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"You are a farkin' disgarce. ALL OF YOU!"©Grimwulf. Battle Brothers Legends Mod

Reinhardt

Arcane
Joined
Sep 4, 2015
Messages
29,236
Well, spigot can hit pretty hard. REALLY hard if he hits head. Problem is - he can't hit broad side of the barn without natural 20.
 

Reinhardt

Arcane
Joined
Sep 4, 2015
Messages
29,236

vazha

Arcane
Joined
Aug 24, 2013
Messages
2,063
p.s. there is a typo in the title. Just saying, unless you wanted to give it that unique Kalin-esque feel of course ))
 

Reinhardt

Arcane
Joined
Sep 4, 2015
Messages
29,236
So i've promised you battle and battle we will do. It will be grorious battle full of heroism and retardation. I'm planning to make them shorter in the future, but this time i will not, just to show what i have to deal with...
But first things first. Just because i'm feeling like it -


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There is 3 contracts available in this town. All 3 are 1 skull and all 3 are about violence. First - secure old crypt. Pay is actually decent - 500+ gold - and it makes situation even more suspicious. Bad juju, like Kalin says. Second - destroy bandit camp for 390 coins. And third -

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He doesn't negotiate so it's 50+190 crowns. On plus side - we don't even need to walk.

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There was actually bunch of peasants passing so i hoped they will join and do dirty work for us, but nope

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They have no archers so their only option is to charge. Not like it helps us in any way.

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Everyone miss doggos, until Kalin go and start doing Kalin thing -

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First blood in this LP.

Some more misses later

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First Kompany kill goes to Grimwulf.

IREALLY don't want this guy to come any closer. He's a fucking spearman so counting on him missing any of our bros would be fabulously optimisic. Good thing we have net

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:happytrollboy:


At least not all prolebashers are that speshul

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Go, my boy! Show this stupid mutt everything you've learned in KKK!

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Storyfag stealing Kalin's kill. Succesfully.

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Sukhāvatī being friendly and stuff

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Start of round 2. Looks like bandits have their own spigot -

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POWAH OF THE METAL!

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Spearman attacks good Doctor Azira but miss. And he actually has overwhelm!


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Mustawd is doing ok in round 2 too


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And even Brother Mother Frank made herself useful


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Baud is busy torturing some poor fella with his saw. Sick bastard!


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Kalin doing some Kalin things again.


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Spigot doing some spigot things. Again.


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Master Class from Doctor Azira


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There is some epic pitchfork duel btw(and yes - it's officially round 3 of Spigot-doggo "duel" too)


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At this point enemy is already broken and it's pretty much over.

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Disgusted by spigot's shamefur dispray Kalin walks in

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and 1-shots poor dogoo

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So this is the end of round 3.

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AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS IS FUCKING ROUND 5!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOU STILL CAN'T FINISH ONE FUCKING PEASANT!

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No level ups. I was hoping thug will drop his spear - that would allow some proper tactics, but still better than nothing. We now have enough shovels to arm even spigot.


Kalin got bonaz.

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Everyone's mood improved after winning battle. Except Citizen's - he's still butthurt about his stolen shit.

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Started our first ambition - hire more people.






I'M NOT HAPPY! Basically it was fight of two spigots and our cripple was slightly more luckier. "Случилось чудо, Матушка! Эскадра хуже нашей нашлась!"
 
Last edited:

BrotherFrank

Nouveau Riche
Patron
Joined
Apr 19, 2012
Messages
1,574
With that epic victory over a band of confused hobos and their malnourished dog the prolebashers of BB have already proven themselves more competent then their Df counterparts. For starters the entire company didn’t break and turn tail at first contact leaving kalin all alone so yeah, big improvement in our esprit de corps.
:thumbsup:
 

Reinhardt

Arcane
Joined
Sep 4, 2015
Messages
29,236
With that epic victory over a band of confused hobos and their malnourished dog the prolebashers of BB have already proven themselves more competent then their Df counterparts. For starters the entire company didn’t break and turn tail at first contact leaving kalin all alone so yeah, big improvement in our esprit de corps.
:thumbsup:
It's because almost no one got hit - only Sukhavati. And she actualy has good morale from the start. At one point we was close. And guess who?

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Kalin almost pissed himself just because at one point he was in direct contact with two hobos. And one of them was some fucking BARD!

He's still wavering at the end of battle despite single-handedly killing two enemies and almost killing third.

So yes - all this time we were ONE hit away from

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*pisses herself*

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*pisses himself*

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Pffft. *pisses himself*

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! RUUUUUUUN!

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*run for their lives*
 

Reinhardt

Arcane
Joined
Sep 4, 2015
Messages
29,236
Small update

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I was hoping it's zombies because sometimes you can get nice stuff from them early, but

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Well, at least there's not many and they are small

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Pretty easy and uneventful battle. Only thing worth mentioning is

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Final

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Loot is shit, but at least now we have some early money

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Not enough to hire people and buy fancy stuff, but enough to start rolling.


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:happytrollboy:

At least not all prolebashers are that speshul

:negative:

At least I got a hit in, that's more than Lagole Gon & Spigot

As you can see they both actually scored their first kills(Lagole Gon delivered finishing blow to that fleeing nachzehrer and you missed).
 

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