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In Progress Let's See the World Die. Dominions 4.

Ashery

Prophet
Joined
May 24, 2008
Messages
1,337
As long as he still has some priests alive to call the pretender god back, it's not game over.
Might as well be in this case though, as it means the loss of almost all his military.

Worse yet, it means BoT gets dispelled, and that's the keystone for Grimwulf's strategy.
 

Valescere

Literate
Joined
Dec 20, 2014
Messages
8
Grimwulf himself fights at our side! Our best hopes for victory, the bulk of his army and his world aging magic ride on this battle. I will not run!
 

Dreaad

Arcane
Joined
Apr 18, 2013
Messages
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Location
Deep in your subconscious mind spreading lies.
Healthy, fat, and happy. Want to be fabulized too? Then join our ranks today!

I will join, I don't mind being whatever you need, HOWEVER first chance you get I must be equipped with 2 shields and a lightning bolt helmet!
aZgiCmN.png
 

Grimwulf

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SO BE IT! We stay, and we fight!

Just to be sure: There is no running from a battle like that, right? If we lose, everyone dies by default?

Yep. It's impossible to escape during castle defence. But if someone escapes during battle and we end up winning it - then escaped unit/commander survives. I don't think any Vanir's gonna escape from bidrdmen - our morale is too gud for them to break. Even Grumpy is brave this day (coz he's drunk as ffucks).

I will join, I don't mind being whatever you need, HOWEVER first chance you get I must be equipped with 2 shields and a lightning bolt helmet!

You made me laugh hard. Ok, I'll make it happen. Spirit Helmet is in Constr 6, but it won't be too long before I research it. If I survive this turn, that is.
 

Grimwulf

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What is the story behind that...?

Dual shields is Dark Souls local meme, you may look it up on youtube.

As for Dominions, it's just fun. Imagine something big and dreadful, donning heavy armor and dual-wielding tower shields.



This way he'll be hard to take down and have three lightning attacks every turn (two from Scutata's that work only at point-blank, one from Spirit Helmet that has range 35).

I know that Scutata's lightning res bonuses don't stack, lizzurds.

It's not effective or even halfway sane, but it's totally in the spirit of this LP.
 

Dreaad

Arcane
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Deep in your subconscious mind spreading lies.
^ what he said. While you can make a thug or super combatant in such a manner, there really is better ways.

I do actually recall loosing one game though, back in Dominions 3, when I got spammed by Poison Golems equipped with spirit helms (free lightning bolt per turn), 2 dancing tridents (misc slot item that attacks for you), vine shield (entangles people who attack), eye burning shield (blinds people permanently when they attack), rainbow armor (increases magic resistance and is decent armor), flying shoes (lets wielder fly). Probably got some item names wrong but whatever.
Extremely frustrating to deal with overall because they had large hp, huge protection, could fly around making them unpredictable and were constructs so they didn't get tired which means it's even harder for any form of troops to do anything and they have decent-ish elemental resistances. Last but not least poison golems have this affect where the province they are in and anyone in battle with them simply receives afflictions at random until they become drooling one armed cripples, which means all the anti thugs you send out to deal with them become useless straight after the battle.

These days I would just make hit squads of cheap commanders with heart piercer crossbows and eye of aiming implants or something. Back then I threw away my own thugs to hold back the golems, trying desperately to keep those plague spreading bastards out of my high population provinces.
 

Grimwulf

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They are coming.

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HELGATE: THE LAST STAND

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Brace yourselves.

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This time our side makes the first move, because we are the ones who's holding the ground.

Shooting towers didn’t do any damage at all.

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The buffing begins. Air Shield is essential when fighting that many archers.

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Crispy lands Legions of Steel rather precisely.

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First turn buffing gradually comes to an end.

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Archers make their shots. Time to show those noobz from shooting towers how it’s done.

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Valescere misses; ArtB one-shots a lizard warrior.

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Gaya summons lesser air elemental that attacks our provokers immediately.

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Enemy archers didn’t fire any arrows this turn, for some reason. Except for few. Including Martiya.

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No luck this time. By the way, what I didn’t say about Thunder Bow (but it’s stated in the description), that not only it delivers direct lightning damage on hit, but also summons additional lightning bolt on square it strikes. This time Martiya missed.

