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They Came from Earth!

Discussion in 'Choose Your Own Adventure Land' started by Cheesecake, Dec 21, 2015.

  1. Cheesecake Savant

    Cheesecake
    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2015
    Messages:
    137
    Humanity had reached the pinnacle of evolution. They had arrived at the zenith of technological advancement. They had conquered and colonized every possible home in the galaxy.

    Yet, they were dying.

    The records of how are lost to the eons, but in a blink of an eye the human race was wiped out. Or so we thought.

    This is why we have assembled this Singular search party - to find a sacred data-crypt, and reawaken the progenitor of our species. The last human.

    -----

    DATA CRYPT REACTIVATED

    Searching....

    Files corrupted: 98. Files deleted: 3.

    File found - materializing started. Data-to-organics transfer completed. Organics synthesizers activated. File 006 rebirth started.

    Organic target age: 25. File chronological age: 843,065.

    Biological assessment: success. Mental assessment: memories corrupted.

    Rebirth chamber opening.... Stand clear.

    -----
    Singular Team 3 Logs.

    Day 16: Our team has finally translated the holy control-slate. We are pleased. Grand Brain has begun the rebirth process of humanity. We cannot wait to learn what they know.

    Day 30: Stupid machine is stupid. Take too long. Grand Big is getting impatient. Grand Big eat another grunt. I hope Grand Big not eat me before human wake up. I want see how big human is.

    Month 6, Day 23: Grand Big finally eat me. Eating me as I type. Hope have enough fingers to write letter. Dear mate, I-

    Month 6, Day 24: The great oaf finally ate his last grunt. I've ordered another clutch of Beh-ig grunts and hope they hatch and grow before they reach here. The Grand Bucks is gonna be mad.

    Year 3, Month 1, Day 1: The process is complete. The human is reborn! Today would be marked down in the annals of history forever - if another event hadn't seized the day. The reports have just come in. The Singularity is dead. The Singular is divided. The Arch Brain, Arch Big and Arch Bucks have declared a three-way war.

    This human is our last hope.

    ----

    Through the mist you step, feeling for the first time the cold floor under your feet. Metal, if you remember correctly. Your eyes water as blinding lights dance in front of you, and a cacophony assaults your ears while strange scents overwhelms your nose.

    There's too much happening - and too much that has happened. But what happened? You can't remember. Your memory's there, just not together. Something important. There's something very important.

    "Hey! Are you well?" A monotone drawl becomes clear amid the noise. You can faintly see the outline of a ball floating towards you. Wait. Not a ball. A brain?

    "I'm fine." Your eyes adjust, and your other senses follow suit. "What's happened? Who are you? Are we safe?" Wait, safe? From what? You can't remember.

    "Stay calm," it says, once more in its drawl. "I must perform the medical examination. We do not possess anatomical knowledge of your advanced body, but we will do our best."

    -----

    "Your name?"

    ____

    "Are you a male or female?"

    "Isn't it obvious? I mean, look at it down there!"

    A. Male.
    B. Female.

    After a battery of further tests, they let you rest. You bask in the peace of solitude, your eyes assaulted by aliens. Aliens! Floating brains, walking slabs of muscle, and small robots. All of them tinier than you, like the size of a child. They look so odd, so freakish, yet so familiar....

    Three of them, larger than the rest, approach you. A writhing brain encased in a levitating chair scans you with multiple cybernetic eyes. A (relatively, compared to every other alien) hulking brute stares up at you, equal parts hungry and inspired. A robot begins whirring and beeping.

    A period of silence begins, and after a while you grow impatient. "What the hell is going on?"

    "We are what remains of the Singular, an empire that has fallen mere moments before your birth. Our three races have declared war, but our search party was separated and unaware of the conflict."

    "We not join war. We still fight and eat for Singularity."

    "The Singularity is dead, Grand Big." The robot clanks and whistles. "Projected profit loss -" the robot stops as you hear an internal explosion coming from its head. "Projected profit loss is too great to simulate. I am saddened by this loss of Space Bucks."

    "Get to the point. Where am I?"

    "You are approximately 800,000 years in the future. Your race is extinct. The data-crypt that housed your data-corpse has sadly lost all power giving birth to you. You are all that's left."

    The slab of muscle eyes you. "We need help to reunite the Singular. You do this, I promise many things for eating!"

    "And you will gain a healthy share of the profit, of course."

