The "modern day" plot of Assassin's Creed is embarrassing

I started playing AC3 this morning after a long hiatus from the series, and was greeted with this scene upon beginning the game: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9-RnO3zXbU

Tell me that isn't one of the schlockiest things you've ever seen. It's not just some treasure hunt in the past, oh no. It's a treasure hunt for magical artefacts that were left by "those who came before", and the people trying to find it are part of an EVUL corporation who are secretly part of the KNIGHTS TEMPLAR and they're tricking all the sheeple (like you) into thinking they're the good guys. Oh and also the end of the world is happening on a very coincidently trendy day during the year this was released, plus we're being guided by unseen ancient aliens that we've given several pretentious and groan worthy monikers.

All this accompanied by dramatic music and an equally dramatic narration that's played entirely straight.

It's like something Dan Brown would come up with.

 

Is that what it's about? I played the first 2, and still didn't pay attention.

Oh well.. I can't be surprised that Ubi would make Templars the bad guys.

 

Actually that's remarkably similar concept to a sci-fi space opera book series. Only there the people sent into the past were immortal androids (they could only send people into the past, not forwards).

And as is natural in these stories and the writers masturbating over them, the time travelers created the conditions for the company to exist, in a set of closed timeloops, i'm sure this dumb game does it.

 

Ass Creed 1 story - Some cheap hack Ubi hired tried some shitty Sci Fi fanfiction but fanfiction was somewhat original as it happend on crusades Jerusalem.
Ass Creed 2 story - The hack Ubi hired snorted some cocaine and made more shitty fanfiction but Ezio story was a straightfoward enough revenge story for them to not completely fuck up.
Ass Creed 3 story - Cocaine addict fanfiction writer dream with Pocahontas and go completely crazy and incoherent.
Ass Creed 4 story - Ubisoft is kinda ashamed of what happened on Ass Creed 3 and as they are releasing a game a year, they don't have time to write anything better to replace Desmond, modern timeline is made completely irrelevant and on an ironic twist, that is a good thing.
Ass Creed Unity - Ubisoft not being happy with only making the modern story irrelevant, makes the whole story irrelevant by making the protagonist some french Ezio wannabe that is boring as fuck.

 

Ye, 1-3 is some derpy Desmond story.
In 4, Rogue and Unity the modern story is just something added on as a excuse to use the animus.

 

After posting in the DAI thread, I'm kind of reminded of some of it's similarities (superficially speaking) with this. And in retrospect, I can appreciate AC more for just being a "better" image of the same thing. The marketing image of the Inquisitor and the big open world reminds me of AC. Wthin the game itself though, it's full of faggotry. At least AC is railroaded away from this.

I don't know if that makes sense. It's the only positive I can say. I thought AC1 was shallow as hell when I first played (I had higher hopes). AC2 was a little better, but I preferred the middle eastern themes over Venice.

 

Last one I played was Brotherhood, and the apocalypse was coming in 2012. What happened with that?

 

It's some embarrassing chick lit for most of it, although it was nominated for the hugo or nebula and won the short prize or something. It's a nice idea that only occasionally broke through into actual goodness because the author kept being sidetracked into including the main 'romance' - which is why the best books are where the pair isn't. The short collections are the best.

https://www.goodreads.com/series/41665-the-company

Mmm, i probably shouldn't have called it a 'space opera'. What do you call a science fiction story that loves to explore historical periods and secret history?

 

Hell if I know. Dune is space opera and has it's own fair share of secret history stuff too.

Uh, if it takes place in the future, you might as well call it that.

 

I actually know of that writer: she wrote a really hilarious Cugel story for Martin's anthology of (mostly crap) Dying Earth fan-fic. That's the only thing of hers I've ever read tho, but that one story was really good and that is how I heard of "Company" series.

 

She died of cancer a year or so ago. Ah well.

 

The only moniker you need to know for the "aliens" is this one: melonheads.

