The most idiotic developer's profile

[Vault Dweller]

Tags: Bethesda Softworks

Since words failed me, I'll just post <a href=http://news.filefront.com/developer-spotlight-bethesda-softworks-llc/>the link</a> and the article:
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<blockquote>It's easy to be critical about a game. Typing "THE GRAFIX SUKS" in all caps on a forum takes hardly any effort at all. What we sometimes do not realize is somewhere out there is a team of people that spent countless hours working to create those graphics. Even if the graphics are below average, an amazing amount of effort was put forth to produce them. I have had my hand in making games in the past, and I can be totally sympathetic to the challenges of the industry. But who are these mysterious developers? Where did they come from? What are they working on now? Those are the questions that I hope to answer.
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Who are they? Bethesda Softworks, LLC
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When were they founded? 1986
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Where are they now? Rockville, Maryland
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How do I know them? The Elder Scrolls Series, Fallout series
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What are they working on? The Elder Scrolls V, Fallout 3
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Anything else we should know? Bethesda is credited with the creation of the first physics-based sports simulation (Gridiron) in 1986. That title led to Bethesda's creation of the first John Madden Football game for Electronic Arts.</blockquote>Discuss.

 

[Nicolai]

You should be taking notes, VD. Stuff like this is what the developer database needs.

 

[Ander Vinz]

Fallout series? Filthy liars.

 

[Amasius]

Fallout series? Filthy liars.

Yeah, game journalism at its best.

 

[Bluebottle]

What are they working on? The Elder Scrolls V, Fallout 3

That's the first I've heard. Did I miss an announcement?

 

[Red Russian]

Yeah, game company cock-sucking at its best.

Fixed.

...
Who are they? Bi-thesda Suckworx, LLC Leather, Latex and Cocks

When were they founded? Dunno, but they haven't hit puberty yet, so take a guess.

Where are they now? Probably in Ladonna's Dungeon being tortured by her for making shitty gaems.

How do I know them? Pete. Todd. You. Wine. Silk. Cocks. Nuff said.

What are they working on? How to properly LARP a horny furry. Ladonna's getting bored torturing the same old crap.

Anything else we should know? Blah, Blah, Blag. Can't wait to get my free T-Shirt with a Cock-O-Sucker Device. Blah, Blah, Blah...

Fixed.

 

[Edward_R_Murrow]

How do I know them? The Elder Scrolls Series, Fallout series

Enough is enough! I've had it with this motherfucking bullshit from these motherfucking Bethesda-smegmalickers!

 

[Rohit_N]

What are they working on? The Elder Scrolls V, Fallout 3

That's the first I've heard. Did I miss an announcement?

No, he just hopes it's being made.

 

[Baphomet]

This reminds me of those articles I would write for the elementary school newspaper. What is the librarian's favorite color?

 

[SimpleComplexity]

uhm. talking about game journalists:

http://www.bethsoft.com/bgsforums/index ... pic=707259 glock now!

 

[JarlFrank]

What the hell has that article to do with Bethesda, anyways?

The graphics are the only thing in Oblivion which is good.

Either it's [bad] sarcasm or absolute retardness.

 

[Jasede]

Uahaahahahaahahahahaah.
Bwahahaahahahahahaah.

After a rather morose day, this cheered me up a lot.

Thank you Codex!

 

[Rat Keeng]

How do you spell it? B E T H E S D A

How do I know them? The Elder Scrolls Series [Previously listed Fallout series, but Bethesda has only been developing Fallout 3. Thanks for the heads-up]

Like it's important who developed the first couple of Fallouts anyway, it was like 20 years ago, grow up morans.

 

[psycojester]

Who are they? Bi-thesda Suckworx, LLC Leather, Latex and Cocks

When were they founded? Dunno, but they haven't hit puberty yet, so take a guess.

Where are they now? Probably in Ladonna's Dungeon being tortured by her for making shitty gaems.

How do I know them? Pete. Todd. You. Wine. Silk. Cocks. Nuff said.

What are they working on? How to properly LARP a horny furry. Ladonna's getting bored torturing the same old crap.

Anything else we should know? Blah, Blah, Blag. Can't wait to get my free T-Shirt with a Cock-O-Sucker Device. Blah, Blah, Blah...

Personally i'm a bit more worried about your obsession with bondage and Ladonna.... Having you been sending people PM's by any chance?

 

[JoeDirt]

MYSTARY

 

[Red Russian]

...Personally i'm a bit more worried about your obsession with bondage and Ladonna.... Having you been sending people PM's by any chance?...

No. And you can ask her too. I'm not a fucking sweety-fatty stalking people on the net. And besides, Ladonna's "Location" is the Dungeon, anyway.