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Enemy non-flying infantry moved a bit closer, along with non-flying archers.

Our towers made another round, killing unlucky enemy archer.

The buffing rages on.

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Huskarls try to kill that elemental with javelins. One javelin connects (15 damage). Archers fire their bows too.

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ArtB’s arrow hits tribal warrior; Valescere damages an Iceclad. No frags this time.

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Gaya casts Quicken Self, for some idiotic reason (he’d better used that last air gem to summon another elemental). He is at 90 fatigue already.

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Old age is incompatible with my dominion scales. At least this problem has been dealt with. Now Caelum forces has no mage or priest support, only Martiya and his Thunder Bow.

… And a whole legion of archers.

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That miss like motherfuckers.

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Not a single arrow connected, including Thunder Bow. Well, what did he expect? It’s not the most accurate toy in the world, one Eye of Aiming alone isn’t enough to use it effectively.

Hostile infantry moved a bit closer. Wolves are the first ones to enter the fort, apart from dat air elemental.

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The narrow entrance should slow their advance, and win us a turn or two.

Next turn commences. Shooting towers still suck, but at least they hit something.

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This turn didn’t start so well. Since our commanders act before Caelum’s charge, AI has chosen pretty damn useless spells to cast. Skalds mostly cast Aim/Steal Breath, while Vanjarls perform Sermons of Courage. Others follow the script.

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First Terror casting wasn’t very precise, but still delivered morale hit upon several ogres and stuff.

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At least some skalds cast Charge Body, which is gud. Grimgravy casts Holy Avenger, which is surely better than Sermon of Сourage in these circumstances.

Archers shoot another one. Valescere misses, ArtB hits a Blizzard Warrior that barely survives (chest wound and 1 hp left).

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When I was scripting 14 huskarls to “hold and attack”, I kinda forgot that we move before Caelum in this battle. So they moved out of the circle before Caelum infantry charged.

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How gloriously bad this is. Now the huskarls are surrounded, and there are birds inside the circle.

As you can see, Gaya summoned one last air elemental and totally fainted (161 fatigue).

Volley of arrows incoming. GIT DOWN

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Half of connected arrows were friendly fire. But most of them missed, including Thunder Bow.

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And the melee combat begins. Birdman make their attacks.

One human serf gets killed instantly, one of huskarls receives a minor leg hit, even Crispy gets one in his tiny arm.

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The best iceclads of Calum are in the center of our circle. Three of them went for me, and I was THIS close to death right at this moment. Twist Fate spell protected me from one of the attackers, and Valescere covered me from two others.

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One icelad hits an illusion, but another one manages to land a hit and pierce brave Vanir’s body with spear. Valescere gets an affliction, but stands firmly. Unlike human serfs, who get butchered like pigs in a slaughterhose.

But then, yet another birdman attacks Valescere.

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Surrounded by two Iceclads and one Spire Horn Militia, Valescere gets pierced twice now. Two afflictions, no Glamour effect, 5 hp left. Any human on his place would be either dead, or routing.

The initial charge continues. A couple more huskarls receive minor hits, Crispy’s zombies are pwnd gradually, others mostly avoid Caelum attacks.

Although, one Raptorian Militia gets EXXXTREMELY lucky and one-shots a skald near Grimgravy.

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Which is pretty bad for Grimgravy, for he is alone and surrounded now.

Unlucky raptor attacked a skald and triggered Charge Body buff. Stupid Caelum shock trooper was insta-killed.

Grumpy occasionnaly gets a hit or two, but he’s got enough hp not to worry about it too much.

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Non-flying infantry are breaching dat entrance!

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Some of them have bows, which they try to use on the run. Killing their own troops.

Our shooting towers did just a bit better, marking start of turn 4.

The counter-attack begins. Zephyr the Cloud Mage made my face change with his jew-jitsu.

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Fuck Zephyr. So. IT FFFFFFCKIN BEGINs!

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All that damage doesn’t even fit in message screen. It’s Heavan. Although, our surfs suffer too. You can also see that Spire Horn Militia mostly doesn’t give a shit, having some resistance to lightning. But Iceclads suffer a lot. And Iceclads are still Caelum’s best in this War.

The counter-attack continiues. Some skalds cast Shocking Grasp; Helkarls do their Frighten thingie; Crispy lies on the ground unconscious; Harkon goes full melee.

