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Unkillable Cat's Unpatriotic CCP Mockery Thread (aka WoD got cancelled)

Discussion in 'MMO(RP)G / Online Discussion' started by Zed, Apr 14, 2014.

  1. Unkillable Cat Prestigious Gentleman LEST WE FORGET Patron

    Unkillable Cat
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    Codex 2014 Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy
    I'd be happy if EVE Online would turn into a singularity that would implode on itself, trapping within it all the 'regulars' and Goons for all eternity.

    The world would be a better place, and CCP would get medals all round.
     
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  2. Unkillable Cat Prestigious Gentleman LEST WE FORGET Patron

    Unkillable Cat
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    Codex 2014 Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy
    Small update: One of the best 3rd-party programs for EVE Online has, for years, been EVEMon, a skill management tool allowing players to plan their skill learning from any angle. Want to fly that specific ship? EVEMon can tell you how long that'll take, and in what order the skills must be trained.

    Earlier this week version 3.0 of EVEMon was released, offering a wide array of changes and additions. The day after the lead developer of EVEMon announced he's quitting both EVEMon AND the game.

    This comes shortly after the game had a "free weekend", allowing me to log in my account and take a look at the current state of the game. At this state I'd need to join a n00b corp to get back up to speed with all the changes. But hey, at least my pod is no longer moss green, but a nice shade of blue!
     
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  3. Azrael the cat Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Azrael the cat
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    Weirdly enough, the short-lived (one season) Blade tv series (old HBO one, not the upcoming one) was a better WoD tv show than the WoD tv show.

    It failed because the 'Blade' character was a crappy uncharismatic 'whose that guy that's not Wesley Snipes' random, who was also completely sidelined from the main plot. Vampire clans divided into 'pure vampires' who are born from other pure vampires, are centuries to millenia old, absurdly powerful, and their underlings the 'half-bloods', who are humans turned into vampires - who run all the vampires' companies etc, do all the military work etc. Same initial rules as Blade movies, i.e. getting turned into a vampire makes you evil with bloodlust. Main character investigates the series' Ventrue equivalent clan (they've got all the WoD standards, including a Tremere-equivalent), and gets caught and turned. Blade intercepts her before she feeds, gives her the same drug/replacement blood that he uses, and uses her as his 'inside plant'.

    So far, so dull. But the ventrue-equivalent villain was fucking awesome. It starts becoming clear that he's playing a very very long game against the 'pure vampire' overlords, that he probably knows that the main female lead is a double-agent and is keeping her in place because he wants Blade to be unknowingly on his side. Then late in the piece things start slotting into place - several hundred years back as a human, he defied a local mafia boss who turned out to be a 'pure vampire', his family got turned and he got strung up and left out to die in the desert. Some native american vampire-like creature, a Kuei-jin equivalent, found him, took pity and turned him, and he's spent the past 400 years on a long-term revenge plan to rise up through the vampire ranks (because they all think he's clan ventrue-equivalent, and one of them), all his anti-Blade experiments (trying to create other day-walkers, weapons that will work against Blade, etc) are cover for his developing weapons against the pure-bloods, etc.
     
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  4. Unkillable Cat Prestigious Gentleman LEST WE FORGET Patron

    Unkillable Cat
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    Codex 2014 Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy
    Funny update time:

    So Citadels are a thing now, and people are getting to grips with how they work...and how they're bugged. Among the bugs that have popped up (and may have been squashed since then, I dunno for sure):

    # If you dock your ship in a Citadel, then switch to another ship while in the Citadel, your previous ship will undock and warp to the stargate you last used, all by itself!

    # If you're wanted by the Faction Police and try to hide from them by docking in a Citadel that you built, the Faction Police will attack your Citadel.

    Then I came across a discussion about funny corporation names in EVE Online. Might as well share some of them.

    (The corporation's ticker name, where available, is in brackets.)

