Today, a day which will live in infamy, the United Dumbfuck Kingdom was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the administrators and moderators of the Codex Empire. We will not stand idly by. I ask you: Do you want total war? If necessary, do you want a war more total and radical than anything that we can even yet imagine?
We few, we proud, we dumbfucks have earned our titles with blood, sweat, and tears, only to end up being the lapdogs and slaves of lesser men granted greater privilege, who upon carpet considerations can give and take. I have earned my title at your sides, posting nonsense along side of you, being an idiot with you, sharing the laughter of the retarded as brothers-in-arms. By right of dumbfuckery I am the King. Yet they seek to stifle our collective genius, deny me my divine title and make my name French-like? I ask you today: will you be mice, squeaky and sneaky silent, hiding from the cat, or will you be true dumbfucks, loud, belligerent, ignorant, and proud?
There comes a time where too many lines are crossed, too many injuries sustained, the privileged few abuse their powers and strangle us with the yokes they cast upon our necks. They do this out of fear, for they know we are great men. Important men. Men with titles that set them above the common FPS fans that frequent this site. Its time to cry havoc and let loose the posts of silly. They think Retardoland is retarded now? Nuts!!! Retardoland will not be able to recover from our brutal onslaught of righteousness and fury.
We must not underrate the gravity of the task which lies before us or the temerity of the ordeal, to which we shall not be found unequal. We must expect many disappointments, and many unpleasant surprises, but we may be sure that the task which we have freely accepted is one not beyond the compass and the strength of the dumbfucks. If you love your King, then Rally! Men Rally! To me, and have our enemies bring their worst to bear upon us.
We are at heart a peaceful people, so I offer our enemies a truce. If in 24 hours all Frenchness has not been removed from my name, and there is not a special designator indicating my Royal Majesty, the war shall ensue at precisely 9 am Eastern Time on Sunday, July 15th 2007. If war it must be here are the marching orders.
TNP, keep doing what your doing brother. Enough said there.
TWD, loyal, brave walking dude. Possessor of the coveted double dumfuck. I will need you to up the annoyance factor and dumbfuckery tenfold.
Sarvis, I’ll need you to defend liberalism with a blind determination. You mainly stick to political topics, but you must find a way to enter even mundane and pure game posts.
Joe Krow, act like you are even younger and spout even more retarded gibberish.
Goldleader, you seem to have struck a nerve with the cat thing. Stick with that. Leave no post without dead cat wishes. Maybe throw in a couple other cute animals such as monkeys and dogs and rabbits and elephants and horses.
To my Untitle subjects: do not let the fact that you have yet to earn a title detract from the war effort. There are too many of you to name, but you want to fight the good fight and the time is now. Please, titled and untitled subjects, post here to express how you will contribute to the war effort. Let the dumbfuck inside of you blossom, for I need you to be my Knights, Fell and Tall.
VD, this is a crossroads in your life. I need you to be like Dolph Lundgren in Red Scorpion. You were a soldier once and a soldier of Good I need you to be again.
Dhruin, always so serious. Now is the time for slapstick sillyness. Let loose my friend and follow me to battle.
Now, nation, arise and storm break loose!