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Most of the skalds went for melee too. Which isn't bad at all - we need to preserve fatigue. Ulfric Stormcloak perform a truly glorious beheading on one birdman, while his horse mangles another one.

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Hel, even I go melee myself. Coz I don’t carry dat quarterstaff just for gud looks, and Valescere can use some help with those Iceclads.

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Feels gud.

Grimgravy shows everybody pure art.

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Once again, all the damage and mayhem jes doesn’t fit in a single message screen (I scrolled it to the upper-most part). None of our units were damaged. 7 Caelum units were killed instantly, much more were severely wounded.

Grumpy is hard to keep a track on. He moved several times during this turn in no particular order (Grumpy-Huskarl-Huskarl-Grumpy-Grumpy-Huskarl-Grumpy-Hirdman-Huskarl-Grumpy-Grumpy-Grumpy – you get the idea). And trampling isn’t reported in message screen for some reason. There is a kill count meter on every commander, but not on regular units like Grumpy.

But rest assured – the drunken mammoth DID trample A LOT of canaries.

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Huskarl’s performance was absolutely devastating. A lot of these brave Vanir warriors were injured by initial attack, but that didn’t affect them one bit.

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Starving army is a useless army. When I said they are barely standing on their feet, I was dead fucking serious.

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And no, this is not the worst of their unit. Amrav should have send his armies on expansion towards Kailasa and C’tis, find some supplies, return his warriors back in shape. But he was so obsessed with this War, he sent them to dead and empty province of Helgate.

Now you see what you see. Huskarls have absolutely no problems finishing off these cripplies. Have to watch out for healthy Iceclads, though.

Van Scouts don’t give up. Both of them pull up a decent fight, facing best of the best of Caelum shock troopers.

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Grumpy’s KILLING SPREE never stops. He tramples his way forward.

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You’ve got to have Big. Bronze. Balls. If you want to fight Helheim. The birdmen have vaginas instead.

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Some are attacking, some are retreating. Those who stay can’t do any damage – their numbers are too low, and condition is too bad. I guess we can call that a victory over initial wave of enemies.

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Of course, the fight isn’t nearly over. Mammoths, non-flying infantry, archers, remains of the inial wave – we are still severely outnumbered.

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Their archers still cannot take down our provokers (serfs and zombies). AI has problems with archers units since times immemorial.

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Shock troopers from initial wave kill some more serfs from the inner circle. Iceclad attacks Valescere, but grievously wounded Van Scout dodges this thrust.

Unlike fainted Crispy, who can’t dodge anything.

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Zephyr was killed. Ain’t worth a screenshot, pesky human.

Enemy infantry moved closer.

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And that covers turn 4. Having fun yet?

Turn 5 begins with shooting towers. Useless as usual.

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Skalds and royal skalds cast Shocking Grasps or just fight what’s left of them in melee.

LundB is looking gorgeous again.

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I’m in awe.

Lord Harkon keeps the blood of our enemies flowing, too.

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Ulfric Stormcloak kills another two in melee.

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As for me, the time has come. TERROR!

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The spell affected lot of birds. They are all at negative morale now.

More Shocking Grasps from Vanherses. Grimgravy mangles unlucky birdman with dat Dwarven Hammer.

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Our infantry does equally good. Natural killers.

And so is ArtB!

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And if somebody thinks that Valescere is done for, think again.

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Killin’ birdmen like a true Vanir he is.

Most of huskarls couldn’t reach any bird in melee, so they threw javelins towards our circle. All javelins missed, except for a single one.

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That was very close to a sudden and embarrassing death. But I’m fine, no afflictions or anything, and still 12 hp left. A mere javelin, sticking out of my chest. Just a flesh wound.

Hate to admit that, but Grumpy was effectively countered by Caelum. The drunken mammoth is fully focused on air elemental. It’s very hard to inflict physical damage on ethereal target (that includes trampling), and even when Grumpy succeeds – the elemental just shrinks, but not dies.

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The rest of shock troopers retreat. We did it!

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Our provokers are killed by savages and hostile arrows. Grumpy gets more wounds, but he’s alive and doesn’t flee yet.

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But then…

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Why, lizzurds, why? I hate you! It was the worst possible end for turn 5.

