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Kodex Kommunistic Kolony in Rimworld, Season 1

Joined
Mar 16, 2016
Messages
450
There is no such thing as "makeshift trap".

What kind of trap is rooffall trap (roof on one pillar) or incineration room trap (closed room with burning trash inside) in this case? Personally i always called such traps makeshift since they don't need any kind of research beforehand.
 

Krivol

Magister
Joined
Apr 21, 2012
Messages
1,951
Location
Potatoland aka Prussia
I wonder if you ever use Grimwulfgrad to defend yourself - I mean there could be like 10 inside invasions in a row :P

Also when I was trying to do sth similar, enemies were trying to cut through stone to my colony.
 

Azira

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Nov 3, 2004
Messages
8,519
Location
Copenhagen, Denmark
Codex 2012
Baldrick has replaced him.

I propose we start using this portrait for Dreead if he pulls this off;
latest
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
I have a new plan!

Look, now that I know that everyone thinks I'm dead. And I know that Grim sees dead people and listens to their advice! I will go back to the colony and become one of the dead people he listens to! XAXAXAxaxaxaxax...xaxaxa..xa.

I only wish you posted this a bit earlier. :lol:
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
So stressed out, I cannot even speak.

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Enough is enough. I will deal with my demons right here, right now.

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Mmmugh *drinks the whole bottle in one go*

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Phew. Hello friend.

Yes. Now I see. Alcohol, the ultimate solution.

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I never felt so alive! I'm ready for any sort of dirty work right now.

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Can it be..? I feel happy!

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Cutting stone blocks in pitch black cold room, all alone in the middle of the night, with eerie silence hanging in the air. Is it a problem?

Not when you are merrily drunk!

:love:

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Pssst. Azira?

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Mmm, what time is it? Who died?

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Something's wrong with the baby. It hungers!

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*yawns* Then grab something to eat, what's the problem?

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B-but I was engorged just a few hours ago! And now starvation woke me up! What is wrong with me??

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Umm, twins, probably?

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WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?! I am trying to sleep here! ESPECIALLY YOU, HERR FIE-- Wait, where is that sunuvabitch?

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Good question.

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Fix me a drink, make it a strong one *hic* Hey comrade, a drink, make it a long one...

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MOOOONLIGHT AND VOOOOOOODKA--

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Shrek, are you drunk??

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You know what, I don't care. *Assaults the food like a ravenous beast*

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Dem ladies often say that my tongue is like another limb.

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*chewing*

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Want to know why they call me The Frog? *catches a fly with his tongue* That's why.

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*gnawing*

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I can see desire in your eyes. But this man has principles. You'll have to win my heart before you get my tongue.

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*burping*

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7th of Spring, 5501


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ARISE, KODEX KOMRADES! LOOK AT THE CRIMSON SUN AND WORK FOR ETERNAL GLORY!

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*yawns* How come this thing screams louder every morning?

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Don't know. One thing I do know for sure is there will be blood today, Azira. I'VE HAD ENOUGH! *grabs Peacekeeper Mk. 2 and walks outside*

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GRIMWULF! :x

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*om nom*

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You and me. Right here. This evening.

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You're stressed out. Lemme treat you a drink.

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Kalin? Hmrpf, suit yourself. *drinks the good stuff and goes to work*

A bit later.

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So. Who's the father?

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My guess is as good as yours.

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I see. You shouldn't drink in your condition, lacgirl.

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The baby hungers.

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Eats a lot, craves for alcohol... Could it be Grimwulf's child?

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But how??

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Our tunnels are extremely narrow. Maybe you two were trying to bypass each other, then you made an unfortunate fateful motion, and ta-dam - you're pregnant.

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Unfortunate motion, huh... *drinks*

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You'll be a good mother, lacgirl. I'll teach your child the art of medicine and surgery. If it will be a boy, of course. Grimwulf won't allow a female surgeon in our ranks.

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What if it's a girl?

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I will teach her piloting.

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I didn't know you were a pilot.

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The best among them all, sweetheart. Chatting time is over! Time to go hunting.

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Be careful, daddy!~

Meanwhile.

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А ХА ХА ХА ххахахахаххаххаахахахахахахахах

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Хаха. Ха. Жизнь прекрасна.

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Even though my wife is dying.

