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Lagole Gon

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Nov 4, 2011
Messages
7,281
Location
Retaken Potato
Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Codex Year of the Donut Pathfinder: Wrath
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Melcar

Arcane
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
35,222
Location
Merida, again
Best CRPG portrait of all time:

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This one always brings great memories when I see it, because I was in high-school when the game came out and there was a girl in my class that looked exactly like that one :)

You bang her? Tell us you banged her.

Why do you think he kept playing IWD? Every time he would load the game he would fap to her image and pretend he was in an "adventure" with her.
 
Unwanted
Dumbfuck
Joined
Oct 29, 2020
Messages
999
Location
Free Market Paradise
Codexian liberal.

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Codex jew.

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This is how you COPE.

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This is just some thot along for the ride, but o-lala, look in the back. That's one hot skeleton.

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Liberal anti-semite, pretty accurate.

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This is how the actual gameplay looks, it's shit.

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Codex Christian.

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Codexian capitalist.

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He's best friends with skeletor over here.

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Codexian homo, likes to smoke weed, get pounded in the ass and fight pollution by picketing outside a dwarven forge while imps pour toxins into the local lake.

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Unwanted
Dumbfuck
Joined
Oct 29, 2020
Messages
999
Location
Free Market Paradise
The dwarf capitalist isn't like most capitalists. I suppose he's a cuckservative.

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The elves in this game are extremely gay.

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Thankfully we have this boner to cockblock the gays with.

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Yup, he's a cuckservative.

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A cuckservative against weed? Nazi.

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Lizards are just orcs with scales.

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Harem anime... GO!

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Actually, I already have my eye on a single one. The rest suck and are bitchy and annoying.

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Total QT3.14159

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Right, Skeletor.

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Daddy issues means she's a no-go.

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Yeah, warning lights going on along with sirens.

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No jewish princess, she died.

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This guy is a bro.

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Look how happy Skeletor is.

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Oh no.

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Dayyālu

Arcane
Joined
Jul 1, 2012
Messages
4,466
Location
Shaper Crypt
Dragon Commander may well be one of the worst games I've ever played. It wasn't even worth the time to pirate it.

Psycho development priorities, I guess. Even your screenshots, jokingly, look like 90% of the game is pseudo-VN (with GIANT FANTASY TIDDIES, ofc, that's great) instead of the frankly embarassing gameplay we got.

What the fuck.
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,158
I would have thought that being a dragon commander was an awesome thing. At the very least the pics are hilarious. While elves being "pro-modern day" ideals is quite gay, that's fitting for elves. I'm not sure why skeletons would be so religious and akin to Christian preachers, when immortality should let them discard such puny ideas and attempt to become gods themselves instead.
 

DrKubiac

Educated
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
66
Sorry Riskbreaker, I've never watched that movie. My inspiration comes mostly from my surroundings and the countless old villages and castle I visit on a regular basis. Regarding movies, I guess I do take inspiration from Dark City and Name of the Rose, but that's about it...
Awesome looking conversion btw
 

Riskbreaker

Guest
Ah, I see. I think you'd appreciate that movie tho just going by the vibe of those FMs of yours I've played and your liking for Dark City.

Anyway.
Shroom 2, 'Ar Luminae'
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Quake, Halloween Jam 2020
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Unwanted
Dumbfuck
Joined
Oct 29, 2020
Messages
999
Location
Free Market Paradise
I would have thought that being a dragon commander was an awesome thing.
Leave it to Larian to make an RTS where you can jump in as a jetpack wearing dragon and toast enemy units boring. The components for a good game are there, it just never meshed together and the gameplay, unlike the VN aspects is very unpolished. You basically race against the AI to produce as many top tier units as possible before the population in the map area runs out, you both get units from the same pool and it is usually pretty limited. There isn't much strategy involved, especially since you start with very different conditions due to the overworld map. You just send your blob of units to capture resources, if they aren't gone already, kind of like in DoW, then you attack the enemy base. You have your dragon form to even things out when they start with fifty units and you have none, some battles are winnable, some are not. It really is like what you would expect of a 1C published Russian janky RTS that is a clone of Dark Crusade with funny writing and waifus tacked on by some quality dev, those animations and the VA work is pretty high quality and not something you'd find in a small slavjank title.

The weird thing is that Larian realized just how shit their RTS component was, so they only let you fight one battle each turn by yourself, and if you fight more than that you have to send one of your generals in your stead, which means autoresolve with a bonus modifier. So much of the time you just autoresolve if you can, and many times it is the only thing you can do.

I'm not sure why skeletons would be so religious and akin to Christian preachers, when immortality should let them discard such puny ideas and attempt to become gods themselves instead.
When death is a approaching many do turn religious, and the undead are a reflection of that I guess. I have forgotten the particular lore for them actually, I just remember that they were partly animated by faith, as some skellies in Divine Divinity fell apart after thinking too much about what kept them together.

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Turns out the skeleton lady has a bone disease and isn't actually a man like I feared.

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I thought I was getting an undying wife, Skeletor, not a dying one.

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I'm pretty sure the skellies are just huge trolls.

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He seems pretty butthurt about it, but it's hard to dislike a lizard with a monocle.

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There is an imp doctor who says he might have a cure for boneitis.

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Seems legit.

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Just talking to the demon who is giving us all this cool stuff to wage war with, seems like a nice guy.

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You can actually give him blood and then some. You can feed him your wife if you want to remarry, it's a funny mechanic, but I haven't given up on her yet. And I'm not named Henry VIII.

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This is what the large map looks like, if you play the game right you'll spend more time on that than fighting yourself as a dragon.

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Is this how undead reproduce?

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Yeah, he should stop being such a drama queen about it.

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After some UN approved experiments on orcs and some kidnappings we got a new body for our skelly to transfer her soul into, Skeletor is not into the idea though.

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This is what the people in the business call foreshadowing.

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The lizard lady isn't too thrilled about it.

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Hubba hubba hubba!

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Great, experimenting on orcs and murdering ladies weren't enough, now we are going to demontown too.

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Why not?

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How did the press know? Do we have a leak?

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This feminist lady wanted to be paid more earlier, and you can just say no because she's so annoying about it. It's pretty great since you get to use her for cheaper. Everytime you use one of the generals to autoresolve you need gold.

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Grrrr!

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This game is pretty cynical. Earlier the lizards wanted some equality bill pushed through, mostly because they pay more imperial taxes than other people and equality would have meant they got to keep their wealth.

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Right, back to the waifu. Finally both her and Skeletor are happy.

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Get off her case, lizard lady. You shouldn't talk, you suggested to ban public breastfeeding and yet you're some freaky lizard with teats yourself.

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Vampire ending.

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Fug, that sanpaku.

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I'm pretty sure lizards shouldn't have breasts.

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Based dwarf.

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Betrayal by the demon, how could this be?

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Last edited:

Riskbreaker

Guest
Initial monster count is 3000+ on UV. And the whole thing is tough as balls. It technically ain't a slaughtermap but the combat it is downright sadistic and he is really, really stingy on ammo and health. Doesn't help that I'm unfamiliar with the gameplay mod this was based around, so I was completely unaccustomed to these weapons and new monster behaviors.
It's sure impressive tho.
 

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