Next turn. Shooting towers finally manage to kill a couple enemy archers. Skalds and Vanjarls take this short break to buff. Some cast Steal Breath upon lizzurds. I perform another Terror.

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Frontmost infantry have 0 morale now.

Grimgravy doesn’t buff, though. Grimgravy pwns humans.

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Van Scouts make the shots. Valescere kills a lizzurd, ArtB kills a human.

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Huskarls rush in and form a shieldwall. I’ll see how these fucking cripple-pussies are going to break through this.

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… Fuck. I forgot they have a trampling Air Elemental.

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Even though it usually tramples illusions, the air elemental can break formations easily. Our spontaneously-formed line isn’t a line anymore.

Then the fucking MADNESS started. Enemy archers fired the largest volley yet. Arrows were hitting EVERYTHING.

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It was looking horrible. We were hit by normal arrows, ice arrows, lightning arrow from Thunder Bow – as well as our enemies. Martiya didn’t care.

Our huskarls were too scattered to pull up a solid defense. Some were frozen by frost bows too. Fuck.

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Turn 6 has started. LundB performs Sermon of Courage on the fron part of our circle, while Harkon throws a lightning bolt at ogre. It doesn’t deal any damage, unfortunately.

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Most of skalds and royal skalds are unconscious already. Those who are not, faint this turn. Only Vanjarls, Van Scout, and myself are still and below-hundred fatigue.

Ulfric casts Steal Breath for some forsaken reason. Thankfully, I’ll be able to hard-script lightning bolts after this fight.

I charm the same mammoth that Ulfric targeted. An EXCEPTIONNALY great mammoth, I must say. Experienced and non-afflicted, the only one of his kind in the whole hostile army.

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Grimgravy understood my idea quickly, and performed Sermon of Courage on our new mammoth.

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Dat mammoth has 10 morale now, which should be enough til the end of the combat.

Huskarls mostly hit Air Elemental and fail to hurt it horribly.

Valescere didn’t fire his bow this turn, for some reason unknown to me. He just made a step back. Morale check wasn’t failed, and stepping back is actually normal for “Fire and Keep Distance” script, but usually it doesn’t prevent actual firing. Strange.

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ArtB himself kills another lizzurd.

The enemy counter-attacks, killing some huskarls and damaging my new mammoth.

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Yet another insane volley of wooden/frost/thunder arrows.

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New mammoth is no more, and last surviving huskarls are barely holding. But at least that last volley made a lot of lizzurds retreat.

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And we’ve got ourselves a new problem: Airya Temple Guards. These extremely slow elite Caelum units are all experienced, and non-afflicted. Once they reach enemy ranks – they are able to inflict formidable damage, while having enough protection to withstand friendly fire.

Well. They have reached us now.

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But frankly, ogres could pretty much finish off our huskarls without their help.

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Turn 7. Shooting towers SUDDENLY inflict considerable damage.

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There are still a couple of skalds with 98 fatigue, so they are able to cast one last farewell spell. Steal Breath it is.

LundB casts Sermon of Courage on Ulfric and faints (100 fatigue).

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Harkon casts Lightning Bolt and still stands, although barely (92 fatigue).

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Ulfric casts Steal Breath and misses. But at least he’s not fainted yet (92 fatigue). I cast Paralyze on mammoth, and still have powder in my ass (61 fatigue). Grimgravy casts Steal Breath and faints (109 fatigue).

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Four last huskarls attempt to cause a bit more damage before death. Vanir never run.

ArtB wounds a human badly. Valescere one-shots a lizzurd.

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Three more huskarls die during infantry attack.

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Being not right in the head, Martiya gives an order to shoot the last one with arrows. One huskarl, surrounded by Martiya’s own men…

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But here is the funny thing: the arrows killed a lot of Martiya’s men, but not him. Wounded, but alive, the huskarl dodged several mammoth tramples, and lizzurd attacks and made it to next turn.

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Turn 8. Almost no hope left. But glorious death is reason enough to keep fighting.

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LundB regained consciousness for a while, performed another Sermon of Courage and fainted with 108 fatigue.

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Harkon casts Lightning Bolt and faints with 100 fatigue.

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Ulfric and freshly-recovered-skald perform Steal Breath on one mammoth, while I charm another.

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Ulfric faints with 113 fatigue.

