidden in out genetic code ready to be activated when the right signal is sent.

The issue is only 1 in 10 humans will survive the activation of the signal.
So the choice is DO we activate the signal on full force and Destroy all reapers or only use the signal sparingly risking that the reapers get away.

OH and Tali has a Penis
The Reapers is Shepard's dad
Garrus is actually the shadowbroker
Wrek is a women trying to find her place in a Mans world.
 
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Captain Janeway, Captain Picard and Commander Sisko travels through a rift in space and ends up in the ME universe and then pwns the Reapers with their advanced weaponry... and the twist? They're the Terran Empire versions of Janeway, Picard and Sisko. Dun dun duuuuuuuun.
 
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Okay, here's the actual twist: Shep-tard is revealed to be an inbred American asshole and is replaced by a proud aryan übermench... and the thing is... he has assburgers and refuses to fight the Reapers by means of the all-mighty gun, but rather he opts to defeat them by creating the best RPG ever made.
 
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No, wait... Shep-shit gets fucked up the ass by Garrus and kills himself in the shower, and the entire game is spent searching for all of his body parts so that he can be brought to life again.

Go to planet 1 - 2- 3- 4 - 5 and fight the endboss. Bioware.
 

racofer

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Earth will not be destroyed, but instead warped into a huge ass pylon to sustain the reaper fleet. Shocked by this revelation, Shepard and the Council discover that the Reapers are actually the good guys which are protecting us from the true manace - The Zörg.

The Reapers, powered by the Earth Pylon, bravely defend the milky way against the Zörg in what will be later known as the Rush Jöbwars.

As the war ends, the Reapers finally reveal their true purpose as the keepers of the galaxy. The other extinct races were, in fact, wiped out by the Zörg in every other confrontation of the past. It was not until now whoever, that the Reapers had found the strongest of races - the humans - which are capable or harnessing unprecedented amounts of a rare energy called Freeh-DA-Hums.

Millions of years ago, the seed of life was given to Earth. This was done by the ancientest of races, the Dhraküm. Knowing of the greater threat from the outer galaxy, the Dhraküm specially conditioned the development of many species across the galaxy. But it was not until the time of Earth that they had finally managed to perfect their creation. Soon after unlocking this achievement, however, the Dhraküm were nearly wiped out by the Zörg queen Phleemitas. But the Dhraküm did not go down without leaving their greatest weapon to defend the galaxy. Eleven Mechadhraküms were built and they, alone, repelled the Zörg invasion. The Dhraküm were nearly devastated though. Their once galactic empire was in ruins. Instead of rebuilding, they accepted their faith and decided that the milky way was now for their many children which they scattered across the galaxy. The Mechadhraküms were empowered with the knowledge to duplicate themselves and the single task of watching over their masters creation.

The remaining Dhraküms that were not tainted by the Zörg corruption settled back on Earth to watch closely the development of their children, while many others, knowing of their impending death, ventured for one last time into the depths of the Deep Outerspace for one last glorious confrontation against their sworn enemy.
 

Sulimo

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I'd really like it if there were no twists at all. Seriously, I don't see the need to win the war against the reapers. They should make sure you have to find out as much as you can about the reapers so you can defeat them, but by the time you figure it out the universe is lost (i.e. fleets destroyed, supply lines cut, infrastructure ruined - seriously, name me one decent game that shows how important these things are save for Paradox-games) and you're pretty much boned.

You can try to store your information somewhere safe with a decent power supply (as opposed to the protheans, who seemed to run their time-capsule on triple-A batteries) or choose to skip straight ahead to a heroic last stand on a ruined planet, Shepard gets killed, the end.

Also, Tali should be tastefully raped by a squad of Hanar bikers.

It will be glorious.
 

CrimsonAngel

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racofer said:
Earth will not be destroyed, but instead warped into a huge ass pylon to sustain the reaper fleet. Shocked by this revelation, Shepard and the Council discover that the Reapers are actually the good guys which are protecting us from the true manace - The Zörg.

The Reapers, powered by the Earth Pylon, bravely defend the milky way against the Zörg in what will be later known as the Rush Jöbwars.

