The Mass Effect 3/BioWare Thread

If I was Gaider I would probably have shot myself at this point.
Just sayin'.

It's a smear of faeces. You know - buttplug.

 

Garrus bust

 

BioWare should People's Temple themselves.

edit:

Does it have to be confirmed? The possibility of it should be more than enough.

 

Sounds like it was a pretty good project, expanding a man's horizons like that.

 

So making TOR turned him into alcoholic, that's sad.

 

I bet he will make a beer that is perfectly adequate for most people, you can drink with your friends, wife, kids and/or same sex partner.

 

Working at Bioware, nevermind on TOR, would make me want to drink too. I think the only surprising thing is he didn't get into anything harder like whiskey or cocaine. "I've learned a lot about myself during the development of TOR and have decided to apply my passion to developing high quality blow and associated products for my fans."

 

Of course he wouldn't. Whisky is for the refined taste, not for one who would sit idly by and allow TOR to happen.

 

I would have expected him to end up drinking Blavod. I'm not sure whether that exists outside of Australia, but's it's basically a vodka that's so goddawful that they colour it black in order to hide the impurities. The closest comparison I can think of is that black liquid at carries the T-virus in the first Resident Evil film (both in terms of similarity to the vodka, and concerning the effect it has when drunk).

 

Actually, whisky in polandia is a hipsters' beverage.

 

That Garrus bust is just goddamn profound sadness.
Oh also, butt plugs?

 

Greg, forget about beer.

The only thing that can help you now is absinthe.

 

Pfff... like he could handle something like that.

 

Even better, think of the hilarious drunken videos.

 

So, his next company and a career of a beer taster. Can we assume it'll be named...

...BEERAWARE?

 

BEWARE would be more appropriate.

 

I tried to be supple, er, subtle.

 

You cannot be subtle with BW's target audience.

 

Even as a s/s virgin LI?

 

That's supple again.

PS I hate this thread for being able to understand that

 

Yeah, because that's all games are about, being able to feel like a hero by quickloading over and over again to find the optimal choice of dialogue for the optimal outcome so you can feel like a real hero. This is what's wrong with Bioware games; ego-stroking.

 

But you don't even need to do that! Want to save everyone? Well then you fucking go grab one of the good wizards at the Circle Tower then and don't do that BLOOD MAGE WIZARD'S BLOOD MAGIC RITUAL YOU FUCKING MORON. That's basically what the game tells you. And the werewolves? Same thing! In the end you get a choice to side with the elves, the werewolves or the Lady of the Forest! Pick one and shut the fuck up. No extra requirements necessary, other than not choosing the "NO I KILL YOU (Fight)" option.

The game ALWAYS makes it painfully clear for you how to achieve the best possible scenario. Even the dwarves thing I found easy as fuck. Why? By talking to characters. In a manner of minutes you learn that "Oh, that Bhelen is a scumbag but he's got some pretty nice ideas. He wants to take care of the casteless and open up for more trade and interaction with the overworld!" "But Harrowmont, he's a good guy. Never even got caught masturbating by his mother! Yes, he's a good fellow. But he wants to close shit down even tighter and let dwarves be dwarves all by themselves!" It's actually a good effort by BioWare to try and trick the player like this. Too bad it doesn't fucking work if you are capable.

Yes, BioWare is so fucking complex.

I realize Biodrones need to make shit up to make their games sound better than they really are but this is pathetic. Great job, you fuck. Now I'm sick AND hating everyone.

Fuck you. Lithuanian hitmen hitman are..... GO!!!