Life lessons games taught you

[taxalot]

You are all morons.

 

[thesecret1]

Sengoku Rance taught me that the surest way to win a girl's heart is through rape.

 

[Humanophage]

1. Baldur's Gate 1 - you must sleep 8 hours to recover your health and spells. This really helped my healthy sleep habits.
2. Dungeon Cleaners - we should have closed the borders and stopped trade with the Chinese years ago:

 

[Boleskine]

Adventures games taught me to steal everything I can.

 

[Wyatt_Derp]

I should have done more with my life 25 years ago.

 

[Tweed]

Don't open it.

 

[Black Angel]

There's shitload of stuff to learn from quotes in Alice: Madness Returns, if not also American McGee's Alice

When you're not on edge, you're taking too much space.

Different denotes neither bad nor good, but it certainly means not the same.

 

[BLOBERT]

BROS YOU MUST WALK INTO EVERYONS
HOUSE UNINVITED AND FUCKING STEAL WHATEVER THEY OWN IF YOU WANT

SOMETIMES ITS TRICKY BE MINDFUL OF SOCIAL NORMS SOMETIMES PEOPLE WILL JUST WHINE A LITTLE BUT OTHER CULTURES WILL FUCKING SEND EVERY MAN WOMAN AND CHILD TO KILL YOU FOR STEALING SILVERWARE LOLLLLOLL

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IF YOU ENCOUNTER WILDLIFE OR DIFFERENT RACES YOU SHOULD PROBABLY KILL THEM ALLLL THEN FIND WHERE THEY LIVE AND FUCKING MURDER THE WHOLE PLACE BECAUSE ONLY GENOCIDE PURGES EVIL FROM THE LAND

 

[Optimist]

Never touch weird gooey shit dripping off the ceiling

 

[Melan]

Put a stack of flour on the table, pour a bucket of water on it to make dough, place dough in oven to make bread. Exit random NPC's house and take the delicious bread with you.

 

[Gregz]

Save your jew gelt

 

[howlingFantods]

Trading with other PCs in runescape as a kid taught me an important business lesson:

1.) In a transaction, assume the other person is trying to fuck you over.
2.) Preemptively fuck over the other person just in case they are planning to do the same thing to you (which they are according to rule 1).
3.) Party hats are the ultimate status symbol so you should probably fork over all your worldly belongings for it if you should ever see it grace the other side of the trade window

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

GIANT SPIDERS

GIANT SPIDERS

MAKE FANTASY GAME, USE GIANT SPIDERS

NEVER GET CREATIVE HERE

ARACHNOPHOBIA IS #1 FEAR

GIANT SPIDERS, GIANT SPIDERS

LOOK LIKE TARANTULAS BUT GREW MIGHTIER

RARELY USE TACTICS OR STRATEGY

WHO NEEDS TRAPDOORS WHEN THEY CAN RUN TO YOUR PRIEST

GIANT SPIDERS, GIANT SPIDERS

TURN TO BEARS OR SET ON FIRE

LOOKS INTIMIDATING BUT IS A BREEZE

GOOD TO GRIND OUT FOR 300 XP

 

[Manjuice Nutella]

Back when I was a kid, vanilla WoW Auction House gave me the first lesson in economics, supply and demand
That was my first business in a way, offering 5/15% better prices than the competition

 

[lightbane]

Useless people work wonders as meatshields, expendable scouts and trap detectors. Extra points if you make them unwilling suicide bombers.

From classic Xcom.

 

[Alphons]

Breaking Geneva Conventions gets you experience.

Civilian casualties have some of the best loot, especially wealthy traders and members of their families.

 

[Lord Commissar Alexer]

Being evil is much more fun.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

1. Kill all elves.
2. If in doubt see 1.

 

[Norfleet]

1. WE REQUIRE MORE MINERALS!

2. YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS!

Also, lessons it has taught me in how to raise my kids:

Don't bother with low-tier newbie gear, you'll just outlevel it immediately, just use whatever drops. That's why they just wear dead animals that they killed. Wear whatever drops! You save so much money not buying shitty kids' clothes that way!

 

[Biscotti]

You can get anywhere in life with high enough CHR/Speech.

 

[Alpan]

To believe in an ideal is to be willing to betray it.

START WITH A FRAGMENT OF THE ENEMY. A DROP OF BLOOD. A CRYSTALLIZED THOUGHT. ONE OF THEIR HOPES. ALL OF THESE THINGS TELL THE WAY IT CAN DIE.

The mind wraps its secrets in symbols; when we discover the symbols that shape our enemy's thought, we can penetrate the vault of his mind.

---

Perhaps you were expecting some surprise, for me to reveal a secret that had eluded you, something that would change your perspective of events, shatter you to your core. There is no great revelation, no great secret.

 

[Carrion]

You can get anywhere in life with high enough CHR/Speech.

What if you come across a pack of rats, though?

 

[ERYFKRAD]

You can get anywhere in life with high enough CHR/Speech.

What if you come across a pack of rats, though?

Throw some food at them.

 

[Lagi]

Harshmens, that were the most hilarious things I read in a while. Honestly I expect serious advices like from OP, but I find better. A rare treasure - laugh out loud.

 

[Carrion]

Throw some food at them.

Well, here's another problem that I'm facing due to taking life lessons from games:

I'm heading out into the scorching heat of a post-apocalyptic wasteland with no food. I do have a 10mm pistol and a couple of flares. Any help, guys? Guys?