Last huskarl misses, most zombies miss as well. But at least this mammoth I’ve charmed tramples lots of their people.

ArtB misses, Valescere hits an archer, who barely survives this shot.

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They kill our last huskarl, and focus their attention on mammoth. While their own mammoth MORALE FAILURE, hurray! Some of their infantry flee as well.

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They finish off last zombies, and butcher charmed mammoth. Their mammoths manage to do major damage while routing, but still not enough to cause massive morale failure.

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It looks like we are out of options. What happens next?

Volley of arrows, that’s what. This time – aiming straight at us, the last defenders of Helgate.

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Good news: the arrows didn’t do shit to us, except for minor wound upon one of my personal bodyguards (no afflictions). All thanks to Air Shield buff.

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Meanwhile, mammoths trample archers on their way outside. Some of them even attack each other in desperate attempt to go through.

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Turn 9. Some of us regained consciousness. Two royal skalds cast Frighten upon enemy infantry that didn’t rout, another royal skald summons skeleton. I cast Terror on these motherfuckers.

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Ogres have -7 morale now.

ArtB wounds a Blizzard warrior, Valescere misses. I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. Melee combat is about to commence.

But what’s that?

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Commanders retreat? Can it be?

The archers fire chaotically.

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A lot of friendly fire. One skald dies, fainted Harkon and royal skald are pierced by arrows too (no afflictions).

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Another part of their infantry flees, including terrified ogres. Mammoths trample more archers. Our breathless skalds receive numerous hits from humans, lizards and Airya Temple Guards.

Grimgravy’s chest is pierced by human’s spear.

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Turn whatever. Shooting towers land more hits, Holy Avenger from Harkon hits a mammoth, we are barely alive.

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LundB pulls his last bits of strength together, and throws a Lightning Bolt at the most dangerous Airya Temple Guard.

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I throw a Cold Blast (another new spell from Evo2 school) and kill another three enemies.

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Badly wounded Grimgravy, surrounded for the second time, casts Shocking Wave.

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ArtB wounds a birdman, Valescere kills a human.

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Then, finally

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The enemy routs. Every. Single. One. Unit.

EXCEPT

two cursed-by-all-gods-and-pretenders-lizzurds, may they forever rot in oblivion, suffering the worst possible tortures and torments.

They killed Grimgravy.

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And it was over.

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They ran. We were shooting their backs with arrows and lightning bolts. The lizzurd that killed Grimgravy didn’t make it either.

We have won. But at what cost?

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So many dead, it’s unbelievable.

Valescere won’t live through another month, I’m afraid. He is still alive at the moment, but nothing can be done about his wounds.

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And we’ve lost Grimgravy. He is attending The Great Feast now, and won’t be forgotten here in Helheim. I’ll make humble memorial sections for everyone who enlisted and died during this War. You can find it in op-post.

Thank you for your brave and loyal service, Grimgravy:salute: We shall meet again.

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Last edited:

Grimwulf

Arcane
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Reported for brofist harvesting.

:notsureifserious:

I would rather hear yer opinions and feedback, posted in gud old "in your face" fashion. Like I said,
But if you want giant-ass posts once in a week instead – let me know.
I can make every update sized like the last battle, only with more text (coz there is always less text during battles). They just won't be regular in this case - it takes a shitload of time to write it all down, make&edit screenshots, google appropriate and atmospheric art, etc.

I take your reply as a "yes, I like 'em giant and rare" then?
 

Valescere

Literate
Joined
Dec 20, 2014
Messages
8
Considering the size of the posts, splitting them up sounds fine by me!

Hey, I'll live long enough for the victory celebration. Can't ask for more then that!
 

Got bored and left

Guest
Holy fucking shit. That's about everything I can say right now.

Grimgravy, we salute you :salute:




















...and I think I hate lizzurds even more than before.
 

Grimwulf

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The capital is bustling with activity.

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TURN 27

EARLY SUMMER IN THE YEAR 3 OF THE ASCENSION WARS

Just finished with funeral fires here in Helgate. So many dead Vanir.

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Only 13 of us left in the castle. That includes skalds and my personal bodyguards. One of us is wounded badly (skald with “never healing wound” affliction), and another one is in critical condition (Valescere). And that’s not even the worst part.