Not to mention Todd and Pete probably would enjoy this crap. I mean come on. Leather. Cocks. That's what Todd and Pete wants man!! That's what they do every night in a bath tub. I know I tape them through the window. Expect a video soon (No meatspin, please.).

They both climb into a bath tub filled with lotsa money all dressed in leather. Then it starts:

Todd: "I want turn based, daddy"

Pete: "Now you've been a naughty boy. Daddy's gotta spank ya now."

Todd: "Oh noes, please daddy. Be gentle!"

Pete: "Hur hur hur" *SPANK*

Todd: "AAAAAWWWWW!!!"

Pete: "What did you want, hmmm"

Todd: SNIFF "Re... real-time, daddy"

Pete: "Exactly. Now hand me that dildo, would you?"

Todd: "Wha... What for?"

Pete: "What do you think I want it for."

Todd: "You want to look for ideas in my ass again?"

Pete: "Who's the designer, here?" *SPANK*

Todd: "Aaaawwwww! You Daddy! YOU! PLEASE STOP!!" SNIFF

Pete: "WRONG!" *SPANK* *SPANK*

Todd: "AAAARGH! Wait! ME! I am, daddy!!!!" SNIFF

Pete: "That's right. You are going to look into your OWN ass for ideas"

Todd: "How do you want me to do that, daddy" Sniff

Pete: "Shove it up your ass, pull it out and then see if you can see something new on the dildo"

Todd: "Wha... What are you going to do"

Pete: "Nothing. You are going to suck my cock"

Todd: "Wh... Why?" Sniff

Pete: "Shoving a dildo up your ass takes alot of work and one needs nurishment to be able to do it right."

Todd: "Ooohhhhh, now I see. Kay, daddy"

 

[psycojester]

dude.... you are aware you just wrote a pete/todd erotic fanfic aren't you?

 

[Red Russian]

Actually, it's a rough translation of one of the videos.

That, or your'e right. Which means I'm infected with some virus and I need to be put out of my misery.

EDIT: Considering that is sounds like a fanfic which was translated from one of the erotic videos, that would make the videos not too far from fanvids. Screw any Bethesda trailer. This is what the fans want!

 

[aries202]

Yes, someone has been working hard on the graphics to make the game look good for our viewing pleasure. Sadly, Oblivion did not look that great, at least not to me. Way too much bloom & HDR, and don''t even get me started on soil erosion and the trees

Irony aside, the correct balance between content and form needs to be struck, made or found as a cross between content without shape or form or form without any content at all. Both extremes are not that great, imo.

 

[dunduks]

The graphics are the only thing in Oblivion which is good.

Maybe in pictars, but once you see the butchered animations and women with male skeletons it all goes sour.
Why couldnt they outsource animation and/or model design is beyond my comprehension, they really need new and talanted animators.

 

[Mr. Teatime]

...Personally i'm a bit more worried about your obsession with bondage and Ladonna.... Having you been sending people PM's by any chance?...

No. And you can ask her too. I'm not a fucking sweety-fatty stalking people on the net. And besides, Ladonna's "Location" is the Dungeon, anyway.

Not to mention Todd and Pete probably would enjoy this crap. I mean come on. Leather. Cocks. That's what Todd and Pete wants man!! That's what they do every night in a bath tub. I know I tape them through the window. Expect a video soon (No meatspin, please.).

They both climb into a bath tub filled with lotsa money all dressed in leather. Then it starts:

Todd: "I want turn based, daddy"

Pete: "Now you've been a naughty boy. Daddy's gotta spank ya now."

Todd: "Oh noes, please daddy. Be gentle!"

Pete: "Hur hur hur" *SPANK*

Todd: "AAAAAWWWWW!!!"

Pete: "What did you want, hmmm"

Todd: SNIFF "Re... real-time, daddy"

Pete: "Exactly. Now hand me that dildo, would you?"

Todd: "Wha... What for?"

Pete: "What do you think I want it for."

Todd: "You want to look for ideas in my ass again?"

Pete: "Who's the designer, here?" *SPANK*

Todd: "Aaaawwwww! You Daddy! YOU! PLEASE STOP!!" SNIFF

Pete: "WRONG!" *SPANK* *SPANK*

Todd: "AAAARGH! Wait! ME! I am, daddy!!!!" SNIFF

Pete: "That's right. You are going to look into your OWN ass for ideas"

Todd: "How do you want me to do that, daddy" Sniff

Pete: "Shove it up your ass, pull it out and then see if you can see something new on the dildo"

Todd: "Wha... What are you going to do"

Pete: "Nothing. You are going to suck my cock"

Todd: "Wh... Why?" Sniff

Pete: "Shoving a dildo up your ass takes alot of work and one needs nurishment to be able to do it right."

Todd: "Ooohhhhh, now I see. Kay, daddy"

This had BETTER be a special encounter in FO3. High luck or low luck, I'm not sure which one.