As the war ends, the Reapers finally reveal their true purpose as the keepers of the galaxy. The other extinct races were, in fact, wiped out by the Zörg in every other confrontation of the past. It was not until now whoever, that the Reapers had found the strongest of races - the humans - which are capable or harnessing unprecedented amounts of a rare energy called Freeh-DA-Hums.

Millions of years ago, the seed of life was given to Earth. This was done by the ancientest of races, the Dhraküm. Knowing of the greater threat from the outer galaxy, the Dhraküm specially conditioned the development of many species across the galaxy. But it was not until the time of Earth that they had finally managed to perfect their creation. Soon after unlocking this achievement, however, the Dhraküm were nearly wiped out by the Zörg queen Phleemitas. But the Dhraküm did not go down without leaving their greatest weapon to defend the galaxy. Eleven Mechadhraküms were built and they, alone, repelled the Zörg invasion. The Dhraküm were nearly devastated though. Their once galactic empire was in ruins. Instead of rebuilding, they accepted their faith and decided that the milky way was now for their many children which they scattered across the galaxy. The Mechadhraküms were empowered with the knowledge to duplicate themselves and the single task of watching over their masters creation.

The remaining Dhraküms that were not tainted by the Zörg corruption settled back on Earth to watch closely the development of their children, while many others, knowing of their impending death, ventured for one last time into the depths of the Deep Outerspace for one last glorious confrontation against their sworn enemy.

Hey they stole that from Warhammer 40k.
 

Lesifoere

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I was just going to suggest that Shepard turns out to be a fragment of the Star Child and must be destroyed so that the Emperor of Mankind can reincarnate.
 

Fat Dragon

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It turns out the Reapers were killing everyone to build new Reapers to build up their army to face an even mightier Lovecraftian foe far beyond comprehension. Shepard's story concerns fighting the Reapers, once his trilogy is done Bio will begin making a new one where you fight the REAL threat to the universe lol no they won't EA will shut them down before they start, leaving the entire ME story unfinished.
 

abdwef

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Things I'd bet money on:

- the final battle takes place at the Citadel

- there is a Collector or Prothean party member

- the Keepers on the Citadel will be pivotal in some way

- the element zero (eezo) and its "mass effect" will be pivotal in some way

- there are four main quest branches; after completing all four, the quest chain leading to the final battle is unlocked

- over the course of the game, Shepherd will develop strange and unique character abilities related to synthetic beings; a new power is introduced by resting after completing one of the four main quest branches


Possible twists:

- Shepherd is turned into a Husk halfway through the game, or slowly changes into one over the course of the game

- the Reapers were originally organic squid-like beings (the first organics?), and turned themselves into machines; that's why there's so many squid Reapers, and the whole human-reaper thing is a relatively recent idea on their part

- to permanent stop the Reapers now and for the foreseeable future, races must abandon all technology based on element zero and its "mass effect"

- the entire game seems to be leading up to a final battle with Harbinger, but the real final boss is a new female character in ME3 (Melissan/Morag/Meredith)

- the new Shepherd is a clone from the Lazarus project, or Cerberus has made a clone
 

Vaarna_Aarne

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Lesifoere said:
I was just going to suggest that Shepard turns out to be a fragment of the Star Child and must be destroyed so that the Emperor of Mankind can reincarnate.
It would be very appropriate for Bioware to rip off the single most retarded part of 40k. Well, Malal did give Star Child a run for its money though.
 

Angthoron

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It will turn out that everything that was going on in the game is for real and you just saved the world in the future.
 

MetalCraze

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Lawl Mass Effect 3 sucks, just like Mass Effect 2 sucked and Mass Effect 1 did before that. Bioware is such a shit at what they do. That's why I already have Mass Effect 3 and all its 0-day DLCs on preorder!

So I can be l33t on the Codex, pretending that I hate mainstream and consoletards while playing Mass Effect 3 on my Personal Console yeeeaaaa
 

Xor

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Havoc said:
Cerberus joines the Reapers, because Shiny Eyes wants for humanity to be the only race.

This is plausible and I'd like to expand on it.


TIM ends up contacting the reapers somehow, maybe in an effort to make a deal with them or just fishing for weaknesses. He is indoctrinated as the reapers promise their plans will not destroy humanity, but change them into something far greater. This leads to Cerberus chasing after Shepard throughout ME3.

