Completed Let's Larp the Court of King Vale clumsily preparing a royal summit in Fit To Be A King

[Ol' Willy]

ValeVelKal you didn't count my vote in the favor of reforming religion! That would make it -94, and we're almost there!

Speaking about bears and fire, I know a good story from Eastern Tsardom. So, a bear walks in the forest. He comes upon the burning carriage. Then, he boards the carriage and burns.

 

[V_K]

I, for one, think you shouldn't spend money to cater to traitors and heretics, which leaves only the golden suit and firebreathers as eligible things to buy.
Also, what better way to show wealth than with literal, unspent gold?

(and don't listen to Satanic witch, there is no more gold in the church!)

 

[ValeVelKal]

Well, you can stop posting, I went to the summit, I just need to update you :p

 

[vazha]

Unleash teh mighty updatan, let the black gayser of glory erupt!

 

[Andnjord]

I just need to update you

You can update me any time you want boss

Spoiler

No homo

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Buy what you can. Then take the land of the guilders and their shops, confiscating them for tax avoidance. Resell the goods at market value and add the gold to your holdings.

 

[ValeVelKal]

Part X : The Summit

Completing the fetch quests

Well, it was time to prepare for the summit for real ! First, let's dress for a summit !

You're looking very regal today. I look forward to the summit.

<summit> For 500 gold, I can sew a SUIT of gold

I feel like I already had this conversation.

<suit> Will you pay 500 gold for a gold suit ?

<yes>

I am... magnificient.

Next stop was in the cellar :

<fountain> You'll finance wine fountains with 600 gold

<yes>

I did not forget to visit the Court Jester :

First thing first, the Knighting :

After that, business !

<jugglers> It's a waste of gold, but 200 will get you jugglers.

Compared to what I pay the other, it is a pretty nice price !

The guard in Golden armor was marginally harder to get, as I needed Strange Fellow free !

My good Strange Fellow ! I mean, my good Knight Strange Fellow ! It was all a funny joke ! Really ! Ah ah ! How much laugh did we have. You are free of course !

Ah ! Ah ! You got me, my Liege. Really !

<Forgive> You'll feel much safer with me back at the job.

Let's go upstair !

<armor> It's pronounced ARMOUR

<armour> Will you pay 1000 gold for golden guard armor ?

Sure !

And now...

<Jail>


The rest was more straightforward :

The summit

... and just like that we are ready. Everything is ready really :

It is now time for the summit !

I hope you are ready for the summit, your Majesty. If we spend enough, we shall surely humiliate Blakemore

<Ready> Are you sure you want to start the summit ? This will end the game ! [Y/N]

Already ? But I was only starting to have fun with the voting system. Oh well ! Let's go !


And so, we went for the summit. After a fade to black, I arrived... and that's me crossing the Golden Field :

http://i.imgur.com/0EdU10n.gifv

You see I started pretty sober, but mid-way decided to drink some of Vatna's fountains of wine, so I was totally drunk. I ate some of the food, then went to meet Blakemore.

Talking to King Blakemore

The end for real

... and.... THE END.

Princess Sukhavati ensured that the alliance between Infinitron and Vale's kingdom would last for generations.

Steward Andnjord slipped out of the castle one Spring to pursue his dream as a traveling performer.

Major_Blackhart was imprisoned in his homeland for irritating another ruler with his sage advise.

To be fair I did not really engage with that last character (cool music though)

 

[ValeVelKal]

So yeah that's it. Shorter than I thought, but I knew it was not going to be long.

As usual, give me your input (for next time). I will do a small note tomorrow about what happens if you reform and the impressive number of "end cards" possible.

 

[Helly]

Wait, you didn't get the badgers?

Spoiler

Which means that's not the *true* ending

 

[ValeVelKal]

Wait, you didn't get the badgers?

Spoiler

Which means that's not the *true* ending

Damn, I just realized I did not save that game where I bought the badgers. I still found the code for the HISTORICAL ENDING because I checked the source file a bit.

Problem is that I can't collect the badger, I have 120 gold left and I can't reform (cost 200) to bless the ghost and collect the rest. Oh well

Edit : Scratch that : I found 3 missing chests for 150. So badgers it is.

And here is the end with the hunting badgers :

Spoiler

At least I got a "Oh putain".

 

[Dayyālu]

My king, for a not!British sovereign your policies were surprisingly French. I'm entirely sure that a dynastic alliance with the Turk to fight the accursed Charles Dark Underlord will end up well. Entirely sure.

As usual, give me your input (for next time). I will do a small note tomorrow about what happens if you reform and the impressive number of "end cards" possible.

I don't think there's much to comment upon: it's a short fun romp. I'm rather curious to what happens if you don't bankrupt your kingdom and only selectively buy stuff for the Summit.

 

[vazha]

This was pure incline, Your Royal Highness!

Crusader Kings III with full-on court intrigue when?

 

[Darth Roxor]

bah, expected trial by combat

 

[V_K]

Any ending is a bad ending if the dog still lives.

 

[Dayyālu]

bah, expected trial by combat

The failure of the game of giving us the historical wrestling match between the kings deserves a letter of protest to be sent to the devs.

Spoiler

The two kings and their courts spent three weeks of partying. They were involved in jousting, games, and lavish festivities; tents of gold fabric populated the area. According to contemporary sources, 4,100 animals were slaughtered over the course of the meeting. Malmsey and claret flowed from drinking fountains, and into the mouths of the French and the English. The monarchs exchanged gifts and declarations of their “undying love and loyalty” to each other. In the midst of all that spectacular entertainment, Henry once beat François in an archery contest, and as the wine and success went to his head, he challenged his Valois rival to a wrestling match.