But before I get to that, gotta correct some mistakes I've made. Again. (sorry, I’m just not that gud at the game)

1. Previously I stated that it’s possible to escape during castle defence and survive, but only in case the defenders are victorious. I was wrong. If you are fighting for defenders and escape the battlefield, you will die, no matter how the battle ends. Analyzing last battle one more time more closely, I noticed that one of our serf warriors actually routed.

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It was kinda hard to notice at first, coz there was a lot of birdmen routing at the same time. But yeah, the little cowardly human escaped. As you remember, we won the battle, but all humans died. Conclusion: no retreat.

2. During castle storming, attacking side does not retreat at the current province when routing. They rout like usual – to random neighboring allied province. Caelum forces returned back to Valley of 1000 Deaths, except for several units that didn’t participate in actual storming.

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I dunno why I thought otherwise. Another memory glitch.

Now that we’re over boring technical stuff, let’s continue watching me suffer.

Come at me, messages!

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We’ve researched some basic Evo and Alt stuff last month. It’s gonna give us some spell variety and tactical maneuvers. Not mentioning the enormous impact of these spells during Helgate Last Stand (surely you remember Shock Waves from LundB and Grimgravy, Cold Blast from Yours Truly, Charge Body from regular skalds, and several Lightning Bolts from Vanjarls).

Selvaria began constructing stuff.

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A lot of Vanheim encounters have taken place. Let’s see…

Brutus attacked Weeping Falls, attempting to stop reinforcements coming from there. Vanheim currently has a lot of forces stationed in that province, all healthy and experienced.

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Classy formations. Cavalry on flanks, barbarian chaff standing ahead of national-units-shieldwall. So damn gud they are. As for their leader, it’s a HoF hero.

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Just like Agiwulf, this one made it to HoF during first year, when there was plenty of space, got his “Heroic Endurance” ability, then jes kept his ass alive and safe. And now he’s got a whole freakin’ army to lead.

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The only province Brutus had to escape is Edge of the Melt. But it was overrun by a small crappy band of Vanheim.

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Our PD 10 managed to smack a few skulls, but PD is PD. Nothing to see here, really – just an ordinary bakemono commander, leading a bunch of mildly experienced people.

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I would say we were lucky to kill a Vanhere, but Vanheim has so many of them, it doesn’t really matter.

And thus, Vanheim has cut off last escape route for Brutus.

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Meanwhile, Lysandus and Everett were doing the same diversion trick in Misty Hollow province.

I can imagine the looks on those Vanheim faces, while they walk through my empty cold provinces. Ghost towns and abandoned villages everywhere, and only crow cawing breaks the silence. Every once in a while they see silhouettes of horsemen in the mist.

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Since deceptive Vanir use illusions and Glamour, it’s hard to say how many Vanir of Helheim are out there. Forces of Vanheim quickly line up in battle formations, and prepare for combat.

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But just as they finish preparations, mysterious horsemen are gone.

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The same event happens again and again, distracting Vanir of Vanheim, and hampering their advance significantly.

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But there is a special one among them. A single Vanir who marches in different direction. The one who refuses to be distracted.

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Fucking Kvase the Vanadrott.

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Totally on his own, with nothing but a couple air gems on him. Which he used to summon air elementals.

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And captured the province all by himself. This is actually extremely embarrassing.

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Super Combatant my ass. Now my people have nowhere to hang themselves. Outrageous!

But at least we have some good news too. Congratulations to Crispy, who has been reborn AND gained a D3 path.

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He is now an AWESOME E3D3 caster. With just a minor affliction from last battle.

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It’s a sin to leave such a beast behind. His place is on the battlefield, not in some dusty lab.

Meanwhile, mortals die.

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So. FUCKING. Slow. BoT was nerfed indeed.

Unexpected event incoming. I hate those.

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Great. I don’t think that Ulminati will be able to cast spells with his new Encumbrance value.

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The last message of this month tells me that entrance to Helgate is still breached. Meaning, Caelum can bring all types of reinforcements from whatever nearby provinces they own, and storm the castle again next turn. Well, thank you very much, message screen, it’s really good to know.

What a long fucking month.

Let’s look at our current situation, shall we?