Shepard has to find some way to stop the reaper invasion, but bad press and his/her actions in Arrival have everyone trusting him/her less than ever. Most of the Normandy crew is either stranded on earth or just plot convenienced out of Shepard's reach, forcing him/her to build another fucking team, although it will probably be much faster this time since that can't be the focus of the game again.

As an aside, if Bioware was smart or just not lazy, they would have used the team built up in ME2 again in ME3. It would have made the assembling and loyalty quests more meaningful if that was there to set up for the final game. Unfortunately knowing Bioware they won't do that because writing branching dialog is hard.

The actual meat of the game will probably involve the quest for the final mcguffin to end all mcguffins. I'm guessing it will either allow Shepard to control one of the reapers (for a climactic final battle), destroy the reapers (the Lord of the Rings ending), or disable the reapers in some way (this would allow for more sequels). The mcguffin itself will probably be a virus that EDE will make after you gather reaper artifacts from 5 or so worlds so she can fully understand their programming or some shit.

At the end of act 2 there will be some dramatic reveal, possibly about some group being indoctrinated (maybe the counsel, that would explain their incompetence) or just some asspull that will seem bad at first but give Shepard the strength he/she needs to finish the fight once and for all.

The final act of the game will have Shepard battling the reapers somehow with the mcguffin. The normandy will probably be destroyed and a few important characters will die because Bioware likes to do that kind of thing to create drama. They'll probably be characters nobody likes though, because otherwise Bioware's fans will lynch them.

The game will have endings that range from super happy to bittersweet (maybe shepard dies in one of them), but the reapers will always end up in the same place (either destroyed, disabled, or controlled probably) so Bioware doesn't have to retcon anything going into their next ME game. If there is a reapers win bad end, it will be like Shepard dying in ME2 - you only get it if you completely fuck up and it isn't recognized as cannon. There will be tiny nods in each ending to various choices you made in the first two games, but I doubt there will be any significant impact on the ending based on your actions in those games.

Those are my thoughts on ME3. Now I'm going to sit back and watch them come true, because Bioware's writers are about as predictable as...something really predictable.


Edit: come to think of it, the 3rd promised ME2 DLC will probably explain why Cerberus is against you now. That's pretty much the only thing left for them to cover, I think.
 

Sulimo

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Havoc said:
TIM (...) iis indoctrinated as the reapers promise their plans will not destroy humanity, but change them into something far greater. This leads to Cerberus chasing after Shepard throughout ME3.

While we're at it, did anyone else realize just how lazy a plot device indoctrination really is? When people start acting out of character just give them an indoctrinating mcguffin and noone is the wiser. Did the same thing with the lyrium idol in DA2, pisses me off. Bioware! :decline:

For once I'd just like a Bioware story where you might sympathize with the villain, instead of the big bad being a cardboard cutout of Adolf Hitler IN SPACE.
 

Xor

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The only Bioware game where I could sympathize with the villain is BG2. Irenicus is actually a bit of a tragic figure. Certainly not the best villain, but better than anything they've really done since.

Actually I think they tried to recapture that with DAO but Loghain just comes off as an idiot rather than tragic.
 

Admiral jimbob

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MetalCraze said:
Lawl Mass Effect 3 sucks, just like Mass Effect 2 sucked and Mass Effect 1 did before that. Bioware is such a shit at what they do. That's why I already have Mass Effect 3 and all its 0-day DLCs on preorder!

So I can be l33t on the Codex, pretending that I hate mainstream and consoletards while playing Mass Effect 3 on my Personal Console yeeeaaaa

We know you do, Skyway. We know.
 

Havoc

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Xor said:
The only Bioware game where I could sympathize with the villain is BG2. Irenicus is actually a bit of a tragic figure. Certainly not the best villain, but better than anything they've really done since.

Actually I think they tried to recapture that with DAO but Loghain just comes off as an idiot rather than tragic.

I agree. The best villian from the Bioware line, better than Sun Li, The Glorious Strategist from Jade Empire. Don't know if Darth Malak from KOTOR and Sarevok from BG1 are good enough villians, but still are better than the villians from ME series and DA:O/2.
 