Historical accounts of the fight itself are scarce.

We don’t know how exactly the fight took place. Most likely, the two courts assembled around their sovereigns, watching them fight and each of them cheering their own liege lord. Eventually, François outmaneuvered his counterpart and threw him to the ground.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

We should continue this threat with other medieval games.

 

[ValeVelKal]

Post-scriptum

What does reform do ?

What does reform do ?

So indeed you can reform anytime for 200 gold :

... and indeed you get the write the rule.

You can marry anything (including the cat, the throne, opened chests, pile of refuse, ..., not the ghost though because he "resides beyond earthly laws of matrimony"). At the end of the game, you receive an endcard for every single one of your spouses (or your divorcees), including items. In addition, the fate of your kingdom changes according to who you marry, if you marry too many items for instance there are rumors of "half-furnitures beast" roaming the Kingdom.

As the new Pope, you can Ordain anything. Really anything, just like you can knight everything :

Finally, you can (B)less the Ghost, which chases him and allows you to reach the last two chests.

Historical mode

Historical mode

If you complete the game with everything (like I did after Helly pointed out I forget the badgers at home) you get a code to start with the historical mode :

The introduction is pretty cool :

Good morning, King Vale. We sure stuck it to Blakemore at the summit!

However, it seems you're a bit upset...

...since you're wearing your HISTORICALLY ACCURATE helmet and armour

and carrying your favorite spiked mace containing three matchlock pistols...

... but I suppose it's just as well because King Blakemore's parked out in the forest with his army!

You'll probably want to deal with this PERSONALLY.

If anything happens, use (A)ttack to fire a volley. Good luck

You get out of the castle and are attacked by assassins, which you can easily dispatch with (A) :

You can also ravage buildings :

But the real fun is the entrance of the village, which is exactly what Darth Roxor mondblut and Dayyālu wished to see :

Ultima IV type of combat :

if you win against Blakemore, you meet the Pope (the game assumes you reformed, even if you did not) :

then Emperor Dark Underlord himself...

And then... something even more terrifying than the HRE... the good damn BEAR ! No picture though.


And that's all for real this time !

 

[Andnjord]

That was a neat little game boss, although maybe not the most conductive one for audience participation as anyone with the minimum knowledge of the Codex knows that we were gonna buy EVERYTHING. What was our only real decision by the way, who to marry? And wether or not we would (R)eform?

And I agree, it's a shame this ended so quickly.

 

[Darth Roxor]

i like that you knighted the assassin at the end before killing him

 

[V_K]

So what happens if you reform but choose not to become supreme head? The game's palette stays inverted?

 

[ValeVelKal]

So what happens if you reform but choose not to become supreme head? The game's palette stays inverted?

The palette inversion is only a flash of light when you Reform, and when you Reform you automatically become Supreme Head.

 

[ValeVelKal]

That was a neat little game boss, although maybe not the most conductive one for audience participation as anyone with the minimum knowledge of the Codex knows that we were gonna buy EVERYTHING. What was our only real decision by the way, who to marry? And wether or not we would (R)eform?

And I agree, it's a shame this ended so quickly.

I expected the Codex to reform as soon as possible, offering a lot of options about wedding and divorcing - in addition to Knighting and EXecuting. I expected a bloodbath or a clique controlling the Ling
But I forget the Codex reluctance to do anything definitive, so no Reform and only one execution.
Honestly I was sure you would jail and/or execute ambassador Kalin immediately.



I did some mistakes, the voting system was unclear, the Knight overweighting did not help and as V_K hinted the threshold for action was too high.

But I disagree that it did not engage you guys. You went above and beyond. The bickering between V_K and, well, everyone else was epic, Dayyalu’s Butlering-behind-the-throne Was awesome, Mondblut or Strange Fellow fake old English was hilarious (« eate a bagge of dickes »), three of you created dedicated avatars, etc. I regret not unlocking Kalarion and Ol’Wily earlier and that Citizen left but I did not realize the game would end at the summit.
In any case, it had more engagement for 12 total entries than any of my other AAR/Let’s Play. It just clicked I think.


The love is only for you guys, you are a beacon of fun in a wretched hive of sexism, racism and vilainy.

 

[Strange Fellow]

Oh snap, I am behind and behind.

Ok, I am behind no more. Now I am only disappoint. Only one execution, and the ghost roams free.

Great job from our sponsor Vale, however. You weren't the problem here. Everyone else was, except for a chosen few. You know who you are.

What does reform do ?

What does reform do ?

So indeed you can reform anytime for 200 gold :

... and indeed you get the write the rule.

You can marry anything (including the cat, the throne, opened chests, pile of refuse, ..., not the ghost though because he "resides beyond earthly laws of matrimony"). At the end of the game, you receive an endcard for every single one of your spouses (or your divorcees), including items. In addition, the fate of your kingdom changes according to who you marry, if you marry too many items for instance there are rumors of "half-furnitures beast" roaming the Kingdom.

As the new Pope, you can Ordain anything. Really anything, just like you can knight everything :

Finally, you can (B)less the Ghost, which chases him and allows you to reach the last two chests.

See this? Each and every one of you Papists is a moron.

Can't fuckin believe we lost out on Father Sir Bear..

 

[Ol' Willy]

Father Sir Bear struck you!

Lol

 

[lightbane]

That was a fun read, I'll have to try this someday. A shame you used such a faulty system as democracy to decide what to do, doubly so in the case of the Codex, who cannot vote well to boot.
So, the "historically accurate" mode is basically a final combat it seems.
What happens if you execute too many people? Do you lose money every time you were killed and teleported back to safety?