The Assassin's Creed plot is the truth, twisted through a prism of melonhead lies. It is revealed that they are the creators of sap-kind, yet they also take credit for everything that came before, all the inventions, knowledge and achievements of the ancients. There are no 'thals, starchildren, serpentine or other old races in these games, melonheads are all, like gods. They dole out weapons and knowledge to saps and pit them against each other in futile, centuries long bloodbaths for their amusement. One such knee-slapper is the assassin/templar conflict where they've taken special enough interest to make direct contact, and even interbreed as evidenced by some of the AC protagonists having special "powers". These idiots fight for control of humanity on behalf of the melonheads while the world goes to shit. Don't worry though guys, the end of teh world was averted at the end of AC3 by a benevolent melonhead using some scienmajifics. No idea what the story is supposed to be in AC4/5, apparently they just keep murdering each other just because.

pictorial evidence (open) pictorial evidence (close)

LOOK AT THEIR SKULL SHAPES


Saps were made stupid and easy to control on purpose.


Yet somehow the melonheads lost that control. Through scheming and infighting? Or were the saps just too violent and stupid?


Or was it because they tried running everything by themselves, and lost the knowledge of how to use the artifacts made by the other races?


Musings of gullible saps. Yes, all those weapons and control devices to were there to aid you


does ubisoft know they are telling lies?


they are event taking credit for the vaults!


You just have to do as they say and kill yourself some more saps, then you will truly be free



Now the Templars and Assassins run their errands, in secret. Believing that to give people freedom you have to control them



They are trying to extract the melonhead genes from people, is this where the series is headed, pureblood melonheads?



It's like that thing that guy was talking about.

In conclusion:

 

Well, that's sad.

Did she finish the series?

 

I think I identified your problem.

 

2015 user playing AssCreed is more embarrassing than the plot or whatever Ubisoft has put out lately.

 

It isn't all that bad series, Ass Creed 2 you had virtual tourism on Florence and Venice and Ass Creed 4 had you controlling a pirate ship and singing sea shanties with your crew mates, they are good for what they are games to not take too seriously. The other Assassin's Creed however, especially AC 3, they are just worse rerashes of AC 2 or AC 4, cannon fodder for Ubisoft one game a year mercenary strategy.

 

I think Virtual tourism of Venice would be even cooler, if the character was Casanova.

One of my bad ideas for awhile btw...

 

You could tap into asscreed fans, romance fans AND sjw's! An instant slamdunk.

 

I have failed to care about any AC plot, old or modern. But I like virtual tourism aspect. And gameplay is fun, even though it is as much repetitive as the plot.
My favorite AC episode is Brotherhood, because Rome is fantastic.

 

Oh THAT'S why you fuckwits are always bitching about AC3? The shitty "evul white devils killed muh fambly who dindu nuffin, feel guilty", Avatary Pocahontasy storyline? I could never figure out why the Edgydex had so much sand in their vaginas over what is clearly the best game in the series.

I didn't even remember that until now. I do agree that it sucks, big time. I was actually quite taken aback by how blatant the SJWgressives had gotten. But I somehow didn't remember. Must have blocked it out. I remembered the biggest open world out of the lot, the best music in the series, very detailed Noo Yawk and Boston, naval combat, shootan and LARPing the American Revolution, shooting the shot heard round the world and having the best tea party since Alice in Wonderland.

Who ever gives a shit about the story in an AC game? ESPECIALLY the modern part?

 

The sci-fi garbage is for dudebros and other plebs for whom history or historical settings are boring. It's one thing for video games to constantly traffic in fantasy gobbledygook to enable certain kinds of gameplay, but the sci-fi shit doesn't inform AC's. Would make more sense in the Prince of Persia games where you can rewind time.

 

What?

 

Are you joking or are you one of those that only hangs around one gaming community and gets all of his game related news from that same community (in your case, this forum)?

Wherever you look at, AC3 is considered to be either the weakest or one of the weakest parts of the series.

 

And no one ever says WHY.

But now I know. Storyfags. Storyfags never change.

Doesn't explain why they cream themselves over 2 so much though... The first game had probably the best story, minus the Abstergo crap of course and the second one is p. boring, at least the part I did play.


BTW this is the only gaming community with any shred of credibility left. Not a big shred but still.

 

Having the modern day part was an incredibly moronic decision. Not only did they constantly rub your face onto the unbelievably derpy modern-day plot, but you also got all those virtual-reality semi-invisible walls to break your historic hiking simulation immersion. Because you can't have just a story about assassins in a historic setting, NOOOOO you must also have all this modern/futuristic shit and meta-plots and moronic explanations that when you die, you don't really die... you "Desync" or some shit.

Fucking dimwits.