GAHAHAHA - The Fall of the House of Tanegashima!

[uona]

Somebody should do the Ran route and maybe the monkey route too. 4 rance playthroughs at once

 

[GarfunkeL]

I'm currently going for the Ran-route but I'm already way into it so that's too bad.

GO RANCE GO!

 

[Overweight Manatee]

Bumping for great justice.

 

[StarChaser]

Somebody should do the Ran route and maybe the monkey route too. 4 rance playthroughs at once

I was considering doing a Ran route LP but I prefer leaving that to the elders .

Also, bump.

 

[Reject_666_6]

Could use a new page for the incoming rape. *nudge nudge*

 

[Mrowak]

Could use a new page for the incoming rape. *nudge nudge*

Then we shall all joyously contribute to that agenda.

Edit: As promised, done.

 

[Reject_666_6]

As I said, this update will stretch all the way to the end of turn 8. But now, it's time for turn 3!

Between the turn, we get shown our room. You know what time it is, kids!

Now with that out of the way, allow me to call myself an idiot. I forgot to equip all the cool items I spent my hard-earned points on:

Our beloved Kenshin gets "A Consoletard's Guide to Sieging Castles", which basically gives her initial stat buffs when fighting in castles. Shibata gets the Protection Paper, which makes him start with a guard shikigami. Ran gets the Quick Bug, which gives her +2 Speed - this is so she can unleash her shikigami before she gets blasted, or so she can plant a guard shikigami before the enemy can hit.

Toshii, Ranmaru and Fuuka get +2 Defence, Attack and Intelligence stats, respectively.

Now, here's our proud country as we left it last time.

Disgustingly small, time to expand.

ATTACK!

A pretty easy victory, with almost no casualties because of the guard shikigamis.

I knew I should have listened to my mother and married my brother instead.

...

It was a disturbing suggestion on many levels, I know.

Ok, time to rape Fuuka:

Hey Fuuka, time to rape you!

But the prophecy says that you must conquer three countries before I can be yours!

wat

No rape, Rance.

How do you even remember that "prophecy"? I thought you had AMNESIA.

wat

Can I at least rape you?

No, why would you want to do that?

Rape is the only answer!

After this turn, we get counter-attacked by Hara so it's time to defend!

Lol, no front row. That's pretty retarded.

New turn! My strategy for conquering is to whittle each province down every turn, while defending every counter-attack, then striking the killing blow in one turn to take the province. You don't even have to defend after that, because there are no penalties for having an enemy conquer part of your provinces.

BLOOD AND THUNDER!

VICTORY AT SEA!

I'm sorry, Aki, but Oda has defeated us!

Speak for yourself! I've decided to break up with you and desert to the Oda clan.

Why you double-crossing, two-timing...

Guards, take him away!

Sure, boss, but I'm still mad at you.

You said you'd let me go if I let you come in here unopposed!

Gahahaha, I think "come" was a poor choice of words!

This guy's pretty funny.

OK, RAEP TIME!!!

For our last fan, it's time for a post-coital Botan hunt. (forgot to take screens of this one)

----------------------- Between the turn -----------------------

It has been brought to my attention that Rance has raped my sister.

Yeah, I know. I just told you a minute ago.

Regardless, we must take action. We should declare war on Oda!

Jesus fuck, stop stealing my ideas!

Let's make this war quick. First, we shall use a covert action and stop them from taking action this turn.

Now it's time to attack!

Useless fucker.

MOAR ATTACKS!

Meanwhile... certain someone joins our win team.

Fatality!

Was a hard battle, btw, but a double nuke from our two diviners crushed them well.

This foreigner is getting on my nerves! Ikkyu, summon an assassin to take care of this meddling Rance.

All I found was an archer, sir.

We're all doomed! Baby meat by February!

With all due respect, sir, I believe I can take this Rance character out!

ULTIMATE DOOM


One day later...

Blow job reward:

We should celebrate this victory, Rance.

Sure. What did you have in mind?

Well, I was thinking you and me could...

Let's go on a Botan hunt!

GAHAHAHAHAHA

*forever alone*

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

We're all doomed! Baby meat by February!

With all due respect, sir, I believe I can take this Rance character out!

ULTIMATE DOOM

Damn, we totally need that as an avatar for Cleve, like we did with Cloaked Figure and that strange thingie.

*forever alone*

Awwwwww.

 

[Crooked Bee]

*forever alone*

Awwwwww.

 

[Cenobyte]

Hehe, Kou-chan certainly has a talent to disrupt our two lovebirds :D

 

[laclongquan]

hehe, this is fun. The urge to replay is rising, though squash-able.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Hahaha, good update, keep it up!

 

[Reject_666_6]

Merry Christmas, guise.

There won't be any updates for this year cause I won't be posting from home. Hopefully, Mrowak will keep you sated until I return.