    You deliberate in your mind for a moment. You decide to:

    A. Accept to help them reunite the Singular, or whatever it is they want.
    B. Decline and go on your own. You never signed up for this.
    C. Decline and go help those muscly aliens. The strong need to rule, and with your size and strength they will definitely win!
    D. Decline and go help the floating brains. They're probably the only ones smart enough who could properly help you.
    E. Decline and go help the robots. They obviously know how to run the economy, and money solves everything!
     
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  2. lightbane Arcane

    lightbane
    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2008
    Messages:
    6,422
    Location:
    Neverwhere
    This CYOA seems promising. We'll see were it goes. Hopefully you'll have more luck/interest with this one, Cheesecake.
    Anyway, my votes:

    Name: John Denton
    Gender: Cisgender attack helicopter Male
    Choices: A.
     
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  3. hello friend Arcane

    hello friend
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2012
    Messages:
    5,268
    Location:
    I'm on an actual spaceship. No joke.
    Name, gender: author's discretion

    A
     
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  4. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2012
    Messages:
    8,747
    Name: X
    Gender: Male
    A
     
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  5. TOME Cuckmaster General

    TOME
    Joined:
    May 25, 2012
    Messages:
    1,819
    Name: Baltika1
    Gender: Female
    B

    No offense bro, but I'm just terrible at names.:troll:
     
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  6. Viata Arcane

    Viata
    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2014
    Messages:
    4,116
    Location:
    Water Play Catarinense
    Name: Jesus
    Gender: Male
    C
     
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  7. ghostdog Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

    ghostdog
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2007
    Messages:
    9,922
    Name: Neanderthal
    Bones: Titanium
    Gender: A - Male.
    B. Decline and go on your own. You never signed up for this.
     
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  8. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2012
    Messages:
    8,747

    Sure, why not.
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2015
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  9. Elfberserker Liturgist

    Elfberserker
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2013
    Messages:
    1,540
    Name: Sephiroth.
    Gender: female
    B

    Lets go galactic wide joy riding
    :happytrollboy:
     
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  10. Cheesecake Savant

    Cheesecake
    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2015
    Messages:
    137
    Votes (open)

    A: lightbane, hello friend, Baltika9,
    B: TOME, ghostdog, Elfbeserker,
    C: Viata,
    D:

    Tiebreaker: A wins.


    "Fine, I'll help you with your Singularity, or whatever it is." The three aliens look overjoyed (at least you assume they are, considering they're a floating brain, walking muscle and a robot).

    "Many thanks to you, Baltika 1. Truly you are as wise as the folktales!" says the Grand Brain.

    "And just as tall and large!" exclaims the Grand Big, who despite towering over the other two, barely reaches above your hips.

    "Hmm. We'll see his economic value soon enough, my fellow Grands. I suggest we begin planning immediately to minimize financial loss."

    The three Grands escort you to their Grand Flagship, the Genesis, and along the way regale you with tales of the eons you have missed. Only a portion seeps through your addled mind, your consciousness bombarded with your own questions. Who were you? Why did they save your bio-data? Why were you the only one whose data wasn't corrupted? And, most importantly, are you alone?

    You halt your thoughts for a moment and gaze upon the Genesis, which compared to humanity's own spacecraft is much smaller. Considering the size of these aliens, however, it must be quite large. You have to duck to enter a few of the doorways. An annoyance. However, the level of technology onboard supersedes your own by quite a stretch.

    "Impressed? I designed the Genesis myself," gloats the Grand Brain.

    "Well I built ship myself!" yells the Grand Big, to the outraged looks from others of his species. "They don't count! Slave labor is considered tool! Like hammer, or fist."

    "And I funded it myself, of course. I just 'collected' dues owed to me by quite a few planetary systems."

    "They owed you nothing," retorts the mass of muscles.

    "They would've owed me eventually," says the Grand Bucks. He walks faster until you all reach the bridge, where thousands of brains supported by mag-lev chairs float about, pressing holographic buttons and buzzing binary sounds into the intercom. The Grand Brain directs you to a large table, where he inserts a device into a slot and activates a holographic simulation of a frozen planetary surface. You see three distinct structures highlighted on the surface of the icy planet.

    A giant crater embedded in a mountainside seems to host a huge nest, containing millions of eggs, cared for by the same walking muscles akin to the Grand Big. A writhing behemoth is chained to the mountains. According to Grand Big, that is the local Mother Big. Captive Brains are being fed to the Mother, while deactivated Buckmakers are torn into scrap to make warmachines.