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Aaand we’ve lost a massive portion of our territories last month. The province of Resting Shore doesn’t bring any income, since it lost connection to allied castle. Helgate is still breached and vulnerable, having only 13 defenders inside. An judging by another black candle that spawned in Valley of 1000 Deaths, either Caelum’s Prophet, or Amrav himself is stationed over there at the moment. Probably both.

Ulm and Vanheim brought incredible amount of forces. I don’t have a single spare unit to fight them, until they besiege my capital. Even diversions are too dangerous now. I can’t afford to waste commanders like I’ve wasted Brutus. He was a worthless human, of course, but others are pretty valuable to me.

One would say that Helheim is done for. I’m gonna spit in his face before that bastard finishes the sentence, but afterwards I’ll have to agree.

Even the score graphs are pretty boring this time. Sauromatia pwnd Agartha once again, and captured a province. We got pwnd by Vanheim on a large scale. Kailasa still sucks lizard’s scaly dicks or whatever they have down there. Tails?

Two of them score graphs are rather interesting, though. One is dominion:

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Holy damn, this is at least two candles lost. Considering they GAINED one here in the Valley of 1000 Deaths. Which means, they lost THREE somewhere else. But where? It’s not like Kailasa or C’tis are pushing them with their own dominions, Ulm doesn’t seem to gain any shit as well. My best guess is random event.

Hmm. Domkilled by a random event. That would be the most embarrassing defeat I ever seen.

Right. Moving on to even more interesting score graph: ARMY SIZE!

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Hel yes! We pwnd these featherfuckers, and pwnd them bad. It’s not just about 200 that we killed on the battlefield, but also those who died and deserted because of starvation. We did gud, I say.

Orders time! This time I’ll start with the capital.

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We are breaking the siege of Helgate! We have no other choice, actually. Since Caelum will attempt to storm the castle again next turn, and we only have 13 defenders left there, we MUST attack it with all availiable force from Helgate AND from the capital. Troll’s Warband doesn’t have any infantry at the time (they will come a few months later with Gordon Cageman), but he has Helhird vets and 4 corpse constructs built by Selvaria. What’s more important, Helgate has a SHITTON of corpses from last battle, and we’ll have enough D2 casters for Raise Dead spell, including Grunker.

PocketMine comes with Troll, but he won’t participate in battle. Van Souts don’t have any missile weapon by default, cannot be blessed, do not have any magic paths. Basically, all they got is a spear, Glamour, and Vanir combat skillz. I don’t want to risk a good scout for nothing.

Selvaria now has a Lightning Rod and a Storm Spool. She will stay in the capital and summon 6 corpse constructs every turn. While Andhaira forges another Lightning rod. One of Helgate skalds is going to forge one more Storm Spool. That will allow Krummi to spam some corpse constructs in Helgate, until I recruit another Valkyrie to replace her with that task.

Ulminati stays in capital to research. He will never be a gud combat caster after that heart attack he endured. Maybe I’ll equip him for melee combat later, or think of something else. But right now, he is in charge of my capital.

We need to go deeper in my autistic subconsciousness Let’s just go on with orders.

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No more diversions. Roark and Everett will stay in Helheim, while Lysandus will exchange corpse constructs between two castles, based on where they are needed the most.

Gordon is currently busy with leading Troll’s infantry vets through the mountains. While Krummi can just fly over them and join the battle immediately. Benevolent!

And that leads us to Helgate.

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Simple as that – we break the fucking siege. It’s high time we turn the tide and go aggressive towards aggressor. Caelum must be annihilated!

Everybody attacks with all we’ve got, royal skalds are given 1 death gem each so they can cast a single Raise Dead spell (notice the incredible 160 unburied corpses availiable). The wounded skald won’t participate in combat – he shall forge another Storm Spool.

As for Valescere, I can’t decide for him. I’ll be honest: no chance he’s gonna survive the battle with these wounds. One hit from birdman – and that’s it. So I thought that the least I can do is give him the freedom of choice. He’s done enough for Helheim to choose how will he spend his last days or months.

So. What will it be, Valescere?

1. Go back to the capital and die in COMFORT, surrounded by ale and whores.

2. Go on EXPLORING! To the Dying Jungle and beyond. See the lands that no Vanir had seen before. The reports on C’tis situation will also be invaluable to Helheim. To die during a glorious adventure, just like Jon Snow – isn’t it awesome?

