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Skyrim blind LP AKA A Tale of a Cowardly Breton

baronjohn

Cipher
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,383
Location
USA
Ok, time to show off this nextgen Bethesda game. I haven't played it before obviously, so this is going to be blind, and will also serve as a kind of a review.

My first impression is that it's somewhere between Morrowind and Oblivion in quality. It hasn't quite got the aesthetic charm of Morrowind, but it is way better than Oblivion. Not that says much. Fermented cat turds are better than Oblivion.

I will give it a fair chance, of course. I've been genuinely looking forward to playing it.

There are some obvious flaws with this game: the movement is way too fast (compared to Morrowind), the menu stinks, the voice acting is bad, it has health regen (about 1 point per second or so).

We'll be playing a female Breton focusing on illusion and conjugation who won't be fighting at all. We'll leave that up to companions or summons.

This is all on Master difficulty of course.

Is this resolution OK? I am playing in 1650x1080 and resizing to 70%.

Anyway, let us begin

The menu is promising.
1p5fB.png


The loading screens are cool too. They display 3D models that you can rotate with the mouse
LQZzm.png


At the start we find ourselves on a prisoner cart. It appears we've been captured by the empire, as always. We share the cart with a stormcloak soldier, a horse thief and the one and only Ulfric Stormcloak, the jark of Windhelm, who has been leading a rebellion against the decaying empire.
Nv0MA.jpg


That means we're probably begin led to an execution. Oh dear...
2nt5l.jpg


Fucking nords, always so eager to die.
Lh5Mq.jpg


The horse thief tries to run away but gets cut down by the archers.
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Anyway, I'm going to play a woman because it's less gay option.
ROi4a.jpg


One of the war paints
1rfLm.jpg


Well, shit, I'm not even on the list but they're going to kill me anyway
5FXoq.jpg


So this Ulfric fellow used a dragon shout to kill the King. Interesting.
Qhcg9.jpg


Some more history
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The soldier goes first,
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When it's our turn, a wild deus ex machina appears
TMxQN.jpg


The dragon uses weather control magic to turn the sky to overcast, eliciting moans from all the guards
QNgbI.jpg


Time to run
MaXho.jpg


Running through some super exciting scripted events where we can't actually be hurt or anything. Exciting.
7yQq3.jpg


Anyway, a minute later we get inside a building. You can choose a side here - either empire or stormcloaks. I went with the stormcloaks because, well, the empire just tried to fucking behead me.
T4mba.jpg


Bretons start out with some spells. It doesn't matter right now since our companion is immortal and will kill everything.
4a3GY.jpg


I finally conquered the retarded consoleshit UI and summoned a familiar.
JPy0p.jpg


I'm going to install nude mods as soon as they're made
b6kpx.jpg


Anyway some more effortless dungeon crawling
LHXv2.jpg


The lightning is impressive
FQDDg.jpg


Books -
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More effortless dungeon crawling
OBEnU.jpg


4A4Ui.jpg


Woo!
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Wealth beyond measure, outlander.

I have a novice robe and hood equipped, which gives me 50% faster magicka regen and 30 more magicka, respectively.
7v7vc.jpg
 

spekkio

Arcane
Joined
Sep 16, 2009
Messages
8,278
FOV is shit. Environmental textures look like shit. UI is shit.

:thumbsup:
 
Joined
Feb 19, 2011
Messages
385
spekkio said:
FOV is shit. Environmental textures look like shit. UI is shit.

:thumbsup:

But I'm sure the challenging gameplay and engrossing story will make up for it.

I was thinking about doing a joke LP of this, but after looking at it, I think the joke speaks for itself.

Maybe I'll LP the RPG of the year, which of course would be Saint's Row 3.
 

Crooked Bee

(no longer) a wide-wandering bee
Patron
Joined
Jan 27, 2010
Messages
15,048
Location
In quarantine
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baronjohn said:

The fuck? I also started the game with a female Breton, but I was accompanied by a different dude (one in Imperial armour). And he told me about his uncle, not his sister, who is the blacksmith, not runs the mill, in Riverwood. :lol: Radiant Storytelling in action!
 

SCO

Arcane
In My Safe Space
Joined
Feb 3, 2009
Messages
16,320
Shadorwun: Hong Kong
Truly the radiant biforked-rejoining list of the critical path is like the yin-yang of TES.
 

sea

inXile Entertainment
Developer
Joined
May 3, 2011
Messages
5,698
Crooked Bee said:
The fuck? I also started the game with a female Breton, but I was accompanied by a different dude (one in Imperial armour). And he told me about his uncle, not his sister, who is the blacksmith, not runs the mill, in Riverwood. :lol: Radiant Storytelling in action!
I'm pretty sure that you have a choice in who to follow at the beginning, either the Imperial or Nord, which likely has some minor influence in how the rest of the story (conflict between Stormcloaks and the Empire) plays out.
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,156
Wow, that was fast. Good choice baronjohn, my only complain is that for some reason the images show up way too big for me.

1rfLm.jpg


:lol: :lol: So that's what a nextgen consoletard thinks by "war paint"?

