“Hugh Hungerford was slim and saturnine, long-legged, long-faced, clad in faded finery. Weber was short and muscular, with spiders tatooed across his head and chest and arms. Red-faced Orson Stone claimed to be a knight, as did Lanky Lucifer Long. Will of the Woods leered at her even as he took a knee. Dick Straw had cornflower-blue eyes, hair as white as flax, and an unsettling smile. Ginger Jack's face was hidden behind a bristly orange beard, and his speech was unintelligible. Greenguts was huge and bald as a stone, with arms thick enough to rival even Strong Belwas. Gerrold was a lean, tall youth with sun streaks in his hair and laughing blue-green eyes. That smile has won may a maiden's heart, I'll wager. His cloak was made of soft brown wool lined with sandsilk, a goodly garment. Frog, the squire, was the youngest of the three, and the least impressive, a solemn, stocky lad, brown of hair and eye. His face was squarish, with a high forehead, heavy jaw, and broad nose. The stubble on his cheeks and chin made him look like a boy trying to grow his first beard.”
. Pages and pages of food descriptions, phrases repeated ad nauseum (broke fast, must needs, words are wind, kissed by fire) increased vulgarization, total change in important characters' personality (especially Daenerys, who devolved from a competent leader into a horny teenage girl, followed by Tyrion, who became comic relief, Jon Snow who was struck by a retard ray in the last chapter in order to provide a feebly constructed cliffhanger), an out of place and out of context Jaime chapter (another shitty cliffhanger), essentially nothing happening in the book (turtles!!!) until final chapters, which all end on cliffhangers,... And the worst thing, adding more useless POVs and characters that have absolutely no connection to previous books? Baby Aegon alive? Really? Could be a fake, which would change it from abysmally retarded to just stupid. Greyscale? Turtles (again)? 
