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The Quest For Buttons

Discussion in 'Choose Your Own Adventure Land' started by Falksi, Feb 8, 2019.

  1. Mr. Magniloquent Learned

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    Location:
    The Present
    I can only guess why they were removed. Beyond a form of admonishment for heretics, I suppose they could make the discourse lazy and reactionary. It seems like it would be better to just eliminate tracking and records of them. I thought they were a good feature. They are a product and reinforcement of this place's culture. I make no comment on the culture itself, lol.
     
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  2. Oracsbox Cipher Shitposter

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    Location:
    Deck of the Liberator
    STR - 1
    PER - 1
    END - 1
    CHR - 1
    INT - 1
    AGI - 1
    LCK - 1

    I've not been well recently

    Race - Morlock
    Class - Nuke'em High
    Special skill - :shitposting:
     
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  3. Oracsbox Cipher Shitposter

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    Location:
    Deck of the Liberator
    My followers
    Princess Heaving breasts-Sandwich'Maker.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Special Attack
    Leather Bikini Slap
    [​IMG]

    My other follower
    Blind Black and White (sometimes colour)Japanese Guy
    [​IMG]
    Special Attack
    Badass
    [​IMG]
     
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  4. Falksi Arcane

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    What a mighty fine selection of warriors we have now for our merry band! In summary:

    Falksi
    Race: Human
    STR - 10
    DEX - 15
    PER - 17
    CON - 10
    INT - 14
    WIS - 14
    CHA - 16

    Nikolokolus
    Race: ?
    STR 14
    CON 17
    SIZ 12
    INT 13
    POW 18
    DEX 16
    APP 6

    Dawkinsfan69
    Race: Nigger
    STR 420
    CON 420
    SIZ 420
    INT 420
    POW 420
    DEX 420
    APP 420
    Traits: Niggeritus. -410 to all stats. Tendancy to steal

    Generic-Giant-Spider
    Race: Giant Spider (generic)
    STR - 10
    CON - 9
    DEX - 15
    WIS - 4
    INT - 11
    CHA - 20
    Traits: Boyish Charm

    SorinMask
    Race: Orc
    Class: Monk
    STR - 12
    DEX - 16
    CON - 12
    INT - 18
    WIS - 16
    CHA - 6

    Elizabeth
    Race: Human
    Class: Slag
    STR - 4
    PER - 8
    END - 7
    CHR - 3
    INT - 5
    AGI - 8
    LCK - 5
    Traits: Flexible Body, great fuck.

    Karnak
    Race: Human
    Class: Warrior-King
    STR - 17
    DEX - 16
    CON - 17
    INT - 19
    WIS - 18
    CHA - 16

    Grauken
    Race: Cactus
    STR - 3
    PER - 1
    END - 8
    CHR - 5
    INT - 2
    AGI - 8
    LCK - 6
    Traits: Good for moral, spiky dildo

    Jacob
    Race: ?
    STR - 16
    DEX - 12
    GIR - 6
    CON - 6
    INT - 8
    WIZ - 4
    CHA - 3

    Oracsbox
    Race: Morlock
    Class: Nuke'em High
    STR - 1
    PER - 1
    END - 1
    CHR - 1
    INT - 1
    AGI - 1
    LCK - 20
    Traits: Shitposting, Princess Heaving breasts-Sandwich'Maker follows.


    PAST MEMBERS: TheSavant (Deceased)

    10 hearty adventurers ready to reclaim our buttons. Off we go, to the first town................the mining market town of Shirebrook!


    Shirebrook (also known in surrounding areas as “shitbrook”) is an old mining town in the middle of nowhere and as such relies on its own infrastructure, as traveling outside shirebrook (unless visiting prison via the panda car taxi) is too expensive as it drains the local benefits which are mostly spent on weed or smack.


    To travel around in shirebrook, the local youth usually travel around in gangs, it is thought gangs are better to hang around in, this way if one of the gang wishes to fight or commit arson/vandalism (which they usually do), they can feel safe in the knowledge that fifteen versus one is a safe number. Some of the older gangs (twelve and over) have saved up enough dole money to piece together a sort of mountain bike bmx mixture which they use to travel around shirbrook more efficiently in circles around town centre at night, looking for trouble because they don’t have a tv or anything else to do.


    Shirebrook used to have a big pub culture, with more pubs than public services, however the towns dole money and constant vandalism and obviously pub hygiene breaches forced most of the pubs to close, however alcohol fuelled violence is still prominent as bargain booze is the most used shop in the town hence most of the lads are pissed on cheap cider, and the local chavets on lambrini. Bargain booze can be found across from the job centre or signing on centre as its locally known.