    Skimming among the clouds is an ever-changing shape, like a gargantuan, mechanical Rubik's cube. According to Grand Brain, it is an ancient AI, from the ancient human civilization. It is a living god to the Brains, as well as a sacrificial altar to itself, using living Bigs as a bio-fuel source, while Buckmakers are taken apart and put together again as twisted robotic monstrosities.

    Strangely, there is no large base for the Buckmakers. Instead you see a flying armada of mercenary cyborgs and genetically modified mutants. According to the Grand Bucks, the Buckmakers disdain direct combat, and utilize cyborgs and mutants for mercenary work.

    -----

    "This is planet Aise, an important manufacturing outpost, with a functional Replicator factory left behind by the humans." You remember Replicators as the reason humanity conquered the galaxy in such a short span of time. Any personal memories, however, are long gone. "Capturing Aise will not only deny the tide of war from shifting drastically to one faction, but also allow us to massively expand our fleet."

    The Grand Big steps in. "But we must be able kill all three within short time. Only reason they at stalemate is because mercenaries are destroying corpses being fed to Mother Big and AI, while AI prevent reinforcements to mercenary troops. Mother Big resorting to cannibalism." The Grand Big shivers. "She is become ouroboros; she give birth to keep self alive, to give birth again to keep self alive again."

    A loud bang and some whirring takes your attention. "In short, you pick your fight, we'll focus on the other two with everything we've got. You go in with an elite crack team. That'll minimize the limited resources we have at our disposal."

    "I don't think I was a soldier. Was I?"

    "No need think about that. You is bigger and stronger than anything. You is our trump card!"

    "Choose wisely, and quickly, Baltika 1! Time is short."

    You decide to attack:

    A. The Mother Big and her nest.
    B. The ancient AI.
    C. The mercenary hub.
    D. Suggest another course of action.

    With a team of:

    A. Psychic Brain-Paladins.
    B. Giant Big-Gladiators.
    C. Expensive Mutated-Cybernetic Bounty Hunters.
    D. An all-rounder team, jack-of-all-trades, master of none.

    Suddenly, with a painful sting coursing throughout your body, you remember a vital moment from your past life. It was:

    A. A life-or-death struggle with an mass-murderer class Automaton. Despite all your elite combat training, it took everything you got, and then some, to take it down.

    B. The unveiling of a brilliant invention you had designed. You vaguely remember receiving harsh criticism after some disaster concerning a mass-murdering Automaton, but you were really proud during the unveiling.

    C. Being the first to receive the newest psycho-cybernetic implants. Granted, in your new body your implants are gone, but the tampering done to your mind seems to have been retained....

    D. Standing trial for committing one of the greatest frauds on your planet, causing millions to lose both their jobs and their lives. You won the case, but were a bit peeved that the judge-bot
    demanded 10,000,000,000 credits as a bribe. No one likes their pocket change taken from them!

    E. Reaching zen after working out the Equation of Life, and beginning your life as a missionary to spread the Proven faith. You don't remember if you succeeded or failed, but you can start again on a new canvas, with new followers!

    ((Kind of long, :P I'm trying to make this a sort of Gulliver's adventures in space, instead of Lilliputians we have aliens!))
     
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  11. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2004
    Messages:
    7,802
    Location:
    Copenhagen, Denmark
    Codex 2012
    ACC
     
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  12. TOME Cuckmaster General

    TOME
    Joined:
    May 25, 2012
    Messages:
    1,819
    BAE
     
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  13. hello friend Arcane

    hello friend
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2012
    Messages:
    5,268
    Location:
    I'm on an actual spaceship. No joke.
    ABC
     
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  14. lightbane Arcane

    lightbane
    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2008
    Messages:
    6,422
    Location:
    Neverwhere
    D: We need more data about what's happening before acting.
    A: Sounds funny.
    E: No idea what it does, but if it's something similar to the Anti-Life Equation, then it is worth it:
    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]
     
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  15. oscar Tacticular Staff

    oscar
    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2008
    Messages:
    7,386
    Location:
    NZ
    ACE
     
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  16. Lambchop19 Arcane Zionist Agent Literally Hitler Batshit Crazy

    Lambchop19
    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2011
    Messages:
    14,768
    Location:
    Die Reichskanzlei
    D - Run away!
    D - Might as well bring someone versitile.
    C - SPACE TRUMP
     
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