Angry Joe: Skyrim is MAJESTIC! Matt Barton: Skyrim is boring

[Luzur]

he praises Bethesdas game to us while jerking to it?

 

[Oriebam]

he praises Bethesdas game to us while jerking to it?

thing is , "we" also jerk to it... and I mean literally

I'm sure the prestigious poster known as sgc_meltdown will enlighten you next time he posts at the best thread ever

 

[Xor]

Why does everything on the codex always come back to cocks

Sig material.

 

[Multi-headed Cow]

Why does everything on the codex always come back to cocks

We know what we like. Nohomo.

 

[Multi-headed Cow]

Just read through the Matt Barton posts. Sounds like a decent chunk of his problems stem both from him playing the 360 version (Longer loading times, fucking with menus instead of assigning spells/weapons to number keys) and from playing it too much like a packrat (Talking about carrying 100 potatoes and searching every pot and vase). You start looting everything in the BEGINNING, but once you learn that baskets and barrels never have anything worthwhile, do you really want to spend hours searching every one in the off chance that one barrel in the game has a magic item in it? God no, you just stop looting the fuckers.
He also mentions dreading finding loot since that will force him to do the inventory shuffle and drop shit to make room. Again, sell some shit. Load shit on your companion. Stash shit in your house/lair/whatever. You have a minimum carrying capacity of 300 in Skyrim which allows a ridiculously generous amount of packratting with no spells/enchantments/stat boosts (Before Skyway says WHAT STATS, increasing stamina during level up also increases your carrying capacity) to aid it.
Then he glosses over some of the more important aspects of the game by just calling the combat tedious instead of going in to why he didn't like it, and apparently didn't like the exploration since the dungeons were too dark (?).
If he was a Codexer I'd say he was fishing for KKKs.

 

[Metro]

Re: Angry Joe: Skyrim is MAJESTIC! Matt Barton: Skyrim is bo

To balance it out, here is Matt "Matt Chat" Barton's opinion:

http://www.armchairarcade.com/neo/node/4413

...on my 360 version.

Really, Matt? Really?

 

[Johannes]

Angry Joe might not be the brightest kid on the block but damn, it really is entertaining in a way to watch him, he's like a sketch character pretty much.

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

They still have loading screens in Skyrim and even for tiny huts? What the fuck? 1993 called. It wants its game back.
And 3 fucking voice actors for 90% of characters?

 

[commie]

They still have loading screens in Skyrim and even for tiny huts? What the fuck? 1993 called. It wants its game back.
And 3 fucking voice actors for 90% of characters?

Well of course. They'll be using Fagbryo with a new coat of paint for decades to come. Why bother upgrading when everyone still calls the graphics and world MAJESTIC?

 

[ksjav]

If he was a Codexer I'd say he was fishing for KKKs.

Overall, I give Skyrim a C-. Not a failure or bomb; just mediocre like Oblivion. Indeed, I'd give Morrowind a B+ and Daggerfall an A to give you a comparison.

Stopped reading there. If you watched his videos, than you know that he did a "retrospective" on Daggerfall recently (playing it for the first time at that as well) and he couldn't really handle the starter dungeon, whining about the game along the way, and barely had any positives to say about it, now it's suddenly a solid A? Most likely he never even played Morrowind, but it's an older game, bros old games are awesome. KKK-- for doing a Skyway there Matt.

P.S: So I've read some more comments, and some of his main gripes are that alchemy and enchanting require stationary workstations that he has trouble finding? And that the game rips off WoW? Well we know Matt is a WoW fan and apparently never played any of the Gothics, but seriously? The game has some serious faults in balancing (which would be my main gripes abuot it) and he bitches about small annoyances, WHILE GIVING DAGGERFALL AN A.

Where's the friggin' door to this place??? Oh, missed that little corridor. Probably because it's so dark in here...better cast candlelight. Pause...go into magic menu...greesashghsghs

You, Matt, are one of the reasons dungeons have been made mostly linear and you still can't find the door? Well apart from quest markers that can optionally float in the world and not only the compass you can always cast clarovoyance, which will draw you a line to walk on

 

[jancobblepot]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka3EzZbUCYw

What's your favorite Elder Scrolls game?

Are you asking me? Morrowind.

 

[Davaris]

Stopped reading there. If you watched his videos, than you know that he did a "retrospective" on Daggerfall recently (playing it for the first time at that as well) and he couldn't really handle the starter dungeon, whining about the game along the way, and barely had any positives to say about it, now it's suddenly a solid A? Most likely he never even played Morrowind, but it's an older game, bros old games are awesome. KKK-- for doing a Skyway there Matt.