 

[Digital Monocle]

Thanks to the multiple LPs, I decided to play this game and see how great it is. Keep up the good work guys!

 

[GarfunkeL]

Updatan? It is very close to New Year already...

 

[Reject_666_6]

Just got home, so I'll start working on an update, but I need a new page first.

EDIT: Nobody wants to new page?

*forever alone*

 

[Fafnir]

Bump Bump
Keep up the good work!

 

[Mrowak]

Bump. bump, bump

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Bumpety bump

 

[Crooked Bee]

Next page's so close I can feel it.

 

[lightbane]

So where's the rape??

 

[Reject_666_6]

-------------------------------------- OMG AN UPDATED ----------------------------------------

Hey, Reject, it's about time you continue this LP, you lazy piece of shit.

Great Reject say: Kou Psycho-chan is fortunate that her interests coincide with mine this time.

And it better be good, or tomorrow's breakfast will be your last.


So, anyway, as we last left our heroes, they were trapped in a state of momentary retardation:

Nyaaaaaaa, I haven't even said one line in this stupid LP.

Blame the poor writing.

Wait, who the hell are you!!?!?

Oh, right, I was never introduced. Later, guys.

GAHAHAHAHA Genre savvy characters are the best form of comedy!!!

So, what do we do now, you ask? Well, I need to raise Rance's stats to 6 as soon as possible, with the exception of Speed. To do this, we must first ransack all nearby Oda provinces for gold and books.

Unfortunately, I get too many Attack books, so Daidouji gets to benefit from Japanese education as well.

YES WE CAN!

Duuude, I can totally understand this weird Japanese music now...

Hey, it's that weirdo again.

WTF is he doing on the ground there?

I think he's sniffing glue from that broken gourd. Hey douchebag, that was a priceless family heirloom you just broke!

Hey, GTFO of my castle you goddamned hippie scum.

Laaaaame, bros...




Second order of business during peacetime: to get Suzume's affection level up to gain her ultimate ability.

And to accomplish this, sacrifices must be made.

BEHOLD THE POWER OF DUNGEON SCOUT!!

Come to think of it, I'm feeling pretty satisfied with my life! I haven't even used a single internet acronym in this line yet! I think I'll recruit this old guy, lol.

But, unbeknownst to our unfortunate protagonist, a storm was approaching. The great leader in the sky decided to buy as many soldiers as he could, given the limited resources and manpower available. Soon, this situation will have to be improved or the Rancian Empire will fall fast to the rabbit-like masses of the foreign countries.

Will Rance meet the same fate as the noble Neanderthals, outbred by der Üntermenschen?

Time to make our move.

Lord, our Eastern borders are being penetrated by the filthy Xenos of the Oda clan.

Then let them be purged by Holy Gunpowder! Give them not an inch!

-------------------------------------- WAAAAAAAAAGH!!! ----------------------------------------

Round 1:

Haha, a few fast Guard Shikigamis will thwart these riflemen before they can decimate me.

Their initial assault shattered our border divisions completely.

Give them no respite! Order an immediate deep-strike of Death-Cult Assassins at their location!

That wasn't so hard.


I then use a covert action to murder 4000 of their troops. This number is spread out randomly through all the enemy's troops, so if I get lucky I'll be fighting wounded armies the next few fights. Time to defend:

Round 2:

Another defense:

Lord Tanegashima, these Xenos are blessed with an unholy strength. No matter how many brave troops we throw against them, they will not give!.

This game has gone on for long enough... Battle-Sister Yuzu, order an immediate Exterminatus on these foul abominations.

Kou-hime, our entire occupying force in the second province has been decimated in one blinding flash.

So how the heck did you survive?

I was wearing these sun-glasses at the time.

*ba-dum tish*

I've taken the liberty of leaking a sex-tape of me and Lord Tanegashima and stuffies. That should keep them occupied for a few turns while we crush them, nya!

I did what I had to do for the future of the chapter! Her gene-seed was of prime quality!


Covert actions are one of the best ways to deliver a swift victory against a house you're at war with, provided you get lucky and get the Political Turmoil effect before it starts costing 27 Search or more.

Round 3:

Round 4:

This sucks as a hentai game - there's just too much combat.

I suppose the game you're from is better?

It's better for the Codex! First person to guess what game I'm from gets a cameo appearance some time during the next few updates.


And now for something totally non-sequitur!

Final Round:

I guess they failed the Emperor or something? Can't think of any 40k jokes to make here. Comedy doesn't grow on trees, people!

I'm a fucking sword! Get it? Get it?!!?


...

And so, we end this majestic update with some national power increases. Yay!

 

[Reject_666_6]

Just a bump.

 

[Cenobyte]

You can never have enough Rance

 

[spekkio]