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АХАхахахахахахаха

Later that morning.


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Roof - check.

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What are you doin' here, woman?

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Trying to handle my pregnancy. Duh.

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You shouldn't drink, tho.

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HOW DARE YOU talk like that to a pregnant woman!

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*grumbles* Stupid crazy bitch.

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Where are you-- FINE, you walk away! Leave me alone, like you always do! ... So hungry...

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*psshhh* Daddy? Talk to me, please...

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*pshhh* Kind of busy right now, lacgirl. *bang* Oh, that's a gud one.

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Are you hunting muffaloes?

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Technically speaking, it's genocide, not hunting. *bang* Got ya.

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Mmm, bring it here. Such a big, beefy, juicy muffalo, smelling of raw meat and fresh blood...

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Get a hold of yourself, woman.

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I'm going to eat. Want to keep me company, Grimby?

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Eat? Again? Is your child a fucking deer or smth?

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I will love him, no matter how many hooves he has!!

A bit later.


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Kalin, you watch yourself near that female.

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I can handle myself in bed. Wait, that sounds wrong. I mean--

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Screw you.

Meanwhile.


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BAAAARF

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*psshhhh* Help me, daddy. I don't feel so good...

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*ppsshhh* Say no more, lacgirl. Doctor Azira to the rescue!

One hour later.


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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Good girl! See, it wasn't as bad this time, right?

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Ggghhh

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Okay then! I have work to do, but we'll repeat the procedures in two days.

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Pls... no...

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Would you kindly take care of that anal bleeding yourself? My schedule is pretty rough. See ya!

Later that day.

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Gentlemen. Komrades. Brothers!

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Great. He's talking again.

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Shut it, Greenbutt. I need to focus on that floor.

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Why waste such a fine day on pointless work, Kommissar Wolf? Let us enjoy a good conversation with a strong drink and quality food.

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*psshhh* Azira, your skillz are urgently needed. Private Greenbutt requires immidiate candle treatment. Over.

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*psshhh* One last muffalo, Grim. I have to finish the job.

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Resistance is futile! *bang*

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*psshh* Lacgirl, I hope we have enough space in the fridge?

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*psh pshh* Don't worry, daddy. I'll free some space for you.~

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You do that. *bang* I'll need it.

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Later that day.


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Phew. This one was heavy.

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You are such a great hunter!~ It makes me horny. And hungry... More like, very hungry and a bit horny.

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Riiight. I should go. Hey, Kalin!

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Fuck you, Azira! I had to dig this whole sector myself! I'm sick tired of all that mining! I demand a vacation AND a bonus!

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Come on now. I'm here to help.

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As a wise man once said, "Communism is not love. Communism is a hammer which we use to crush the enemy."

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I will crush you with a granite club if you stay here one more second.

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I liked the moaning version of Ryan more than the current one.

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Grimwulf.

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A hard working man deserves a bite of bread, doesn't he?

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Indeed. Have a nice snack. Beware of females.

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Yeah, yeah. Evenin', lacgirl.

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Pff. Grimwulf came to eat. Again.

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To each according to his needs, woman.

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*sigh* So many males. Not a single men.

A bit later.

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How was it?

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The girl is better suited for a space cop job than you, Kalin.

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Say what??

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I bet she could rip your pigtails and shove 'em up your arse.

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LACGIRL! *walks inside the kitchen* SHOW YOURSELF, DAMN WHORE!

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Why? I thought you are into boys, Kalin.

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DID YOU JUST CALL ME A FAGGOT?! That does it, THAT FUCKING DOES IT!!!

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You won't dare to harm a pregnant woman!

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Resistance to authorities!

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Eek! You won't get me alive! *Attacks Kalin*

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Hngh! Why, you BITCH! *beats lacgirl into the ground*

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TAKE THAT! *thud* TAKE THAT!!! *thud* RRRRRAAGH! *breaks her nose*

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*cries*

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*breathing heavily* That will teach ya. Ain't nobody a cop here but me. *spits on crying blooded lacgirl*

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*psshh* A riot has been supressed. I repeat, a riot has been supressed. Over. Phew. Get up, bitch.

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Leave me alone...

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Get up!! Eat. And next time you speak to me, you show some fucking respect!

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How could you? I'm pregnant!