    Hold My Beer and Watch This
    Giant Flaming Isopods of Screaming Temporal DOOM
    Baby Seal Cub Clubbing Club (This is a "meme" name, taken from a WoW guild that got disbanded by GMs because it was too offensive)
    Cambodian Midget Fighting League
    Farmers Agricultural Growing Society [FAGS.]
    The Honda Accord
    Fearless [HLMAR]
    My Wife's Son [CUCK]
    Amarr Ackbar

    But the winner must be the corp named "this will end well", made by a EVE player that died in RL not 24 hours after naming that corp. Troll level: Meta.
     
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  5. Vaarna_Aarne Notorious Internet Vandal Patron

    Vaarna_Aarne
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    MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    How did he die?
     
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  6. Norfleet Moderator

    Norfleet
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    Probably murdered by another Eve player to steal his stuff. You know how these people are.
     
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  7. Unkillable Cat Prestigious Gentleman LEST WE FORGET Patron

    Unkillable Cat
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    Codex 2014 Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy
    Sadly I have no info on how the player in question died.

    As for new stuff, a small update is being released today, including a Live Event ripe with Daily Events. Kill X rats, mine Y amount of ore, blablabla to get points that you can cash in to get cool stuff. Among the cool new stuff are faction capital ships which cost from twice as much to five times as much to produce as "standard" comparable capital ships.

    Anyway, patch was deployed this morning...and the Live Events are nowhere to be seen. Turns out that "due to an unforseen problem with the system discovered last night" the Live Events part of the patch has been delayed for a few days.

    Meanwhile, I'm hearing the very persistent rumour that the reason for the delay is both football- and alcohol-shaped...
     
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  8. Unkillable Cat Prestigious Gentleman LEST WE FORGET Patron

    Unkillable Cat
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    Codex 2014 Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy
    Update:

    Some of you have been waiting for this, but iTZ happened: EVE Online now offers a F2P model of playing.



    In short, clones are now split into Alphas and Omegas (should have stuck with Alphas and Betas for all the betacuck memes.) Alpha clones are the free clones, while Omega clones are the regular "subbed" players.

    The F2P model gives you access to the game, but you can only train up to 5 million skillpoints of pre-selected skills, based on which race you select. You will only be able to fly T1 ships up to Cruiser size, and use most (not all) T1 modules and will train at a slower speed than subbed players will. Otherwise you're free to play the game as you wish.

    Once you reach the 5 million skill points no further skills can be trained until you upgrade to an Omega clone. Once your sub expires your clone reverts to an Alpha clone.

    Further limitations may be introduced, as using this to create a legion of gankers is just too obvious of an abuse of this system.

    What this only really does is lower the entry barrier for new players. This may be a good thing for future subscription numbers, but considering CCP has already butchered the playerbase with the Skill Extractors/Injectors, this is in all likelyhood just another step towards the inevitable.
     
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  9. Merkwürdigliebe Arcane

    Merkwürdigliebe
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    Codex null sec frigate swarm gank squad when?
     
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  10. raw GOTT SEGNE EUROPA Patron

    raw
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    PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015
    When EVE stops being boring as fuck.
     
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  11. Beastro Arcane

    Beastro
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    She certainly tries her best to look like one.

    Was that one of the prog servers?

    I play on one, was hilarious seeing people bum rush through it.

    Surprised no ones made a sci-fi novel about MMOs being a honey pot for a police state that trims their populace of sociopaths.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2016
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  12. Unkillable Cat Prestigious Gentleman LEST WE FORGET Patron

    Unkillable Cat
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    Codex 2014 Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy
    What I'm most hearing about CCP these days is the same thing: Iceland is unsustainable for a video game development studio.

    Case in point: Anyone remember the QuizUp app for smartphones? The company behind it, Plain Vanilla, laid off all of its staff and closed its offices today, due to "a unsustainable business scenario".

    A by-the-books digital start-up company that was larger than life for a moment, then became nothing in less than a blink of an eye.

    Frankly it's amazing that CCP has been in business as long as they have.
     
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  13. Unkillable Cat Prestigious Gentleman LEST WE FORGET Patron

    Unkillable Cat
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    Codex 2014 Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy
    Time for a check-up on what's going on at CCP...and there's actually some news:

    # CCP is expanding rather aggresively into consoles and VR. Two PS4 titles are confirmed as being in development, and the Gunjack game is getting a sequel.

