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Oblivion GotY gets 9.5, not surprising

Suicidal

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Apr 29, 2007
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11/10 is reserved for Halo 3, game of the century.
 

Risine

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Dec 26, 2005
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I'm surprised they didn't review the 'Horse Armor Pack' extension and gave it a 9.75/10. :lol:

Oh, just wondering, did they?
 

Section8

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The "best multimedia experience ever created for a home audience" is fucking your girl (or guy) doggystyle while watching Die Hard. The "best multimedia experience" outside of the home is Dactyl Nightmare, AKA the future of gaming.

This reviewer fails, but his ability to nose-breathe while he chokes on developer cock is most impressive.
 

Jasede

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Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Codex Year of the Donut I'm very into cock and ball torture
Section8 said:
The "best multimedia experience ever created for a home audience" is fucking your girl (or guy) doggystyle while watching Die Hard. The "best multimedia experience" outside of the home is Dactyl Nightmare, AKA the future of gaming.

This reviewer fails, but his ability to nose-breathe while he chokes on developer cock is most impressive.

I think I love you, Section8.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6T_Y1PIsk4

This IS the best multimedia experience ever.
Also, damn, he's cute.
 

Callaxes

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I'm so fucking tired of this shit, I don't even have the strength to click on the link. Is this even funny anymore?
 

Longshanks

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gc051360 said:
mlc82 said:
So... do you guys think mainstream game reviewers are really this stupid, or are they just paid off?
Stupid.
Mainstream gamers.


What happened to all of Oblivion's flaws every Fallout 3 preview mentions will be improved? Dialogue, level scaling, voice acting, face gen, quests, choices, RAI ...
 

HanoverF

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MCA Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Codex USB, 2014 Divinity: Original Sin 2
One critique for posting these, put where its from in the title or at least higher in the item so we can tell right away which site is being a dumbass :P
 

Ismaul

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Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 BattleTech A Beautifully Desolate Campaign My team has the sexiest and deadliest waifus you can recruit.
mlc82 said:
So... do you guys think mainstream game reviewers are really this stupid, or are they just paid off?
Some of them are clearly stupid, but I wouldn't blame all the retardedness in their reviews on stupidity. I also don't think they're directly paid off, it's not money for awsom!1 review, it's more subtle than that. Reviewers and their magazine/website are getting bribed with exclusives, invites to game demonstrations, preview copies and interviews. Without those, the magazine or site is nothing, so they are forced to lick the publisher and developer's balls.

Now, how would they go about praising a shitty game? Analysing it properly and with a critical approach wouldn't work, since it would expose the game for the turd it is. So they hype it instead, give in to the orgasmic markethink of awsom!!1!, and we get the massive retardedness. Retarded reviews are a sign that there is nothing good to say about the game, so instead of praising it for its merits they give it a blowjob.

Then, when the major journalist magazines and websites have done the deed, the lesser ones are left with a choice: oppose those who are viewed as pillars of gaming journalism and go in an all out war, at the risk of being dismissed as unprofessionals and losing public credibility, and losing contacts with devs and publishers, putting their publication in peril, or suck all their cocks. What do you think they do?
 

Texas Red

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Ismaul said:
mlc82 said:
So... do you guys think mainstream game reviewers are really this stupid, or are they just paid off?
Some of them are clearly stupid, but I wouldn't blame all the retardedness in their reviews on stupidity. I also don't think they're directly paid off, it's not money for awsom!1 review, it's more subtle than that. Reviewers and their magazine/website are getting bribed with exclusives, invites to game demonstrations, preview copies and interviews. Without those, the magazine or site is nothing, so they are forced to lick the publisher and developer's balls.

What about those huge ass website owning companies, such as ZDnet or whats it called, that dont exlusively cover games? I really doubt some CEO with a marketing backround cares about games in any way and really, there is zero consequences for recieving a bribe. Plus the dirt that has come up shows that usually some high-up demands an uber positive review and/or tears the existing one, the real one, apart.

Though I noticed that a large number of reviewers are either anime 'tards or FPS fans. And thats synonimous with "stupid".
 

Crolug

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I played jRPG once. Final Fantasy VII. Heard from my pals that's the best FF ever, unforgettable RPG experience, and all that crap. I'm really ashamed to admit but I managed to get to half of it. I said to those pals afterwards that if they ever again would tell me anything about any jRPG I will rip their hearts out and show it to them still beating. Ever since every review that mentioned any FF in first two paragraphs is stopped reading at once.