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I DON'T CARE! I HATE YOU!

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Later that evening.


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ХАХАХАХАХАХАХАХАХА хахахахаха хаха... Ха.

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Research bench! NEW PLANS! NEW PLANS!!! АХА ХА ХАХАХАХАХАХА хаха.

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You are crazy, Dreaad.

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Yeah, says A TALKING SNOWMAN!

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...

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That's right, you'd better be silent! Or else! Damn suka. Blyad.

Meanwhile.


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By the gods. What happened to you people?

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*weeps*

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Just a broken nose, boo-fucking-hoo.

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I only have one set of dirty socks.

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Give it to me. Been a hard day, keepin' criminals in check an' all that.

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Don't worry, lacgirl. I'll find something to treat you too.

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I trust you, daddy.

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You should. I am a professional, after all. A male doctor.

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Meanwhile.

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Slow-ass Kalin can't clear the goddamn secotor, fuck's sake.

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Why are you wasting time on stone floor, Grimwulf?

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Grimwulfgrad needs to be finished, every last bit of it. This is my legacy. Something you won't understand, woman!

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You need more steel. For the turrets, doors, batteries, power generators...

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You think I don't know that? Right after Kalin digs the damn sector, I'll send him to that vein to the north.

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Maybe you should check on Dreaad's hut, Grim? Who knows what might be left there. Besides, don't you need to bury his body?

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There's nothing left. He traded everything he had for food. Once he ran out of stuff - badum-tss - Dreaad is dead.

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Then you should banish more people to Gulag. Make them work, Grimwulf! Right now they are doing nothing.

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I would agree with Sparkles on that, but she is a woman, probably even a German. Let's just say that my opinion happened to be the same as hers.

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Lacgirl eats and vomits. Hello friend drinks and loiters. Azira hangs around, shooting muffaloes, drinking moonshine and pushing anal candles in living people. Kalin is half-useful at least.

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What do you expect me to do, woman? I'm doing my best, but the material is shit. You can't make a candy out of shit and mud!

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That's exactly what Soviet candies were made of.

Later that night.


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Honey, I'm leaving. You behave yourself, you hear?

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...

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If I see you with that basic bro snowman, I swear..! :argh:

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...

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So many plans, so many ideas... Хахахах. Ха. KODEX KOMMUNISTIC KOLONY WILL BE MIIIINE!!! ХАХАХАХАХАХА

Something woke me up! Sounded like laughter of a very evil babushka.

Awright, since I wrote that down for some reason, I might as well describe KKK's current status.

The Ghetto still looks like slums. Nothing can fix that. Ever.

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But now we have a working big-butt fridge/warehouse. Should be enough for our first harvest.

Grimwulfgrad ain't finished yet.

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The problem is the usual: severe shortage of steel and components. Currently working on the floor, to speed up the movement and make Grimwulfgrad look classy.

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People are kinda edgy lately.

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But that ain't no problem. I will ENCOURAGE them in the morning.

MAKE YOUR KEY CHOICE

Sooner or later we shall resume our research. It might happen tomorrow, or a year later. No matter! We must be prepared.

What tickles your fancy?

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1. Devilstrand - gud tailoring material. What's more important, it's red. Every citizen of KKK shall be dressed in red later on.

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2. Colored lights - you know you want them.

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3. Hydroponics - one day this technology will solve all our food issues, once and for all. BUTT, it will require a shitton of steel and components to make it happen.

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4. Brewing - if komrades decide to grow hops, this technology will allow us to brew alcohol. Alcohol. Alcohol.

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5. Smithing - for all yer fancy armor/swords/buttplug needs.

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6. Tube television - to watch TV from SPACE!

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7. Carpet making - mandatory for any Soviet kolony. A home with no carpet is a home with no soul, remember that.

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8. Machining - very useful technology. It will allow us to disassemble dead centipedes and recover valuable plasteel from their corpses. Plasteel can be used to make all kinds of quality gear, including power armours.

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9. Explosive IEDs - allows to build traps out of cheap artillery shells. This type of traps is useful in open spaces like Grimwulfgrad's killing grounds.

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10. Incendiary IEDs - same thing, only this traps sets everything around on fire. Useful in narrow stone corridors like Grimwulfgrad's south entrance.