Coyote

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Sulimo said:
I'd really like it if there were no twists at all. Seriously, I don't see the need to win the war against the reapers. They should make sure you have to find out as much as you can about the reapers so you can defeat them, but by the time you figure it out the universe is lost (i.e. fleets destroyed, supply lines cut, infrastructure ruined - seriously, name me one decent game that shows how important these things are save for Paradox-games) and you're pretty much boned.

Along similar lines, I would love it if, in a truly devious twist, Bioware made it so that your choices from the previous games really did matter and could actually make it impossible for you to win against the reapers. Or at least make it so that there was no good ending - no matter how you won, it would be a bittersweet/Pyrrhic victory. For example, one possible scenario:

* If you went full paragon and had the support of the council, the rachni, and all the other groups you'd helped out with your paragon-y ways (e.g., preventing the geth and quarians from going to war, using Legion to reprogram the geth to be more organic-friendly, preventing Mordin from using the modified genophage and thus giving the krogan the ability to replenish their numbers, etc.), you could spend the game uniting them and win a war of attrition against the reapers over the course of the next few decades, though likely at some devastating cost in terms of the damage to the galaxy and number of casualties. Plus, once the war was over, the coalition of races would fall apart, and all of the old problems and hostilities would resurface. The krogan, their numbers unchecked while other species struggled to repopulate, might begin their wars of conquest again; the geth and quarians would continue to fight territorial disputes; the council would fall victim to its old faults once more; the rachni would be forced to raid already-inhabited planets for land and resources as their population increased back to its old numbers; and so on. Ultimately, although he saved the galaxy, all of Shepard's attempts to change it for the better would prove futile. ("War, war never changes." / "What can change the nature of a krogan?" / etc.)

* If you went full HUMANS, FUCK YEAH renegade in the previous games, weakening other species and strengthening humans at every chance you got, then humans would be able to consolidate their power, force the other races to work with them, and use the reaper tech and other advantages you gained for them to win. However, you would also leave the human race universally hated and severely weakened by the war, things like the indoctrination technology and husk conversion process would be leaked and become much more commonplace, and it wouldn't be long before another galactic conflict broke out, possibly leaving the humans in a much less favorable position than they had to begin with. In the end, historians would curse Shepard as the man responsible for setting humanity on the path that led to its downfall.

* On the other hand, if you were more moderate in your actions, maybe saving the council but dooming the rachni, sending the quarians off to fight the geth while saving the krogans, etc., then the conflicts among the various alien species would leave them too weak to put up a fight against the reapers, but strong enough to prevent humans from taking over. Thus, the galaxy would be divided and present easy pickings for the reapers, no matter how hard you struggled in ME3 to prevent it.

I wouldn't want this exact scenario to happen, since it would pretty much shoehorn you into playing a full paragon/renegade Shepard in order to win, but it's where I'd expect the series to naturally progress based on the setup in the first two games if a company with more cajones than Bioware were making ME3. And it could be frustrating if you played a more neutral/nuanced Shepard, but it'd be worth some respect++ for a company willing to gamble the popularity of a major franchise like ME for such a conclusion if it was well-executed and they did it for the right reasons.

As for what the twist will actually be, my guess is this: there was a strong theme in ME2 of how gaining power/technology without developing it on your own (and thus gaining the experience needed to use it wisely) causes problems. See, for example, Mordin's discussion of the krogan's actions following the Rachni Wars or everyone's reactions to your endgame decision about what to do with the collector base. Sovereign also mentioned in ME1 that the reapers left behind the mass relays and other such technology so that the various races of the galaxy would develop along the path the reapers desired. So my guess is that the races of the galaxy will have to forsake all the technology that's been left for them by the reapers in order to defeat them. Of course, players will still want to explore the galaxy, use eezo, etc., so Bioware will come up with some excuse about how scientists were finally able to come up with a way to travel great distances without depending on the mass relays. This would all be very stupid for a number of obvious reasons, of course, but it's Bioware, so that only increases my confidence in this theory.

Either that or the asari turn out to be evil. I never did trust those mind-controlling freaks.
 

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