    # Next big expansion for EVE Online is due Nov. 8th. Yes, that's the day of the Kwa Presidential Election. Personally, I'd say go out and vote and worry about this game later.

    # Notable elements of the expansion is the inclusion of the aforementioned Alpha/Omega clones, a revamp of the mining ships and new Industrial modules/buildings for your Citadels.

    # One addition that's slipping under the radar a bit is that CCP effectively shuts down all third-party transactions in regards to EVE. This mostly applies to the gambling sites, and two in-game gambling cartels have been BANHAMMÖRED out of the game already, and the rest follows suit on Nov. 8th. One of the guys that got BAMHAMMÖRED was the guy who made the first EVE toon to buy his way to the top of the skill tree, and with him went over 7 TRILLION ISK.

    Then there's also this image of ISK CCP confiscated in 2015 alone.

    [​IMG]

    Yes, that's about 30 trillion ISK in there.

    # Pink SKINs are now available in the game in support of Women's Cancer Research.

    # An old and respected EVE Online player, Xirtam (of VOTF and Curse Alliance fame) passed away recently. I didn't know the guy, but upon watching the video below and hearing the story he tells, I can understand why he's sorely missed:

     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2016
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  14. Unkillable Cat Prestigious Gentleman LEST WE FORGET Patron

    Unkillable Cat
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    Codex 2014 Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy
    A new "big" update was released earlier this week. It was supposed to be released on the 8th, but they postponed it for a week to "address problems".

    They should have stalled it further to avoid this cock-up. This is rivaling the "boot.ini" fiasco of 2007 and hastily approaching the Red Moon Rising-mess where they took the server offline for 3 days without a word to the playerbase. But enough about their past fuck-ups, let's talk about the new ones.

    First they introduced account verification via e-mail, i.e. you must set up an e-mail address with your account before the launcher will let you play. Except on all versions except the English one the launcher refused to accept the e-mail validation. What's worse, some of the accounts playing are linked to e-mail accounts that have been dead for YEARS. So there's a lot of failed e-mail verifications going on. How does CCP Support respond? Not. At. All. Seems that the CCP team just patted themselves on the back for a "successful deployment" and went off to the pub for the day, leaving hundreds (number of players that actually reported issues, true number is easily 10x that) of players hanging as the launcher bans their IPs because they're trying to log in with unverified accounts.

    UNFORTUNATELY, the e-mail verification thing is also tied to Account Management...so anyone wanting to change their e-mail settings (or canceling their subscriptions due to the piss-poor customer support) cannot do so.

    Then they introduced the previously reported "Alpha" and "Omega" clones. "Omega" clones are stated "to be training skills at double the speed" which made some players excited. But what really happened is that CCP lowered what they consider the "standard" rate of training, then claim that "Omega" clones are training at double that speed...which is the old normal training speed!

    Worse than that, players that only log in once in a while discovered that any and all skill training that had been going on since they last logged in mysteriously disappeared, and as of today it has still yet to be fixed. They intend to fix it (once they know how) but from what I'm hearing EVE players will only believe it when they see it.

    Along with all of the above they introduced a "new" character sheet. The old one was simple, practical and WORKED. This one looks very sleek, but finding any useful information is a pain and player biographies get eaten if people bother to look at them.

    Among other "new" features is a completely new voice for AURA, the in-game voice of the game. And it's crap, she sounds like a total bitch.

    And, as usual, except for the vanishing skill training, this patch has numerous bugs and problems that were noticed by players on the test server, but were not fixed before deployment. CCP clearly doesn't have a QA department anymore.

    EDIT: Almost forgot...to add insult to injury, the skill management program EVEMon is now considered dead and abandoned. For over a decade this has been THE third-party program to use with the game...and now its future looks very bleak indeed.
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2016
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  15. hello friend Arcane

    hello friend
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    I'm on an actual spaceship. No joke.
    Ah.... This thread always makes for cathartic reading. Thanks, Unkillable Cat
     
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  16. Beastro Arcane

    Beastro
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    CCP sounds like the MMO version of GWS, fucking up so badly it would be surprising if they weren't doing it deliberately to torment their customer base.
     