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11. Electric smelting - allows to set up an electric smithy. And also a smelter - a nearly useless device that allows to melt stuff into marginal amounts of steel, while demanding a fuckton of power. The smelting itself is extremely slow too.

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12. Mortars - DEM MORTARS. Of course they are useful and all, but mortar's accuracy is absolute garbage. Normally we want a lot of mortars and a lot of shells, so it's more of a lategame tool for rich colonies.

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12. Technology is wicked and evil. Let KKK survive without this devilry!

Now you know that Dreaad is alive, thus you may take advantage of it. If you want.

1. Offer him food for technologies. Tell other kolonists that it was you who came up with all those great ideas. Earn respect and privileges.
2. Leave Dreaad alone. He doesn't concern you.
3. Tell everyone that Dreaad is alive. Suggest to trade with him / discuss terms of accepting him back. Dreaad is a valuable janitor.
4. Tell everyone that Dreaad is alive. Suggest executing him / confiscating his goods. Dreaad is a threat to KKK's national security.
5. *your own option*

Congratulations, survivor! You are still alive; have some stuff stored in your house; a stonecutters bench; a research table. Things are looking up! What is your next step?

bA38XUy.jpg


First of all, you have to decide:
I. Keep surviving in Gulag.
II. Try to return to KKK.

I. Plans of surviving in Gulag:
1. Research technologies and sell them to Azira. Not many berries left. Not enough to last til the end of growing season.
2. Maybe he will be willing to buy something else? Trade stone blocks, steel, hides - whatever! (you currently have 160 granite blocks; 105 marble blocks; 113 muffalo hide; 238 turtoise hide; 15 steel)
3. Survive on berries, give nothing away. Focus on building, not researching. Building a wall around a safe inner yard (ogorod) should be a priority. Will be safer to grow stuff.
4. YOUR WIFE IS DYING!!! FASTER, BUILD A SMALL FRIDGE AROUND HER!!!
5. *your own option*

II. Plans of returning to KKK:
1.
Look, now that I know that everyone thinks I'm dead. And I know that Grim sees dead people and listens to their advice! I will go back to the colony and become one of the dead people he listens to! XAXAXAxaxaxaxax...xaxaxa..xa.
In which case specify what to do in case you stumble into angry Kalin holding Peacekeeper Mk.2
2. Knock on the front door, introduce yourself as another man. What are the chances they will recognize you?
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In which case specify your new name/identity.
3. Kick the door and bribe your way in!!!
4. Kick the door and beg your way in!!!
5. *your own option*
 
Last edited:

Wayward Son

Fails to keep valuable team members alive
Joined
Aug 23, 2015
Messages
1,866,294
Location
Anytown, USA
In order of importance:
Brewing (For that true Soviet feel)
Hydroponics (we need water to grow the potato to make he vodka)
Machining (need teh plasteel to make powah Armah to protect the potato and vodka.)
 
Unwanted

Kalin

Unwanted
Dumbfuck Zionist Agent
Joined
Sep 29, 2010
Messages
1,868,264
Location
Al Scandiya
Heck yeah, finally got to smash ugly prole skull! Best update yet, feels gud men.

Also, gotta love the battered tranny syndrome, relations being boosted by a beating while my own goes down to -100. :lol:

Tough choice on the technomajiffs though, I say get brewing and then smithing, need booze and proper space cop gear.
 

Reinhardt

Arcane
Joined
Sep 4, 2015
Messages
29,226
Maybe, just maybe... If someone from gulag can research brewing and present it to KKK...
 
Joined
Jul 11, 2010
Messages
3,212
Location
Vostroya
Excelent update, as always! :salute:

Kalin soundtrack.
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As for technology, given that the kommunistic kolonists are basically dorfs, I'd say that the kolony should develop brewing first, hydroponics second, and then smithing.
 

Azira

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Nov 3, 2004
Messages
8,519
Location
Copenhagen, Denmark
Codex 2012
Ah, voting time.

Research brewing first and foremost, because of reasons.

And as to Dreaad. Tell everyone he is still alive. We should collect him back, he's an interesting specimen, having survived so long on his own. He merits some research from yours truly. Maybe he'll react differently to anal candles? After months on his own?
Also, of course, confiscate all his goods.
 

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