Go to 20.30 of that video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka3EzZbUCYw

He says he hopes he isn't making the game look bad, because he quite enjoys it. He also uses awesome to describe its technical achievement a little later on.

 

[ksjav]

What's your favorite Elder Scrolls game?

Are you asking me? Morrowind.

I'd give Morrowind a B+ and Daggerfall an A to give you a comparison.

case in point

He says he hopes he isn't making the game look bad, because he quite enjoys it.

He probably thought he wouldn't look as hardcore if he didn't like an old game. 20 minutes of bashing the game, and then BROS A+++. How is that different from modern "gaming journalism"?

I gave Matt the benefit of the doubt after he praised WoW and DA, but afterwards was all edgy on them on his blog thing. But he has done this thing so many times now, that it's quite evident by now that he plays the same game Skyway does.

 

[Admiral jimbob]

He can prefer Morrowind while acknowledging that it's not really as good a game as Daggerfall. I'm the same, I simply couldn't justify giving it a better score, but I do like it more.

 

[Jeff Graw]

Overall, I give Skyrim a C-. Not a failure or bomb; just mediocre like Oblivion. Indeed, I'd give Morrowind a B+ and Daggerfall an A to give you a comparison. This game is a big case of "they could've done better" all the way through. The problem here is quantity over quality. I would have been happier with 50% of less content if it meant an increase of even 10% in variety and creativity.

I love Daggerfall as much as they next guy, but if his primary complaint with Skyrim is quantity over quality, then why would he give an A to a game that has the same problem but 1000x worse?

 

[Commissar Draco]

Now that the player is free, they will spend the next 400 hours robbing people, killing villagers, crafting sexual items, fornicate with elves

fornicate with elves



And angry Joe is kind of but still fun to watch... just like Skyrim is.

 

[ortucis]

Seriously, is that Christwire thing legit?

EDIT: It's pretty impressive how many different ways they have of describing cocks and assholes in that article alone.

The graphics of this game are way too realistic for the type of blood shed they ejaculate all over the player’s CPU monitor.

When a player casts a spell, you will see the hand gesture is that of how homosexuals fling devil DNA juices at each other after a long night of fecal frenzy ass assassinations. This is subliminally teaching your children that they need to go in their rooms, demon whack their sin staff and produce sin milk into their hands and than fling it in the face of the first person they come in contact with after their taint tugging session.

Once they player has finish killing all the people in Skyrim, his final battle is to have a mass dragon orgy with his fellow homosexual warriors he meets on his way and all take turns impregnating the dragon with homosexual dragon eggs. Once the dragon has been backdoor feasted, the player must kill it. The dragon needs to be killed, so the spirit of death and gayness can enter the new eggs and reek havoc onto the rest of the world. This new destruction will be playable in the next Skyrim saga.

SKYRIM LINGO: DOVAHKIIN – Is the supposed citizens of Skyrim, but is a code word that means:
D – Dirty
O – Orifice
V – Violation
A – Always
H – Hurts
K – Keep
I – Injecting
I – It
N – Naiant

 

[ZbojLamignat]

Sorry if someone is in manlove with that Matt guy, but judging by his articles and videos in which he gives actual opinions about games (especially the top best and worst crpgs) - isn't he basically one of the "I'm more than 25 and I really want to be perceived as a computer games connoisseur" types? You know, people who think that games like BG and KotOR (obligatory 7 times joke) are the best crpgs ever, but they also feel obliged to try older rpgs and say good things about them despite the fact that don't really enjoy them?

It's not that he isn't right at times, but his opinions really seem to be uttered in line with his internet character and not his actual beliefs.

 

[Luzur]

i like the interviews he does, but thats about it.

 

[Rivmusique]

Best lines? Surely the angry spic has said something memorable praising this majestic game

"Bethesda has created the penultimate Western RPG!" - angry joe

People listen to this guy? On purpose?

 

[Serious_Business]

That shit is still hilarious

 

[RK47]

It's like viagra to the codex raging cock. I can feel a tinge of rage building up already when I see that pic.

Those teeth.....GUUUHHHHHH.

 

[Daemongar]

I've never seen so many horrible attempts at lampooning.

That web site references their "Skyrim" story 16+ times on their home page, and not in the twitter section. They must be proud of that story, or fishing for Google hits.

 

[Black]

 

[Wyrmlord]

This is a much better Skyrim review.

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim ... maneuvers/

I liked this part:

What is Skyrim?
If you are a responsible parent, then the world of MMORPG first person shooters should be something of a foreign language to you.

Skyrim an MMORPG FPS? Hahahaha.