Same goes for Oblivion mentioning or reffering to these days. For example when it comes to The Witcher. I don't refuse that some site might score it around 6-7/10 but than I search that site for Oblivion score, which usually is around 9,5-11/10 and GotY award so I even don't bother for brief reading...

Those reviews are not for us. We know exactly what we want and which games might have it. Those reviews are for kids that will bug their parents to buy them that cool new game and therefore satisfying money hunger of game publishers...
 

mlc82

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125
Ismaul said:
mlc82 said:
So... do you guys think mainstream game reviewers are really this stupid, or are they just paid off?
Some of them are clearly stupid, but I wouldn't blame all the retardedness in their reviews on stupidity. I also don't think they're directly paid off, it's not money for awsom!1 review, it's more subtle than that. Reviewers and their magazine/website are getting bribed with exclusives, invites to game demonstrations, preview copies and interviews. Without those, the magazine or site is nothing, so they are forced to lick the publisher and developer's balls.

Now, how would they go about praising a shitty game? Analysing it properly and with a critical approach wouldn't work, since it would expose the game for the turd it is. So they hype it instead, give in to the orgasmic markethink of awsom!!1!, and we get the massive retardedness. Retarded reviews are a sign that there is nothing good to say about the game, so instead of praising it for its merits they give it a blowjob.

Then, when the major journalist magazines and websites have done the deed, the lesser ones are left with a choice: oppose those who are viewed as pillars of gaming journalism and go in an all out war, at the risk of being dismissed as unprofessionals and losing public credibility, and losing contacts with devs and publishers, putting their publication in peril, or suck all their cocks. What do you think they do?



I'm thinking of PC Gamer specifically, and their "Exclusive Reviews" that are never anything but glowing. First was Oblivion, with the usual "OMG the graphics are Xtreme Awesome!!!!". Brief criticism of level scaling, NO mention of dumbing down from Morrowind, the god awful xbox interface, etc.

Then there was Medieval II, with potential to be a great game but an absolute broken, buggy mess upon release. What was the review like? "OMG Xtreme Awesome Graphics better than Rome's!!!". Along with the claim that the strategic game was "Better than Civ IV", "awesome battles" without mention of bugs that negated shield bonuses, caused Billmen (a primary anti-cavalry weapon) to be slaughtered by even light cavalry, Rome's same stupidly insane homicidal broken strategic AI, etc.

Last issue was Hellgate- again, not one mention of the criticisms I've seen levelled at it here which sound legit, but plenty of mention of "OMG Xtreme Graphics!!!".

Then the Crysis exclusive review- you guessed it, "OMG Most Xtremest Graphics EVAR!!" plus something about some of the AI being screwed, but apparently not badly enough to give the game less than a 98% rating. Crysis could be good, but funnily enough, this gleaming review makes me want to avoid it now.
 

Ismaul

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The Walkin' Dude said:
What about those huge ass website owning companies, such as ZDnet or whats it called, that dont exlusively cover games? I really doubt some CEO with a marketing backround cares about games in any way and really, there is zero consequences for recieving a bribe. Plus the dirt that has come up shows that usually some high-up demands an uber positive review and/or tears the existing one, the real one, apart.
Ismaul said:
Then, when the major journalist magazines and websites have done the deed, the lesser ones are left with a choice: oppose those who are viewed as pillars of gaming journalism and go in an all out war, at the risk of being dismissed as unprofessionals and losing public credibility, and losing contacts with devs and publishers, putting their publication in peril, or suck all their cocks. What do you think they do?
At least it's a possible explanation. The lesser ones follow, while the main ones establish the cocksucking. Don't want the cock? Your review is not on par with the major players', lose public credibility, expose yourself to mass criticism from the majors that need to protect themselves, lose more public credibility. The hassle and risk involved is not worth it for most of the minors. Nobody nonchalantly starts a war unless he believes strongly in what he says (like the Codex). Because it is a war. If you don't haver much power/influence, you're ignored, as if your opinion/review isn't worth shit. Otherwise, retaliation is coming your way. And that is why everyone is trying to discredit the Codex, NMA and other reactionaries. It's in their self-preservation interests.