3. ATTACK the goddamn birdmen in the Valley of 1000 Deaths. You will be alone there, and may or may not shoot a couple lizzurds before they finish you off. In that case, Helheim will see what’s stationed there. Is it Amrav or Prophet, or shitton of priests, or maybe all of them. Live like a scout – die like a berserker.

4. JOIN us, as we turn the tide and break the siege of Helgate one last time before going offensive. You will most probably die, but you’ll be surrounded by your friends and brothers up til your last moment.

If you choose option 1, 2 or 3, you may also decide if you want to keep the bow. It is yours, and it will vanish be burned along with your body if you keep it. Or you can pass it to PocketMine, so it will once more serve as a weapon against enemies of Helheim.

I’ll accept any of these. If you have something else in mind – let me know, we’ll figure something out.

Hiring is simple this turn: Svartalf in the capital (Azira). You’d better be a fire Svartalf! Or else!

Still 77gp left. In conclusion and by tradition, Teh National Overview:

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Right. Time for a little War Council. We have a grand battle coming up. Not many of us left, but you can call it Helheim All Stars (well, almost).

If you want to keep your sanity intact, then I’ll see you next time.

Welcome! No ale or mead today. Only vodka. Drink it hard, for we are going all-in.

Either we turn that fucking tide, or we die in most glorious way possible – melee combat. This will be the principle of our new strategy, developed by Crispy while he was dead.

Sorry, no “paper” version this time. We are trying to develop a new way of easy visual representation. The old one is shit, and besides it transforms into clusterfuck when there is too many commanders. You saw what it looked like during last Caelum battles, and now there is also Trolls Warband – it just doesn’t work anymore.

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Details incoming!

1. King Grimwulf protects himself with usual buffs, and spams Terror after that. He could stay in Helgate and research, since he’s not needed in that particular battle (Troll can perform Divine Blessing instead), but that’s not fun. Yes, we know that our global strategy has flaws issues.

2. Codex Troll buffs himself with Holy Avenger and Skeletal Body, then goes melee on turn 3 (right after Caelum shock troopers attack us).

3. Crispy performs mass-buffs, then spams Terror.

4. Hangadrotts reanimate some zombies and go melee on turn 3. Headless Horseman casts Flying Shield instead of second Raise Dead.

5. Grunker and Krummi do some buffs/raise zombies, then go melee on turn 3.

6. Royal skalds buff and raise zombies, then go melee on turn 3.

7. Helhird waits and attacks on turn 3.

8. ArtB (and probably Valescere) does his archer thing.

9. Every Vanjarl stands in pair with skald. They are outside the circle this time. First they protect themselves from air and lightning. Then:

- Vanjarls cast Shock Wave. They will only cast it if Caelum shock troopers will be near them on turn 3 (and they fucking will, since they attack everybody). But if there will be nobody near, Vanjarls will cast a spell on their own choice. On turn 4 they will attack.

- Skalds are ordered to cast Charge Body on turn 3. On turn 4 they will attack.

10. Corpse constructs act as decoys for enemy archers this time. They are also deadly for any Caelum shock trooper that attacks them, due to permanently charged bodies.

11. Grimwulfs bodyguards stay in the circle all the time, as usual.

12. PocketMine doesn't participate in battle. He is on the list because game engine.

So, what’s it all about: we don’t expect heavy melee forces from Caelum this time. We destroyed pretty much 100% of their fighters, except maybe for some lizzurds and mammoths. Now their army is mostly archers and commaders. We have 26, TWENTY MOTHERFUCKING SIX, sacred mounted Vanir warriors, every single one is ffffucking deadly and next-to-invulnerable in melee.

Time to teach those bird-archers a lesson they will nevar forget!

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Last edited:

Dreaad

Arcane
Joined
Apr 18, 2013
Messages
5,604
Location
Deep in your subconscious mind spreading lies.
Kinda starting to feel like BoT killed you rather than saved you. If the AI did in fact target you after you cast it.

You need some kinda brutal combat trick to be finished soon, so you can at least get back the lands you've lost, because the AI conjuration armies are coming. I suppose construction will sort that out if you manage to keep a lab somewhere to construct something. Shame you don't have any access to archers, the battles against Caelum seem to last ages, lots of time for arrows to help you out.
 

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