By the way, does it use some sort of DRM shit like Steamworks or something?
 

baronjohn

Cipher
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,383
Location
USA
Anyway, we arrive at Riverwood.
7YrXi.jpg


Oh, wow. A semi-normal face in a Bethesda game. This is truly the end of times.
Swfwg.jpg


Anyway this chick tells us that the jarl of Whiterun must be warned of the dragon, but she doesn't seem all that upset since she just continues working...
3VgGz.jpg


The local merchant had a curious object stolen and needs it recovered. Oh well, seeing as I'm broke and in no hurry to visit the jarl who is the empire's bitch, I guess I can make some money.
OLh0o.jpg


His sister leads us to the bridge.
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The running water in Skyrim is really nice. Probably the nicest ever. Nicer than Crysis
DrxBc.jpg


Ohh shit, there's even ants
5UA6d.jpg


Anyway, a bit up the mountain the wonderful summer ends and winter begins. My level 1 character with the novice summon has some trouble on master difficulty, but not much.
X01WW.jpg


These guys are a bit harder even. I started using some destruction magic on them because they killed the familiar way too quickly.
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This is... I'm not really sure, but the arrow says go in, so I go in.
UmU7V.jpg


Nice atmosphere
MB9aS.jpg


The bandits are once again no match for my summon
Mdslh.jpg


This is a trap and a puzzle. You have to turn the stones on the left so they're in the same order as the stones in the middle, otherwise using the lever results in a quick death.
Tytbp.jpg


A bit later, we find a boss spider, which takes like five minutes to kill and hits like a horse.
7Q7LU.jpg


This elf has the claw. When you cut him loose, he runs. If you let him he will wake up some undead, but luckily I had just enough magicka to burn him to death
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Time to level up. This is what has become of one of the most elaborate character systems in CRPGs ever. What a shame.
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More insta-death traps
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I sneak past all the undead, because I don't feel like fighting.
TjIFe.jpg


Time to leave the tombs(?)
Sle2R.jpg


and enter the caves
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Isn't this a nice waterfall?
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This undead is unavoidable, and also quite strong.
1Fyz1.jpg


There are three undead in here and a trap behind me. I lead them all into it.
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Another puzzle. You have to align the rings into the same pattern as is on the claw
0Uvlq.jpg


The final room
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Approaching the altar(?) gives you a power, but you can't use it because you don't have a dragon's soul yet
bLrww.jpg


A superstrong undead is summoned. I could just run but I fight him by jumping between the high ground
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We're done and out of there
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I chase a rabbit at night, half naked in furry boots and gloves
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Going for a swim, I find some sort of tiny ruin underwater with a bit of loot
UvvEU.jpg


A bit further on the riverbank I find a hunter and her camp. She saw an animal and chased after it when I approached, giving me an opportunity to steal some more loot
IZlzU.jpg


The merchant is pleased
IRo9L.jpg


I buy some of his spell books. Unfortunately he doesn't have invisibility, which I'd really like.
Refu9.jpg


Some nice robes too, although I can't really justify buying it
GKKi6.jpg


In the morning we visit our friend again
VnJj0.jpg


She tells us some more about Skyrim high politics. I'm not really interested though.
4mP1S.jpg


Time to go to Whiterun. Again, really nice fog effect here.
4jvHH.jpg


Some more water
MglCp.jpg


The weather changes as I approach
TB3GB.jpg


The town is closed, but I tell the guard that I carry a warning from Riverwood and he lets me in.
SP5Tg.jpg


Welcome to Whiterun, more shitty unimaginative European shit. This is nothing compared to Balmora or Ald-ruhn.
Ho2Lo.jpg


Next: ... I have no idea. I was thinking about buying a house, finding a waifu and settling down, but I'm taking suggestions.
 

baronjohn

Cipher
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,383
Location
USA
lightbane said:
Wow, that was fast. Good choice baronjohn, my only complain is that for some reason the images show up way too big for me.
Too big? Like is it some sort of bug or are the images just too big?
lightbane said:
:lol: :lol: So that's what a nextgen consoletard thinks by "war paint"?
Yeah that is a bizarre one. Makes her look like she got slapped or something.
lightbane said:
By the way, does it use some sort of DRM shit like Steamworks or something?
Most versions use Steam. The superior piratebay edition of course doesn't have DRM.
 

Erebus

Arcane
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
4,763
Why were we a prisoner at the beginning of the game, exactly ?

1rfLm.jpg


Say no to violence against fictional women who want to be dragons !

I see the game allows you to determine the amount of dirt covering your face and even its color. Is it something you can later change or do we have to assume that the PC is never going to take a bath and that the dirt is too deeply-incrusted to be washed away by the rain ?

CLjcf.jpg


Huh. I wonder how long it will take for this pic to turn up on g.e-hentai ?
 

Cynic

Arcane
Joined
Feb 22, 2011
Messages
1,850
I hate first person. How shit is the 3rd person view? Is it as shit as Oblivion? Because that was fucking shitty.
 

sea

inXile Entertainment
Developer
Joined
May 3, 2011
Messages
5,698
I've got to say that, with the PC version's resolution boost, the atmosphere in this game really is incredible in places. This might be the first Bethesda game where the technology really does match their artistic ambitions.

I mean, still derpy as hell (nice dialogue options, "Grr, let me in or else!!1") but it sure is nice to look at.
 

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