DraQ said:
Crolug said:
I said to those pals afterwards that if they ever again would tell me anything about any jRPG I will rip their hearts out and show it to them still beating.
Ever tried Anachronox? It's western game, but it can be classed as jRPG. :D
And it's worth it. Superb characters.
 

Nael

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The Walkin' Dude said:
Though I noticed that a large number of reviewers are either anime 'tards or FPS fans. And thats synonimous with "stupid".

I fuckin resemble that comment!
 

Xi

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Mediocracy and Idiocracy met up, had sex, and out popped Oblivion. The reviewer filmed it. Of course he's foaming at the mouth, masturbating, and going blind with a retarded butterfly feeling in his stomach. Thus is the way of game review.
 

DraQ

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Ismaul said:
DraQ said:
Crolug said:
I said to those pals afterwards that if they ever again would tell me anything about any jRPG I will rip their hearts out and show it to them still beating.
Ever tried Anachronox? It's western game, but it can be classed as jRPG. :D
And it's worth it. Superb characters.
Of course it is. But I'm mainly trying to piss him off by pointing out jRPG that is actually awesome (as opposed to "teh awsum!1"). :wink:
 

pkt-zer0

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Saying "jRPGs suck" because you played one you didn't like is akin to saying "wRPGs suck" because you played Oblivion and found it to be horrible. There are a few gems in both genres, even though I usually like them for completely different reasons.

As for the Oblivion review, it the usual "greatest game ever" praise, with the added twist of zero actual content this time. I'm starting to think there might be an actual template for 9-10/10 reviews, you just have to fill in the gaps in some places.

Not as bad as the Game Informer review of Mass Effect, at least.
 

The_Pope

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What?

Oblivion is old. Old games suck, is this guy some kind of fag?
 

stargelman

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mlc82 said:
So... do you guys think mainstream game reviewers are really this stupid, or are they just paid off?
From some small personal experience I'd say the latter. First of all, these people do get lots of presents to make them write friendlier reviews. Games companies have quite a budget for such presents. They produce items -handouts- with game and company logos that you normally wouldn't find anywhere, just to give to these people. Some are quite cheap, like USB sticks with Oblivion logos (I have one of those somewhere), other presents are more refined. That's one side of it.
The other side is probably advertizing with these mags and sites. That's how they make their money, so they have to keep their advertizers happy. I doubt the head honcho of a games media company will allow one of their underlings to write bad reviews about a product of a company they have a good ad deal going with.

In the case of Bethesda you have an additional factor which is that Pete has been working in that business himself before becoming secretary of info-speak at Bethesda. He knows a lot of people and you can bet your bottom he's keeping in touch with them.


On the other side, when you read those reviews you really do get the impression that a lot of those writers are morons, so it might well be a combination of both.
 

Azael

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Section8 said:
The "best multimedia experience ever created for a home audience" is fucking your girl (or guy) doggystyle while watching Die Hard. The "best multimedia experience" outside of the home is Dactyl Nightmare, AKA the future of gaming.

This reviewer fails, but his ability to nose-breathe while he chokes on developer cock is most impressive.

Now that's immersion! In VR, you really can see the fear in the orcs' eyes.
 

Nael

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Crolug said:
Those reviews are not for us. We know exactly what we want and which games might have it. Those reviews are for kids that will bug their parents to buy them that cool new game and therefore satisfying money hunger of game publishers...

Uh, duh... That's what the Codex is here for :P

As long as a thread about a particular game is maintaining it's tone as a serious discussion about said game you can generally get a good idea if the game is worth running out and buying, waiting for it to go to the bargain bin, or forgetting about it. I've grabbed several games, some I hadn't even heard word one about based on threads here at the Codex, and have yet to be burned by teh general consensus. The Witcher is a recent example. If it wasn't for the Codex I wouldn't have even heard about it.
 

peak

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Suicidal said:
11/10 is reserved for Halo 3, game of the century.

Some shitfuck official Nintendo Magazine somewhere recently awarded that rare 11/10 to Super Mario Galaxy.
 

kris

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Lumpy said:
The game gives you unlimited freedom: you are free to play a guard, an assassin, a wise wizard...
... or a thief.

Not "or", it is "and", since yuo can be all at the same time, with the same character! Freedom to be everything at the same time, I wish I could be that IRL.
 

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