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  17. raw GOTT SEGNE EUROPA Patron

    raw
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    Unkillable Cat you are slacking. Shame on you, lazy bum.

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/arti...aid-to-weigh-game-maker-sale-after-approaches
     
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  18. Unkillable Cat Prestigious Gentleman LEST WE FORGET Patron

    Unkillable Cat
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    Codex 2014 Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy
    #1 I'm not trying to run a news service (and failing).

    #2 I wanted to wait until I heard more from local sources.

    #3 I stated a year ago that CCP was likely to come under new management.

    This is all due to three things: CCP spending years restructuring, them having their most profitable month ever by gutting EVE Online, and them finally releasing EVE: Valkyrie. Valkyrie didn't just make it, it's the VR game to play.

    So right now, at this moment, CCP looks to be a company with a bright future, and therefore bids for it were inevitable. It wouldn't surprise me if it got sold - the people running/owning it are probably never gonna get a better chance.
     
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  19. Unkillable Cat Prestigious Gentleman LEST WE FORGET Patron

    Unkillable Cat
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    Codex 2014 Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy
    Haven't looked at EVE Online in a while, but since I did I figured I might give a rundown of silly things CCP has been up to... or at least, what I know. I don't know if it's their greater emphasis on VR games and Reddit (which I don't use), but communication from CCP has dropped sharply in recent months, with very little to show for it.

    But on the EVE front the following things have happened:

    # The first major update to the T3 Cruisers has just been deployed. The T3 Cruisers are probably CCP's most ambitious ships. All ships in EVE have a certain amount of High, Med and Low slots where various gear and weapons can be put in, but beyond that the ships themselves are pretty much set in stone. T3 Cruisers, however, are modular and originally comprised of 5 subsystems that each was supposed to a selection of 5 different components, offering several thousand configuration options before modules and weapons were factored in.

    That was all according to CCP planning, back in 2009. Everyone knows how CCP planning is.

    The game ended up with 3 components for each subsystem (with the fourth component being added in a year later) which led to about four thousand configuration options. These ships were meant to be Jack of All Trades, but quickly rose to be King of All Trades. Now, many many years later, they announce and implement a rebalancing phase where they remove one subsystem and one ship component, leaving T3 Cruisers with 4 subsystems and 3 components, leaving the ships with "only" a couple of thousand configuration options, but with the subsystems so role specific that the real number is somewhere about a dozen or so. Weirdest of all, most viable ship fittings for the T3s are still perfectly good, but they cost more to build now. It seems that the only real change they made was to reduce support for some of the ship parts so to save themselves some work.

    # On that note, remember the Captain's Quarters? CCP's bold, first step into making EVE Online be something more than a ship (spinning) simulator? Well, guess what's being removed from the game next month. Claiming that the Virtual Broomcloset takes too much resources to maintain (as it's based in 7-year old tech) CCP seizes another chance to reduce its workload with little consequences... nowadays, at least. I remember the outrage when it was originally released. CCP had been telling us all about how this was but the first, small step towards "Walking in Stations" which would bring EVE Online closer to other MMOs in term of player interactions... and never amounted to anything. Ho-hum.

    On a related note, CCP is also ditching Twitch Streaming-support for EVE Online, for the same reason that they're ditching the Captain's Quarters - turns out no one uses them.

    # The PLEX system got reworked. PLEX is the in-game currency that can extend your subscription or get you some quick cash. One PLEX equalled 30 days of subscription, so they quickly started rising in value until they hit about 1.3 billion ISK a pop. Then CCP launched its Macrotransaction store, realized how stupid they were and changed it so that it became a Microtransaction store, and then came up with a new in-game currency, AURUM, to handle the store. That's 3 different currencies for one game.

    That was too much for the economists, it seems, so PLEX got changed earlier this year. AURUM got axed and converted into the new PLEX, which is a much smaller unit of currency. To get 30 days of subscription time you now need 500 PLEX. It doesn't take a genius to see what would happen next: With the AURUM stockpiles now being converted into PLEX, the supply/demand ratio went all out of whack, so now 500 units of PLEX sell for close to 1.6 billion ISK... and rising. Many players realize that they simply can't afford to keep their subscriptions up via in-game means, so they're logging off for good.