    Vehicles that pass through this town lock their doors and tie down the external car parts in fear of them being stolen. the locally owned vehicles are usually untaxed, uninsured old knackerd mopeds which the richest shirebrookians use for quick getaways. the local children’s park was predominantly used for jacking up or throwing used condoms or empty beer cans on, and next door a large pub called the swan closed down leaving a vast empty derelict boarded up grafiti eyesore at the entrance to the town (which is still there) tesco was going to get rid of this eyesore and build a store there, but after reviewing the town, tesco discovered the town was far too terrible.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2019
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  5. Falksi Arcane

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    *COMBAT ENSUES*

    No sooner do we arrive at our destination than we are set upon by a local gang of kids!

    [​IMG]

    *COMBAT ENSUES*

    (All combat is played out to this modo-wicked classsic FF tune......)



    Stats:
    STR - 9
    DEX - 9
    CON - 8
    INT - 1
    WIS - 1
    CHA - 2

    Let's beat the shit out of them!
     
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  6. Oracsbox Cipher Shitposter

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    Quick note :After spending extensive time with my follower Princess Heaving breasts-Sandwich'Maker my luck stat has shot up to 20.
     
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  7. Swigen Learned

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    [​IMG]
     
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  8. Falksi Arcane

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    As the gang surrounds us my good PER stat reveals that one of the gang has been entrusted by Dark Underlord to guard a button! Of course, Shirebrook is also known as "Shitbrook", and there it is! The "Shit" button, held by the gang leader!

    Dawkinsfan69 leaps nito action, using his mighty 420 STR stat to make light work of the first gang member, but cocky at his easy victory he takes the next opponent lightly just as his Niggeritus strikes! Boom! A decrease in stats and from hero to zero in a split second and he's skewered by a gangmember's reposte. Token black guy dead in the first fight as is protocol.

    Elizabeth, now turned on by the death of a black man, flashes her tits & distracts the gang members. Grauken cheers us on and with an uplift of moral we all pile in. nikolokolus wades in, laughing of their attacks with his high CON, sorinmask channels his dedicated lawful monkness to beat the little kids to a bloody pulp, Generic-Giant-Spider hits them from the left flank, and karnak's unstopable power ploughs through those remaining. Me & Jacob pick up the stragglers and Oracsbox finds a £20 note.

    There it is! Pryed away from the hand of the gang leader.............the SHIT button!...........[​IMG]

    We pick up the shit, and look for the nearest place to rest...............



    EXP GAINED 150, GOLD GAINED £20

    RIP Dawkinsfan69

    Buttons held [​IMG]
     
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  9. Oracsbox Cipher Shitposter

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    Wait Dawkinsfan69 dead ? NOOOOOOOOOO ![​IMG]
    Can I have his boots ?
     
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  10. Darth Canoli Liturgist

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    Perched on a tree
    From a novel by louis Pergaud in 1912 : "La guerre des boutons"

    First adaptation in 1936 : "La guerre des gosses" by Jacques Daroy and Eugène Deslaw

    [​IMG]

    Second in 1962 : "La guerre des bouttons" by Yves Robert.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
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  11. Falksi Arcane

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    Tired from the fight, we decide to sleep through Sunday.........
     
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  12. Oracsbox Cipher Shitposter

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    In the night I caught a faint smell of lucky heather and freshly laid tarmac I also heard the distant singing of a drunk Irish woman my conclusion is PIKEY'S are near.
     
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  13. Falksi Arcane

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    Motherfuckers. It wouldn't surprise me, there's a gypo camp near shitbrook. We'll rest another day & see what occurs with them the scummy fuckers.........
     
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  14. Oracsbox Cipher Shitposter

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    [​IMG]
    That's a lot of pikey's
     
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  15. Oracsbox Cipher Shitposter

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    or is it ? I don't see much movement
     
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  16. Falksi Arcane

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    Looks like they're either hungover or auditioning for Fallout 5.

    We must be cautious..........
     
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  17. sorinmask Just like Yves, I chase tales. Patron

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    Meanwhile, I adorn the skulls of those innocent children on a string around my waist.

    They have been spared of entropy.
     
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  18. Sigourn Arcane

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    We did it! Time to celebrate by wiggling my fat butt.

    [​IMG]
     
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  19. deama Arbiter

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    Fuck, just when I realised the importance of NOT having buttons!
     
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  20. Oracsbox Cipher Shitposter

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    I was enjoying this,why did they have to bring buttons back before we had finished
    :negative:
     
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  21. Falksi Arcane

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    Ah, the buttons may have returned, but we will always have the memories of our brief, yet exciting adventure........

    Sometimes it's another gang of adventurers who save the world first. That's just how it is. In this case Nano saved the day first, so all that remains if for our merry band to go our own ways, and wait for the next quest.........
     
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