    # Besides the above three items, CCP has done little more except juggle in-game numbers around and add new ship SKINs in an attempt to look busy... which is exactly what I've been saying they would do for at least the past year, probably longer. They're putting minimal effort into the game. One good example of this is a discussion thread I found on the 2nd generation EVE Forum (they've just unleashed the 3rd generation, which seems to borrow a little too heavily from Reddit) where a player is asking about Heavy Defender Missiles, an in-game item recently added by CCP to try to make Defender Missiles useful. The problem is, they're now useless, they can't be sold or reprocessed, and yet they drop from various in-game enemies. CCP's response? "We changed them once we assigned Defender missiles to be an anti-bomb weapon, and there's a very good reason why you can't reprocess them." Translation? "We Can't Code Properly, but instead of admitting that we'll just make up some bullshit explanation that means that you're stuck with them."

    And on the topic of the forums... the 1st generation forums were nice and usable, but around 2009 CCP decided to upgrade their forums. A beta version was made available of the 2nd generation forum for public use, but a EVE Online veteran quickly figured out how to hack it and seize full control of it. He sent CCP a message saying that the new forums represented a serious security risk and that they should fix it before general release.

    They didn't.

    So he resent his message, and to prove his point he de-modded all the CCP staff on the forums and changed some CCP posts around. CCP's reaction? An "unexplained downtime due to problems" lasting 3 weeks and a lifetime ban for the veteran player, mostly for making CCP look bad. I'm hoping this same shit won't repeat itself for the new forums.

    Meanwhile subscription numbers and 3rd party support continues to fade away. EVEMon at least has found a new home, but another mainstay, EFT (Eve Fitting Tool) has died. Fortunately a new and more powerful utility exists which is still being updated.

    The game celebrates its 15th birthday in May of next year. I think it'll live long enough to get there... but not much further than that.
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2017
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  20. Unkillable Cat Prestigious Gentleman LEST WE FORGET Patron

    Unkillable Cat
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    How could I miss this?

    First reply:

    And it keeps going:

     
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  21. ThisNameIsFree Learned

    ThisNameIsFree
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    "immortalized". Can EVE survive 10 years more at least?
     
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  22. Fedora Master Magister

    Fedora Master
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    15 years and surviving the economic crisis in Iceland seems like a decent run for an MMO, really.
     
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  23. Thane Solus Arcane

    Thane Solus
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    EVE is dead since 2009-2010, not sure what game are you talking about. The last nail was the microtransactions... Now everybody from Goons can be cool, or w/e...
     
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  24. Vrab Educated

    Vrab
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    Is it that bad? I stopped playing seriously in 2011/12, with a few 1 month resubs afterwards. I remember walking in stations outrage, I was mostly worried because if there were things to do inside stations, no one would ever undock again. At least in lowsec. And it was hard to find targets as it was. I was actually glad they gave up on it. But afterwards I heard of the skillpoint extractors and injectors in store, they really lost me there.

    You really think they won't live for much longer than a year? Sad if so, EVE has certainly been the best game I have ever played back in 2006-2011.
     
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  25. Unkillable Cat Prestigious Gentleman LEST WE FORGET Patron

    Unkillable Cat
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    Vrab

    I'll have to confess something first before I can answer your question: After my latest post I resubbed for a month and took a closer look at EVE.

    To give a better answer in detail would be a monstrous wall of text (which may come at a later date) but the tl;dr answer now is that EVE will both never be the same as it was, and it will never be as big as it was during 2009-2011.

    The Skill Extractor/Skill Injector thing was the deathblow. This may lead to the game dying for good one day, but for now it prevents the game from growing like it had up to 2011. Every aspect of EVE can now be resolved by throwing money at it... so if you're wondering how come another Null-Sec war is about to begin, ask yourself this question: Could it be that some of the big Alliance leaders are actually making real-life money off of EVE?
     
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